2011
I had nearly lost Edward in a crowd of Hare Krishna followers. He freaked the fuck out and had a panic attack in the middle of the strip mall.
Everything had taken a turn for the worst and I was messing this whole thing up. Alex would never forgive me if this deal went south because of my stupidity and crazy ideas. I had no idea Edward would react like that. One minute I was laughing, singing, joining in the happiness that was surrounding us. The next, Edward was frozen on the spot, head down, getting lost within his own mind.
How could I have been so stupid? All I was trusted to do was show him around the city, go to dinner and schmooze a bit.
And what the bloody hell had I said to him? Come back to me? It's just you and me? Oh my God! What a total whacko! He probably thinks I'm some crazy psycho woman. He wouldn't be far from the truth because that is exactly what I must have sounded like. Oh Lord! I put my hands on his face and pulled him in close like I was going to suck his face off. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can the earth please open up and swallow me right now, please?
"Please forgive me. I never meant for any of that to happen." I kept my head down, hoping Edward wouldn't notice the look of guilt and nerves on my face.
"There is nothing to forgive. Let's carry on, shall we? You said there is still much of the city for me to see." he reached over and tapped my knee a few times before retreating back to his side of the car.
Edward brushed the whole episode off as if he hadn't just fallen apart in the middle of a Hare Krishna mob. How could he be so calm after all of that? I had kept my composure on the outside. There was no way on earth that I would let him see how guilty I really felt. If he could so easily move past it then I would follow his lead and outwardly put it behind me.
"Well, now I know to avoid crowds and spontaneous herds of Hare Krishna's." Edward let out a rather loud belly laugh accompanied by a smile that reached his eyes, and strangely it helped to slightly ease the storm I was waging inside.
"Okay, I think I know the perfect spot. How are you with heights?" I quizzed Edward with an excited smile.
"Erm, fine I suppose. As long as I'm not expected to jump off anything." He sounded a bit nervous till I laughed and shook my head.
"You're in no way dressed for anything like that. Unless you want to jump off the side of a building? Because we have that there if you're into that kind of thing?" Edward shook his head. "Thank goodness, cause I'm wearing a dress! The place I have in mind is spectacular, I think you might enjoy it. This is the best time of day to visit too." I leant forward to type the destination into the car navigation system for Benjamin to follow and sat back into my seat. I gave Edward a reassuring smile.
"When you're ready Benjamin. I really hope you enjoy yourself, Edward."
In an attempt to avoid any further awkward exchanges, I turned my head to look out the window and watch the city go by as we headed off to the next destination.
********************
The car wound its way up through the narrow hilly suburbs, Benjamin having to give way to other cars often as the thin stretch of roads could barely fit one car through. I was beginning to get excited about our destination. It had been months since I had time to make it up there. There was something about the air up here that created peace and tranquillity, calm on a still day. As we came closer to the lookout I leant forward to give Benjamin instructions to park in the less crowded area and we could walk to the lookout. I climbed out more eagerly than intended, sneakily slipping my camera into the pocket of my jacket.
"Welcome to the City Lookout!" I made a feeble attempt to contain my joy as I opened the door for Edward, ushering him out of the car. "What do you think?"
"It's a bit windy," he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled slightly.
"Meh, you get used to it. Come this way, you've got to see what it's like from the viewing platform."
We walked side by side down the short driveway like path before I picked up my pace to climb the steps to the lookout area. I paid no mind to the canon ornament and bench seat placed off to the side of a landing and carried on to the top. I turned back once I reached the last step to see Benjamin and Edward dordling up the steps and taking in the surroundings. While I waited for them I took a seat on one of the benches around the circular platform to wait patiently and admire the view of the stunning city.
"Wow, this place is amazing." Edwards English accent roused me from a daydream and he sat next to me on the bench. My previous excitement had quietened and I was feeling more at ease than earlier. The atmosphere of the lookout helping to calm and reset me.
"It's like a three six tay degree view. How stunning." I let out a giggle at how thick is accent seemed.
" It's beautiful up here, isn't it? You can see the whole city, right up there through to the north," I pointed in the direction of the northern suburbs, "and on a clear day, you can see the snow on the northernmost points of the South Island." I gestured southward and stood up from the bench to turn and look.
"What are all these plaques around the outside?" Edward nodded to the information boards placed around the lookout.
"Oh, they're mostly a history of the city, settlers, distances to some major world cities. There are a few over there about the local legends of how the harbour and the hills were formed. Go and take a look if you like."
"Do you know the legends?" I nodded, of course I know them, I've read them so many times I know the stories by heart. "I'd much rather hear you tell them to me." Edward kept his eyes focused on the view in front of him.
"I've read them more times than I care to admit. I come up here quite often." I blushed slightly at my admission. The lookout was a hot spot for photographers to capture some beautiful shots, many of them winning awards. I came here for both the artistic value and the mental clarity it provided.
"It isn't difficult to see why. This is truly a wonderful spot. You're very lucky to have somewhere like this." his expression was unchanged. A little history couldn't be any worse than giving the man a panic attack, could it?
"Well, the legend tells of two Taniwha, or giant fish, our version of a Loch Ness monster I guess, that lived in the lake that was formed when the earth rose from the sea. Their names were Ngake and Whataitai and they were like chalk and cheese. Ngake was boisterous, energetic and lively while Whataitai was laid back, quiet, a dreamer. One day while they were playing by the south side of the lake, they could hear the waves on the shore and the ocean beyond the cliffs of the lake. They asked the birds to tell them what was beyond the confines to the lake and the birds told them "The sea is deep, it's vast, it's wide, it's where many different fishes hide."." I looked over to Edward and he resembled a school child entranced by the teacher's story telling.
