The feeling of slipping in and out of conciousness is odd. My body doesn't feel like mine. I can't lift my limbs, my brain feels foggy and woozy. It is as if I'm a stranger within my own anatomy. Yet for once it is not me at fault for my deadened state.
I'm being kept under sedation.
Everytime I awake, the needle sears my skin and another dose of morphine is forced upon me to enter the bloodstream. I can't escape. However the efforts to tranquilize me are only half-hearted; I'm trapped inside this eerie state of sciolism. Halfway from sanity, halfway from madness.
"How is she?" I hear Carlisle's voice distantly.
"She's awake now but that thing almost killed her" I hear Iron snarl. "Her shoulder is dislocated, her collar bone is broken, she has a severe concussion and her bruises are awful. She won't let me look at her anymore"
Without thinking, I attempt to lift my arms and legs but nothing hurts? I'm not awake as far as I know? Who are they talking about? Trying to refocus my brain, I listen in to their conversation.
"I will check up on her later" Carlisle says.
"Carlisle I don't know what to do. When she first awoke she kept incessantly murmuring something like 'shut it down' and now she won't even look at me" Iron says. I hear the crack within his strong walls.
They must be discussing the events of Ally's weakness simulation. One words revolves around my mind at the thought of the Dimidium:
Traitor
"We should have stopped the simulator earlier; If only we'd known"
"But she never mentioned it"
"We'll wait for Lara to wake up and then we will hear her take on the event" Carlisle replies.
I feel like screaming that I am awake but no words pass through the barriers of my lips. The morphine slows my thought process and makes my body feel heavy. My groggy sense of smell begins to awaken but I don't register any familiar smells.
"Why has she been sedated for so long?"
I wish I could throw my hands up in appreciation of Iron's question. He's right. Why have I been kept sedated for so long?
How did I even come to be in this position? I recall the Leto Rex approaching Ally while Iron slammed his fist against the screen of glass, yelling her name as I sat in silent protest. My last memory is of my silent protest as I deigned to help the traitor.
The utter lack of recollection frightens me. Did I faint...wait! I must have fainted. It is the only explanation I can think of. Yet why did I haze? Did someone upset me? I groan in frustration - if only I could remember.
"Carlisle she is awake"
I feel my fingers twitch and my eyelids begin to flutter. I draw in a breath of the life around me and the surreal normality hits me at full force.
Zena's office, sealed walls, old dentist chair, rainforest picture, Carlisle, Zena, Iron...Lara.
I groan as a thundering pain within my head rolls in. My hand instinctly raises to cradle my forehead before a excrutiating pain in my left abdomen strikes. I scream out. Perhaps I will pass out with the pain? I preferred the isolation of unconciousness to the company of a million knives in my stomach.
"Lara how many fingers am I holding up?"
My weary eyes groggily sense a shadow overcasting my face. The fuzzy black shapes approach my face, rapidly increasing their clarity.
"Four" I groan.
I observe Zena nodding in approval before reaching for a small silver tube. The shadow of her hand covers my face again but the shading is swfitly removed as a pure white light is shone into my eyes. I squint and Zena moves the torch away.
"Very good Lara"
"Water" I croak; my parched throat is as dry as the Cael desert.
Zena moves away towards her desk and presses a button the control pad. Immediately a glass of water appears and she hands it to me. I sluggishly propel myself up onto my arms, lifting my body to sit straight.
As the water trickles down my throat, I notice Carlisle and Iron resting on the cream couch. I stare with confusion at Iron's dismal slumped position as his hand rests in his hands. No doubt it is to do with Ally.
Traitor.
Nothing else would make him this miserable. I have to tell Carlisle what's happened; she needs to be punished before she hurts someone else.
She betrayed the STO and she betrayed me.
"Lara we need to talk to you about Ally's trial" Carlisle wheezes.
He doesn't move off the sofa; he looks to be using most of his energy just to hold in head in position.
"I need to talk to you about that as well" I rasp, my throat is still sapped of moisture as I desperately gulp down the rest of the water.
"Why did that happen to her Lara? Why is he her weakness?" Iron mutters. "She won't talk to me"
My mouth falls open in despair. I can't tell Iron, it would destroy him. He's my friend, I cannot hurt him no matter how much I want to lash out at something. I've already had my revenge.
"Carlisle, may I talk to you...privately?"
"Any conversation may include Iron" Carlisle nods over to him.
I shake my head. "No, I must speak with you alone Carlisle"
Iron and Carlisle glance at me quizzically before exchanging looks. I take another sip of my drink as Iron begins to rise.
"I'll go and check on Rena. I guess I'll see you two later" He shrugs, his expression vaguely hurt.
He would be more distraught if I told him of Ally. As Iron strides across the room, I flash a fleeting glance towards Zena who slaps her hands against her knees and follows Iron's path. The door slides closed and I'm left to greet the eyes of the withering Carlisle.
"If you don't mind Lara, I will stay on the couch"
"That's fine Carlisle"
He smiles gratefully. "What did you wish to speak to me about alone?"
