Previously on Hurts Like Hell...
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"If you want me gone, just say the word Kate. I won't hold it against you and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I deserve it. For what I did."
"I need time. To think."
"Yes, of course anything."
"You should probably go."
"Right."
And with that he was gone. Would she ever see him again?
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She hadn't seen him in about two weeks. When she told him she needed time he gave it to her. For once he listened. Over that time she reflected on the past events of both when he was gone and when he first came back. He acted like a complete ass and she was sure he knew that. He did though open up about his own insecurities regarding whether she wanted him to call or not. But she told him she would be waiting for his call before he left. Maybe he forgot that. She didn't understand why he thought coming back after a couple of months gone everything would be fine. He had said some hurtful things to her, but so had she.
She was sitting in her living room alone pondering on whether or not to call him. Her thumb wavered over his name on and off for about fifteen minutes before she finally pressed down on the screen. It rand two times before he picked up.
"Kate. Hi." He sounded surprised over the speaker.
"Hi," she paused taking a deep breath before continuing, "Do you want to meet up?"
"Y-yeah. Just tell me where."
"The coffee shop where you always get our coffee. What's the address?"
Castle replied through the phone and they agreed to meet there now. Kate was nervous but conveyed confidence in her decision over the phone. She didn't know what would come of their meeting, but she had an optimistic outlook. Kind of.
Rick was the first to arrive at the coffee shop. He was nervous because he didn't know what she was going to say to him. Was she going to forgive him? Shun him and tell him she never wanted to see him again? He didn't know and that unnerved him. He chose a table in the corner of the shop not wanting anyone to be listening in on their conversation. He said to himself that no matter what she said he would accept it and understand. He owed her that much after what he did to her. He was about to check him phone when he heard the bell attached to the door jingle. He looked up and saw her. She looked tired. Like she had battled this decision of meeting him over and over in her head until she couldn't anymore. She spotted him quickly and gave him an unsure smile. She sat down in front of him and brushed her hair back behind her shoulders.
"Hi." She shyly spoke.
"Hey." He replied.
Usually there was nothing awkward between them. Everything would flow nicely, even in silence. But now. It was uncomfortable, none of them knowing what to say or how to act. Castle decided to let Kate set the pace.
"Thank you for meeting me." She said.
"Of course. Anything for-yeah...of course."
"I've missed you at the precinct," she began," all of your theories."
"I miss giving them." He chuckled uncomfortably, not knowing how to respond.
"I've done a lot of thinking over the last two weeks and I thought it be fair to tell you what I've been feeling."
"Of course."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset about how you acted but I've come to sort of see your side. And I think that I could've acted better as well. I could've explained myself to you and told you why I was so upset, instead of shutting you out and acting like a child," she pause taking in a deep breath. She held it, letting it out as she spoke, "I know that I said I missed your theories, and I have, but i think that part that I missed the most was you. Castle...you've been such a bright light in my life and you've done a lot of things I don't approve of, but you've also done a lot of good. I want you back at the precinct."
"R-really?" Castle asked, perking up.
"Yeah, I think so at least."
"I won't be mad if you change your mind."
"I won't." She smiled small.
"Thank you, Beckett. Really thank you," Castle paused, the silence a bit more bearable, "I just have one question," he paused again, looking to her, only to have her avert her gaze, she knew what he was about to ask, "What about how we feel about each other?"
"I-I don't know. I didn't really process that yet. I just-did the first part." She closed in on herself.
"Oh, that's ok! We don't have to talk to about that now. I'm just happy that you decided to let me come back to the precinct."
"Ok."
After a few more exchanges the two went their own ways. Monday was the next day so they would get a feel of how it would feel to work together again.
Kate was hoping that Castle wouldn't bring up the fact that she mentioned her feelings for him. But he also said 'we.' What does 'we' mean? Did he feel the same way or was he referring to them just discussing their feelings in general? She didn't know.
The next day, Kate was pleased to see Castle with a coffee in each hand. She smiled when he handed it to her. He smiled back. So far so good, nothing felt awkward yet. And hopefully nothing would.
"Sorry, I'm earlier than usual, I was excited." Castle chuckled.
"You're cute when you're excited." Kate said her eyes growing wide as the realization hit her that she actually said that out loud hit her. Castle had shock written on his face as well and as he opened his mouth to say something, they were interrupted.
"Yo Beckett, what the hell is he doing back here?" Esposito asked irritated.
"It's ok, Espo, we're cool again." Beckett tried.
"You may be, but I'm not."
"Same here." Ryan agreed.
"Did you tell Lanie?" Espo asked, watching Beckett shake her head no, "Just wait till she hears!"
