It's been two months since the photo incident but it's been almost three months since I lost Genesis. Today, I took time out of my day, to visit her grave site. I'd feel better with myself if I did so.
I walked up the path, with bright and healthy grass on my sides. When I made it to her tomb, she had an angel sitting on her tombstone.
"Genesis Reneé Reynolds-Longhorn.
Our first angel earned her wings."
Her tombstone read. I set the flowers in front of the cement block and sat in front of it.
"I feel weird talking to you, because you probably can't even hear me, but Gen, I'm sorry, but why?" I eventually began to cry. "Why didn't you leave him, after he hurt me? He took everything I had. But couldn't give you what you desperately wanted." I wiped my eyes. "Gen, I'm pregnant, but I am terrified. I don't want to be pregnant, but I don't want to lose Bruno. I'm not happy, just how you were. My job, the baby, Bruno, it's all stressful to keep everything steady and stable. We've had a few arguments and they were stemmed from me. I'm scared." I dug my face in my hands. "He's the only one I have now. Mom and dad aren't good for shit. They always treated me like a disappointment." I took a few breaths to calm myself down. "I read your diary, and I'm sorry. Life is just fucked up."
"Genevieve?" A man called my name. I looked over to my right to see Damian, Justin's boyfriend, approach me. "Oh, hi Damian." I wiped my eyes and said, "Sorry, I look a mess." "Don't even worry yourself. I know it's hard. Who was it, if you don't mind me asking." He asked. "My sister." He squatted beside me and said, "Hmm she died not too long ago?" "Yeah, but I'm still looking for her killer." "Ahh, the killer. They're hard to catch, nonetheless they're hard to find in general." He said.
"Who are you here to see?" I asked. "My cousin, Nathaniel. Died a few years back. Me and him were so close. He was like my brother." He explained. "Sorry for your loss." I said to him. "It's fine." There was an awkward silence, that I eventually had to break. "I'm going to cut to the chase, are you and Justin dating?" I asked. Damian laughed, "We're more like friends with benefits." He said. "Justin wants the relationship, but I don't. He can't handle me." He said. "What do you mean by that?" "It's an explanation that is hard to comprehend." "I'm FBI, nothing isn't too hard to comprehend for me." "And I'm an average bisexual man who has his right to privacy that shouldn't be invaded by the federal government." I smirked at him and said, "touche" "Love is a dangerous thing. Especially when someone hurts you with the negative aspect of it." "That's why you won't commit to him? Because you're scared perhaps?" I asked. "That's one reason. Sometimes it makes you crazy. So you find someone else to make you sane again, but then you realize it's too late." "Im sorry. Well, from working with Justin, you're in good hands. He's a great man. A protective and loving one at that." "I beg to differ sometimes." Damian looked at his watch and said, "Speaking of Justin, I'm supposed to meet him for dinner. I'll see you around, Genevieve." "Oh, Damian!?" I called. "Yes?" "Any update on the car?" "Wires were cut. We're replacing them. No charge." "Thank you."