2011
Despite the previous late night and hectic day, I was awake and ready for the day rather early. Saturday is long run day for me and I didn't want to waste my early rise and miss the opportunity to get in a few kilometers. I wasn't sure if Edward was a runner or if he was even awake. I stayed in bed and listened for any hint of noise from him but either he was as quiet as a mouse or he was still out for the count.
My knuckles tapped lightly on the spare room door a few times but there was no answer, I tried one more time to no avail so started to retreat to my room and gear up ready to head out before I heard a light thud and a few footsteps before Edward came to the door.
"Whitney?" He asked sleepily.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't, I've been awake for awhile now, jetlag, the downside of travelling," he stood in the doorway with his hair dishevelled, his torso bare and a pair of grey pyjama pants hung dangerously low on his hips. I tried, with great difficulty not to stare but he was rather stunning.
"Oh. Uh- well, I'm going to go out for a run shortly. Just a short 10km if you want to join me?"
"Really? I didn't know you ran. I'd love to. Give me a few minutes," he closed the door and I made my way back to my own room to get ready.
Edward was ready shortly after I was and he walked to the front door while pressing buttons on the watch fastened around his wrist. "Ready?" I smiled, holding the door open for him, "You know those gadgets don't make you run any faster." I laughed and followed him out the door.
"Of course they don't, but at least I can log a run in another part of the world." he shrugged and rolled his shoulders and stretched his hamstrings.
"You realise, you're wearing the same watch as me?" he shook his head at me as I came up next to him and we made our way to the end of the driveway.
"I know, I was just having you on. Don't be so precious," I laughed before pointing in the direction we were heading. "We head that way for about 2km, its uphill so be prepared. Then down that way, toward the waterfront before turning and coming back from that direction. I may have fibbed when I said 10km, it's closer to twelve."
"That's fine with me." he nodded and waited for me to lead the way.
"Wait, do you always travel with full workout gear?" I looked him up and down and he shrugged.
"Yeah. Wouldn't you? Benjamin is my PT too, so we usually try and get to the gym at least once while we're away. Helps with the jetlag too," he gestured to the direction I had pointed to start earlier, "after you, ladies first."
********************
"Edward, are you okay." I laughed at him hunched over the fence at the end of my driveway.
"That," he huffed, "was brutal."
"Those stairs in the last km are a killer aye?" I patted his back and my hand was met with a damp sensation, "Ew, gross. Come on, let's go in and get cleaned up, I'm starving too."
"Killer is right, I'm dead!"
********************
Edward sat at the kitchen table scrolling through his phone when I emerged from showering and dressing. He wore dark blue jeans that, honestly, looked tighter than mine, a black v-neck t-shirt and light brown boots. I had to do a double take to make sure it really was Edward and not a stranger. He looked different without a suit and tie on, he looked laid back and chilled out.
"I thought we could head out for brunch, what do you think?" he asked as I emerged.
I hesitated, for a really long time, "Whitney? Brunch? Yes?"
"Uh, I thought we could stay in and hang out on the deck," I tried to hide my nerves about Edward wanting to venture out. "I make amazing bacon and eggs." I raised my eyebrows trying to entice him.
He smirked at me, "Fine but you have to make the bacon perfectly or I'll be on a plane out of here faster than you can say burnt!"
"Yes!" I did a small goofy victory dance, "Sit tight and I'll be done in a jiffy."
I busied myself in the kitchen while Edward sat at the table supervising me.
"So Finn. He's your boyfriend?" Edward questioned.
"Woah, not even starting with the easy stuff. Just diving straight in the deep end?"
"I'm a good swimmer I guess," he shrugged and I cracked some eggs into a saucepan.
I laughed at his boldness. "Barve. Yeah, we've been together for five years now. We've known each other since high school."
"That's a long time," his face was expressionless.
"Not really. In the big scheme of things, it's a rather short time," my tone came out more defensive than I intended. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"Not right now."
