L E O N I E
Monday's should be illegal. I believe that some countries are even going as far as including Monday's into their weekends. Which sounds fucking fantastic but eventually Tuesday's turn into the new Monday's and then it's shit central again.
This particular Monday is shit because Jess know's that I'm hiding something from her and she won't let up on finding out what it is. Usually I would tell her to shut the hell up before I call her mom and express my concern over the fact that Jess has joined a sister wives cult and is pregnant with her husband's seventeenth child.
But I kind of want to tell her about Heath and the kiss. Because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since it happened. It shouldn't have happened. But my self control went straight out the window when he looked at me with those fuck me eyes and his big strong hands held my waist.
Heath is the definition of 'your daughter calls me daddy too' when he's getting his shmack on.
However, as hot and dominant as he is, he's sweet and caring and considerate too. He's definitely 'bring him home to meet the parents material'. He shouldn't get to be both versions and do it so damn well.
It was a jackpot in the men department and girls would literally sell their souls for that kind of man.
I mean, fuck, he had a raging hard on, his finger half way up my V hole and my tits in his face and he stopped the moment that I told him to.
Which, should be standard manners. But these days a man's brain lives in his balls and it ends up getting smothered by all of the cum that ends up bursting to get out.
He hadn't tried to keep it up. Hadn't packed a tantrum. Hadn't gone cold on me. He was so damn sweet that it hurt to ignore his messages when he'd checked in to make sure that I was alright.
But I couldn't text him back. I needed to put a bit of space between us because I was falling into some deep fucking feels and this bitch was not drowning anytime soon.
"It's Heath, right?" Jess gave me a sad smile and nodded as if she was a damn mind reading medium. "What happened?"
"Do tell," Bray tore a bite off his sandwich and watched me, waiting expectantly. It was just the three of us at our outdoor concrete lunch table. The canvas sails that stretched from one side of the court to the other, were keeping the sun off us.
"Come on," Jess pleaded when I kept tight lip. "We won't tell."
"Won't tell who?" I pressed.
"Anyone. The others. Whoever."
"Lies," I scoffed. "You're a fucking walking TMZ article."
"I am not."
"Fine," I leaned forward on my elbows, deciding that I wanted to boast a little bit. I'd regret telling her. I knew that already. But whatever. "Heath an—"
"Nice tits."
I looked over Jess and Bray at a freshman walking past our table.
I peered down and my top two buttons were undone, as usual, but the table top was squishing my boobs up and together. It might have been a bit much cleavage to pass dress code but I still looked up at the kid with disgust.
He was one of those dipshits who had more confidence and ego than a fifteen year old needed. His white blonde hair was pushed back and his body hadn't caught up to his head. When underdeveloped teenagers tried to swagger, they looked like they had a bad limp.
Where did this confidence come from? Dad's with too much cash and not enough morals I'd guess. He looked like a little wank that told the hired help to get his juice boxes and cut up his sandwiches.
I opened my mouth to snap back at him, not needing to it would seem.
Bray turned and looked behind him. "Bro," he shouted and the kid, plus his friends, flinched in surprise. "I'll open your head on this fucking table if you don't shut the fuck up."
Jess and I laughed, along with a few of the other close tables, as the infants stalked off, fast, with their heads hung low in embarrassment.
"Continue," Bray turned around and rested his chin on his fist. Jess was looking at him like she wanted to blow him right here. So I picked up where I left off.
"Heath and I kissed."
Jess whipped her head towards me. Her lips parted.
"Oh and if we're going for full detail, he touched my clit. But nothing else happened."
"How come?" Bray absentmindedly twirled a strand of Jess's hair around his finger. She was still too stunned to pick up the questioning.
"Because— because I couldn't. It's too much with him. I feel too much."
"What does that even mean?!" Jess was back and she was shifting, her hands slapped the concrete table top.
"It means that I like him and it's freaking me out," I confessed, not looking right at her. "I kiss-kiss like him, Jess."
"What the fuck is kiss-kiss?" Bray snorted and Jess slapped a hand across his face to silence him. I think that it was meant to cover his mouth, but he recoiled and waved her off when her palm rested on his nose and eyes.
