Playlist: Love and war-Fleurie (all the lyrics hold a meaning in this story, I don't just choose any song, focus on the lyrics. Well, as well as the story of course 😂💜)
Justin's P.O.V
Guilt was eating me up inside, after leaving her spend the night alone while I was out spending it with someone else. And even though I didn't have that much choice but to comply with whatever Sienna wanted, but it was all for the desperation of not losing the one I really love.
So I decided I'd make it up to her, having a secret deal with Sienna didn't mean that I had to act distant. But it was the guilt eating at my insides that drove me to act distant. I couldn't hold her, kiss her or simply look into her eyes without feeling guilty.
Without seeing all the pain I was causing her...
It could've been minutes or even hours of me walking around and watching the different types of flowers. Searching for her favourite rose. It was simple, delicate and tender, just like her. It's colour as enchanting as her.
She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her...I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little stratagems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her...
I'm reminded with a quote I once read before, a quote that I couldn't forget from how true it was. It was a simple quote that described the war of feelings inside of me.
"Can I help you, dear?"
I was daydreaming by now, standing infront of the sunflowers as it reminded me of how much of a sunshine she is in my life. An unfamiliar voice snaps me out of my daze though, wiping the beautiful image of a brunette with emerald shinning eyes from before me.
I blink as I look up and settle my gaze on the petite old woman standing beside me. She had a warm smile, one that grandmas wear and soothe away one child's pain.
"I was looking for red roses, I can't seem to find it though..." I trailed off.
"It's this way"
She turned around and started walking in the opposite direction of where I've been searching. I followed after her, assuming that the owner of the flowers shop ought to know where exactly the roses I wanted were.
"Do you love her?"
I'm taken aback by her question and left speechless. Not really registering her question let alone able to utter any coherent words.
"Unless it's your mother's birthday and you're a really sweet son, then I'm assuming it's for someone...special "
She turned to me with that same soft smile still gracing her face. The mention of my mother leaves a pang in my heart. Reminding me of the past that still haunted the both of us. And reminding me of how I've been so busy lately to even pick up the phone and check up on her.
But with dealing with Sienna's drama and commands along with the guilt of hurting the one woman I truly loved, I felt stressed as it is. And even though it was no excuse not having the energy or time to, I still needed to check up on the woman that loved me unconditionally and wanted nothing in return.
She was through enough as it is. And it all reminded me of how much I've really changed. How far away I've drifted from the man I promised my mother to be.
"Yeah, they're for someone special"
I finally say, realising that I was just staring at the woman and she was probably either starting to get worried or creeped out. I offer a small smile to ease whatever worries she had concerning me.
"Do you want to write her something?"
Having chosen the red roses and went to wrap them up for me in a bouquet, she asks if I needed a card from behind the counter. Nodding, she pulls out a small card from a drawer and pushes it forward in my direction.
Staring down at the blank card, I think deeply of what I was to write to her. It was something that should be sweet yet short. Something to somehow tell her how I'm feeling without actually having to say it.
' As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one around...
J- '
"Who's the lucky girl?"
The woman takes the card and puts it neatly between the red roses.
"Nevaeh...and I'm the lucky one "
It was a quote that held a special place in my heart as I hoped it did to hers. For it was the first quote I've ever attached to a bouquet of roses to her...
I pay for the roses before leaving, looking down at the bouquet one last time before pushing open the door and walking out. Who knew buying a bouquet of roses would take so much time?
But the longer the time it took, the more important of a place it held.
Standing on the sidewalk, outside the flowers shop, I contemplate how I should send her the roses. Do I wait till she's back home and give them to her or go straight to her workplace and surprise her.
But after leaving her like that and knowing that she probably cried herself to sleep, I felt ashamed to think that roses could help mend any wounds. It hasn't been long since the last incident and I wasn't sure what exactly I should do to make things better.
"Aww, are those roses for me?"
And it was the last person I needed to see let alone hear their voice, that decided now was perfect timing to show up. Maybe fate just hated me. But if I was sure of one thing, it was that I knew she hated me.
Sienna.
.
"What do you want?"
I spat, my teeth gritting just at the voice of her. It was when she didn't reply that I finally turned around to face her. She was wearing a skin tight black dress that reached just above her knees. Black pair of heels that made her look taller than she really was. Her jet black hair straight and reaching down to her waist.
It was an image of the girl I once was hopelessly in love with. Now it was just an image I despised, because it reminded me of how much of a fool I really was. I was just fooled by her beauty and her 'innocent' act. While all along she was just playing me.
"Now that's no way to speak to the love of your life, Jay Jay"
She feigned innocence, pouting her lips mockingly with a slight tilt of her head. I was sure that if looks could kill, she would be six feet under right now. The amount of loath I had for her was just unimaginable.