"You seem sceptical," I paused trying to think before I spoke but the words were still coming out unfiltered. "About me and Finn. Do you not believe in love?" I turned the sizzling bacon over in the pan, my back to Edward.
"Not sceptical. Just hesitant," I heard him shift in his chair.
"Care to elaborate?"
"This is a pretty heavy topic for brunch don't you think?"
"Hey, you started it, not me." I plated bacon, Edwards resembling jerky, poached eggs, avocado and toast. "Can you carry the coffee, please? I don't trust my balance."
Edward took the mugs in his hands and followed me out to the back deck. "Wow, Whitney, this is amazing. So quiet and peaceful. I could stay out here forever."
"You're welcome to visit anytime."
We ate and talked about our jobs. Edward educated me about his rise through the company, focusing on his time in the mailroom, where he started and how much he loved seeing everyone as he delivered the mail to each floor of the company building. I talked about how I ended up with Hardman after my brazen comments to Alex and the strong bond we'd formed in the early days. He asked why I hadn't applied to Law School and I explained how I had no desire to ever be a lawyer. Policies, contracts and legislation are my forte and I actually enjoy it.
"So your father is retiring? That must be exciting for him?" I asked after a short silence.
"I don't think he is very excited about it," he drummed his fingers on the table while staring off into the distance. "He's looking forward to being able to slow down and finally enjoy 'the fruits of his labour'."
"And... how does he feel about you taking over the helm?" I probed further sensing he didn't want to come straight out and say it.
"Now who's being brave?"
"You make it sound like he isn't looking forward to letting someone else take over, but I can't decipher whether it's you he's worried about or just worried in general."
He stayed silent and continued staring out over the garden. "If my opinion counts, I think you'll do an amazing job."
"You do?"Edward looked over at me, his brows furrowed.
"I watched you yesterday when you talked about the company. Your face lit up like a Christmas tree, and when you talked about your father, your smile was so big, I swear your face almost exploded." I chuckled at the memory.
"There is absolutely no denying that you are the best person for the job. You weren't just giving us some over-rehearsed sales pitch, your passion was genuine. You're so proud of your father and everything he's achieved, I can tell that having you step up is a wise choice. You can't put a price on loyalty like yours Edward."
"Thank you Whitney. That means a lot to me. I've got time to think about it. He isn't stepping down tomorrow, or even within the year so I'm sure he'll come around."
Sensing his discomfort and change in mood I decided to attempt and ease his mind.
"Right, how about this? No more business talk. Let's forget about the office and just get to know each other and leave that stuff behind, yeah?" Edward nodded and gave me a grateful smile before diving back into the conversation.
"Tell me about Finn. I haven't met him yet but I want to know about him."
"Finn, hmm," I'd never really had to talk about him before. "I don't really know where to start," I confessed.
"How did you meet?"
"How did we meet? Well, we went to Highschool together, we weren't exactly friends at first. He was sporty and active and I was fun and social. We were opposites really." I was amazed at how easy it felt to open up to Edward like this. When I talked to other people about my past I barely gave them a sentence yet with Edward it was so simple for me to share my history with him. Comfortable. He seemed to be genuinely interested too.
"If you were complete opposites, then how did you end up together for what, five years?" He was relaxed and leant back in his chair, soaking up the morning sun and seeming to feel more at home as we chatted.
"I don't really remember how things changed. One day we just started spending more and more time together. In our final year, all of our groups and cliques seemed to merge together and we sort of just found each other I guess."
"We kept in touch and hung out after we graduated, Finn went off to university and I started working. It wasn't till he finished his degree that we became 'official'. Before that we were very casual, I think everyone knew we would end up together. Even before we were officially together we were considered a couple. Ever since, it's been him and I against the world. I don't know where or who I would be today without him. He's been by my side through so much, I love him with every fibre in me. I can't imagine life without him at my side."
"He's the one that encouraged me to start the blog. I feel I have him to thank for meeting you in some ways."
