(AN– Graff quote^^)
"Ender we need to talk about this!"
Valentine raced after her brother as he stepped out of the I.F. vehicle, and started to walk up the ramp to the launch ship.
"What's there to talk about, Val?" He turned around and let the other three, but not without a stern look from Graff, pass them by.
"Are you really just going to get on a ship and go back up there without any knowledge about what you'll actually be doing?"
Ender nodded. "But I know what I'm doing, Valentine."
"But you haven't been here, Ender! You don't know that the International Fleet is half as powerful as it used to be. While you were gone, the Russians disbanded, the Second Warsaw Pact was forged by Russian members of the Fleet! And not to mention, Graff hasn't told you anything! He.."
"When has he ever told me anything?!" He cut her off. "I told you, I know what I'm doing, and even though it looks like he holds all of the cards, I understand what I have to do."
Valentine shook her head. She was getting impatient. "My point is, I don't want you giving your life for whatever incredibly dangerous job he has planned for you. Despite what you believe Ender, I know, deep down, that you will be able to have the normal life that you want."
"If you think that, you're naive. Val, I understand now." Ender made a point of smiling, and Valentine wasn't sure if it was supposed to be real or seem forced. Either way, she wasn't convinced. "I understand that my life has never been mine to control. The court martial was only ever an illusion, a show for the world to think that I have a say in what happens to me. But the truth is that I don't! I never did and I accept that now. It doesn't matter what I want from life, or what I think would make me happy."
While he explained this, Valentine began to see what was really going on. Ender was giving up, and he felt as though compliance was his only option.
"My job is to be a tool that humanity can wield for the good of everyone. This is bigger than me, and you, and even Peter. Because at the end of the day, there would be nothing for him to rule if I wasn't here to save everyone from killing everything good about humanity. That includes the imminent death of the entire human race if this keeps happening."
"Ender.." Valentine didn't know the right thing to say.
"You don't need to say anything." He said. "If you want to help me save the world again, this time of my own knowledge, then please come. If not, I suggest you go back to mother and father. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to have you home again."
"I will always stand by you, Ender. You know that, don't you?"
He nodded. "Of course I do, but like I said, this is beyond us."
"It doesn't matter." She said solemnly. "What matters is that even though you've given up on your own life, I haven't. And I'm coming because even though you seem content, I'm not giving up. Because if there is a chance that there's some sliver of you that still believes, that's the little brother I want to find, and bring back home with me."
Ender frowned. "It's not like I don't want a somewhat normal life, Valentine. It's just.. I'm done pretending that it'll actually happen. It's been proven time and time again that it won't, and I don't want live my life in a fantasy. You shouldn't hold onto the idea either."
Valentine opened her mouth to speak, but Ender put up a hand.
"Funnily enough, Graff helped me see my life for how it is. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know he's dictated me for years. But now I realize that he didn't have much of a choice, and if I had to choose between my happiness and the world's, the choice would be simple. Sure, initially I was furious with him, but how can you stay angry at someone who is putting the well being of humanity before anyone else? You can't. It just took me a little longer to see that. He didn't purposely try to make my life a living hell."
He paused before he continued.
"Well, yeah he did, I'm not trying to expunge his sins. He did terrible things to me and he continues to do awful things, but Val, I'm okay with that. What will it take for you to realize that?"
"Nothing." Valentine looked at her little brother, heartbreak evident in her eyes. "Because as long as I'm with you, I'll live in that fantasy that you want to forget, and I will keep trying to make it a reality until finally, one day, it is. I understand that this is what you have to do, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you were going into battle with your head screwed on straight! This rational, as true as it is, is stupid! You need to have something else to live for, Ender! Even if it's just wanting the people you care about alive and happy! Something! Because without a purpose, you'll find yourself in the midst of a battle, and you're going to let yourself die. Do you know why? It'll be because you don't care. You'll have given up everything that's worth living for. You may think that being apart for years made you a complete stranger to me, but you're forgetting that, deep down, I still know you Ender! And I won't stand by and watch as you descend into a hole that you can't get yourself out of."
"I would never willingly die in battle! I'm not insane! And I wouldn't die when the world needs me alive to save them."
