Chapter 31 - Everything I Didn't Say
Asher's POV
This was seriously the most aggravating and humiliating day of my life, another day of plain torcher. I'm shopping with Kimmy for another dress, for the stupid Christmas party that I didn't even want to go to any more. I would not go if that meant getting me out of this situation. I would give my right kidney to get out of this.
During the car ride, she even told me that this was pay back for dragging her to the party she didn't want to go to. I whined and wailed trying to get out of it, but there was just no use. Luckily, bless them deeply, Tyler and Katie had meet us at the mall. We had already gone through two stores though before meeting them in the middle. Still, nothing was bought.
By the look on Ty's face he didn't want to be here at all. Ty isn't a 'let's go kill time at the mall' kind of guy. Katie on the other hand is a shopper, it's in her blood. If you threw her in a mall and gave her money she wouldn't leave until she spent it all. We followed behind the girls and walked into whatever store they were dragging us into.
They looked for hours, then tried on everything they took out, and guess who was stuck carrying what they wanted to try on, oh yes, us. They think we're their pack mules or something.
"You boys have muscles, use them," Katie winked, piling another dress in Ty's arms. When Kate's back is turned he looked over to me and mouthed 'shoot me now'.
"These muscles are for sports and attracting girls, not carrying bags and dresses," He grumbles trying to rest his chin on the top of pile.
"Are you done now? Jesus Kimmy, there's like ten dresses in this pile, you actually think you're going to try them all on?" I whine, as she throws three more on my arm. Correction, I counted this time, it's now a total of fifteen dresses.
"Almost, I have to find one more," She trails off, searching through another rack.
Uh huh, sure one more dress. She doesn't have to find one more. Bullshit! I think I'm realizing a pattern going on here; they're all pretty much red, green, or white dresses. Oh, and one black.
"OK, so I lied," She starts holding up her hands, "Two more dresses," She smiles, dangling them in front of me.
"You can carry those. These dresses weigh more than you." I complain shifting them around to get a better hold on them.
"Is that a fat joke?" She scowled, putting her hands on her hips. I think it's so cute when she does that.
"I said the dresses were heavier, so no. You already picked out that dress." I shouted to her, looking down at the pile and finding the same striped pattern.
"Yeah, but I don't know if that one will fit and I just found that one in a size up." She explains, waving her hand to follow her to the fitting room area. "Put them right there for me." She instructs clapping me on the back.
I placed them all on a bench, flexing my arms. Damn girls can shop. For guys it's simple; shirt, pants, shoes, perfect hair, and done! Well, somewhat easy, you can't get a rock hard smoking body in just one week, screw those commercials that tell you otherwise. Eating blended green shit is the biggest lie ever told.
I sat lazily on a cozy chair in front of her dressing room waiting for her to come out. At least I get to judge what she wears, that's probably the only fun part, that and spending time with her. It's been hard to do that when a majority of her time is spent with Spencer. A few minutes later she came out in a white dress that had all this black lining around it. I had to tell it to her straight, she looked like a nun. I shook my head in disapproval, as she walked back in trying another on. Great, one down fifty more to go.
Kim's POV
"This is dress number fifteen! Can you just pick one already!" Asher complains from behind the door of the dressing room I've been in for at least an hour.
Dresses aren't easy to pick! What do they think happens for us to look good? Magical fairies that come to use and make us look pretty and dress nice with just a flick of the wand? I don't think so! Guys got it too easy, shirt, pants, hair, and done. Girls no, no, no, dress, shoes, hair, make up, shave this, pluck this, wax that, we put in too much effort, and them? Nothing!
"Relax, there only a few more left," I assured him. Holding the zipper on the back of the dress, and the front up with the other hand, as I made my way over to Ash, crouching down so he could zip the back up for me. I pranced to the middle of the hall where the lights show just right in front of the wall length mirror. I pass Tyler as his eyes went a bit wide.
"Like the dress Tyler?" I teases twirling in front of him.
"Uh... Yours? Or hers?" He says, stuttering, pointing to Katie.