Edward raised his nearly empty coffee mug to me, "To Finn and the part he's played in our friendship." I met his mug with mine and laughed at his comments.
"And what about you then? Why is there no special someone in your life?" I questioned, Edward could have any woman he desired, I'm sure they flocked to him and he had to shoo them off with a stick.
"I have so many women falling at my feet, literally." he confessed with a slight sigh.
"Sorry Mr popular," I teased.
"Ha, I wish it was a good thing," he leant forward to rest his elbows on his knees before continuing the story. "Finding someone genuinely interested in someone like me, it isn't an easy task, believe me."
"What do you mean 'someone like you'?" I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"No one sees a person when they look at me. I'm just an object to most people. Everyone has an endgame, a purpose, ulterior motives when they get close to me. I can't have friends because they all use me in some way or form. My sister is the same. People get close to us and they want something from us, money, fame, a job, you name it and people will try and get close to us just to get it." The look on his face made my heart ache. I couldn't understand how anyone could look past who Edward is as a person first and foremost.
"You mean you don't have friends?" I asked with sorrow in my voice.
"Real ones? No. Everyone close to me is either family or I pay them for their services."
"What? You pay people to be your friend?" I asked shocked confused.
"Wait, that came out wrong. I mean that I have people close to me, like Benjamin, and my housekeeper Constance. My assistant Evie. They're all extremely loyal to me and they always have been," he let out a loud sigh before continuing. "I don't doubt their loyalty but I do wonder how much I could trust them if I didn't pay them for the work they do for me. They go above and beyond their call of duty, always." He leant back in his chair and met my gaze. He didn't break my stare when he said, "I'm glad I've found you Whitney."
I couldn't hide the smile that spread across my face. I didn't have friends either, I had acquaintances, colleagues and Finn's friends that I had adopted as my own but not a close friend that I could confide in, someone I told my deepest and darkest secrets to. The friends I did have in high school didn't stick around when we left and parted ways. Sadly I'm like a friend nomad. Speaking to Edward and getting to know him better, I was realising that we are more alike than I could have thought.
"It's like you're surrounded by people but you're still lonely," I spoke in a quiet tone.
"That is my life summed up in a sentence." He seemed to be weary, as if his life had felt lonely for such a long time that he was growing tired of it.
I wanted to take it all away from him; to be the person to take away his loneliness and for him to be mine in return.
"Stand up," I ordered.
"What? Why?" he asked, confused and apprehensive.
"Just do it," I tried to reassure him but he was still unsure of what was about to happen.
I put my empty coffee mug down on the table and unfolded my legs from beneath me on the chair and stood up facing him. Edward copied me and stood stiffly in front of his chair. I smiled reassuringly at him but it didn't seem to ease the fear he had of the unknown. Letting out a loud sigh I took three steps to close the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. He put his hands out, gripping my hips lightly in an attempt to stop me getting closer. His body remained tense and rigid as I raised up on my tiptoes to rest my chin on his shoulder and pulled him closer to me, holding him tightly.
Edward's heart pounded in his chest and I could feel it drumming away as I held his body tightly to mine. He didn't move for a few moments and I worried if I had overstepped an invisible boundary between us.
Finally, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me, placing his hand on my back and squeezed me like his life depended on it.
"I don't want anything from you Edward, I just need a friend," I whispered, still holding him close.
"I need you too Whitney."
We released our hold and I looked up at him, a shadow of a smile on his lips. Standing here, in front of him, I felt brave and important.
"Edward, I have no ulterior motive. I don't want to be close to you and use you for anything. All I can offer you is my friendship. I will never lie to you or deceive you. You'll always get the truth from me. I want to be here for you, whenever you need me and all I ask of you, is all of that in return." He studied my face while I continued. "Like you, I don't have anyone close to me that I trust. Everyone needs someone like that in their life and I promise you will have that in me, if you decide that you want to be that person for me too," he ran his hand through his hair nervously and looked away from me. "We have a connection and I will do what I have to, to keep that."
