Mikey was barely aware of Ray tucking him into bed. If he'd been in his right mind, he'd have been humiliated and quite possibly weirded out.
But he wasn't; not at all.
Ray sat by him for a while, making sure he would be alright, and then stood up to go.
Mikey made a small noise of protest and clung onto him, eyes wide. Ray blinked.
"Mikey..."
"D-don't leave, Gee," Mikey begged, disoriented and confused. Ray seemed to soften a little as he sat back down.
"I'm not going anywhere, Mikey," he promised. "Just go to sleep."
Mikey nodded slowly and closed his eyes, his head moving into Ray's lap. He yawned and smiled, slowly drifting off.
He woke up alone and at first was a little confused when he saw Ray asleep on the bed beside him.
Then he remembered everything. He curled up in his small ball again and whimpered. He hated all this pain, and stress and worry. Why would Gerard just leave without telling anybody?
Without telling Mikey?
He felt Ray's arms wrap around him.
"Mikey?" The older male sounded worried.
"I want Gee," Mikey whispered.
"I know, I know," Ray sighed. "He made a bigger impact on us than we first thought, I guess."
"What if he's dead, Ray? What if he killed himself?" Mikey looked up at him, terrified. But Ray shook his head.
"Mikes, you're jumping to conclusions again. If Gerard was committing suicide, he wouldn't have taken provisions." He stroked Mikey's hair, which quite obviously needed a shower by now. "Now, you need some coffee. You like coffee, remember?"
Mikey slowly nodded and watched Ray stand up. Ray offered him his hand and Mikey took it, wobbling a little as Ray pulled him to his feet.
He let the older male lead him out of his room, trying to ignore the pull that Gerard's empty bedroom had on his exhausted eyes.
Ray pulled him into the kitchen and Mikey sat down in the corner, curling into himself. He watched the blurry outline of Ray making some coffee and breakfast, shivering in the cold air.
The doorbell rang, and Mikey jumped badly. Ray finished making coffee and passed Mikey his favorite mug.
"I'll get it," he smiled. There was something cracked and chipped behind the smile. Mikey felt shame swipe through him as he realized he was nothing but a burden on Ray and Frank at the moment. He sat in his corner, occasionally sipping his coffee and listening to Ray open the door. He didn't bother looking; he wouldn't be able to see without his glasses on.
He heard his parents' voices and curled further into himself, narrowly avoiding spilling his drink. What if they blamed him for Gerard's disappearance? What if they thought he was pathetic?
What if they rejected him?
Mikey felt a few more tears trace down his cheeks. He didn't want to lose his parents too.
Ray walked back in and quickly saw his upset state. He crouched down.
"Mikey, it's just your parents. They want to see how you're doing."
Mikey hesitantly peeked into the front room, where his mother and father were sitting. They both looked bereft.
Mikey shrank back.
"They'll hate me."
Ray looked exasperated. "No one hates you but you, Mikes. Now come on, they're your parents."
Mikey slowly stood up and followed Ray into the front room, nervous. His mother stood up when she saw her miserable, sleep-deprived son.
"Michael..."
Mikey blinked at her as Ray sat him down on a sofa and gave him a blanket, fussing over him. There was a loud knock at the door and Ray left to get it again.
Mikey watched his mother start crying with wide eyes. She'd looked horrified when she saw him. But it wasn't that she didn't want to see him... she was worried for him? Mikey didn't know how she worried over both of her sons; surely the disappearance of Gerard would demand all of her worry?
Ray walked back in with Frank behind him.
"Hi, Mikey," the shorter man said awkwardly. Mikey gave him a small wave and dropped his gaze back to his coffee. Ray and Frank sat on either side of him, like some sort of protective group.
They sat in uncomfortable silence, Frank occasionally going to get Mikey's mom some more tissues for her crying.
Then,
"Mikey?" his father asked in a hollow voice. Mikey blinked and looked up at him. "We know you're struggling here, and we were wondering if you'd prefer to come live with us for the time being?"
"Please?" his mother whispered. "We can't lose another son."
Ray was watching him cautiously and Frank was pretending not to listen.
Mikey pulled his blanket further around him.
"What if Gee comes back and I'm not here?" His voice was barely audible.
"Serves him right," his father muttered. "But he'll call you, won't he? Or you can leave a note."
But Mikey shook his head vehemently.
"I need to stay near here," he mumbled.
"I live near here," Ray suggested quietly. "I can take care of Mikey for a while."
"You would do that?"
"Of course. He's my friend."
"I can stay over too in case Ray does get overwhelmed," Frank suggested. Ray nodded.
"See, Mr and Mrs Way? We got this."
*****
Mikey finished pushing some of his stuff into the boot of Ray's car. He looked back at the house, chewing his lip.
"What if Gee's forgotten where you live?"
"Mikey, Jesus Christ. He'll find us." Ray grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into his car. "Now put your seat-belt on, there's a good boy."
Mikey didn't realize he was being patronized.
Frank was sat in the seat behind Ray, asleep. Mikey tried not to look at him. He'd just remember everything Frank did with Gerard.
Ray started the car and pulled out of the drive. Mikey hugged his knees and watched the road nervously. His brain was running through all the things that could go wrong.
But they reached Ray's house without a bother. Frank helped Mikey take his things into Ray's guest bedroom, which they would be sharing.
Ray was setting up a camp bed for Frank. Mikey had protested that Frank should have the proper bed, but his friends had both refused to let him give it up.
When they had finished, Ray and Frank started making some lunch whilst Mikey stared out of this window pointlessly. He wouldn't see Gerard from out the window but that didn't stop him from looking.
"Mikey," Frank said from the doorway. The taller male turned to him, blinking a little. "Come on, you need to eat something."
Mikey slowly nodded and walked towards him, fixing his eyes on the floor so that he wouldn't stare at Frank's face. He didn't want Frank to know that Mikey really, really liked his face. That even sounded weird.
He walked through Ray's house and looked around, chewing his lip. He was only here because he couldn't look after himself anymore. What had happened to him to make him so listless?
Oh, yeah.
Mikey sighed unhappily and entered the kitchen with Frank close behind him. He wished Gerard was home so they could go back to normal life. He wanted to be okay again. He didn't like Ray and Frank looking so worried. It wasn't good for them, and they deserved to be happier. Mikey felt angry at his brother, but that was drowned out by his worries, fears and overall helplessness.
Mikey just wanted them all to be safe and happy. He hated this.
But he couldn't do anything.