*Chapter Four*
The Girl Who Learned To Love The Badass
I'm sure many of you are mad at me for not posting in a while but my life has been crazy and I have been helping my friends write there stories and I've had a few other stories pop into my head. That I might be posting on here. So here is this chapter and I hope everyone can forgive
me for the long wait.
♥tiny.pixie.95
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*Josh's P.O.V*
Where was I? That was the question that kept rolling around in my head. I knew how I was. I was Josh Taylor. I was eighteen years old. My best friends were Kristi Johnson, Jared Alexander, Paul Willson, Aston Miller, and Jesse Jones. I think I am in love with a girl named Alisya Masters.
I was sitting across from my annoying sister who would not tell me where I was. Though she knows exactly were we were at.
We were sitting in a white room, white walls, white ceiling, white floor. It was making me really hate the color white. I was still watching Austin. I couldn't believe that she was here. I mean she had died three years ago. She shouldn't be here. It was impossible.
I was with her when she passed on I remember it well. It will forever be embedded in my memories.
*May 18, 2007*
I sat in the hospital room laying in the horribly uncomfortable hospital chair across from my parents. They were both asleep and holding hands. I smiled they have been married for 20 years and are in love with each other as much today as they were when they first got married. I didn't think anything could split them up. My attention went to my sister.
Her normally curly bouncy blonde hair had lost all of it's shine and was dull and lifeless. Her face normally bright and full of color was dull and lifeless, just like her hair. Her eyes were closed and she was sleeping.
But even in sleep she looked in pain. I hated that look... I wanted nothing more that to take that pain and put it in myself so she never had to experience it again. Most older brothers hated their younger sister or sisters but not me.
I loved mine to death. She was my best friend. She came to me when her first boyfriend was a dick and I kicked his ass. When she had her first kiss, when she here first period. That was not a fun conversation. She came to me when she was scared. I knew all her fears and all her worries and secrets and she knew everything about me.
And that was nothing pretty.
I took her hand a held it wishing I could channel the leukemia threw her and into me. It wasn't right that she was going to die so young. Just when she was beginning her life. She should have a long happy life. She should have the chance to get married and have kids and to fall in love.
I laid my head down on the bed. I could feel the tears running down my face.
"You shouldn't cry." A soft voice said. I looked up to see my sisters light blue eyes watching me.
"It's not right. You shouldn't be suffering. It should be me." I said. "You should have a long happy life, you are the better person. You are the nicer person, the better child, you have a better heart. You are perfect, where I am not."
I looked away ashamed.
"Hey... Hey look at me." She said. I looked at her young face so full of innocence. Something I didn't have.
"There is a reason that I am leaving and you are staying. You're not a bad person and you are meant for something. I can feel it..." "here." She said pointing at her heart.
"But."
"Don't butt me. Now dry up those tears and put a smile on that face. I don't have much longer and I want to see that smile once more."
"You have a long while. You're going to be here a long time more. " I said but I knew I was wrong. I could see the last remaining light in her eyes start to disappear. It was fading quickly.
I woke my parents up. I watched and listened while she spoke to them and comforted them. Then her last words to me were. "Josh. I love you! One day when your big and strong you will understand why you were left. Make me proud."
I kissed her forehead and smiled. "I will." I promised. She left us ten minutes later, never to return.
I never was the same. That was the day. I lost my best friend and myself. That was when I turned into a hateful and unruly child, I gave up on school. I started having sex with any girl that would have me. That was the day I broke my promise to my baby sister, and turned into the jerk I was today.
*Present Time.*
"I haven't made you very proud have I?" I asked breaking the silence surrounding us.
"Well did you have to go sleeping around with all of those hoebags?" she said. Austin hadn't changed a bit since that day, and I guess I really shouldn't have expected her to. It wasn't like she had went on vacation for three years. She had died. Her body was frozen at thirteen.
"It was my way of dealing with everything." I said.
"So you wanted to get an STD?" She half-yelled.
"NO, wait. You didn't... um... watch... everything... I did. Did you?"
"Of course I didn't watch. I saw what you were going to do. And I went far far far way. That's just nasty."
I sighed. Thank god she didn't watch that shit.
"Good. So how have you been?"
"Dead." I glared at her. She smirked. That was my sister.
"Gee. I knew that."
"How have you been?"
"Horrible...but I think I finally found my girl."
"Oh yeah. Alisya. She's beautiful and I approve. She has had the past few months rough."
"What do you mean?" I asked. I was confused.
