Fight for You

| Five |

2010 

Sleep wasn't the easiest of tasks tonight. I was no insomniac but my mind was working overtime after the message I had received from Muse-Less.

The words in the message weren't really that striking. To anyone else, I felt they wouldn't mean much at all. To me though, they made me nervous.

I was always hiding from others. There were parts of me that I had reserved and kept safe in my own mind. Things about me, the way I felt, thought and dreamed. I didn't want to share all of me with just anyone.

The thought of someone seeing the real me had my nerves running in hyper-drive.

Throughout my life, I had hidden so much of my true self away. Fearful of not being accepted for who I really am. I felt that I was complicated. My mind is complex and I thought no one would be able to understand me and therefore wouldn't accept me.

Finn knew me, all of me. He taught me, through his own love and acceptance of me, to love and respect myself. To be the real me. For such a long time he had admired me from afar. Feeling he was never good enough for me, that he didn't fit in with me, my life, my crowd. When everyone else faded away Finn was there. Somehow he managed to win me over and we spent more and more time together. He had slowly broken down the walls I had worked so hard to build. Finn saw me. Finn loved me.

"I finally see you. Really see you."

I couldn't decipher if Muse-Less was just using the words as a figure of speech or if they truthfully saw through my facade.

In my heart, I wanted to open up and confess EVERYTHING. There was something about not seeing someone and never having to face them, hiding behind a screen, that made opening up about myself so easy. It was easy to censor replies and think before I 'spoke'.

What if I know this person in real life?

I decided that grateful and cheerful would be my approach.

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Hi Muse-Less,
I really appreciate your comments. You've been such an avid supporter of mine right from the very first post.
It means so much to me that you think I'm talented and you are proud of me.
I don't think I understand what you mean when you say "I finally see you. Really see you.".

I haven't posted pictures of myself before as I wanted to avoid giving readers an idea of what I look like. I wanted to be whoever they wanted me to be and for them to imagine me as anyone.
Thank you for your continued support.
Whitney.
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I didn't expect a reply and was surprised when my inbox chimed noting a reply a few minutes later.

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Whitney,
You are a true talent. I wish you would give yourself more credit. You have an extremely rare empathic gift. Believe in yourself.
Muse-Less
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Butterflies. Praise from a complete stranger had given me butterflies.

There had been many times I had been told how 'good' I am. I had heard how beautiful my work is and people had praised me but their kind words had never made me feel this way. I was proud.

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Muse-Less,
I don't know what to say or how to thank you.
Whitney.
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You don't need to thank me. Just accept the praise you deserve.
...And maybe check out my work? Cheeky, I know, but I'd love to know what you think.
Muse-Less
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