"Kiss-kiss like?" She looked like she was going to weep. Geez. That was the last thing that I could tolerate. "Really?!"
"Someone explain?" Bray held his palms up, waiting for elaboration.
"Kiss- kiss like is the big deal crush," Jess was still watching me with hearts in her eyes. "It's the step before love. It's what I told Leonie when I told her how I felt about you, Bray."
His brows raised with pleasant surprise and he pointed at his chest. "Huh. Cute."
"It's not a big deal," I said and pushed my tray forward. My appetite was gone. Thinking about how I was beginning to feel about Heath made my stomach do stupid things and I hated it almost as much as I liked him.
"So is that why you went home with some random dude from the club?" Bray asked. "Jade was pissed about that by the way."
"He knew how old I was," I scowled, ignoring his observation. It wouldn't have been a hard conclusion to come to. But Bray knew me so well and sometimes it was a curse.
I caught site of Alex, Ethan and Amy approaching the table with their lunch, so I straightened up and silenced Jess and Bray with a scolding look. Alex sat beside Bray, Ethan and Amy sat beside me. She was fiddling with her nose piercing and complaining that it felt infected.
"Shit dude," Bray pointed at Amy's box of lunch and scoffed. "Jade's old rabbit ate more food than that. You know Vegan's don't have to reduce their diets to grass."
Amy rolled her eyes at him.
"Lee," Alex said from across the table. "What are you planning to do for your birthday?"
"No plan so far."
My birthday was next Wednesday. Eighteen. Usually, I would have something planned. A get together. A beach bash. Whatever. But time had crept up on me this year and I wasn't prepared at all. No bother though, it wouldn't be hard to throw something together.
"Ooh," Amy's eyes lit up with excitement. "What about a group hypnotherapy session? We could all go together."
"It's a hard no," I said. "Don't invite me to your birthday if that's your idea of celebrating."
Jess nodded in agreement from the other side of the table. Bray was picking the meat off her mini pizza while she curled into his side. Cuties.
"What about paintball this coming weekend?" Alex suggested, quiet, as he pushed his fringe off his face. "There's a place a few hours out of town that have a good set up."
"That sounds fun," Ethan agreed. Which earned him a scowl from his girlfriend who had not been verbal in his support for a hypnotherapy session.
Jess nodded. "But it's up to Lee."
"Paintball could be fun," I agreed. "What better chance to shoot Bray in the balls with a non fatal weapon?"
He scoffed and flipped me off. "Jade will let us have drinks at her place afterwards."
"Well count us out of that," Amy said, looking down at her salad while she forked through it, looking for, what, another shade of green?
Ethan gave her a brief curt glance but didn't argue with his mom— I mean misses.
"You don't have to drink Amy. But come anyway?" I gave her a nudge in the side but she just looked up and shrugged.
"Not my scene. I'm not interested. Don't take it personally. I'll be there for paintball."
I peered past her before I was tempted to smack her infected septum piercing and fixed Ethan with a stare. "Ethan. It's my birthday. Come and have a drink with me."
Amy looked at him, which meant that she couldn't see me. So I mouthed, fuck her, and gave him an encouraging nod. It almost looked as if he was going to tell me that he'd be there but his gaze moved to his girlfriend and he folded. Wimp.
"Na if Amy won't be there, I can't go either. Besides, I'm not drinking either."
"Amy," Jess leaned forward. "Give Ethan his balls back. It's his liver. Not yours. And he's Leonie's friend. He shouldn't have to miss her birthday party."
Bray nodded and I could see Amy turning a light shade of red, even though her expression remained firm. "It'd be inappropriate for him to go to that house without me. I've seen the girls that Jade hangs around with. Jess, would you be okay with Bray going without you."
"Yes," her face contorted with frustration. She watched Amy as if she was a moron. "For one, I don't own him. Two, I trust him—"
Amy scoffed and looked down at her salad.
"Three," Jess continued, loud, cutting Bray off from snapping at Amy himself. "If I couldn't trust him around other girls, what would be the point in dating him in the first place?"