Turning around, I gasped looking over at Katie coming out of the cubical. I should have thought of that! I didn't have to go through a bunch of dresses, I could have went simple and collected a crimson red, long sleeve top, and paired it off with a black skirt just like Katie had done. Just by looking at her I knew exactly how to accessorize it.
She blushed, walking over to the mirror to look for herself, "Opaque black tights, black heeled booties, and red lip stick and you're outfit will be perfect." I tell her, wishing I had that outfit picked out.
"You think so?" She grimaces looking unsure as she spun slowly in the skirt looking over her shoulder to see in the mirror. "I thought about buying a dress-"
"Kate the outfit is perfect. Not too fancy, not too short and if you don't buy that outfit then I will." I tell her seriously, nodding my head once.
She pursed her lips in the mirror, pulling her hair up or to the side. "At least you don't look like a slut." Tyler side, watching her pose in front of the mirror.
"That's the best compliment you're going to get from him, Kate." Asher chuckles, looking our way as well.
"I wasn't looking for a compliment, but thank you for the Tyler King non-slut assurance." Katie grimaces, turning back to the cubical.
I chuckle, looking at myself in the mirror feeling downgraded. Katie looked absolutely stunning. I looked like I was ready to go to a funeral, "This is so not the dress." I say, shaking my head to change into another.
"Dress number sixteen!" Asher announces, annoyance sounding in his voice.
"Congratulations! You can count!" I joke, clapping my hands. I slip on another dress and zipped the zipper that was on the side. I walked out only to get a horrified looked from Asher shooing me back in.
"You look like an old lady ready to get baptized! In a bathrobe." He states, not liking the dress at all. Without even a glance in the mirror, I laugh, walking back in and grabbing the last red one from the pile.
"Number seventeen, your lucky number. Let's see how lucky it really is," I shout, giggling lightly.
"Please Lord Father," I heard him pray.
"I didn't even pick out this dress, did you?" I said walking out of the dressing room. I turn around waiting for him to zip me up but he took longer than usual, "Ash, zip me up."
He slowly moves the zipper up. When I turn around he gave me that same surprised expression that Tyler gave to Katie. I smile feeling a little excitement as I leap in front of the mirror, only to look back at myself disappointed. It wasn't as great as I imagined it. A slight frown on my lips when Katie came out of her dressing room, back in her normal clothes, and looked at me.
"What do you think?" I ask, biting my lower lip.
"It looks plain, but I think if you accessorize it right, it'll look great." Katie says, looking over my like a priceless painting. The dress was no big deal. It had sleeve up to my elbows, the neckline cut wavy, and hitting just above my knees.
"I don't know." I mumble, but then it hit me. Just like when I figured out what Katie could wear with hers. "My pearl bracelet with the gold bow in the middle, maybe my pearl necklace-"
"And your Louboutins! You have to wear them!" She insisted, grasping my upper arm.
"Katie." I hissed.
"If you won't then I will!" She said with determination, putting her hands on her hips.
"Why so I can look like a show off, spoiled rich kid?" I say rhetorically with a scoff.
"So you can finally take those shoes out of the box and scuff the bottom of those red soles." She says, pushing me toward the dressing room. Why would I want to scuff the bottom of a beautiful pair of shoes!
"You look..... Incredible." Asher said, struggling to find the right adjective. That's so better than Tyler's.
"So I'm guessing you like it?" He only nodded his head looking up and down at me slowly, his eyes lingering at the most perverted places. I smiled, patting his cheek as I went to change back in my normal cloths and leave the unwanted pile of dresses on the bench.
*****
"Have you talked to Spencer today?" Katie asks, as she curls a piece of her blond hair in my bathroom.
We were getting ready for the party. It was the day before Christmas Eve, fresh snow was falling from the sky and we were eight minutes away from the party. I was still in my white bathrobe, hair finished, but still putting on my make-up. I blinked a few times putting in my contact answering Katie.
"He landed safely yesterday. Started teasing me about the weather and how he was wearing shorts." I giggle, sweeping on some mascara.