"I'll handle Lanie," Beckett reassured, "But for now, just try and get acquainted with one another. Beckett took the coffee from Castle and sat back down in her chair, taking a sip and smiling. The three men watched her and she seemed unbothered if she felt their eyes on hers. The boys then glared at Castle and went back over to their desks.
"They'll get over it." Beckett said to Castle as he sat down in his chair.
"Have you?" Castle asked.
"No..." Beckett replied honestly, "But I will."
"About earlier...
"You want an update on the case we're working on?"
"Sure." Castle smiled, being patient for Kate.
Beckett then opened the case file and told him about the suspect they were out to get. Castle was giddy now that he was back, coming up with his crazy theories about the Russian mafia and/or aliens. Even the occasional possession.
"Castle, demons did not possess our suspect to kill Adam." Beckett groaned, secretly butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.
"How do you know? Why have bible scriptures all over your wall?" Castle retorted playfully.
"Maybe he's religious."
"Maybe. But still..."
"Castle demons aren't real."
"Have you ever heard of Ed and Lorraine Warren?"
"No."
Beckett watched as Castle's face lit up, "And here I thought you were a fan of the horror genre."
"I am." Beckett huffed.
"The Conjuring?"
"Oh," Beckett remembered, "I know who you're talking about. They're a cute couple."
"I like how that's what you focus on, instead of the demons in the movie." He laughed.
"Shut up." She laughed back pushing him in the shoulder.
"You love me." He teased.
"Yeah right," Beckett said, she almost let the words 'you're right' slip from her mouth, but she managed to stop it, "Back to the case. Ryan and Espo are getting his phone records this morning from the phone we found in his apartment. If he's using a phone, it's probably a burner."
"Right."
As the day progressed they tracked down the suspect and brought him in. Castle was let in on the interrogation which was the highlight of his day; seeing Beckett in her element made him beam. It turns out their suspect, David, was the killer. And to Castle's disappointment no demons were involved. Although maybe no demons was a good thing.
After the killer was booked it was around noon.
"You hungry Castle?" Beckett asked, stretching her arms above her head. Her turtleneck rose with her arms, revealing some of her smooth skin to him. It was only a little peek, but immediately his mind went to when she would, or he, would pull the shirt off of her while they threw themselves into a fit of passion. He swallowed. And Beckett noticed. She immediately put her arms down and cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"I could go for a good burger." Castle replied, trying to clear the awkwardness.
"Huh?"
"You asked if I was hungry."
"Oh, right. Remy's?"
"You read my mind." He grinned.
The pair then left the precinct for Kate's lunch break and walked instead of drove because the weather was extra nice today. The air was crisp and the sky was blue. They reached Remy's quicker than they both thought. It wasn't a long walk but it wasn't short either. But it passed quickly because they were so absorbed in talking with each other. They were laughing and chatting away like nothing else mattered. When they entered and got seated with drinks ordered Castle told her how much fun he was having.
"Thank you for taking me back." He said genuinely.
"Yeah..." Kate replied, pausing, then continuing, "I really missed you."
"Ditto."
She giggled and it was music to Rick's ears. He was head over heels in love with her and he never knew that he could feel this happy and full of life with a single person.
They chatted more and ordered their food. They ate and talked some more. Soon they were done and still telling each other stories about anything that came to mind. Their waitress was a sweet middle-aged woman who when she handed them their check said, "You two lovebirds have a great rest of your day." She then left them with time to pay.
The duo avoided each other's eyes after the waitress left but Castle was the first to search for her eyes. She didn't meet his so he pulled out his card to place it on their receipt. Beckett reached out and grabbed his arm. She met his eyes.
"No." She said.
"Huh?" Castle asked confused.
"I'll pay."
"No, my treat. I owe you."
"Well I owe you for all those coffees."
"You don't owe me anything. Please. Let me." He asked of her. She nodded gently.
After they paid and left the silence wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. It was like they both had something on their mind they wanted to say to one another but couldn't do it. Kate wanted to tell him how much fun she had, how she hadn't had this much fun since he left and that she cares about him so much. But she didn't know if she could articulate her thoughts into words so she took action. As the were walking through a crosswalk bumping into people she grabbed his hand. Laced their fingers together. She didn't know if she wanted him to know she did it because she wanted to and not because of the fear of getting separated. But when they got through the crosswalk and were out of the crowd she let her hand stay in his. She didn't look over but she could feel his smile. She could see it out of the corner of her eye. And that made her happy.
Xxx
I am so sorry I haven't updated. If anyone still reads this thank you. I have so many ideas but I can't write them down as fast as they come. But thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who still read this :)
:)