"My point exactly!" Valentine fumed. "Right now the best interest of the world is that you live, so you'll live. What if one day, the best thing for the world would be if you died? I'm sure with your attitude you'd die, wouldn't you? Because even though you have people who would be absolutely crushed, you only care about humanity as a whole! Not your family, or yourself for that matter!"
"Enough of this!" Ender yelled. Valentine knew that she was getting somewhere, since if she wasn't right, he wouldn't be getting angry at her.
"I'm only stating the truth. If you want to forget about everything important and focus on the war, by all means. But don't you dare think for one second that I'm okay with it. Because at the end of the day, if you decide that nothing is more important, and you die, you'll be hurting me! And even though you won't be here to know it, I will tell you now. You'll destroy me, and I will never forgive you for that."
The words stung like daggers as they pierced into Ender's heart. Valentine wasn't wrong. Then again, she hardly ever was, but he never imagined that she could hurt him as much as she just did.
"Why can't you just let me do this? If not for me, but for mother, father, and even Peter?"
She laughed, a stone cold cackle. "You still don't get it. I don't care if you go off and fight. What I care about is if there'll be anything left of you afterwards."
"You know that isn't up to me to decide. I can't help it if I'm murdered!"
"Yeah, but you can go in there knowing that you'll have a place in the world after it's over!" She hissed.
The resemblance between her and Peter, was almost frightening. She used the same malicious tone, had the same fiery look in her eyes, and appeared ready to kill. So much so, Ender took a step back. Valentine seemed to realize this and softened.
"Just, remember that when you win, you can have a family and a life here. That is what's important, and most importantly, that's what you deserve."
Ender dropped his slight defence, realizing the ridiculousness of it, and couldn't help but show a hint of a smile. He knew that Valentine was right, and if he was being honest, she had just saved him from doing something he would've regretted. He knew that she was too good for him, but he inwardly thanked her, even if he didn't show any gratitude.
Knowing that she'd gotten through to him, Valentine retreated to a calmer topic, and they continued to walk, side by side, until they entered the ship.
* * * * * * * *
"Okay, listen up!" Colonel Graff stood at the front of the shuttle as Ender and Valentine entered the aircraft.
They could both hear Graff from where they stood at the top of the ramp, as Ender led Valentine to the familiar ladder that descended, or ascended to the rows of passenger seats. The carpeted walls didn't interest him like the first time, and even though he knew that it wasn't the same shuttle that'd taken him up to the Battle School before, it was identical, and it brought many memories of Ender's past to the surface.
"Don't let yourself get disoriented from the carpets." He turned to look at Valentine who was probably wondering why every surface was carpeted to serve as a floor. "And don't try to find a distinct up or down. That'll only make you nauseous. Once we take off, there is no up or down in space. You get to choose, and the directions are always changing depending on how you're oriented."
His sister only nodded, seeming to immediately understand, and Ender didn't doubt that she did. After all, she was just as smart, or possibly even smarter at some things, than he was.
"Hurry up and climb up there." She teased. "Unless you're too chicken, then I'll gladly go first."
He jabbed her in the arm, which only caused her grin to widen. So in response, Ender began to climb up the ladder. When he got to the top, or bottom (again, there's no correct orientation) Ender couldn't believe his eyes. Graff was still standing at the front of course, so his view was partially blocked. Though, behind the older, somewhat fit looking Colonel, were at least a dozen children... and they were all wearing the unmistakable flashy bright yellow launchy uniforms.
Valentine stood beside him as she got to her feet, and she didn't make a move to go forward either.
"New recruits?" She whispered to Ender so her voice wouldn't carry over Graff's.
"They must be." Ender replied. "I don't recognize a single one of them."
That wasn't entirely true, however, since they could clearly see Petra and Bean sitting alone at a row of seats in the back. They were separate from the other children, who looked to be at max 8 years old, but weren't so far away from them to the extent to where they didn't have to listen to Graff talk.
"We should go sit with Bean and Petra." Valentine pointed out, but as soon as she said it, Graff finished his viciously toned introduction, and turned toward them.
"Finally." He said quietly to Ender specifically. "If you weren't here by the time I was done, I would've sent a man to get you."