Katie whines, pouting her lower lip, while positioning all her curly hair around her face then putting on some lip gloss, "What a lucky bastard." She mumbles under her breath with a crooked smile.
"I know." I laugh, "Next winter we're going some place sunny and warm." I vow to her. She nods her head agreeing.
"So, um, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but the other night, before the game we were talking about you and Asher-" She trailed off, nodding her head from side to side.
"Katlin." I warned, shaking my head at her before applying mascara to my other eye.
"What if this whole time he's been in love with you? The whole reason why he didn't want to spend time apart with you and why he got super jealous and angry at first when you started dating Spencer. When he got drunk, coincidentally, right after Spencer showed up at your Thanksgiving party. Like it all makes sense-"
"Katie, I refuse to believe that Asher, has those feelings for me. If Asher wants something, he goes after it. He wanted to be a starter sophomore year for football he got it. He wanted Tiffany Blanchet he got with Tiffany. Whatever girl he wants to hook up with, he hooks up with. If Asher wanted to date me, he would have dated me, but he didn't want to Kate, and that's that."
Asher Knight, in love with me? No. Not in that way. I knew why too, it's because we're best friends. He's a player and I'm his geeky side chick. Asher can get any girl that he wants. Always the prettier one, the athletic one, the sexier one; never the smart awkward one; aka me.
I sigh, shaking my head and glance at Katie through the mirror as she spoke to me, "You know I too refused to believe that Tyler King could actually be a decent guy. Someone with feelings and a romantic side. You know what, I was wrong, because for three hours of the night he sat on that couch and talked to me like a normal guy would have. I don't care if he was still half drunk at the time, but if anyone would have told me that was possible I would have called them crazy." She ranted, holding her hands in the air as she talked about the last weekend, "My point is sometimes we're too stubborn to believe what could actually be true. We're so fixated on what we believe that we don't allow ourselves to think of the other possibilities."
"Katie I can't put my life on hold and wait for him anymore. I already wasted three years waiting for him to only end up heart broken. He's never once showed or told me that he's liked me back in that way. And I shall refuse to believe and give myself false hope again until he tells me straight to my face the words that I want to hear. Until then, this is how it's going to be."
We stayed quiet only for a couple of minutes. Rushing to put on the rest of our makeup before time ran out. Time did run out already, but if you're late, you might as well be fashionably late. Even though my dress is already red, Katie advised me to wear red lipstick and a little bit of gold eye shadow. Katie did it simple, with a light smoky eye and red lipstick.
I rushed out of the bathroom and into my closet, carefully putting on the red dress. I looked through my jewelry box looking for my large statement necklace that I thought went better than the pearl necklace. I put in my diamond studs then went to the back of my closet to grab the box out from hiding.
"Katie if I scuff these or anything I'll blame you forever." I say, taking a deep breath and opening the lid of the box.
"Or you can just thank me at the end of the night for wearing such fabulous shoes." She chuckles, standing outside of my closet as she puts on her tights.
"We'll see." I mumble, cautiously taking them out of the box. I love these too much for anything to happen to them, but what's the use of buying them if I'm going to keep them in a box?
After putting on the final finishing touches on our outfits we made our way down stairs, putting on our coats and heading to Katie's car. There was only a little bit of snow on the ground, it was only a light flurry, but we were still careful. By the time we got to Dylan's the party had already started. Unlike the victory party the music wasn't blasting so the whole street could hear. Katie and I both made note of that as we parked.
"Maybe the neighbors finally complained." Katie chuckles, as we get out of the car. We link arms, huddling together for some warmth. When we got into the house we also figured out there wasn't as many people as the last party. There was actually room to walk around and not everyone was squished and grinding against each other.
I hung my coat up in the closet, walking with Katie to the kitchen area where we knew the boys would be. That's where the booze center usually was, so that's where they camped out. Sure enough they were all there, huddled together, bellowing with laughter, and drinking beer. I poked Asher on his left shoulder, then quickly spun around to stand on his right. A silly old trick, but it got him every time.
