That night I lay in bed restless, thinking of Lucien. I never thought of Lucien as more than a friend, but now I do. The kiss he laid on me was magical and I kept replaying it over and over in my head. His lips moving on mine, his groan when I opened up to him.
I wake up to talking down stairs and slowly make my way out of bed. Rhysand and Feyre sit on a couch in the sitting room talking. When I approach they both go quiet, but the smile Feyre gives me tells me she knows. I ignore that smile. "How was your night Elain?" Rhysand smirks and I glare at him.
"Fine. How was your night Rhysand?"
A low laugh is my answer, I roll my eyes and make myself comfortable in a plush love seat across from them. "We had a fairly good night. We stopped by the library to dig up some research and Rhys interviewed a few humans for work at one of the open shops in the Rainbow. Boring stuff really."
My night was anything but boring. Spending the night out, dancing, and eating and talking with Lucien somewhat brought life back to me. Of course I have learned how to cope with my powers so I am more alive in that sense, but I have been too afraid to actually let myself have some fun. My heart tugs as I think of the look in his eye when he pulled away from me.
I stand quickly and rush up to my room to dress up, wearing simple dress that reaches just below my knees, hanging off me. Without a word to Feyre or Rhysand I walk to the destination I desire. Once I arrive, I knock on the door. Lucien opens the it just as I am about to knock again. He is shirtless, his hard muscled torso on full display causing my belly to do flips, a pair of loose pants around his waist, hair mussed with sleep. He looks gorgeous. I smile nervously and bite my lip. "I'm sorry did I wake you?" I ask feeling a bit bad for having possibly woken him.
He shakes his head and steps aside to let me in. "Good morning Elain. I didn't think I would hear from you until next week." for our weekly visit.
His apartment is tidy, only a cup and plate liter a table, smells like breakfast. "I wanted to see you after last night. See how you were doing. You left with some haste last night."
He takes a seat and immediately I can see guilt flash through his russet eye. "Oh Elain..." I cut him off. "No I am not angry with you," I take a seat beside him, resting my hand on his forearm, tracing a vein, words swirling through my mind.
"I wanted to check on you. You pulled away, but I could see in your eyes you didn't want to, so why pull away?"
He watches my finger run along his vein, thinking, trying to pull together a response. "I...hmmm.. I didn't want to over step my boundaries. It has been 2 years and well... I didn't want to frighten you off by coming on too strong. I wanted to give you time to think about what you wanted. If this is something you wanted to try." his fingers lace through mine, holding my hand. I lean my head against his shoulder. He is so kind. He always has been from the moment I met him. Kind and understanding.
For a moment I just close my eyes. I don't think about the bond between us, I focus on the bond we created with time. My feelings for him. I do like him. I like him a lot. Maybe this is something I want to pursue. Why else would I have just come here? I could have waited until next week to see him, but I couldn't. I needed to see him again.
I squeeze his hand, running my thumb over his hand, looking over in his eyes, our faces so close. "It is. I want to try to make this work, but no mating bond involved. Maybe someday, but I am not ready for that. I just want things to progress on their own." his smile makes my heart sputter.
"Then will you Elain Archeron do me the honor of courting me?" his grand talk makes me giggle and I lean into him.
"Lucien fox boy," since he doesn't use his family name, "I would love to court you." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.
"Thank you." his voice is soft and serious.
Lucien has to go do some business at the Spring Court, so he takes me back to the town house with a promise to see me when he comes back. I feel so idiotic. All I can think of is him. When I can feel his warmth again, his lips, his comfort, him. I have a theory that part of that is the mating bond, but I admit some thoughts are definitely just me craving him.
I sit at the dining room table eating a simple sandwich a book beside me, reading it as I eat my lunch. The front door opens and I don't even look back to see who it is. I take a long drink of my water and a hand glides through my hair. "Elain." I hear Nesta's soft voice. the voice she only uses with me. I stand smiling at her, smiling even brighter at her big round belly.
"Oh you're glowing! He seems to be getting bigger and bigger every time I see him! She has visited a few times since she became pregnant, but the baby really does seem to be getting bigger by each visit.
We sit together on a couch and Cassian gives me a brief smile before heading up to the roof to sun his wings. "How have you been Nesta?"
It took Nesta, I think, the longest of us all to recover from what happened in the war. She eventually let us all help her heal and hone her powers, but it was not an easy battle.
"Good. The morning sickness is finally over. Cassian is a very doting mate. Likes to rub my swollen ankles. As he well should since he did this to me." I cant help but tip my head back and laugh.
"Did this to you?" she grins herself and rubs her big belly, about five months pregnant. Her golden brown hair is swept back with two silver combs with intricate swirls and diamonds, her dress a plain grey, bringing out her blue-grey eyes. She is quite beautiful. Both of my sisters are.
"Cassian has been quite busy lately. I think he is training a new Illyrian legion." she says crossing her swollen ankles atop a foot stool.