"Carlisle I have some disturbing news about Ally"
His wizened brow folds quizzically.
"What is it child?"
I lick my lips nervouly. Should I be doing this? A flicker of doubt crosses my mind. What if I'm wrong? What do I do if Ally is innocent? Is it just circumstantial evidence that she is both a Warrior and half Leto?
"Lara" Carlisle calls.
"Carlisle I-I..."
I release a cry of pure consternation. The satanic ebony wave forms and thus does the blindness that accompanies its every move. I hearken the hoarse calls of Carlisle, yelling my name. I feel my mouth move but hear no words come out. How long shall it be this time?
As the distorted shadow of murk starts to dissipate, I feel my panic leave with it. My eyes take in the scene around me. Everything is the same as it was yet only Carlisle's wide eyes leave me reeling with horror. Have I hurt him? Or perhaps I've hurt myself. A quick glance down my body proves no cuts, bruises or broken bones.
"Lara, are you completely sure about this?"
I freeze. What could I have said?
"I'm sorry Carlisle, what did I say?"
A strange flicker of repugnance crosses Carlisle's face before he becomes neutral once more.
"You described the 'betrayal' of Ally's actions towards you and asked for the penalty of punishment to be inflicted upon her" Carlisle says.
"May I retract that statement?" I ask.
"No". Carlisle leans back into the smooth leather couch. "Once a Warrior has expressed concerns such as these, it becomes an issue of safety for the whole STO compound. If Ally is working as a double agent for the Sicarii then..."
"Then what?"
"Vicarius and I will decide the appropriate punishment. She will be useful"
"Useful for what-oh I see"
I bite my lip to try and contain my surprise. If sending Ally to the Kosher lab will protect myself and retain information on the whereabouts of Jared and the Sicarii, I have no other option.
"May I see the letters?"
"They're in my compartment"
Carlisle nods before looking away to the floor. His ashamed grimace wrenches a deep rooted sense of dyphoria. My bond for Carlisle tingles as I watch his dejected posture.
"Carlisle, what is wrong?"
Carlisle lifts his head, bending his neck at a gaut and uncomfortable angle. His aged eyes shine out from his youthful face. Yet somehow he looks older.
"The anti-ageing treatment doesn't last forever Lara" Carlisle sighs. "I'm starting to look as awful on the outside as I feel on the inside"
"What do you mean?" I utter, depicting every syllable carefully.
"Lara, I'm an old man. I've lived a long life, I've done a lot of things but it all comes with a price" Carlisle shakes his head slowly.
"Carlisle what are you talking about?"
"I have cancer Lara; its killing me"
I feel everything slow down around me. My limbs feel decidely heavy as my lips part and a deep breath is inhaled.
"Carlisle but cancer is curable" I choke out. "The medicine..."
Cancer like depression is the illness of our ancestors; the same ones who once called Corruptio 'New York'. With the Homo Excito medicine, it is healable. Spiteful tears prick and invade my eyes the way cancer invades the body.
"There's too many; the medicine won't work"
By this time I'm battling to see through my tears. "But-"
"There are no buts Lara, nothing can be done. I'm geriatric" Carlisle sighs.
Slowly, I lift myself to slide off the dentist bed and hobble to the couch. Settling down beside Carlisle, I run my fingers through my hair, praying somehow something could be done. I curl my lip to try and hold back further tears and wipe the remaining stray droplets away with my thumb. Once my eyes are reasonably clear, I finally speculate the ageing appearance of Carlisle.
"Well how long do..." I find myself unable to finish the sentence.
"How long do I have?" Carlisle nods. "Not long. I do not wish to tell you the exact date Lara"
"Why Carlisle? Is it near?" I nod forward, desperately searching for any sort of answer in his eyes.
The droop of his smile and the drop of his gaze indicate his answer. I cast my eyes away.
"Oh". The sound leaves my lips before I can retain it.
"Carlisle what is going to happen without you?"
Carlisle smiles sadly. "When the time comes, Vicarius is more than qualified. Hopefully we will have found some answers from the ship by that time".
I roll my head back to rest against the couch. What will I do without Carlisle? I love him. As I rest my eyes to focus back upon Carlisle, I finally realise how much he has been suffering. Even upon the Leto ship he was wheezing, battered and frail; like the real man he is. The 108 year old man.
"How long have you known?"
"I received the diagnosis onboard the Palatio ship just before I met yourself and Jared. It is the reason I was gifted that cane from the Leto Rex" He nods to the horrendous silver stick which rests next to his feet.
I reach forward and carefully wrap my arms around Carlisle. I feel him relax slightly and hear the creak of his debilitated bones. I inhale the musky scent of his clothes and the strong aroma of cough sweets penetrates my nose.
My heart aches a little as I feel a wet droplet of salt water land on my forearm. My previously controlled tears threaten to spill as I feel the feeble old man in my arms crumple.
"I'm so sorry Lara"
"Carlisle its alright to cry. You're human"
Carlisle releases a strained chuckle. "The old noggin' hadn't quite thought about the analysis until now. I never had any time to think about it or my feelings"
"I kind of have that effect on people" I smile.