"Hey! I was wondering when you'd show up." He smiles, hugging me to his side briefly.
"Girls take time to get ready. Not going to deny that." I argue, pushing my hair behind my ear.
"Oh my God, I love your shoes!" A girl shouted behind me, grabbing my arm to get my attention as she gawked down at them.
"Seriously I'm like so jealous." Her other friend said, staring down wide eye.
"Thank you." I chuckle shy, turn back to my friends as quick as I could.
"New shoes?" Asher asks, raising an eyebrow and looking down at my feet.
"Yeah, something like that." I smirk, catching Tyler secretly eyeing Katie up and down.
"Drink up." Katie orders, passing me a shot of something green.
"Jell-O shots? Really? Classy, Katie, really." I laugh, shaking my head.
"You didn't drink at the last party. Or that party before that. You need to let loose a bit, come on!" She encourages, holding her Jell-O shot next to mine.
"I promised Spencer I wouldn't." I told her, shaking my head.
"Oh come on! Don't be a Debbie Downer!" Tyler shouted.
"Yeah, don't listen to him! I bet he's having a drink on the beach this very moment with some hot blond." Dylan continues before drinking down half his beer. I shake my head at their immaturity.
"Come on, just one drink!" Katie begs, pouting her lower lip.
"If you get drunk tonight then who's going to take care of me?" Tyler shouts, raising his hands in the air.
With a scoff, Katie turns her head, "Not me." With that final statement she throws back the Jell-O down her throat.
"I guess the roles are reversed tonight." Asher laughs, smacking Tyler on the back.
"I'm still getting drunk as fuck tonight." He mutter before chugging down the rest of his beer. "Kim don't make me force that down your throat. One drink isn't going to kill you Goody-two-shoes."
"Fine! One drink." I say, giving in and making it clear that it was just this one. Swallowing down the green solid mixed with some heavy duty vodka.
*****
"Swear to God this is my last drink!" I warned looking at both Asher and Katie, as he hands me a tiny glass shot cup, with a dazzling smile.
"I'm pretty sure you said that two shots ago," He corrects giving me the 'whatever' look.
I took a shot of the strong liquor, feeling it burn my throat. Asher laughed, sliding the glass across the counter to the boys at the end and then offering back my bottle of water. Turning around I felt someone's hands and fingers brush down my back, sending chills down my spine. I cringed, holding my hand on the counter for support as some soccer jock -who was clearly drunk- smiled at me lop sided, having a hard time keeping still.
"Can I help you?" I said, uncomfortably flinching away from his touch.
"That dress looks very pwetty on youuuu. Does the rest of youuur body look that gooood without it?" he slurred, shamelessly flirting.
He grabbed my arm forcefully, as I stumbled over my feet. My chest crashed against his and his breath wreaked of alcohol. I waved my hand in front of my nose, beginning to pull away from him.
"Get your fucking hands off her," Asher boomed, pushing the intoxicated guy away. His arm wrapped tightly around my waist, hiding me behind him like a shield.
"Whoa man, I didn't know she was taken," he said in defense, holding up his hands, and backing away slightly. Asher did tower over this guy by a good few inches, but they were both built the same.
"Yeah she is, so back the hell off," He growls, as the guys walks away, grabbing some random girl sitting on a chair to make out with, "Disgusting bastard," I hear him grumble.
"KIMMY! WHOA!" Katie yelled, while holding up two small glass shots. Oh God please no, not again, "Drink one with me!" She shouts in my ear over the music. Katie has never been one to drink, but when she did it was hardcore.
"Katie I can't I already had, like, three." I told her shaking my head.
"Aww, come on! Don't be a party pooper! The Kimberly I use to know never backed down from a shot challenge," She says loudly, insisting me to take another drink.
"Katie-"
"Asher! Tell your girl to loosen up and have some fun," She yells to Asher, who was only a foot behind me. Ugh I'm going to kill Katie.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Asher says in my ear and squeezing my shoulder, "I'll take it for her, Kate."