Edward looked me in the eye and with sincerity in his voice said "Thank you Whitney."
To give him time to think about what I'd said, I made my way inside with the dishes and hid in the kitchen busying myself tidying up. There was no sound coming from the deck once I'd finished in the kitchen and I wondered what Edward was doing outside by himself.
After creeping out quietly, I saw him standing next to the flower beds in the back garden. He stood with his hands held behind his back and leant down to smell a few of the various flowers blooming in vibrant colours. I leant against a wooden pillar and watched him make his way around the garden peacefully. He looked so different to the Edward I had met yesterday. He seemed much more laid back and relaxed. I pondered if this was the Edward his family were used to. The man they know and love.
As if sensing my presence, Edward turned and smiled at me and it knocked me for six. There had been a shift in him over the course of the morning. Something had changed in him. He looked so effortlessly handsome, his green eyes glowing among the garden setting. He had me awestruck. I hadn't noticed how truly exquisite he is until this very moment. The smile that beamed on his face was so genuine and real that everything about him reflected that too. Edward amazed me and I felt something inside me that I hadn't felt for a very long time. He soothed me and made me feel home. Just as something had changed in him, something had also changed in me. Seeing him like this, content, peaceful and happy, in my own sanctuary, the place I felt safe and comfortable, made me want to hold onto him and do everything I can to keep him close. I want to remember him like this and for him to stay this way around me.
"What's with the goofy grin?" he woke me from my thoughts, nudging my shoulder as he made his way up the steps of the deck.
"Huh?"
"Your face," he pointed at my lips, "looks like you just saw a unicorn."
"What? I was just admiring how relaxed you look. I like you like this." I admitted shyly.
"You didn't like me before?"
"Oh, give off. Your ego is showing." I joked as he followed me inside.
He laughed, "You sound like my sister. That is something she'd say."
"I think we'll get on famously," I teased.
A serious look on his face, "who said I was going to introduce you two."
I gave him a wounded look and he just laughed at my expression and headed inside.
"Do you have any photo albums? From when you were a kid?" He asked over his shoulder.
"Yes," I dragged the word out. "I don't think I like where this is leading."
"Oh, don't be scared. I just want to know what you were like as a kid."
"I feel like that is something I'd only do after a few glasses of wine." I had plenty of albums of me as a child and growing up. That was the blessing and curse of being an only child, my parents documented every single step, tooth lost, grazed knee, school award, birthday and achievement. I just wasn't so happy showing anyone the plethora of memories documented.
"Oh come on, they can't be that bad."
"Oh yes they can!" I rebutted.
Reluctantly, I headed into the attic space to get the boxes of albums I'd saved. "Well?" I called from the top of the ladder. "Are you going to help me or not?"
We spent hours going through the six boxes of albums, certificates and mementos. Edward laughing at far too many of the pictures. Each time I turned the page, I cringed at his reaction. Plenty of giggles and 'you were so cute' comments came from his spot on the couch next to me. Edward asked me about so many of the memories I had of pictures that had been taken. Each time I recalled the events he would watch me intently and hang on every word I'd said. Part way through the third album I asked him why he was enjoying reliving the good old times with me.
"It's nice to see what a normal childhood is like. So many of the things you've shown me, I never got to experience, this," he motioned to the albums scattered around us. "It's like I'm living vicariously through you." It pained me to fathom that anyone would miss out on their own childhood. Every memory I had of mine was beautiful. Long summers at the beach with my family and our friends, drinking from the hose because we were too lazy to get one from inside. Breaking countless windows playing cricket in the culdesac with the neighbourhood kids. Building forts and having secret club meetings in them. Using the street lights as a curfew and riding our bikes everywhere, dubbing our friends when they got a flatty. Winters were all about jumping in puddles with our bare feet. Annoying our parents running through the house before we were sent to the next house to annoy another parent. Trips to the ski fields, only to be met with blizzards and forced to stay in the hot pools for the remainder of the day. My childhood was bliss and I hated Edward missing out on the joy I had the privilege of experiencing.