It's funny how you could easily hate someone you once loved dearly. But she was never an angel, she was just my worst nightmare in disguise.
So I smiled mockingly back at her, loving the fact that she no longer had any control whatsoever over my heart. She no longer had that kind of effect on me. And I was going to make sure she knew that.
"I can't see Nevaeh anywhere near here, so I'm not really sure what you're talking about"
Her face fell, the smugness disappearing, making my own smirk appear across my face. But that was for mere seconds, because as always she was quick to gain back her composure and pretend like I didn't affect her for even the slightest bit.
To her I was just a waste of time. A means to an end.
"We need to talk. Now"
She wasn't leaving me any room for argument, I rarely saw her this serious, she always preferred getting on my nerves. She walked past me, confident that I'd follow her. Looking down at the roses, I can already see a tear rolling down a smooth cheek. But it wasn't my cheek.
Letting out a pained sigh, I kneel down and place the bouquet down infront of the flowers shop. Maybe I wasn't meant to ever get rid of the guilt and pain piling up on my chest.
So turning away from the beautiful roses, I follow behind Sienna. The fragrance of the red roses still lingering and breaking my heart with every breath I took.
*
"You wanted to talk, so talk"
We were in some fancy restaurant, which I wasn't very dressed for but I didn't really care what people thought of my very casual outfit.
What was getting on my nerves though, was the fact that Sienna went silent the second we sat at our table. Which she had reserved beforehand by the way.
I could be somewhere else, with someone else, but instead I was stuck here for whatever reason Sienna deemed important.
"You don't need to be rude, you know"
She said, taking a sip from her glass of water while refusing to make eye contact. I was probably wearing a blank expression by now. If she thinks she can hold me here for as long as she pleased, then she had another thing coming.
"There's a difference between being rude and blunt, Hill" I deadpanned.
"Fine, I'll get straight to the point. My parents are back and they wanted to have a dinner with the two of us. You know since they haven't seen us in too long"
She said simply with a slight one shouldered shrug. I, on the other hand, clenched my jaw, feeling beyond annoyed already. But before I could even say anything, they arrived. I knew it before I saw them really. The quick change in her expression and body language gave it away.
I watched as her eyes widened slightly, but was quick to regain her calm composure. Standing up to greet her parents. I let out a deep sigh before plastering a fake smile to match hers and stand up to greet them as well.
I hated them. At least that was one thing both me and Sienna had in common. For different reasons of course. Mine were that they were part of the reason I found myself in a deal I never wanted to begin with.
Mr Hill was a tall, broad man, one that was feared not only from his strong connections, but also intimidating appearance. His wife was the complete opposite, she was a petite woman, that Sienna happened to be just the spitting image of.
You could simply say that the Hill family was a powerful and an influential family in the business world. And if they were to ever find out about the deal between me and their daughter, hell would simply break out on earth.
*
Our orders arrived, cutting the small conversations we had going around the table short. Sienna excused herself and went to the bathroom. Moments after she left, Mr Hill had an important phone call and left as well to take it outside. Which left me and Sienna's mother alone.
"So...how is your studies going? It's your last year, things must be hectic"
Cutting through her steak, she delicately ate her small piece of meat while waiting for my response. Swallowing down the sip of wine I took, I turn to face her.
"They are getting hectic, but it's nothing I can't handle"
It was part of the deal, I always needed to impress her parents. They weren't to think under any circumstances that their daughter was dating some delinquent of any sort.
To them I was the golden boy they wouldn't mind one day marrying their daughter. But here was the thing, I didn't care about their opinion nor did I care about their precious daughter.
"I hope Sienna isn't being difficult, you must also focus on your studies..."
She lifts her own glass up to take a small sip from her red wine. Watching me with calculating eyes from under her thick lashes.
"She's not, but sometimes with everything going on in college, it gets hard"
I hoped it was a good enough answer, one that she wanted to hear.
"But like you said, it's nothing you can't handle... right? "
"Of course"
I managed to say with a tight smile. Sienna came back and it was probably the first time in so long that I appreciated her presence.
"Where's dad?"
*
I was finally released and free to go. Well, after dropping Sienna off at her house, I'd be that is. Her parents were only here in Boston for business and soon would be off for yet another business trip. Both her parents worked together, they were the owners of the Hill Enterprise.
I used to feel bad for Sienna having to basically raise herself up and live all alone in a big house, now I just simply didn't care. After all the shit she had put me through, I'm not really heartless to not care anymore.
She asked me to drop her off, seeing that her parents were quickly in their limo after dinner and heading off to the airport. Turns out they just came back today for some business and decided to check up on their daughter on the way.
I didn't really want to drop her off, she could've taken a cab or called an uber for all I care. But she was already settled inside my car before I could even argue against the idea. It was an eventful day and I was just tired of arguing with her, it had proven time and time again to be pointless anyways.