Katie smiles, handing the shot glass to Asher. He pours another for them, watching me the whole time, just watching. I looked around, seeing everyone having fun. Not one person was just normally sitting down socializing or sober. I was seriously the outlier in this equation. Grabbing a clean glass from the middle of the table, I nudge Asher to pour me a shot, quickly swallowing it.
"That's what I'm talking about! Kimmy T knows how to handle her liquor!" Katie cheers in approval as she takes the bottle from Asher and pours me another to drink with her.
I guess a little party never killed nobody.
*****
Asher's POV
Kimmy's pretty little laugh sang in my ears, making me smile as her arm dangled over my waist, supporting her body weight. Kimmy was drunk. Not badly drunk, but enough to make her a little wacky and not her normal self. I on the other hand was just a little bit tipsy. I wasn't as bad as her, though, but I was still a little out of it; saying something or doing something stupid, but then coming back to my senses.
My arm rested around her shoulder, helping her walk straight and steady, as she held her heels with her free hand, that wasn't gripping my shirt. For some reason, we ended up outside on the back porch just walking from the front of the house and all the way around to the back. It was surprisingly chilly out and I was shocked that she hadn't complained that she was cold or she wanted to back inside.
"And then, in fifth grade you-you," She tried saying, while laughing hard, "Fell face first in the potato sack." I smile, remembering dully the day she was talking about.
"Hey not as bad as seventh grade, when I thought baseball was going to be my new favorite sport," That made her crack up laughing, while she gripped my shirt, tightly wrapping it around her fingers.
"You struck out so many times," She laughing and tripping over her own feet. I caught her quickly straightening her back up. "I never liked seventh grade. I never like Jr. High years." She admits, still smiling, but shaking her head.
"What do you mean? I thought you said you loved eighth grade because you liked playing volleyball?"
"Nope," she laughed popping the 'P', "I hated that year, so much. I thought I lost you dude. You were going out to parties and wooing it all up. And then there I was, at home, studying, and doing homework, like a geek."
I looked at her as she admitted her true feelings. She thought she lost me? She never lost me, I was with her all the time. Sure I changed just a bit, going out to parties for football, but still it became a regular thing. But maybe, it was because I never really started inviting her until freshman year. She would always say no, but then sophomore year came, she actually decided to start having fun, now look at her.
"And then you went screwing around with any girl you wanted and all the guys adored you for it. Maybe it's because you had the balls to, but the others were always one or two steps behind. They played it safe. I think that's why I kind of hated you freshman year and eighth grade summer. You changed. Then, I find out you lost your virginity to some hoe-bag a grade older than you and you never told me. I found that out by Tyler, dammit, when he teased me about it. Saying I was last on your priority list and I was just some geek toy to you, so you could keep your position on the team. That I was only around to get you good grades. That's when I decide to change. No glasses, new contacts, no baggy clothes, pretty dresses, no fluffy static hair, no more braces. I guess, all I had to do was look pretty to get you back," She said all in a whisper as if I wasn't even there.
Hearing all this, coming out of her mouth, made me feel sad that this was actually what she thought. That she thought for all these years that I was the biggest jerk ever. I've always liked Kimmy, maybe I didn't notice it till High School year, but at least I figured it out sooner rather than later. I never thought that I treated her differently. I never intended to put my popularity over her. I've always loved her and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I thought she knew that too; that I've always been there to protect her and to help her out.
"Kimmy I nev-"
"Wait, wait, I didn't get to the best part yet," She chuckles slightly bouncing up and down, "I thought I was so stupid and ridiculous that I actually had a crush on you in the seventh grade. And then, now I think about it and I'm like, damn, I was messed up," She laughs the whole time trying to walk by herself, but I still held onto her.
"You liked me?" I said a little happily a smile stretching on my face. Maybe I still do have a shot! Maybe, I'm not too late!