"Alisya's parents died last month and they slit her and her sister up. Her sister lives in Florida. Her sister won't talk to her. I believe her sister blames Alisya for the crash. Her sister wanted to go to Florida. To get away from her sister. But she didn't tell Alisya this."
Oh god. No wonder she ran from me. I was playing with a heart that was already broken. Oh I felt like such an ass.
"I guess you seen what I did to her?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"It was wrong Josh."
"I know. I feel like such an ass."
"You should."
"So are you finally going to tell me where we are."
She sighed. "This is called the room of waits."
"and that means."
"This is the room were you wait and decide if you want to go back and live or if you want to leave the world."
"Oh."
I suddenly started hearing voices all of the voices I knew, The guy's, Krisit's, my parent's, all but the one I wanted to hear.
I listened to what everyone had to say.
My parent's "Josh. Honey. Wake up. We miss you and need you. Please come back to us."
Krisit's "Josh. I can't believe you well I can. I mean she is pretty and you did break her heart worse than it already was but you need to wake up because now she won't wake up and I'm scared. Josh. I'm terrified. Wake up."
I looked over at Austin. "What does she mean? Why won't Alisya wake up?"
"she passed out when the doctor told her that you had a very slim chance of waking up. That was four hours ago."
I groaned. Great!
Each of the guys said something but nothing affected me as much Krisit's words. I was worried sick. She needed to wake up.
I could feel my sister's eyes on me. I looked up. She looked like she was trying to decide something.
"Why Josh?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why did you turn from my sweet older brother to this ignorant ass whole?"
"I...I..."
Man why did I turn into such an ass?
"Because the one person who knew me and cared about me was gone. Because I didn't have a reason not to."
I couldn't look at Austin. I felt so ashamed so dirty. I broke the last promise I made to her. She came and sat next to me. I felt her arms come around me. They were soft and warm. I didn't expect that. I leaned against her.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Don't be. Just promise me you will change."
"I promise and this time I mean it."
"Good."
"Josh. I love you!"
I looked up at Austin.
"That wasn't me." she said.
"Josh please wake up. I need you. We need you!"
Alisya.
I stood up. I had to get to her. I looked around for a door. There wasn't one. I felt along the walls. I wanted out. I wanted to get to my girl.
"Austin. How do I get out of here?"
"Where do you want to go?"
"I want to go home, I want to get to Alisya. I want to change, I want to be better."
She smiled. She closed her eyes. I saw a bright light and then a door appeared.
"Good because if you don't change, that voice you hear now. The one that says she loves you will disappear."
I walked towards her. I hugged her with everything I had.
"I love you Austin."
"I love you Josh."
"Behave yourself. Don't flirt with to many guys. If there are guys for you to flirt with. I will come up here and kick his ass."
She smiled.
"Yeah right. Jacob could kick your ass in a millisecond."
"Oh so there is someone. JACOB BE NICE TO MY LITTLE SISTER OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" I yelled. I heard laughter and a boy about fifteen appeared behind Austin wrapping his arms around her. His arms were the size of my head. Maybe I won't be kicking his ass. He would kill me. Figure of speech.
"I mean it." I said pretending not to be scared. "I'll take good care of your sister. I promise."
"Good. Take care Austin. Jacob."
I kissed her cheek and smiled.
I turned to the door and opened it. Running straight into the bright white light. Headed back to my Alisya, straight to my love. Into my new life.
*Alisya's P.O.V*
I opened my eyes and looked around. I was laying in a bed with railings on each side. I groaned. My whole body hurt. My head, my arms, my legs, my back. What happened?
"Oh good you're awake." I heard someone saw. I focused on the voice and found that it belonged to a man. About the age of forty. He had black hair and dark eyes. He reminded me of someone, but I didn't know who.
"Who are you?" I asked my voice was thick with sleep.
"I'm Jackson Taylor."
Taylor... Josh. Oh my god, this must be Josh's dad.
"Are you Josh's dad?"
"Yes."
"How is he?"
"The same. He seems to be waiting on something."
I felt the tears come to my eyes.This is my fault.
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." I felt so guilty.
"No... I don't believe it is. Josh told me what happened last night."
"Oh."
"And what he did was wrong. I don't blame you for not talking to him. He knew, when he pushed you out of the way, what he was doing."
"He cares about you. Which is surprising. He doesn't care for anyone. Not since Austin."
"Austin. My daughter. She died three years ago."
"Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't..."
"Don't worry about it. I brought it up."
I sat up. I tried getting up out of the bed.
