ACT 2 — SCENE 14
THEY CRUMBLE.
THE SMELL of freshly grilled chicken and barbeque sauce has Seojung's stomach growling in hunger. The girl had taken a seat at the table by the window almost half an hour ago, and it has been ten minutes since the waitress brought over the meals she ordered and seven minutes seen Jeongguk texted that he was on his way. It's so unlike him to be running late, especially since he's the one who proposed the idea of going out for a dinner date.
As much as she hates admitting to her defeat, Arai was right when she said she and Jeongguk are slowly losing their grip on each other. How had she not realize sooner that her boyfriend was slipping away from her fingertips as the days go by? Though they still see each other quite often, it's as if neither is a part of each other's lives anymore, and that's really what saddens Seojung the most as she had lived for more than a year being used to Jeongguk's constant presence at any hour of the day. Misses his annoying complaints of her never having any good snacks at home, his tendency to hog the blanket whenever he sleeps over and misses waking up with arms wrapped around her waist.
It's the kind of feeling where hearing his voice through the speakers of her phone or seeing his smile on a computer screen can't fix. Nothing else she can do but sit and wait, bite her lip and pushes down the guilt of not trying hard enough. Insecurities and worries flood the girl's mind and cloud her thoughts with the possibilities of Jeongguk feeling the way she hopes he wouldn't feel. Though she has had been in relationships before Jeongguk, the boy is really her first love, in a way, and losing him would be like losing a part of her she never knew she needed.
The anxious girl taps her painted nails on the wooden table as she counts the seconds with Jeongguk not walking through the doors pass by. Hopes that he at least gets here before their meals go cold. Could it be possible that he had forgotten? Possible that he's standing her up on purpose to make a point?
Seojung reaches for her phone out of sheer frustration and begins to dial Jeongguk's number that she has come to know by heart, couldn't be bothered to open her contacts and scroll down to his name. But before she can even go through with the call, the door opens with a small chime of a bell, and a smile is immediately plastered on her face when she looks up to find her boyfriend's familiar brown hair.
"Sorry for making you wait. Dance practice ran a little late." Jeongguk drops his duffel bag on the floor. Seojung leans forward and plants a soft kiss on his lips that he didn't expect before she lets him sit down.
"It's okay." She smiles, suddenly not minding that she had been sitting here for more than twenty minutes. Jeongguk's here now. That's all that matters.
It's when they start to catch up that Seojung realizes just how much she has missed of Jeongguk's life despite still being around him most of the time. Other than the dance thing with Hoseok, he has recently joined the photography club and has been performing at cafes to make extra money when he has free time. She's delighted to hear this, knowing how shy he gets when it comes to singing in public. Only wishes that he had told her sooner so she could attend his first show. And as for her, there hasn't really been a lot going on in her life except for the search for her mother, so her stories are shorter and plainer compared to Jeongguk's.
When Jeongguk has finished his meal and Seojung halfway through hers, she notices something's not right. Jeongguk's too quiet. He's not normally this passive when she's around. There's always something he'd be boasting about or a tale he wants to tell. He's not even putting effort into keeping a conversation going and just stares at his now empty plate. Seojung can see the absence in his eyes, tells her that despite him being here now in front of her, his mind is somewhere far away. It couldn't be just because he's tired from dance practice. Seojung knows him better than that, knows him better than anyone, so it makes sense how quick she is to figure out that something is wrong with her boyfriend.
"Hey, are you... are you okay?" she tries carefully. Confrontation has never been a favorite of either Seojung or Jeongguk. Sometimes when things like this happen, it's just best to let the other cool off or have their personal space, but the girl is too paranoid and worried to let it slide this time. "You've been awfully quiet tonight."
The look he gives her afterward is one that makes her stomach churn and not in a good way. There's a shadow that has fallen upon her boyfriend's features and Seojung doesn't like how she can't see the stars in his eyes anymore, doesn't like how looking at him now feels heart-wrenching. Wants to reach out for his hand across the table but she doubts that it's going to fix anything, so she keeps hers placed on either side of her plate as she waits for him to elaborate.
Jeongguk clears his throat. "No, actually, I'm not okay."
"Do you want to talk about—"
"There's a reason why I asked you to come out tonight and I don't think you're going to like it," Jeongguk interrupts and just hearing him say those words already has her terrified. "I know you went to Busan with Taehyung a few weeks back. Hoseok hyung mentioned something about him going there the same weekend you were visiting your parents. I kind of put two and two together and came up with the conclusion. I'm smarter than you think, Seojung."