After another hour Edward asked me the question I had been dreading since we started this journey down memory lane.
"Where are the other albums? The ones of you in high school and beyond?" His puzzled expression shifted when he turned to look at me. He saw the pained look on my face and took my hand in his. "Whitney, is everything okay?"
Lost in my thoughts, it took me a while to answer his question. Once I told him, there would be no going back. My fear of the inevitable pity had consumed me for so many years. I didn't want Edward to think of me as broken, fragile or tiptoe around my feelings like everyone else did once they found out about the day my life irrevocably changed.
"Earth to Whitney," he must have spoken to me a few times before I heard him because he squeezed my hand a few times to shake me back to reality.
"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts for a minute. What did you say?"
"Why do all the memories stop here? There aren't any more albums after this one." He held the album in his hand, the last picture taken during an assembly awarding students special badges for leadership, my smiling face prominent as I shook the hand of our school Principal.
The truth had to come out eventually. I swallowed my pride, if he didn't hear it from me, I'm sure he'd find out some other way. I had told him during dinner the previous night about my parents but that barely scratched the surface.
"My parents passed away when I was 16. There aren't many happy memories after that day. The albums stopped because there wasn't anyone to make them anymore."
Time seemed to stand still as I waited for Edward to react. Never had I ever told anyone of my parents death without them reacting like the world had ended. Suddenly I was a child deprived of love and care, needing fixing, love and a home cooked meal. People didn't understand how to act around me when they knew my story. As if in an instance they forgot who I am and only saw an orphan. I hated the stigma associated with the death of my parents. I am and will always be more than what happened to me.
"That's a terrible tragedy. I can only imagine what you must have gone through. Seeing you today, I never would have thought you'd lost the two most important people in your life. You're a very strong woman Whitney. I mean that. Please don't ever forget your own strength."
"Thank you Edward," was all I could respond. For the first time, I hadn't heard pity and sorrow in response. He'd learnt of my darkest time and he, instead of feeling sorry for me, was praising me. I was relieved and thankful that things between us had gone smoothly. The point of my late parents bringing us closer together rather than pushing me further away as it had done with so many friendships before him.
Time had gotten away on us. We had so easily spent the better part of the day reminiscing about my childhood. Laughing and joking together as the hours passed by without our knowledge. Edward was the one to alert us to the evening creeping closer.
"It's getting pretty late, we should tidy this up and think about dinner."
"Wow, I didn't realise the time. I could so easily spend forever with you." My words came out before I had filtered them in my head. Slightly awkwardly I smiled at him as he returned my smile and carried on piling the albums back in their boxes as if what I'd said didn't phase him in the slightest.
When the boxes were returned to their resting place in the attic Edward broke the silence that had fallen between us. "Why don't we get cleaned up and head out for dinner? I'm sure you have somewhere you're dying to take me."
Once again, I must have become lost in my thoughts. Edward was standing close to me, bending slightly so his eyes met my stare and he called my name a few times.
"Whitney, Whitney. Earth to Whitney."
I blinked rapidly and furrowed my brows at him. "What?" I snapped at him.
He looked surprised at the harshness of my voice. "Why do you do that?"
"What do you mean?" I enquired.
"You stare off into space and get lost in your own alternate universe."
"I'm just thinking. Pondering things. I'm sure I'm not the only one that does it."
"The only one I know." Edward shrugged and watched for my reaction.
"I like to think things through before I answer, or speak." I was beginning to get defensive of my quirk.
"Whitney, you don't need to filter what you say around me. I'm not bothered, actually I prefer to hear the first thing that comes to your mind. I want the unscripted version of you." His hand rested on my shoulder and a reassuring smile crept across his lips.
"I'm not used to turning my 'filter' off. It'll happen when I'm around you, eventually. Just give it time."
"I'll happily wait. Now, how about I take you out to dinner? You'll need to choose where we go though. Me being a tourist and all."
