Your admiration towards Harry and his adoration for you has grown wider for the past few months, with a little more memories and inside jokes and the secret that is still kept safely until now. From the day of lonely Valentine's to picking out couples costume for Halloween. For the past few years, Halloweens have never attracted you this much. And for every year, you chose to skip this childhood day where people likes to dress up as someone else. And overall, Halloween is the only day of the year to be who you are truly without having to be judge and the excuse for you to not attend this event was because you have always been the true you, so technically every day is Halloween minus the candy to you.
Harry said he once went as Miley Cyrus, and that once again proved your theory of being who you are on Halloween without getting judge.
And as much as you love it as a kid, when you grow old, you will find yourself lifting up a small peak of your curtain and looking through the window, cursing this day of loud doorbells ringing and people acting like it is okay to wear revealing clothes. Even the old lady down the street think it is fine for teenagers to wear bikinis and walking down streets just like that. Year after year, your roommate has tried to get you out of your weirdly-annoyingly-comfy sweatpants and shirts but still failed miserably.
"Noah once went as Beyoncé and I swear, he made Beyoncé cry."
"How horrible was it?" he asked, laughing.
"So, so horrible," you said, you shuddered. He chest heaves as you felt the vibration against your cheek, his laughter, still a melody after all these months.
The both of you sat in front of the powered off television, snuggling into each other's embrace. He planted a kiss on top of your head and mumbled, "Bunny, would you like to come to my friend's party for this Halloween?"
You sat up straight and held his hands in yours, "Is it okay if I, well, don't go?"
"Why? It's not like you hate Halloween," he snickered.
You looked at him with eyebrows arched and a smile that tugs in an apologetic way.
He rolls his eyes and threw his head back, "No! No, bunny! How can you possibly hate Halloween?"
"I don't hate it," you laughed, shaking your head.
"Really? Let me guess, you just think it's a 'cliché'?"
You swatted at him playfully across the chest before hugging your arms tightly across yours, "I just don't like parties,"
"We don't have to party. And I'm pretty sure that's the whole thing about Halloween?" he said, tone full of questions.
You clicked your tongue in annoyance and turned away from him to stare at the television, "I just don't like it. The people there are just too much."
He stared at you for a while before his hand reached for your hair and smoothed it down, stroke by stroke. "It's fine, we don't have to go. I just wanted to brag off about my girlfriend."
Harry has been throwing the word 'my girlfriend' around ever since the day where he literally got down on his knees to ask you to honor this privilege. It was the only time you've ever cried for this relationship so far. He's been treating you very well and spoiling you with books and foods and midnight deep conversations.
You still remembered that night as clear as your love is for him, where the whole room fell in silence and he asked you to dance with him. A live string quartet playing in the background with sweet melody bringing your feet alive. And he suddenly knelt down in front of you and gave you the best speech you've ever heard.
He said, "My bunny, I know this may be too fast or may be too slow. But I just want you to know that you made me the happiest for the past few months. And I started noticing things about you. I noticed the way your cheeks flush when you got confronted. I noticed the way you click your tongue when you're annoyed. I noticed the way your eyes just light up every time I take you to a bookstore. But most of all, I noticed how deep I am in love with you. I think you should feel my words absorb in as I kneel down in front of you right now. Consider this as a proposal. Or even a start of a proposal. Take this as the start of our two happy lives and the end of our prologue because that shit was too long." You laughed at his humor with tears still glazing in your eyes.
"I really want you to be my girlfriend. I want to spoil you. I want to shower you with love daily, my sweet creature. And I want you to be mine to care for, my responsibilities and my reason to wake up in the morning and return home from work early. Because for fuck's sake, the thought of some other man doing that for you will eat me up and swallow me whole. So, please, I beg you my sweet bunny, say yes."
And of course a speech like that melts your heart like a marshmallow set in the warm oven covered with chocolate. Your hands clasped your mouth in shock as the crowd in the room cheers for you to accept him. You nodded your head and whispered a small 'yes' due to the lack of energy that was spent on gasping before pulling him up to his feet, "Jesus Christ, what was that."
"A confession to which the truth of my love for you comes out. I mean everything I say, bunny. And when someday, hopefully, that we get married, I would never stop promising all these things. People only make promises on their wedding day, but why wait for that day when I could've shown you how much you deserve in this world, right now, right here? I really do love you, bunny. I want to have a daily routine with you. Wake up in the morning, have a nice cup of coffee, go to work, be with you, get to listen to your stories. I want to be a part of your life. I love you."
"I love you, no too," you smiled, with tears still glazing in your eyes and a few staining on your cheeks, "but if you do wake me up before 7, I'll fight you."
And of course your roommate was very psyched for you, and so was his boyfriend. They were actually planning all the wedding details, right on the spot, which to be fair was amazing and dreamy but a bit scary.
"Chill, you two. We just started, no rush." You shut them both up, but that didn't stop them from wriggling their eyebrows and teasing you.
You and Harry ended up staying home and binge watching you all-time favorite show – How I Met Your Mother . "I really like this Ted guy," Harry said.
"Um, I'm pretty sure the reason why I am your girlfriend is because you watch too much Ted. So technically, you don't just like this Ted guy, you are this Ted guy."
"That is, in fact, the only reason," he chuckled, stroking on your hair still.
"A live string quartet in a room full of people?"
"You should be thankful. Nobody does that," he pouted with eyes big on display. The same old forest with an Emerald City hidden within it. And God knows how many times you have wished to be stuck in there and get lost with no idea or whatsoever how to escape. You wouldn't need to escape anyway.