Alex was becoming uncomfortable with the tension. Not sure why, this was a regular occurrence for the six of us. Sometimes it was me that was getting ganged up on. Sometimes it was Bray. It was rarely Alex. It was hard to gang up on someone who looked so innocent and fragile.
Amy had no response to that and I could see Ethan watching her with a look that said what do you have to say about that?
It was a good point. If she couldn't trust him, what was the point in their relationship? Plus it was unfair. Ethan didn't have a deceitful bone in his body. I also knew that if his grandmother knew what a controlling twat Amy could be, she wouldn't be so in favour of hosting them at her holiday home over the summer.
"Fine," she gave him a tight smile. "Go to the party. Have fun."
"You're so sincere," I scoffed and picked up my tray when the bell rang to end lunch break. Whatever, it was Monday. Perhaps by the time the weekend rolled around, she'd have settled.
Jess caught up to me as I was dumping my trash in the metal chute beside the doors. "Is your Mom back for your birthday?"
"She can't come back this weekend. She'll be back next weekend though. Big case. New job and all of that."
"Right," she threaded her arm through mine and we started up the staircase. "How about Heath. You should invite him to paintball."
"I dunno," I felt a throb between my legs when I thought about straddling Heath's lap. "We'll see. It's sort of complicated at the moment. Well, I'm complicated. Jess, I would sit on his face."
She nodded and her blinking was fast. "What a sentence."
On Tuesday afternoon, I sat on one side of the dining room table, Bray sat on the other and we both scoffed down Taco Bell while I talked to Mom on FaceTime. My phone was propped up with a to-go cup so that she couldn't see the guest that I had on the other side of the table. She'd be livid if she knew that I was in the house alone with him.
"Yeah mom," I licked a drop of sauce off my wrist. "I've been taking out the trash and cleaning the dishes. I like to sleep, I'm not an animal."
"Well you didn't do a lot of cleaning when I was there," she grumbled. It looked like she was still in her office. Which was weird. It was six in the evening here. So it was ten at night there. She was working hard it seemed.
"I didn't need to. You did it for me."
She scoffed and ran her hands across her exhausted face. Of course, I'd been kidding and she knew that as well. Mom could be a bit of a control freak when it came to the decor and tidiness of our home. She was a 'I want it done properly so I'll just do it myself'' kind of person. I kept the house spotless but she'd still probably find something that wasn't right about it.
"Well anyway," she waved a hand. "How are things? School good?"
"Sure."
"How about your friends? How's Heath and Sarah? Did she like the wig?"
"She loved it," I answered, smiling because the memory was fond. It just sucked that I hadn't talked to Heath since Sunday and I was starting to miss him already.
He hadn't sent any more messages since yesterday's ones went ignored. It felt shit. But I knew that being friends was more complicated than I needed.
I ignored Bray's pointed look from across the table. I'd had to avoid making eye contact throughout the phone call incase it was obvious that I was looking at someone.
"That's good. By the way, I hope you're not eating like that regularly?"
I rolled my eyes and held a hand in front of the camera so that she couldn't see me. Bray cracked a smile but kept his mouth closed. "I'm going paintballing this weekend. For my birthday."
"I can't see you?"
"Yeah because you're in a timeout. I want to eat my taco without judgement."
"Oh cut it out," she scolded. I moved my hand away and met her exasperated stare through the screen. "Paintball, huh? That sounds fun. Who's going to that?"
"The usual crew," I shrugged. I obviously wasn't going to mention the party at Jade's afterwards. What she didn't know, wouldn't hurt her. I still had to be careful though. One wrong move and I could end up in London. It was doubtful that I'd go though. I'd exercise my rights as an adult and book it before she could catch me.
Mom and I talked for a while longer. About school, friends, London. She had a lot to fill me in on in that area. When we hung up, Bray let out a loud exhale and sagged in his seat.
"Man, girls can talk forever."
"We can," I agreed, standing up to clear off the empty dinner trash. "It's good training. You'll have to learn to deal with it when you have a wife someday. So learn now. Be patient."