Carlisle guffaws but the motion sets him off on a coughing fit. His frail frame rattles within my arms. I swiftly detach myself from him and lightly pat him on the back. His wheezing begins to cease and his convulsing hunched shoulders become motionless.
"Anyway, we need to address the real issue Lara. I want to make sure you are safe"
I nod in agreement and Carlisle nods his head. His alabaster cheeks are hollow and stretched tautly over his cheekbones insinuating the idea that his stormy grey eyes are larger than they actually are. The vast size scares me. He is not the Carlisle the posters once depicted him to be.
"I want you to collect the letters and bring them here to show me. Take Iron with you to ensure nothing happens but do not tell him anything. He need not find out until we are decided" Carlisle stares me straight into the eye. "This is going to hurt him a lot"
I nod my head. I hate thinking what the idea of this would do to Iron but then again the probability that he will believe me over Ally is unlikely. I need to present evidence.
My mouth runs dry. If Ally reveals to Iron my part in her failure of the weakness trial there will be no chance that he will believe me.
"Okay. I don't have to get him do I?"
Carlisle senses my unwillingness to approach Iron when he's with Ally. With my current behaviour being the way it is, I do not want to do anything I would regret later.
"No, I'll call him to meet you outside of the infirmary"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Lara, what exactly are we doing?"
I stare straight ahead as we stride along the cobbled streets outside the infirmary. I feel Iron's fingers latch onto my arm and tug me back.
"Lara"
"Yes?"
"I asked what we're doing" Iron repeats.
"We're fetching something my compartment. I can't say anymore than that" I shake my head, shaking off his arm.
The winds picks up, roaring around my ears. It picks crusty leaves off the ground, blowing them into a twirling flurry. My ponytail flutters in the breeze. I cling to the black lycra on my arms as my combat boots plod heavily against the cobbles. Apart from Iron and I, the streets are almost barren of Warriors aside from the stray few runners who dart down alleyways.
"Lara, I need to ask you something"
I bite my lip in anticipation. "What is it?"
"Do you have any idea of why Rena did not tell me about that 'Leto Rex' and why does she keep murmuring 'shut it down'." Iron pleading eyes bore into mine.
I falter.
"I don't know why she didn't tell you" I mutter. "Perhaps she didn't want you to try and kill him?"
"And the murmuring?"
I cast my eyes down at the floor and march on. I observe my compartment building approaching and feel glad at the thought my ranking it higher. It means I won't have to endure anymore of Iron's demanding questions.
"Lara do you know something?" Iron's desperate tone begs me for answers.
"Iron can we please talk about this later"
"Lara, I need information now. Ally is my bond mate. Think about it; if Jared were in the same situation as Ally what would you do?" Iron grabs my arm.
I growl in anger. How could he bring that up? I spin round and launch my fist at my face. It is not a hard punch but its enough to shut him up.
"Sorry" He says, rubbing at his nose.
I feel glad that Iron doesn't get angry about these things. He knows how how rifled the mention of a missing bond mate can make you; he understands. I'm not ready to lose that yet.
We enter the door of my compartment building in silence. I lead and Iron trails just behind me. Left in peace to think, I wonder about the possbilities of what will happen.
When I show Carlisle the letters, I know what will follow for Ally but what will happen to me? Will they be able to stop the letters? Will squeezing information from Ally help to find the location of Jared? My breath hitches in anticipation. Will I finally be able to find him?
We reach the corridor of compartment 2 and stroll side by side. As I activate the control pad I turn to face Iron.
"When we go in, do you mind waiting outside of my door?"
"You don't want me to come in?" Iron questions. I shake my head.
"Okay" He shrugs.
The door slides open and we walk in. One glance around the room has my mouth falling open in shock.
"Woah" Iron says.
The entire room is ransacked. The mug I used the morning of Ally's weakness test lies in pieces on the floor. Crinkled newspapers replace the black tiles as the new flooring. The sofa cushions are scattered on the floor and the remains of the black leather couch are crooked.
What the hell happened? Is it the Sicarii?
I suddenly think of the common element that is missing here.
"Vic" I yell.
I skip over the broken glass and throw the door to his bedroom open. Normally access to it is prohibited but this counts as an exception. Aside from a small single bed, the room is completely empty of both furniture and Vicarius. Its not the decor I was expecting.
"Vic" I call again. There is still no answer.
My heart beats fast. Is Vicarius hurt?
I dash out of Vic's room and hurdle the strewed sofa cushions. Iron still stands in the same position, his eyes surveilling the battered living room. Running past the dispersed hurdles I fling open the door of my bedroom.
My eyes are met with the most disturbing sight. Vic stands clothed in black eminating a gloomy yet dangerous aura. He spins round to face me and I scream at the glowing obsidian hue of his eyes. Within his hands lies the oh so familiar parchment.
"Lara what is going on?" Iron cries running in the room.
Vicarius grins. "Surprise"