The car ride was silent, only the music playing through the radio filling the awkwardness in the air. I was thankful that we arrived at her house soon. Driving past the huge gates, I bring the car to a stop infront of her big brown doors.
I waited for her to get out, tightening my grip on the wheel when she didn't. I was growing annoyed by the second. I just wanted to go see Nevaeh already, but of course that was too much to ask.
I could see her shake her head slightly in my peripheral vision. Letting out a sigh, she grabs her purse and reaches for the door handle.
"I'm sorry..."
She was out before I could even say anything or question her on what she just said. Leaving me in confusion with her words hanging in the air.
But I didn't dwell much on the subject, because as soon as I heard her door slam shut, I was speeding down the driveway and out her gated house.
I never thought seeing a building would bring such relief, but seeing the familiar apartment building come into my vision, pushed away all worries and exhaustion from the day.
It was already nighttime, proving how much time I've spent with Sienna and her parents. And also how much time I spent away from the woman that held my heart.
So parking my car and locking it, I waste no time in walking inside and taking the elevator up to the fifth floor. I rush out of the elevator, my steps quick as I make my way towards our door's apartment.
In life, in love, this time I can't afford to lose.
Moments later after knocking, the door flies open, only to reveal someone else. I frown alittle in disappointment, having been hoping that after a long day Nevaeh would've been the one to open the door.
"Tyler?"
He steps aside to let me walk in. Walking straight into the kitchen, I hear his footsteps behind me, indicating that he was following me.
"Where were you all day? We've all been calling you..."
I heard him trail off, I open the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. Turning around to face him, I unscrew the cap and start taking huge gulps out of it.
"I was at the library studying alittle..."
I offered with a little shrug. Tyler was my best friend for practically my whole life. I can't remember a time I didn't know him. But like everyone else I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. He was like a brother and his opinion has always mattered alot to me.
So seeing any look of disappointment in his eyes was the last thing I ever wanted to see. It was my second worst fear after losing Nevaeh.
For one, for all, I'll do what I have to do.
He was always too good, the golden boy with morals higher than anyone I've ever known. And sometimes it really just got annoying how much work I had to do to even come close to his morals. If he was ever to find out about the deal, he'd probably be so disgusted to even look at me.
But because of all that was he the only person I really looked up to. And he was to never hear me say that aloud. It'd just feed his ego.
"On a Friday night?" He arched an eyebrow, giving me an unsure look.
"Exams are coming up, I need to study hard for them" I said with a casual shrug, hoping he wouldn't be able to see through my lie.
It fell silent after that, I could feel his heated gaze as I continued gulping down the rest of the water. Finishing it, I throw away the bottle.
"We all decided we'd go out tonight" I heard him say, still standing by the doorway of the kitchen.
"We?" I ask, turning around to face him.
"Matt is in the living room watching some movie while the girls get ready" he shrugged slightly.
"I'll go check up on Nevaeh..."
He gives me a smirk before turning around and disappearing from the kitchen. It was times like these that I had the hope that I didn't completely lose the respect of my best friend. I mean he was supposed to always have my back, right? At the end of the day, I was his best friend after all.
Making my way past the living room, I could hear the voices of Tyler and Matt talking, but I was heading somewhere else. Knocking lightly on the closed door, it opens a few moments later, yet again not revealing my green eyed beauty.
"Oh, Justin, we're almost ready to leave"
Peyton gives me a small smile, opening the door wider and stepping aside for me to enter. The two girls excuse themselves and I'm finally left alone with the one person I've missed alot.
"Hey..."
She whispered with a beautiful smile lightening up her whole face. A simple smile that was capable of easing all my pain and worries away.
Walking to where she was sat, I place my hands down on her shoulders, massaging them lightly. She sighs lightly, fluttering her eyes closed for a few moments.
Something was quick to grab my attention though. It was bright and not easy to miss. Sitting on her vintage dresser was a vase filled with beautiful red roses. The same ones I remember buying for her this morning.
But how did they get here? I frown in confusion, but was snapped out of my trance when she spoke.
"I'm ready, lets go"
She placed her hands ontop of mine, smiling at me lovingly through the mirror. And I wonder if it was the roses that eased some of her pain and replaced it with that familiar shine. The shine that years ago brought me under her spell.
"Yeah...lets go"
And it was the card with the familiar handwriting, sitting beside the vase, that proved to me they were the same roses the old lady helped me pick out this morning.
But how?
I ask myself as I let her slip her small hand in mine and start dragging me out of our room.
You can't understand, it's all part of the plan.
A/N hope this was more interesting than the previous chapter. So who do you think sent Nevaeh those roses? I mean, it was Justin that bought them and wrote the card, but...
I guess you'll find out soon enough *shurgs* 🙄
By the way, I'm imagining Sienna as Tristin Mays 🔥
Bye, luvies ❤
A-