We cleared up, it didn't take long and then we went to my room and I jumped in the shower. As per my norm at least once a week, I spritzed the doors with grime cleaner and scrubbed the shower doors while I was in there. It was a good time to clean them. After I hopped out, dry bun on the top of my head, I smiled at the crystal clean glass. I gave the counter a quick wipe down and cleaned the mirror.
Bray was lying on my bed when I emerged in a tank top and shorts. He was flicking through Netflix, still wearing his uniform. The shirt was fitted on his shoulders and the sleeves were rolled up. I almost offered for him to whip off his pants due to the heat. But then I had to remember the fact that he was dating my best friend and certain things could be construed as inappropriate.
"Jade said definitely for the party on Saturday," he said as I dropped down on to the bed beside him. "She can't come paintballing though. She's booked into be a hair client or some shit for Quinn at the College."
"Oh shit," I snorted and peeked up at him with guilt. "I'm glad you invited her to paintball because I didn't even think about it."
"Yeah I know," he gave me a pointed look. "Rude bitch."
I punched him in the chest. It wasn't unusual for Bray to hang around here in the evenings. He couldn't go to Jess's. There's no chance that her mom and dad would let him inside, much less into her bedroom. Jade was all the way in Flagami. Alex studied after school until he fell asleep and well Ethan might have been good company but Amy usually had her claws in him first.
Plus, when we were sleeping together, I made sure to get him into the apartment and hidden in my bedroom before mom came home. We had a routine. That wasn't the case now but we were still best friends who appreciated hanging out.
I definitely didn't mind. It got pretty quiet around here.
"I reckon we should just force Ethan to come to Jade's on Saturday night," Bray mentioned, hand behind his head while he watched shooter. "Like, shove him into the van and give him no choice."
I laughed. Amy gave in and said that he could go. But he still said that he wouldn't because she clearly wasn't happy about it.
My phone chimed and I picked it up, reading the message on the screen from Heath.
Hey. Wondered if you wanted to have a coffee or something while Sarah has her chemo tomorrow? Well, I'll have coffee. You can have fries. 😅
I dropped it without letting him know that I wouldn't be at the hospital tomorrow due to a scheduling mix up. Bray leaned up on an elbow and fixed me with an inquisitive stare.
"What?"
"You're not going to respond?"
"Uh no," I shook my head and put a hand across his face, pushing him back into the pillow. "Don't even attempt to give me advice, Bray. You're as clueless as I am."
He scoffed and leaned up again. "I wouldn't give you advice. Shit. I'm not trying to ruin your life. I just think you should stop being a pussy and text him back."
"I love how you use pussy as if it's an insult. Or a weak word. I'm pretty sure we both know that's not the case."
His gaze turned narrow and then he started to laugh. "True. That thing can take a beating."
"Damn right it can."
He rolled his eyes with amusement and then gave me a nudge. "Nice attempt to change the conversation. Text Heath back. Move on. Fall in love and all that."
"Heath needs to be with a nice girl that has nice conversations and isn't all messed up over her late boyfriend and won't have issues committing. He deserves it. He's a nice guy."
Bray shook his head and ran his hands across his face in exasperation. The pillows had made a mess of his golden brown hair. "You deserve it too, dick. You're a bit outspoken and shit but you're nice Leonie. You do a lot of nice shit for people. You have a good heart."
"Wrong," I stared at the ceiling. "My heart is in pieces. A mess."
"Shut up," he softly said. "Text him back. Invite him to paintball. Because right now it seems like you just don't want to heal."
I gave him an incredulous stare.
"It's true," he shrugged. "I think you like depriving yourself of happiness. Benny wouldn't be mad, Lee. He'd want that for you. You should at least attempt to move on. Baby steps and all that shit."
If it weren't the fact that he was dating my best friend, I'd shut him up with sex. But that was out of the question. So instead I picked up the remote, turned the television up and settled further into the bed.
Bray looked down with a stupid grin and knew that he was getting to me. I'd kick him out if it weren't for the fact that I actually liked having someone around. I'd never admit that to him though.