I clumsily followed along as the four boys in front of me loudly entered the garage, shoving each other along the way and pushing over a couple of mic stands. My eyes were wide and my arms were folded across my chest in an attempt to look as unnoticable as possible, which was not exactly realistic but it was my instinct to do so. They all spread out around the area, grabbing noise-cancelling headphones, plugging in their instruments, starting to warm up. The boys had clearly done this hundreds of times before, yet I felt so lost.
Gabe started playing a beat on his drum kit and I instantly reached for the headphones too, not feeling like having my ear drums explode from how loud it was. He started off with something simple until the other guys were ready and I watched as Justin began to play an interesting bass line to go along with it. From their facial expressions, it seemed as though they were improvising on the spot, yet it sounded so good it might as well have been rehearsed for days.
I stood in awe, as I noticed Vic watching Justin's fingers, carefully assessing the notes he was playing on, before being able to join in himself with chords which perfectly matched what was already going on. My eyes were glued to him, gazing at how he passionately strummed his electric guitar and moved to the rhythm of the music. Jack had joined in too, playing a solo which was like the cherry on top of the cake.
This continued for a few minutes and a smile grew on my face more with every moment. Everything about this was amazing. I loved being in the presence of music and having such talented people around me gave me a boost of energy which I needed to release.
On the other hand though, I felt worried. All of these guys were brilliant at their instruments, so maybe my voice would not be good enough for it.
The rock tune finally came to an end with everyone perfectly finishing on the same note, and I figured that this was a warm up for them: just improvising something interesting on the spot.
The four boys smiled around at each other, clearly pleased with themselves and what they had created out of the improvisation. Energy hung like a cloud above everyone, radiating this pleasant feeling onto us. I took off my headphones when they did so, as they walked around to all the amps, silencing them.
I felt like I was on a high with how happy everyone around me seemed. The group then expectantly turned to me, leaving me taken aback, but I awkwardly forced out, "That was really good, you guys are great."
"That was just improv, wait 'til you hear our original stuff," grinned Justin confidently. I nodded, knowing that what he was saying was probably true; their original songs must be great.
"So, sing something," said Jack and my eyes widened. I had not really thought this far ahead. Clearly, I knew that I would have to sing at some point but, as soon as the matter was brought up, I felt self-conscious. Silently, my mind was cursing out the guidance counsellor.
"Like what?" I asked quietly. Why did I have to be so shy around people? It was not like I had a good reason to; it was just my subconscious telling me that everything I said sounded stupid and that they were judging my every move. It was clearly not true, and quite selfish as well, but I could not stop these thoughts.
"Anything one of us knows. We can play something quiet for you to sing over, so that you have a backing track of sorts, but we can still hear your voice. That way we can figure out what kind of stuff to play in the future, to fit how you can sing," explained Jack, seemingly the only serious one of them all. That was nice though; it was good to have a balance.
I could not help but stare at them blankly. Out of all the songs out there, I had to pick one to sing and prove myself. This was a test after all, but a lot less formal than what I expected.
Seeing the lost expression on my face, Vic became my saviour and came to my rescue, by beginning to name some music which I might be familiar with.
"Hmm, do you know any Blink-182?" He asked. I thought about it, then shook my head. In reality, I did know their music and liked them a lot, but my voice did not suit their songs at all.
"MCR?" Vic continued. This time I truthfully shook my head.
"Muse?"
My ears perked up at that, "Yeah I know a few Muse songs."
Before I knew it, we had picked a song which both of us knew and Vic was setting up his electric guitar, making it sound soft in contrary to the roughness I had heard before. Everyone watched on as he began playing the first four chords, apparently already knowing them beforehand, repeating them until I could finally join in.
I took a deep breath, using the method of imagining that I was alone, in my bedroom, in order to be more confident. Vic gave me an encouraging smile which was so friendly that it almost gave me hope that I would do okay.
Finally, when Vic was coming back to the beginning of the chord sequence, I let my voice quietly ring out, singing the lyrics which I had memorised through listening to the song for years. My voice, just like the last time I sang, was shaky and barely audible. My hands were trembling just as much. Vic had turned down his guitar a bit for the others to hear me but, when I opened my eyes I saw that all of them were still leaning in to hear better.
I clenched my fists and urged myself to sing louder, at last reaching some sort of a normal volume. As soon as they could properly hear me, smiles dawned on the faces of the listeners, giving me the boost of confidence that I needed.
Slowly but surely, Vic began changing the settings on his guitar, while never stopping the chords, for the sound to become more rough. It caught an edge and was more distorted, seeming like the proper rock it was supposed to be. I knew what he was trying to do: changing the sound to see if my voice would suit it and, sure as hell, it did. I sang more strongly and loudly to adapt.
When the song finally came to an end, I looked up to see everyone beaming at me and seeming impressed. I shyly looked down at my lap, avoiding their eyes again.
"You're as good as Vic said you were," commented Gabe nonchalantly. I took it as a compliment.
"Yeah, you're amazing!" Agreed Justin excitedly. "Now I'm really pumped to start properly making music and playing shows again."
The mention of playing shows sent shivers down my spine, but I decided to push it to the side for now and focus on what was currently going on. Being here in the first place was a big step in overcoming my issues, so singing to a real audience was a distant goal which I was not ready for yet.
Later, the band played me a couple of their original songs, wrote a few guitar riffs (which they recorded into a laptop that sat in the corner of the room) and got me to sing a few more songs. I could tell that they were very serious about it, however the day was not really too productive. This was because they were a band, but they were also a group of best friends, so they got distracted easily and messed around a lot. Surprisingly, I did not mind, as it only gave a friendlier vibe and, although we needed to get things done, what was the point if we were not having fun while doing it?
Finally, the clock hit eight and the boys were scattering away. Vic offered to walk me home, as the only route I knew was from my house to school, and back, and I gratefully accepted. It was still light outside, as it was spring and we were only a bit over a month away from summer vacation. I told Vic the name of my street and he apparently knew where it was, so I let him lead me.
"You were really good today," Vic complimented. I instantly blushed, mostly from embarrassment, as I knew he only said this because he was aware that I had problems with confidence.
"Thanks," I muttered, shoving my hands into my pockets. It was a bit awkward, as neither of us really knew each other yet we were being pushed so close by this band. I hoped that I would not regret this decision.
"It's still early; do you wanna hang out some more? We could, like, go to the park or something," Vic offered after a short period of silence.
"No, sorry, my parents are expecting me home soon," I shoved my hands into my pockets. In reality, although my parents were very strict, they never told me what time I needed to be home. I liked Vic - he seemed nice and I felt bad about turning his offer down - but after a day of so many new experiences, many of which pushed me far out of my comfort zone, I needed some time alone as soon as possible. It was fun, but so overwhelming too, and I wanted to digest it all, before I ended up exploding from how much unfamiliarity was being shoved in my direction.
After a while of walking, we finally came to a familiar street. Even though I could have found my way from there, and I even told Vic so, he preferred to walk me right to my door. As soon as we were outside of my house, I turned to Vic with a small smile.
"Thanks for, uh, everything, I guess. Today was really fun," I confessed.
"It's whatever," Vic dismissed. "By the way, you can sit with us at lunch if you want to."
"Really?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, everyone really likes you," Vic beamed and I could not help but blush.
After that, Vic and I said our goodbyes and I stepped into my house, realising that I already could not wait for our next practice.