"Do we really need to go out? What's wrong with staying here?" I whined, I didn't want to venture out but I had no excuse or reason to stay in like I had this morning.
He looked confused again. "There is nothing wrong with staying here, I just want to take you out to dinner. You can show me more of the city too if you'd like, some of your favourite spots."
"There isn't much left to show really." I lied hoping he'd buy it and agree to have dinner here, at my place. "Besides, it's Saturday night. The city will be filled with drunk teenagers hyped off cheap wine their bodies can't handle."
"Then the suburbs? Come on Whitney, there must be somewhere you want to go."
"Nope, nowhere." Another lie. I could sense his frustration but I'd rather that than offend him with the truth.
"What's going on Whitney? You've changed," he paused thinking quickly, attempting to decipher what had shifted. "If you want me to leave then please say so and I can go. I think I may have overstayed my welcome." Edward turned to head into the guest room to gather his things before I reached out to stop him, grabbing onto his arm tightly.
"No. Don't go. Please don't go." I pleaded sounding much more desperate than I had meant to.
"Then what is it Whitney?" he shrugged. "Do you not want to be seen with me? Is that it?" I looked at him in shock, letting go of his arm with lightening speed. "Am I too old, will I cramp your style or something?"
I stayed silent, not knowing what to say to him. My eyes shifted to the ground and I turned away from him, hoping he wouldn't see the sad look on my face.
"I'm right aren't I?" he waited for a reply that wasn't coming. "You don't want to be seen with me? Right?" Had it been anyone else in this situation, anyone else but Edward, I would want them to get mad and be angry with me. Their anger and my lack of engagement always fueled their desire to leave, walk away and forget about me. My instinct to push them away instead of facing the truth would kick in and I'd move on, like I always did.
But it was Edward standing behind me, waiting for a response. Now, I'm not afraid of the the truth, I'm ashamed of it. My intention is not to hurt him or offend him, yet I can't see a way around that. Pushing him away is not what I want to do. I have no desire to try and make him leave, but for him to stick by me and help me through. Guide me and show me what to do.
Swallowing my pride and stepping into the unknown, I turn to face Edward, my eyes still glued to the ground, too ashamed to look him in the eye. "Edward, I'm sorry," I mumbled out.
"No," he reached his hand out placing his fingers under my chin, pulling my face upwards till our eyes met. "When you apologise, mean it, look me in the eye and say it." He held my gaze and I could feel my cheeks blushing as he continued his steady stare.
"I'm sorry Edward, I don't want to offend you." I confessed sincerely.
I had promised him the truth, that I'd never lie to or deceive him. I had already fibbed and now I was close to doing it again. How could I expect those things in return if I'm not willing to do the same for him.
"Then don't. Be honest Whit. I will never be offended if what you tell me is the truth."
I couldn't help the smile that crept its way up my face. My gaze stayed glued to Edwards as he searched my face, trying to understand what I was smiling for.
"You called me Whit," I beamed.
"We're having a moment, and all you heard was me calling you Whit?" he shook his head at me while I giggled at him saying it again.
"You've never called me that before," I continued smiling. "Only my friends call me that."
"That's what we are, aren't we?" My smile only deepened as I nodded in agreeance.
"And, I'm sorry I lied to you," my smile faded as I opened up. "I need to talk to you about somethings, can we sit down?" I gestured to the lounge and he nodded and made his way through to the couch.
"This sounds serious. You used the we need to talk line."
"Well, I need to talk yes. I need to be honest and come clean about something." I sat down next to Edward as he relaxed back into the couch.
"Go for it, I'm all ears."
"Like I said, I don't want to offend you, at all." I reiterated.
"And like I said, you won't offend me, if you tell the truth." he mocked.
"Right, well here goes," I took a deep breath before continuing. "You hit the nail on the head when you asked if I didn't want to be seen with you. I don't want to be seen out with you. And not because you're too old, we're practically the same age. I hate that this is an issue for me because I'm scared. I don't want to lose you so soon after we've found each other." I played with my hands in my lap nervously, worried of how this would all go and how Edward would react.