You smiled and leaned back into his chest that was heaving with steady breaths, "I am thankful. So, so thankful."
When your roommate and his soon-to-be-husband-boyfriend entered the room like two normal drunk people who tends to be a lot more touchy and clingy, they both stopped their actions the minute they realized you both were cuddling cozily on the couch.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Your roommate asked, slurping his words a little.
"What the fuck were you two doing?" you asked in a jokingly manner which send Harry's eyebrows shooting up his forehead like a rocket being launched into the space.
He chuckled and shook his head, "why do I find you cursing out profanities so very hot?"
You smiled and nudge him gently.
"It's Halloween! Dude, get your ass up and get out there and act like you're 18 like those sum bitch do! For fuck's sake, people are trying to cover up the fact that they are 30 and gulping down alcohols and here you are, ass sitting on a couch that many asses have touched on and being like an 80 years old granny!" You were surprised at how much sense he could make when he's clearly drunk and wasted.
"Harry, you should talk some sense into her! It's Halloweeeeeeen."
Harry smiled, his dimples poking holes into both sides of his cheeks, making him look ten times more attractive than he possibly could be. "Sorry, dude. She's my girl. I gotta do what she wants to do. And besides, I have been acting like I'm 18 for the past few years, oddly I find being an 80 years old grandpa is much more comfortable."
You smiled and surveyed him with fond. You never felt more alive to be approved and have someone rooting for you and being there for you more than any of those assholes in your life have done.
"Yea, whatevur, can you two go sumwhere so we can have sex?" He was really slurring all his words now and send you to a fit of laughter. You look past him to see his boyfriend standing there looking sober enough to know what his doing and avoiding your eyes. The flush in his cheeks were obvious when you walked by him.
You and Harry went back to his place and continue your show, but then you lost all of your concentration and focused in the dilemma of choosing to expose your deep dark secret.
"Is every alright, bunny?" It was as if he could read your mind when he poked through your dilemma.
You smiled half-heartedly and shook your head, brushing everything off. He turned off the TV and focused on you instead. "C'mon, tell me."
You wanted to tell him about it but your courage seems to be stuck in your throat. "I feel like there's a burden of secrets hidden under layers of us."
Harry, being the goof he is, raised the duvet covering the both of you and pretended to check, "I found nothing, ma'am."
You laughed and swatted him across the chest, "I'm serious."
He hummed and held your hands in his, "how about we spend the night just talking? I don't give a crap what your favorite food is, tell me how many men have you killed. I killed one."
You were terrified for a moment and wanted to trade your hands back but he held onto you like a baby searching for some security and looked into you with his dead-emotionless eyes. But then he broke into a fit of laughter, "I was just messing with you. Your face was like-"and he mimicked your look which ended up with you pouting and smacking him on his arms and chest.
"Okay, okay. I am ready to be serious now. Tell me your secret." He sat straight and held your hands in his again.
Your hesitation was lingering in the air of silence and it was like he could smell it.
"Okay, I'll go first," he said, "when I was seven." He paused for a good solid second before taking in a deep breath, his eyes staring at where his hands and yours were intertwined, "my father left me."
"Oh Harry," your voice was soft for this heartbroken boy in front of you, it was as if your secret doesn't matter anymore. You never knew the feeling of losing your dad but the thought of it hurts too much to even cross your mind. His eyes was glazing when he looked at you, he smiled and sniffed.
"I get really emotional sometimes," he retreated one of his hands to rub his eyes. You held his hands and threw yourself in for a hug. You snuggled up his chest and tears started swelling in your eyes, "I'm sorry," you said.
He hugged you in closer and mumbled, "It's not your fault."
And you started blabbing out promises while still in tears, "I promise, no, I take an oath to not ever leave you, unless something – you know – happens, I shall never leave you, not in the dark, not in the storm. And if there is any battle coming for you, I will stand by you and fight with you. Because, Harry Edward Styles, you deserve the whole world. You deserve all the love."
Harry started tearing up with beads of tears about to burst through his redden eyes, "my sweet, sweet bunny, I love you."
The both of you sat there and hugging each other until it started getting funny and weird instead of sad and mushy. When you two broke away from the hug that lasted for about a god solid 10 or 20 minutes, you said, "Harry, if you ever want or need to talk, I'm right here."
He clenched his palms around yours that looks absolutely tiny compared to his, "yes, my bunny. I will talk to you. Now tell me your secret."
You didn't care about what stupid judgment he would make, you perhaps even don't care at all. All that it matters is that if he'd root for you just the way you did. "I want to be an author. My story is done, I'm finding a publisher. "
His smile was big and covering up most of his face. If it was possible to shoot sunrays out of one's smile and not kill anyone, Harry would be the perfect example. Because his smile was so bright you had almost given up your nickname 'sunshine' and offered it to him on a tray held up high as you bow. His dimples were poking through his cheeks creating cute holes on both sides. The word proud was displayed across his forehead like a welcome sign.
"That is brilliant, bunny!" he beamed, "My bunny an author. Nothing hotter than an independent woman who shows the world 'fuck it, I'm gonna do it on my own'." He pulled you into another hug and kissed the top of your head and whispered, "I am so fucking proud of you my bunny."
You and Harry went to bed cuddling at the time before any drunk ass party starts, just like two old couples in their 80s would do. Not to be weird but this whole married-old-couple like life is better than any of those normal relationships you once had. It made you feel safe and secure and a little insight peek of what being married to him would look like. And you already knew what it'd be like: happy.