Hmmm... now you know the story. Like Shannon said, it destroyed me the most. I still blame myself to this day. But I keep that behind me, leave the past behind. I'll forever keep running from the past.
Blake and I get dressed to go to The Panther. I look at Blake wearing his suit and I wonder as to why I forgave him? Is love really that powerful? Love makes you do crazy things, I'm glad it made me do this crazy thing.
"Rachel, I know I'm to die for but you can't keep staring at me. We have to go," he says with a smirk on his face. I smile and nod at him. I grab my purse and we leave.
"Have a great night out Mr and Mrs King," says the receptionist.
"Thank you, have a great night too," I say giving her a small smile.
When we are outside The Panther my nerves get the best of me. I haven't been here in ages. Blake notices how nervous I am. "Rachel, it'll be okay. We are just her to get a package and leave. Okay?"
"Okay," I whisper.
We go to the front door and the bouncer immediately lets us in, that's what Versace can do for you.
When we enter smooth music is playing. It's making me want to curl in warm blankets and watch a movie with my mom. Blake and I immediately go straight to the bar. When we get there I see a girl whose name tag read Jennifer. I point her out to Blake. Blake whispers in my ear he'll do the talking. He's a smooth talker. He asks Jennifer to speak in private, she agrees.
I'm now left alone, in a bar and my anxiety is sky-rocketing through the roof. I order myself cold water with lots of ice to call myself down. Minutes go by and Blake isn't back.
"Rachel! Is that you? Oh my god it is you!"
I turn around and I see Hailey and Marcus. When I first came to The Panther Hailey and Marcus made me feel welcome.
"Hailey. Marcus. How are you guys?" I say hugging them.
"Well we are alright. How are you holding up?" asks Marcus.
"I'm fine. Two years away from this town gave me a clear head," I say taking a sip of my water.
"Are you here alone?" Hailey asks raising an eyebrow.
"No, I'm here with a... friend," I say.
"Guy or girl?" Marcus asks.
"Does it matter?" I ask.
"Ah! So it is a guy," Marcus says laughing, Hailey joins in too.
"Ha ha yea."
"So what bring you here? Partying? Drugs? Alcohol? What?" Hailey asks.
"I just came here to see this place again," I say.
"Boring. Well anyway enjoy yourself Rachel. Marcus and I are here for you," Hailey says kissing my cheek.
"Goodbye kiddo," Marcus says hugging me.
"Goodbye Marcus. Goodbye Hailey."
I knew that goodbye was forever. Tears stung my eyes, a tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. They meant the world to me, they helped me through hard times. I loved them so much. They were the only ones from my past I wouldn't mind keeping. Oh and they're married. 14 years strong.
"Hey, you okay?" Blake says interrupting my thoughts.
"Um yea, did you get the package?" I ask.
"Yes. Let's go."
"Yea we should-"
"Rachel!"
"Hailey?"
"Kiddo, I love you like a daughter I never had. Be safe out there," she says handing me a locket.
"Marcus loves you too," she says. I hug her, she was like a second mom, well her and Marcus were a second family I'd take a bullet for.
"Good goodbye kiddo," she says as a tear rolls down her face.
"Good goodbye mom," I say hugging her tight.
She leaves Blake and I alone. I open the locket and inside is a picture of the very first picture we all took together and the last.
Blake and I left the club and I was happy he didn't say anything. We got into the car.
Ring ring
Rachel: what?
Chris: no hello?
Rachel: hello, what do you want?
Chris: I assume you got the package?
Rachel: (I look at Blake for confirmation and he nods yes) yes
Chris: open it.
Blake takes it out and we open it. Inside is a picture of all of us at the beach.
Chris: That beach is where you'll find something very important at the Beach house. Bye.
"Hm... should we go tomorrow?" Blake asks.
"Yes."
He drives back to the hotel. When we get to the room I undress and wear pj's and I curl up in the blankets and I cry. I don't know why but my hormones were acting up. I cried and cried and cried and Blake held me through the sobs and shaking. He kept saying shh over and over again trying to calm me down. After a while I stopped. He wiped the tears of my face and kissed my forehead.
"Rachel what's wrong?" He asks.
"I... I don't know," I say looking down at my hands.
"Baby you do know. What's wrong?"
"I've said goodbye too many times and I'm tired of it. Blake people leave me. Shannon left, my mom left, my dad basically left me and all I have is you."