"Your life is so highly publicised. Everything you do seems to be raked over with a fine tooth comb by the media. It's unfair how deep they dig, I hate it. I despise it. Then, in turn, anyone you're associated with also seems to become a target. People want to know every minute detail about them and the media give it to them. They go to great lengths to get information the public don't even realise they want to know." I shook my head recounting Diana Windsor and the impact the media had on her life and subsequent death.
"I'm fiercely private. I don't share myself with just anyone. I don't want my life to be catalogued for the world to see. I don't want to be defined by who I know. I'm not Edward Harvey's friend. I'm Whitney Bennett and I'm terrified of what being associated with you will cause. I don't ever want to lose my identity and who I am."
"That sounds so terrible and harsh, I understand, but it's the truth. I want you and I to be friends, great friends, I just can't do that with the world knowing." I took another deep breath as Edward stood and began pacing the living room. His fists balled and clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. I stayed quiet, worried about what was coming next.
He took a few moments to compose himself and turned to face me while standing on the opposite side of the room.
"Whitney, I need you to understand, to try and understand, that I am not the man the media makes me out to be." I nodded, unsure of what to say to him.
He sat back down on the couch, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together as his chin rested on top. "Please try and understand that I did not choose this life, I was born into it. My parents have always tried to shield me from the worst of the media but with such high profiles themselves, it hasn't been without difficulty and their attempts haven't always been successful. I'm eternally grateful for everything I have, for everything my parents have built and achieved to be able to provide for me. Sadly though, I don't get to live this life without paying an unaffordable price and that is my privacy." Edward shifted uncomfortably on the couch, he stood abruptly before sitting back down again, looking agitated and frustrated.
"For so long, I've wanted someone like you in my life Whitney. Someone that understands me like no one else can. Someone I can share all of me with, no secrets, facades or masks. Just me, the real me," he looked over to me and I could see his eyes were now glassy, tears threatening to escape.
"I can't make you be my friend Whit. But I will make damned sure that I do everything humanly possibly to make you want to be. I can't lose you," his voice cracked slightly, I couldn't help but feel his pain. "I will find a way Whitney, I promise you. I will not let them take you away from me. They won't ruin this for me."
I reached for his hand to squeeze and reassure him but he took my wrist and pulled me abruptly into a hug. He held me tight, "I can't lose you Whit," he stated quietly. We stayed like this for a long time before Edward pulled away swiftly.
Holding his pointer finger in the air he mischievously smirked, "I have an idea."
"Here we go, this can't be good," I rolled my eyes skeptically.
"Bear with me, it sounds perfect in my head but you need to tell me if it sounds ridiculous."
"If you have to ask me if it sounds ridiculous then it must be crazy."
"Don't be so skeptical."
"Fine, what is this brilliant idea of yours?" I tapped my fingers on the table mimicking a drumroll.
"What if we don't tell anyone about us?"
"I'm sorry, I don't quite follow?" I shook my head lightly, confused.
"Well, hear me out. You say you can't be friends with me if the world knows," I nodded in response, still not catching onto where he was going with this. "And honestly, most things I do, the whole world hears about, except one thing."
Like a light bulb switching on in a dark room I now understood what he was talking about, "Your art. The one thing you manage to remain anonymous with."
"Ah-ha, exactly. What I'm proposing, is that we remain friends, in secret." He seemed chuffed with himself and his brilliant plan.
"And how are we going to manage that?" Still skeptical, I wanted to hear the rest of his master plan before agreeing to put myself in a position I might not be able to back away from.
To many woman, my hesitance to be associated with one of the most sought after men in the world would seem crazy. Why would I deny myself the opportunity to be seen with him? Some would give their donatable organs to spend time with Edward, to get close to him. Like he'd told me earlier, people go to extreme lengths to have just a fraction of the time I'd had with him. Business people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for Edward to attend their events and not to speak or present anything, just to be there.