"Oh no you don't."
"But I want to see Josh."
"Well as your doctor I say that's a bad idea. But as Josh's father I want you to see him. So I'll give you your clothes and you can go see him. Then it's straight back into bed for you young lady."
"You're a doctor?"
"Yes. Now here you go." He handed me my clothes and left the room so I could change. I put my clothes on and ran out the door. He was waiting right out the door. "Are you ready?"
I nodded. He led me to the room right next to mine.
I pushed the door open. I saw the bed and then I saw Josh. He looked the same as before. Before I pasted out.
There was a lady sitting in a chair next to the bed. Watching Josh.
"Hon." Jackson said. The lady looked up. She looked to be in her late thirties to early forties. She had blonde hair and light blue eyes. She was beautiful.
"Hon. This is Alisya."
"Ah so this is the girl who tried to kill my other baby."
"Ma'am. I didn't mean..." I didn't get to finish my sentience because she had slapped me. My face burned from the force she put into it. I was going to have a bruise.
"How dare you... How dare you. He could have died. He might never wake up. I've already lost one child. I don't want to lose another. But thanks to you I just might."
"Ashley." Jackson yelled.
"No. Mr. Taylor. She's right. I'm just going to leave. I need to let Michelle know what happened. I'm sorry to have bothered you." I said backing away headed towards the door. I had almost made it there when I felt a tug on my arm.
"Oh no you don't. My wife may not believe it. But I know you are good for my son in more way than one. He talks to me more than her. I know he would want you here."
He grabbed Ashley by the arm and pulled her out the door.
"What do you think you are doing?" She screeched at him. He frowned and closed the door behind them.
I looked back over at Josh. He looked so peaceful but he looked impatient.
I walked over to his bed and sat down where Mrs. Taylor had just been. I took his hand. It felt warm. Just like it had last night. I smiled remembering that kiss. I wanted to do it again. And I would as soon as he felt better.
"Josh. I love you!"
I hoped that I would get something from him. But I knew better. Nothing happened.
"Josh please wake up! I need you! We need you!"
Nothing.
My head felt limp. It fell onto the bed. I cried. I didn't have the strength to go anything else. I cried and I cried and I wished from my Josh. I wished that his mother didn't hate me. I wished that my parents were here. I wished that Josh would wake up.
"You shouldn't cry. It doesn't make me feel good. In fact in makes me feel like an ass."
I looked up. Yes. There was my Josh. My wonderful perfect beautiful Josh.
"Josh." I cried and hugged his neck. "Oh you scared me so bad. Why oh why did you push me away from the car. You shouldn't have."
"Yes. I should have. I couldn't have lived with myself if I had let that car hit you. I really would be an ass then."
He patted the bed next to him and I climbed into the tiny bed. It was kind of cramped but I comfortable. I was surprised that Josh wanted be there since he was hit by a car. But he seemed comfy enough.
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"It was my fault you got hit. I should have just listened to you."
"Hey look at me."
I looked up and saw his beautiful eyes. I lost myself in them.
"It wasn't your fault."
"but."
"Don't but me."
"Alright."
He held me and I was content to lay in his arms. I knew nothing was alright. His mother hated me.
He groaned.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm just now feeling the pain."
I tried getting up but the one good arm he had held me down.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Alisya."
"Josh."
"I will win."
"No you won't"
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"You need a nurse and I've sure your mother want to know your awake so she can yell at me again."
"She yelled at you?"
"No."
"Alisya."
"Ugh fine yes she did. She yelled at me blaming me for what happened and then slapped me." I rubbed my cheek."
"SHE DID WHAT?"
The door burst open.
Speak of the devil and the devil will appear. "Josh!" she yelled. She ran to the bed and pushed me off. I landed on the floor with a low "thud" My head hit the floor hard. I heard it crack and I landed hard on my side with my arm under me.
"Ashley."
"Alisya."
I tried sitting up but the pain in my head was strong. I saw black dots everywhere. I felt a pain run all the way up my side and into my shoulder. I felt someone help me up.
"Thanks Mr. Taylor."
"Come on Alisya. I need to get you back to your room. You've done more damage to your head."
"Mom, What the hell was that for?"
"It's her fault your here in the first place."
"NO it's not. I screwed up last night and I was trying to make it better."
"Josh. Don't be mad. I'm fine. Really."
"No your not."
I couldn't see much and I was being supported by Mr. Taylor. My head was getting heavier. I couldn't feel it. It got darker and darker. Then everything went black.
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