She would've never expected to be caught red-handed like this tonight, and what's frustrating is there's nothing she can say to defend herself. Should've thought better than to keep something like this from him. Should've thought better than to lie.
"It was a coincidence that he was going home the same weekend as me. It's not like I could tell him to go some other day."
"But you told me you went alone. I just... I'm more upset at the fact you lied to me compared to the idea of you spending three whole days with him." Seeing hurt painted all over his face shatters her heart into pieces, and she only breaks even more when Jeongguk draws back as she reaches out for his hand.
"Gukkie," Seojung pleads. There's no hostility in Jeongguk's eyes, no hatred or anger that hardens the lines of his face. He just looks tired. Sad. Seojung's heart begins to feel heavier and heavier as she realizes that Jeongguk's going to let her hand be empty.
"Knowing that you two are getting closer and closer is already enough. I see you talking to him a lot on campus. And probably off campus too, right? Does he come over a lot? Text you good night? Knock on your door and—"
"This isn't fair. Taehyung and I are neighbors." It comes out harsher and more defensive than she intended, but the girl can't help herself. She doesn't want to fight, but she's also sick and tired of people assuming that Taehyung might try something on her, and the fact that Jeongguk thinks that she would let him come between them only fuels her frustration. The only thing Taehyung has been the past months is a great friend who keeps her company whenever she needs someone by her side.
"What's not fair is me feeling like I'm losing my girlfriend when she alone isn't aware of anything."
"Gukkie," Seojung's purposely using the nickname in hopes that he softens a little bit, knowing just how much he loves it when she calls him this. "You know I love you."
Seojung can almost see the red curtain falling and the second it becomes a barrier between then would mark the end of their story. This is where she starts to worry. The girl has planned on keeping the raven-haired boy for a long while, planned on finishing chapters of her life with him only to start new ones. She pleads again, but with her eyes this time, and amidst that is an I'm sorry that could've been spoken out loud if she only had the guts for it.
"Like I said, I'm smarter than you think, and I know for a fact that a part of you still longs for him. Don't even try to deny it." Seojung feels like she should be bracing herself for the worst, but a part of her still believes that Jeongguk would never give up on her so easily. Hopes. "I think it's best that if we... take a break. Stop for a while."
Something breaks inside the already breaking girl. A faint crash is heard in the back of her mind and like an elevator with a snapped cord, her heart plummets to her feet. She averts her eyes away from him in fear that the longer she looks at him the harder it will be for her to accept the fact that he has given up on her.
"For how long?" she whispers with the miniscule shred of dignity she has left. Pushes a strand of hair behind her ears and forces the tears to not start welling her eyes. Doesn't want to look pathetic and cry now, not when he's still here in front of her.
"As long as it takes for you to be sure that your heart is set on just one person, but this doesn't mean that I'm going to wait for you, Seojung. Do whatever you need to do, but by all means, don't come running to me if he breaks your heart. Come to only when you're sure that it's me you want."
Jeongguk stands and picks up his duffel bag. Seojung has become well aware that he's leaving her, but she didn't expect him to actually be leaving her here. Something tells her that by the time Jeongguk walks out of those doors, there will be nothing else she can do to pull him back to where she wants him to be, so she tries one more time and grabs his wrist to keep him from walking away, but her hopes are crushed when all he does is spare her a glance before letting go of her hand. Jeongguk has always been someone who stands strong with his decision. Even if she were to drop down to her knees and beg for him to stay, she knows he wouldn't budge.
The chitter-chatter of people and clinks of glass and plates becomes silent as Seojung sits, now alone. To everyone else, she would look like nothing but a girl who's daydreaming and staring at nothing, but what they don't know is that she's biting the insides of her cheeks, trying hard to not let the growing ache get the best of her. She stays for what feels like an hour when it's only fifteen minutes before she asks the waiter for the bill, only to find out that her meal has already been paid by the kind young man with pretty eyes.
Under the starless sky, Seojung walks home alone with a full stomach but a new hollow in her heart.
—
yikes guk and seo are over. did you guys expect guk to be the one calling it quits ajsjsjsjsj sorry for any mistakes love you all please tell me what you think of the chapter!
(1 more left until act 3 who's hyped)
i swear im a guk stan,
mara