Ender shrugged, and Graff continued. "Launchies!" He hollered, and motioned for Ender to stand beside him. He obliged, and immediately noticed the looks of disbelief that registered on pretty much all of the children's faces, as soon as he walked into the light.
"Clearly, I don't need to tell you who this is." Graff said. "But I'm still going to dumb it down for you because I'm almost positive none of you have any brains at all!"
I guess he's still going for the 'everyone on this launch isn't even capable of dressing themselves kind of deal', Ender thought to himself. Regardless of his off topic thoughts, he kept a straight face in front of the children, since he didn't want any of them thinking that they knew anything about him. At least, being hard to read was something he was good at.
"This is Admiral 'Ender' Wiggin."
Great. Back to being professional. Ender wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained.
"From now on, he is your father!" Snickers were heard amongst the group, and Ender didn't really like where this seemed to be going either.
"Do you think any of this is funny?!"
A shrill of "No sir" was heard, and the laughter died down.
"Good! Because it isn't! And if any of you think it's funny, then get off my launch ship!"
Silence.
"Now, Admiral Wiggin is and will always be your father as long as you are in the Battle School! Do you know why?"
Ender knew this was a trick question. Graff only wanted to yell at whoever was brave enough to put up their hand. So he was genuinely surprised when nobody took the bait. He had to admit, they're smarter than some of the kids who were in his launch group. Then again, with all of the leaked I.F. files on the nets because of the court martial, these kids were bound to find a thing or two on there about what to do and not to do at Battle School. Nonetheless, he was no longer impressed.
"Fine! I guess you're all too dumb, so I'll just lay it out flat. Ende.. excuse me, Admiral Wiggin is your ticket to an army! Once you're in the Battle School absolutely none of you will move up in the ranks unless you prove to HIM that you are good enough! So, just like your own fathers, you want his approval, his guidance! Well, you're going to have to earn that! Because I will tell you right now that Ender is not here to waste his time training a launchy who doesn't have what it takes! Not one person in battle school has time to waste on a stupid Pinhead! So work hard, be a suck up, and don't let anybody get in your way!"
The children were all wide eyed when he finished. Ender wondered how they'd respond to such abruptness, and was about to analyze their expressions to figure it out, until Graff handed him the floor.
"Admiral, if you will."
"Thank you Colonel," Ender made sure to call Graff by his title, and cleared his throat. "Welcome to the International Fleet." Or what's left of it, is what he didn't bother to say. "You may be thinking that this is going to be just like when I defeated the Buggers. I'm sure you've all seen tapes on the nets of Battle School life by now." Once again, he was alluding to the mass breach of information that the martial caused.
He received a few half nods.
"Well you're wrong! This is going to be nothing like facing the Buggers because in reality, when my jeesh and I went to war, we weren't fighting millions of individually intelligent life forms. We were facing one mind. Humanity is more evolved to the extent that we have millions of distinct thinking patterns. And that means millions of strategies! The Buggers only moved as fast as their single mind worked. That means that they could only carry out one maneuver at a time. This time, we're going to have to anticipate attacks from everywhere! and they're all going to be different."
Ender stopped, just to see if they were following along, and to his surprise, they were hanging onto his every word.
"That's why you're here. Because of the ongoing war, the I.F. was not able to re-enlist all of the former Battle School students, and without them, we need more soldiers. Your goal in training for this war won't be to beat everyone else like I did. All of you will need to work together to collectively become an unstoppable army. Because that's what we need! I can't win this battle with just my jeesh this time! No single human being is capable of thinking fast enough on their own to account for every possible scenario, when thousands of independent individuals are working against them. That's why, I'm here to train each and every one of you. As long as you hold potential, you work as hard as your bodies will let you, and you show up, you will be a part of this war in one way or another!"
Ender stayed serious the entire time he spoke, but couldn't help but feel glad at the end. Despite what Valentine thought, and despite what he was trying to convince himself, he still couldn't help but be pleased. Maybe after this is over I'll finally be free. Hopefully, I can have that life that I've always wanted. The thought was subconsciously conjured up in his mind.
He still had hope. And as bleak as their situation was, even having a little hope could go a long way.
