Juice was sitting in the van staring at the little Irish bar across the street. They were staking out the Irish in an attempt to locate Galen or one of his crew. He'd been looking at the building for so long; he could see those damn neon Irish shamrocks behind his eyelids when he blinked. He checked his phone, smiling at the picture of his daughter with huge headphones on her head. The caption explained it was a present from her 'fairy godmother'.
"That's one sweet girl you got there," Tig stated, nodding at the phone.
Juice shut his phone quickly, not exactly pleased that Tig was snooping in on his personal life. "Yeah," he said, his voice rough and tired. "How's Fawn doin'?"
Tig shrugged a shoulder, his blue eyes staring out the front window. "Dunno. She won't talk to me. Least she's safe, y'know?"
He nodded in agreement, staring back at the bar. "You ever wished you'd a kept them here?"
"No," he answered honestly. "Wish I woulda made more of effort to see 'em though. Their Ma was a bitch, but I love those girls. Shoulda showed it more when they were growin' up."
"Why didn't you want them here?"
Tig shrugged again. "They were born smack in the middle of that Mayan war. All the shit that was going on...it was better they were gone. No way could I have been dad and Sergeant. Hard to flip off that switch and be a good dad. Better that they were far away. Outta sight, outta mind," he explained, before he realized why Juice was asking. "You're not gonna make her leave are ya?"
Juice shrugged in response. It wasn't a bad idea. It'd be nice to know she was out of Charming and safe. One less thing to worry about. But he knew there was no way she'd up and leave. Not unless he gave her a reason to. "Dunno," he answered curtly. "You think I should?"
He frowned, running a hand through his crazy hair. "Eve's, what, a month, two months old now?"
"Two weeks," he corrected, wondering how Tig could possibly think two months had gone by. "Two weeks and already two brothers have died and she's in her first lockdown."
"Kids love lockdown. Always thought it'd be fun to have the girls here for one. One big sleepover."
"She's two weeks old," he repeated incredulously. "She barely knows what's going on."
"Which is why it don't matter if they're here or far away. She don't know what's goin' on. It ain't gonna scar her later. Keep her close as long as you can 'cause there'll be a time when she won't want to be close anymore 'n' that shit hurts. Ang too. There's gonna come a point when she wants out like Tara. The smart ones always do... 'cept Gemma, of course."
Juice sighed, running a hand over his head. "But what if they get hurt? What if the Irish come after 'em? Then what? I lose 'em anyway."
"Not gonna happen," Tig said as if he was positive. "No way."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Just can be. Have a little faith in the club, Juicy. Look at Gemma and Tara, Abel and Thomas, the Winston kids, they're all alive and kicking."
Juice snorted at that, shaking his head. "Gemma was...taken by those Nazi assholes, Tara and Angel were kidnapped by Salazar, then Angel was shot by that asshole, Abel was kidnapped by that Irish prick and the Winston kids have lost not only their mom and dad but their grandpa too. You call that safe?"
"Didn't say safe. Said alive," Tig pointed out. " 'sides, look at Tommy. Nothin's happened to him."
"Not helpin'."
The older man sighed, straightening up in his seat slightly. "Look, you love them, right?" he asked. Juice looked at him like he was an idiot, so he continued without an answer. "Don't send 'em away just 'cause a all this shit. You might not get 'em back."
"That what happened to you?"
Tig was quiet for a moment, clearly lost in his thoughts. "Somethin' like that," he admitted softly. "Thought I was gettin' rid of their Ma. Didn't realize she'd keep the girls from me too."
Juice looked down at the phone in his hand, flipping it open to the picture of Angela and Evie on the home screen. He didn't have that problem. Angela would never keep Evie away from him; she'd promised him that. He didn't want to lose Angela though. But if he didn't send them away, he could lose them too...permanently. Things had to change if he wanted them to stay here. "You think Jax'll get us out of all this shit?"
"Eventually," he answered on a nod. "Not gonna be fast, not gonna be safe, but it'll happen. You ain't the only one with a young kid. Jax wants to see his boys safe too."
He nodded slowly, letting that sink in. Staring back at the building they were surveying, he let out a long sigh. The three shamrocks in the front turned off, one by one. Someone he didn't recognize walked out and locked the doors before getting into his truck and driving off. "They locked up for the night," he told Tig. "Should we call Jax?"