My reasons are selfish. I value my own privacy and anonymity. Having spent so much of my life closed off from the people around me, I want to protect myself from inquisition at the hands of complete strangers. Being known to the world by association would mean losing my sense of self and identity. No longer would I be seen as Whitney Bennett, daughter of Ian and Alison, photographer, legal executive, strong and determined woman. My 'title' would change and I would be viewed and regarded as Whitney, acquaintance of Edward Harvey and for sometime I'd most probably also be labelled his girlfriend by those too lazy to do their research. I envisage death threats, hate mail, aggressive tweets and keyboard warriors attacking the blog I'd become immensely proud of. I wanted no part of his world, I just want him and I, best friends.
"We need to decide on this together Whit. I'm not going to force you into anything. I want you to be comfortable with having me as part of your life. If I could, I'd shout from the rooftops that I have the exclusive privilege of calling you, my friend. But, I know that isn't want you want and I will do whatever you need me to." he held my hand in his in an attempt to comfort me and ease my mind. It worked and I thought about his proposition and what I needed.
"After our business partnership is announced, we'll be linked professionally and I'm happy with that. We can't avoid being seen together when you're here on business, that's just inevitable. But," I paused for a few moments, gathering my thoughts. "There is nothing stopping us from meeting in private, like here, at my house, when you're in the country."
"That sounds reasonable. What about the people we do tell about you and I? I expect that you'll tell Finn and is there anyone else that you'd like to let into our secret circle?" I giggled at his mention of a secret circle.
"Finn is the only one. He'll be so pissed that he didn't get to meet you, he's a big fan." We both laughed before my nerves got the better of me and I couldn't help asking, "Is there anyone that you're going to tell about us?"
"There are people I can't avoid explaining this situation to. Benjamin being one of them and the other members of my personal security team. It's more for my safety and when I'm around you, it'll be for yours too. My personal assistant, Evelyn, or Evie as I call her will be another and Constance, my house mother is one too. I'd love to introduce you to my family one day, my mother is dying to meet you." as if sensing my insecurity, he took my hand in his again and rubbed over my knuckles with his thumb.
"I know it feels like a lot of people Whit but they're the people I trust the most. If it eases your mind, they all have NDA's that I wrote myself. In all the years I've been handling my own affairs, I've not once had anyone try and break theirs. I will keep you safe Whitney," he assured me.
I'd written plenty of Non Disclosure Agreements in my time at Hardman and I know how intricate and complex they can be. Most of the time, it wasn't worth the legal battle to even attempt to go against one. They are designed to keep people quiet and secrets safe and that is exactly what I need.
"Alright, if you trust them, then I do too." Edward pulled me into a hug and smiled widely at me.
"This is better than Christmas!" his face fell suddenly as if he'd remembered something important. "You do know that we won't be able to spend much time together Whit?" I nodded, well aware of the downside of a secret friendship. "We can keep in touch in others ways though. We can txt, Skype, email and I'll call you whenever I can. I promise I will speak with you in some form everyday. I want you to know that even when I can't be here to hang out with you or spend time with you physically, I'll be here for you whenever you need, I'm just a call or a message away."
"You sure you won't get sick of me?" I teased.
"Of course I'd never get sick of you. Why? Will you get sick of me?" He pretended to be offended.
"Probably," I joked and he lightly punched my shoulder before laughing genuinely.
"You'll have to visit me one day though," he put his finger to his lips shushing quietly, "in secret." I shook my head at his playfulness. "I can show you all of my favourite places and take you to our holiday home in-"
"Woah, woah, woah tiger. Slow down. Let's just take baby steps and tackle the mountains after the mole hill's been conquered." I felt bad bursting his bubble but all of the things he was mentioning, I'm simply not ready for.
"Too fast?" I nodded shyly. "Baby steps, right."
"Gotta crawl before you walk, my friend."
"Then how does pizza, wine and chill sound?"
"Edward Harvey, you read my mind."