Ender took a seat beside Bean after finishing his speech, and Valentine followed suit. She sat at the end of the row to his right, and they both buckled in. On his way to sit, though, he couldn't ignore the small claps that came from a few of the launchies. Valentine gave him a celebratory look, which he returned with a nudge, but he knew then that these kids would follow him, and there was no question about it. His speech had already won them over.
* * * * * * * *
"Peter Wiggin."
Peter could hear his name being called even before he rounded the corner to the cafeteria, and frankly, the informality made him a little skeptical. Who were these people?
"We've been waiting for a while." A tall, bald African American man stood up from where he was sitting at one of the tables, just as Peter slithered across the room. The man stuck out his hand in greeting and Peter shook it, though not without suspicion.
"If you were set on seeing me right away, you should've let me know you were coming, Mr.?" Peter said as he shook the man's hand.
He appeared to be middle-aged, wrinkles forming around his eyes when he smiled, and even though Peter was barely nineteen years old, he had a couple of inches on the stranger. That was a good thing though, since his height made him feel more confident in the man's presence.
"Grenleigh Staph." The man answered, his smile still gracing his features. It made the eldest Wiggin believe that he was trying a little too hard to earn his approval. And if the man had actually known Peter at all, it was that a fake attitude caused immediate suspicion.
Though, Peter acted as though he didn't care. Instead, he gave the man a dashing smile, as he let go of his hand. "And who are your colleagues?"
"This is Sam and Matt." Grenleigh replied, gesturing to each of them.
Peter glanced at the two who gave him a similar smile as to what Mr. Staph gave him, but his attention was still on the latter. All three of the men, the other two appearing to be European with their light skin and light hair colour, wore military grade I.F. uniforms. That made Peter relax a bit. Clearly, they were International Fleet. At least that helped lesson Peter's suspicions about whether or not they were here to assassinate him.
"So, what would you gentlemen like?" He asked casually.
Mr. Staph replied just as nonchalantly. "We were trying to get in touch with Admiral Rackham before we were told of the urgent business that he had to leave for."
"Yes, that was rather abrupt, wasn't it?"
"Well it's no issue. I'm sure you'd be able to help us with what we need."
"Which is?"
"Please, take a seat. We should really discuss the matter in full."
Peter sat down, just as Grenleigh pulled out a chair for him, and the others sat down as well.
"Before we begin, Mr. Wiggin, I must tell you," Mr. Staph started. He brushed a hand through his midnight black hair, which Peter observed was actually that colour because of hair dye. "we have a problem."
–AN
Here's update number two as promised! This is sort of a cliff hanger, though I tried not to end things too bad because, come on, I don't wanna be that mean and leave you absolutely confused. But anyway, I had SO much fun writing this one! I just love everything about it! And I can't wait to start writing about Battle School. Mini spoiler: I LOVE the battle room, so they are going to be going in there.
Also, I will try to update asap. Though if I don't update for a while, I may be trying to do two chapters at the same time like what I did right now. I kind of think I might like it this way anyway. That way, I think you'll get more content.
This is off topic, but I really wanna share! So after I graduated in June I haven't been doing much. I've really just been trying to figure out my life, and what I wanna do with it.. yeah yeah. And it's been difficult. I would be lying if it wasn't. But anyway, today is actually a really good day and that's what I wanna share! For one, I got a letter today saying I got accepted into College for next year! I also got a package in the mail I've been waiting for, and finally, I got a call for a job interview! I know to some people it's not that exciting, but I literally could not stop smiling.
A little back story: I live in an incredibly small town in Canada and it is extremely difficult to get a job here right now! I have been trying for months! And I'm not 18 so I can't work at the many places that serve alcohol. Anyway, the interview is for the only clothing store/convenience store in town, and needless to say, I'm excited! The recession that's also in my town hasn't been helping, but hey, I think my luck's changing. So, yeah. That's the end of my happy story. Thanks for reading!
Also, thank you so so much for reading this chapter and this book. the comments and reads make me smile and make me wanna keep writing. I think about the people I entertain every time I write, and it's awesome. So even though I say it at the end of every chapter, I genuinely mean it.
See you in the next update (where you will see Ender in Battle School),
–Jess xx