"Rachel-"
"I'm not done. Blake (I say looking into his chocolate brown eyes) stay." He hugs me so tightly. For the first time in 2 years I finally felt safe in the arms of another person.
The next day Blake and I set off to the beach house. It's a 2 hour drive from the hotel. I decided to wear:
On the way to the beach house we stopped for breakfast. I had eggs, 2 sausages, bacon, a hash brown and a slice of toast. Blake had eggs, 2 sausages, bacon, 4 hash browns, 4 slices of toast and a slice of un-toasted bread and a big glass of orange juice whilst I had water, I know I'm boring. Deal with it.
When we got to the beach house I nearly cried. The view was so beautiful, words couldn't describe how the sun's rays danced with the ocean waves or how smoothly the boats danced with the sea. No one could describe the joy and laughter coming from small children playing in the water and playing with the sand. No one could describe the relaxed feeling.
When Blake and I walked in a wave of memories hit me. But memories are of the past and the past is behind me. Blake and I walk around looking at the house. When we went upstairs there was a room at the end of the corridor labeled Rachel and Blake. We stepped foot inside and we saw pictures of Shannon. No, not just smiling pictures of her, we saw pictures of her body when she hit the ground, we saw pictures of her in the hospital, we saw pictures of the harm she inflicted on herself. But there was one picture in the middle of the room with candles burning around it, it was a picture of me and her. A timer went off and the candles burnt the picture and behind the ash was BETRAYAL written in bright red colors.
I was on the verge of crying. Why was this happening?
"Oh I see you got my little surprise," Chris says coming from behind us.
"Chris what are you doing here?" Blake asks.
"Well I came to see this moment. It's quite hilarious actually."
"How is it funny?" I ask with anger in my tone.
"Well you see Rachel, you betrayed her the most out of all of us. I mean you were her very first friend. Her very first best friend. And because of gossiping you wanted to get back at her. You took it too far."
"Stop talking!" I say screaming.
"Rachel."
"What?!"
"You can't run away from this forever!"
"Watch me!"
"Agh no! You'll face this. Rachel you deserve this. Here is a DVD of the videos Shannon recorded before she died. Have fun listening to them," Chris says tossing the DVD to me. I catch it. He turns around and walks away but stops.
"Till next time Rachel." And he is gone.
I start crying. Tears keep on pouring and pouring. Blake is hugging me. I'm glad I have him.
"Let's go back to the hotel, I want to watch this," I say wiping the rest of the tears off my face.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Blake then takes my hand and we walk out of the house.
We drive back to the hotel, on the way stopping to buy some food.
When we get to the room I take a shower, a nice hot, relaxing shower. When I get out Blake has set up snacks; fries, fizzy drinks, coke, chocolate and cake.
I put the DVD in the DVD thingy. There is only one video.
This what Shannon is saying:
To Rachel
You were my best friend. How could you have done this to me? Rachel I know you and you're going to want to run away from the past but hunny listen, you couldn't save me and I hope you learnt your lesson. I hope you went for my funeral but knowing you, you didn't because it was too hard for you to handle. Rachel I made this video for you. Blake and Chris don't get a video. Lucky you huh? Rachel please don't do the things you did in the past to anyone else. I think you already know that. I want to keep this really short. Rachel, you and I both know you weren't truthful to Blake and Chris like how they weren't truthful to you. Chris isn't a private person and you know the things he did. Rachel, Blake I know you're watching this. Rachel and Blake come clean with one another. Blake tell her about that night when you got angry and stormed out of her house and you came over to mine and Rachel tell Blake and Chris the real reason I committed suicide. Yes you three and the school and my sister's ex boyfriend may have contributed. But tell them the real reason why you cried before I died. This is being filmed September 13th 8am. Rachel knowing you and knowing what you asked me and my response I know you would cry. I want to end this by saying, Rachel speak to someone. Don't hold it all in. It'll kill you. Goodbye my only best friend, my enemy. Sending you hugs and kisses from above. I'll give in a good word for you here, haha. I love you Rachel.
"I love you too Shannon," I say biting my lip trying to stop the tears.
Ring ring
Rachel: yes Chris?
Chris: Warehouse Blue, 12 midnight. Be there. You and Blake.
Rachel: okay.
I look at Blake and I see sadness and regret in his eyes, his eyes are a dark shade of brown, no chocolate brown. I go over to him and hug him, he wraps his hand around my waist. I kiss him on his forehead, he puts his head on my shoulder and he cries. "Let it all out baby," I purr.