I nod. "Azriel told me some time ago they are having problems with the new legion and they all three have to go up there to keep things in check."
Nesta leans her head back against the couch cushion closing her eyes. "I feel so useless just sitting home, being pregnant. I know it's best I keep off my feet, but I just wish I had something real to do. Even if it was just research or looking through mail. Sitting idle all day makes me sick to my stomach."
I believe her. After Feyre brought home game meat and sold things and did all the work Nesta wanted to make a change in herself. To do something, anything. I rub her arm comfortingly. "I am sure if you ask Rhysand, he could give you something to work on. There is always something needing to be done. Maybe you can interview the candidates who want to buy a business in the rainbow."
She thinks for a moment. "I will ask before I leave. Anything is better than sitting on my ass at home." she replies.
"And what a fine ass it is since you've gotten pregnant." I giggle nudging her teasingly. Her mouth pops open and she shoves me softly. I have no doubt anytime she says something about her butt Cassian has a remark for what a lovely or fine ass it is.
The visit lasts about 2 hours before Cassian comes down from the room, while Rhysand and Feyre come down from the study. Cassian helps Nesta up from where she sits beside me on the couch and as we discussed she asks Feyre and Rhysand for something to do with her time, and they both happily give her the task of the interviews, we stand for about 15 minutes and Cassian talks about the new males and how he'd love to rip out their tongues for the back talk they give, but how he knows that Azriel, Rhysand and him can whip them all into shape.
After they leave I take my plate that I ate on for lunch and my glass of water and wash the dishes thoroughly. Feyre and Rhysand retire to their room, and I dry the dishes and put them away. I am just about to make my way towards my own room when I hear a knock at the door. Making my way towards the door opening it to reveal Lucien.
I smile at him. "Hey! I didn't think I'd see you tonight." he steps inside, his hair tied into a pony tail atop his head.
"Sorry." he whispers. "I cant stay long. I am pretty beat from today. Would you like to come spend the night at my house and get away from.." he trails off gesturing towards upstairs where pretty distinct sounds are being made.
I look to him quickly and step out of the door. "Yes please yes." I say with a fake desperation smiling.
When we get to his apartment he straightens up a bit and sets up a pallet in the floor. "Would you like to sleep on my bed?" he asks kindly.
"Hmm what about you?" I look at the pallet then at his bed. It looks a lot more uncomfortable than his bed.
"I want to sleep with you....I mean really sleep. No..." he cuts me off.
"I know Elain. I am not expecting anything other than sleeping." he gives me a soft smile and leans down to kiss my cheek, his height making him a full head taller than me.
"Do you have anything I can wear?" I ask realizing I didn't bring anything with me.
"Of course. In my room there is clothes you can borrow." I nod and go into his room closing the door.
His room is bedecked in Autumn colors, even family portraits, but none have his father. One has him when he was a baby, the Lady of Autumn holding him dearly, another is of him and all 6 of his brothers, most have all red hair except 2, his bed tidy with a blanket that looks soft and is a combination of red, orange and yellow. Just like fire. I open his dresser to find a shirt, squishing my bare feet in the soft carpet. I take off my dress and lay it on his bed, sliding it on the shirt. It goes down a bit past my thighs. revealing my pale legs. I think of putting on a pair of his pants, but decide against it. Leaving his room I go back to the pallet he made in the living room and he is already comfortable. Wearing only a pair of comfortable cotton pants. I lay beside his, crawling under the blankets, and face him. He opens his eyes and smiles at me.
"Thank you." I say pulling at the collar of my shirt. I scoot close to him, our bodies so close I can feel his warmth.
"No need. How was your day?" he asks, sliding his hands in my hair. I close my eyes at the touch and breathe him in deeply.
"Good. Nesta came by today with Cassian. Their baby has gotten so big! I cant wait to see him! How was your day?" I rest my hands on his warm, bare chest, his arms sliding around me, holding me against him.
He breathes out. "If I am honest not pleasant. Seeing Tamlin... it just reminds me of the broken vow I made him..."
I suck in a breath and pull away. "Lucien... You deserve better. He didn't deserve your loyalty. Feyre told me how he treated you, spoke to you. You deserve someone who appreciates you." he looks deep in my eyes. I can tell he doesn't believe me. "Really. You deserve better." his arms tighten around me and I bury my face in his warm sculpted chest, soaking in his warmth.
"You really believe that?" he asks.
"Of course I do." I whisper, placing a soft kiss to his chest. I snuggle him tightly, nestling into him, closing my eyes.
"So do you Elain." I say nothing, knowing exactly who he is talking about.
He settles into me and his breathing starts to even out. His heart steadies into a calm rhythm, his arms around me slightly loosening as his body relaxes. Only when he is completely asleep do I nestle into his warmth, holding him tightly. Closing my eyes, I squeeze him making sure he wont vanish while I am asleep and I dance right into sleeps beautiful embrace.