"Ha-ha yep, and boy was I stupid to think that. There was no way I was going to end up with you. Me, Kimberly Taylor, the geeky four eyed braces girl, with you, Asher Knight, the most handsome, talented, playboy guy in our school. I was just lucky enough to have you as a best friend."
I didn't care that she was laughing about loving me the whole time, OK maybe a little, but I was happier than I was upset. My smile grew wider and my hand held tighter around her shoulder, she noticed and moved my hand so she could release the pain I must be causing her. She liked me.... She likes me!
"So you like me?" I prompted with a smile; my hand squeezed hers a bit tighter. I couldn't help but want to jump around and scream at the top of my lungs, in satisfaction and victory, but I didn't want to do that just yet.
"Yeah I did, but I know, you don't have to tell me, I was stupid. You're my best friend, why would I even think about you that way," she said scowling at herself, "Ugh, this alcohol is getting to me." She whispers. "Let's not talk about it anymore."
"Why not?" I scowl, panicking because I didn't want this to end. This sobered me up!
"You-you're a player. You wouldn't be happy with just me. You could have any pretty girl you want. I don't want to be another one of your booty calls or hook ups, that's not me. I'm me, I'm a nerd, I like to read, you like to screw around. I realized that. My heart was broken long enough for you, and I had to mend it on my own and see you every day and realize it wouldn't work out because you are who you are and you won't change; at least not for me." She took a deep breath, unwrapping herself from me and rubbing her palms under her eyes quickly, "You can date a cheerleader," She says quietly, walking up to the railing around the house, "An incredible athlete, a model, but people like you don't end up with a geek, someone like me. That's just Hollywood and fairytale stuff."
I shook my head scowling at her in annoyance. How could she think that way? I've always told her she was way better than any girl I've ever meet and she's the prettiest girl ever. She's that girl parents are dying and hoping and praying for their sons to bring home, not the girls I ever get involved with.
"But, what if I do like you? What if I chose you and wanted to be with you?" I hint, walking slowly to her.
"Then you would be a fool," She snickers, turning around so abruptly that the skirt of her dress swung around her and back. I would be a fool? Damn, then I'd be the luckiest fool in the world.
"I would be one lucky fool then, Kimberly Ann Taylor." I told her with a smile. I stopped walking, standing right in front of her until our feet touched. "Because Kimberly Taylor, you're the prettiest girl in the world, the smartest, the quirkiest, the one that makes me laugh and smile, the one who keeps me sane when I need to be, the only girl I've ever brought home to meet my parents, the girl I can't sleep without, whom I will love forever and never let go of, if you give me a chance." I could have gone on and on, my list would probably be pages long, but I had to stop at some point.
"You love me?" She whispers, her face looked oddly upset as she stared off at nothing behind me.
"I do. I always have. Not just today or yesterday or last week, but years." I admit brushing back the few strands of loose hair off her face. Her eyes dart up to mine, and instead of that happy twinkle I thought would be in her olive eyes she actually looked frightened and sad; wetness pricking her eyes. "Kim-"
"You can't- You shouldn't have- after all these years! Do you know how this makes me feel?" She stutters, rushing out her words, looking and sounding panicked. She shakes her head and darts her eyes from side to side, pulling my hands off her face.
"Isn't this what you wanted to hear? That I have those same feelings back!" I tell her holding her there so she didn't walk away.
"After I moved on? After I have finally moved on, with Spencer. Now you tell me, now you miss me, now you want me." She shakes her head, mumbling to herself under her breath and running her fingers through her hair.
"But you just told me-"
"I didn't think that by telling you this would happen. I shouldn't have told you. It's not fair to Spencer." She says, pushing away as best as she can and wipes the tears from her eyes.
Though I struggled to keep her from leaving, I only needed to do one thing now. Kiss her. Just for her to know how I felt, just to calm her down. We both relaxed, melting into one another. Trying to make the moment last, but when our cold lips parted, and her eyes opened, the fear was gone, and so was the sadness. It was all shock though. To the both of us that it actually happened.
I just kissed my best friend.
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Comment. Vote. Fan. Blah blah blah-<3Ky & Kels :)
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