"As the years went by, the Taniwah grew bigger and Ngake was adamant he had outgrown the lake. He hatched a plan to break free from the lake that imprisoned them and Whataitai agreed. Ngake went to the north end of the lake and with his tail pushed off and hurled himself at the southern cliff face crashing on top of it and crumbling the rocks to the water and he was free. Whataitai wasn't as strong and while he tried to break free as Ngake had, he became stranded between the ocean and the lake. He could do nothing but remain in the divide and accept his fate of being stranded. When an earthquake rocked the land many years later, Whataitai erupted up above the water and he rose toward the sky. Over time, Whataitai's body turned to stone and formed what is now known as the suburb of Hataitai. The impact from Ngake's tail when he pushed off to escape the lake created a valley and a river that is now called TeAwakairangi. The remnants of the rock smash from Ngake are still around today and they're over there, Barrett's Reef and Steeple Rock, I'm not sure of their native names though." a few people seemed to have milled close by and eavesdropped on my depiction of the history and Edward remained entranced by my words.
"The ferry that travels between the islands comes in through the mouth just there. I pointed out the harbour entrance, "and then turns at the heads there before travelling north-west and then crossing the strait."
Edward got up and made his way over to the edge of the lookout platform. He leant against the railing and turned his head up toward the sky. The light hit him perfectly. His dark curls shone in the late afternoon light and his skin glowed as it hit his nose and cheeks delicately. I quickly whipped my camera out to capture the moment before he moved and it would be lost forever. Thankfully it didn't take much to start up and I managed to shoot him a few times.
"Does he know you're taking those?" Benjamin's voice over my shoulder scared me and I jumped out of my skin.
"Shit! You scared me to death Benjamin," I turned to face him putting the camera away in my pocket. "No, he doesn't. And he won't find out will he?" I glared at him awaiting a response.
"Not from me he won't." he didn't say it to imply my secret was safe, it felt more like he was instructing me to come clean to Edward.
I made my way over to where Edward was standing, gazing out at the city below and turned my back to face the view. I watched Edward's face for a few minutes in silence as he continued to look out. He let out a few sighs and gripped the railing. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind but the look on his face made me think he had the weight of the world still on his shoulders.
"Why do you come up here so often Whitney? It seems if you've seen this place once, you don't really need to see it again?" his words caught me off guard and I was slightly offended.
"Maybe the beauty of the city is lost on some people. Each to their own." I was being defensive and attempting to shut his scepticism down.
"What do you do when you're up here?"
"I take pictures, watch the people come and go. A whole lot of nothing really. Just sit and reflect, clear my mind." I instantly regretted admitting that, not wanting him to think I'm strange and that I waste too much time here doing nothing.
"Hmm," he continued to stare out over the city. "I don't think that's strange Whitney."
"Excuse me?" Had I said that out loud?
"I saw you cringe telling me why you come here. You shouldn't be ashamed of having somewhere you can unwind like that. Like I said earlier, this is a wonderful spot. I wish I could spend longer here. Or come here more often."
Edward's words made me feel sorry for him. I felt as if he was saddened that he had to leave. Something was definitely on his mind and I wished he could have found the same clarity as I do coming here.
I put my hand gently on his shoulder and gave a reassuring smile, "Maybe now you have more business to handle here you can visit when you come back."
"Yes, I can can't I," Edward returned my smile, "We have reservations. Shall we get going?"
"Oh, yes we should." Edward motioned for Benjamin to follow us back down the stairs and to the car.
My nerves had picked up and my palms were starting to sweat already. Origin is an amazing restaurant. The food is always amazing. Origin is the kind of restaurant that I'm sure Edward was rather familiar with. It's the type of restaurant that has every size fork and you are supposed to know which course requires which fork, something I wasn't so familiar with. I was all for fine dining but when you needed to take a special class to learn the correct fork to use it seemed a bit over the top to me.
As we arrived back at the car Edward opened the door for me before making his way around to get into the other side. When I moved forward to put the restaurant address into the navigation system there was a quiet thud as something hit the floor. I paid little attention to it and carried on fiddling with the navigation. As I sat back in my seat I saw Edward holding something in his hands that resembled a camera. My camera.
"You hid this pretty well Whitney." Edward's eyebrows raised in question.
"I-I uh, well, it was, just." I couldn't find the words.
"What were you doing with this in your pocket?" he turned the camera on and scrolled through the pictures I had taken. There wasn't anything I could say nor could I deny taking photos of him earlier so I simply sunk down in my seat in shame.
"Do you often take pictures of people without their knowledge?"
"No."
"Are you embarrassed Whitney?"
"Yes."
"Why? These are exquisite," What did he just say?
"Pardon?" Was I hearing him correctly? I had just taken a bunch of photos of him without his knowledge and he was praising me.
"You are very talented Whitney Bennett. You should be proud. Own it, with a bit more conviction. And just ask next time, yeah?" Edward handed the camera back to me and I studied the pictures. They really were exquisite. He looked so peaceful.
"Thank you," is all I could manage and I went back to staring out the window to avoid any awkward conversation.
Pronunciation of the TeReo names:
Taniwha = Ton-e-far
Ngake = Nah-key
Whataitai = Why-tie-tie or Far-tie-tie
TeAwakairangi = Tea-ah-wa-kai-rung-e