Tig nodded, pulling out is burner. "Don't push her away. Won't be worth it in the end."
Juice slunk down in his seat, thinking over what Tig said. He didn't see how he could keep his girls both safe and close. The violence seemed to be seeping into every aspect of his life. He'd killed a brother and an innocent woman, he'd seen his brothers hacked to pieces, what was next? How bad could it get before they were done with it? He was almost scared to find out.
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Angela carried Evie outside wanting desperately to escape the attention that was being bestowed on her by every woman in the clubhouse. The Croweaters, Old Ladies, and daughters got those sparkles in their eyes when they saw the baby girl. All of them asking to hold her and fussing over her. Evie didn't seem to mind much, but it was driving Angela crazy. She didn't like being the center of attention on her best days; being it in the clubhouse was a million times worse. She spotted Tara and the boys out at the playground with Kenny and Ellie but decided to head to the office instead. Opening the door, she wasn't surprised to find Gemma sitting inside looking over paperwork. "Oh hey sweetheart," Gemma greeted, looking at her over her sunglasses. "You hiding out in here?"
She smirked at Gemma and nodded. "It's getting claustrophobic in there. Evie's not a fan of so much attention."
"Bullshit. Mommy's not a fan of the attention," she corrected on a snort. She took off her glasses and set them down on the desk. "Let me see that baby."
Angela begrudgingly handed her over before stretching out on the couch, a soft sigh leaving her lips. She stared at the picture of a Harley on the wall before clearing her throat. If there was one person she could be honest with, it was Gemma. "You ever worry about your guys getting pulled in too deep?"
"You worried about Juice?" she shot back, avoiding the question.
She twisted her ring around her finger nervously. "He's...different now, Gem. I don't know how to explain it. It's like he's on this...edge. Like he's lost or something. And all of this shit...it's not helping. I catch these, glimpses of who he was when he's holding Evie or when it's just the two of us talking about something stupid but then the club calls or something reminds him of it and he just...he shuts off."
Gemma sighed heavily. "This have to do with Clay?"
"I think so," she said, raking her hand through her hair. "I've been trying to get him to talk to me about it, but he shuts down. He doesn't want to let me in. I feel so...useless."
"You can't fix everything, baby," she told her softly. "Things are hard now and Juice is...he's not made of the same stuff the other guys are. He's young and...sweet. This killing shit, turning against brothers, that ain't him. He's tryin' to change to fit a mold that isn't meant for him. You just keep reminding him who he is. Make sure he knows you still love him. Because you do, right?"
Angela looked up from her shoes and met Gemma's stare. "Yeah, of course."
"And that ring on your finger that no one seems to be noticing 'cause of this sweet thing, that means you're in it for the long run. Right, Mrs. Ortiz?"
She smirked at that and nodded. "Right."
"Then keep tryin'. Don't lose faith in him. He's done some stupid shit, but I know him like he was my own son and that boy loves you. This shit'll pass and things will go back to normal. They always do."
Angela was a little reluctant to believe her seeing as the Queen had been through three men in the span of her reign. Things didn't go back to normal for her, she'd just found a new normal with a new man. That wasn't an option for her. "Hope so," she said on a sigh, just as there was a knock on the door.
Nero stepped in, a wide smile on his face. " 'ey look who's here! It's the angelita," he exclaimed, nodding towards Evie. He stuck his head in more and smiled at Angela. He sat down on the arm of the couch next to her, reaching out a hand to squeeze her shoulder before kissing her head. "How's it goin' lil' Mama?" (Little angel)
She smiled up at him. It was strange to hear her childhood nickname used on her daughter, but she didn't mind it. If he was going to call her daughter anything, calling her a 'little angel' wasn't bad at all. She had to admit she was fond of the older man. He reminded her so much of her Uncle Chico that it felt like she'd known him her whole life. "Doin' good, thanks," she said around a yawn.
"Cansada?" he asked, smiling slightly. "Little one keepin' you up?" (Tired?)
"Mmm. She hasn't quite grasped the concept of letting Mama sleep," she confirmed on a nod. "Being away from home doesn't make it any easier."
Nero grimaced, exchanging a quick glance with Gemma. "How long does this, uh, lockdown last?"
"Oh, I'm not sure," Gemma replied on a sigh.
She looked pointedly at Angela, holding Evie out to her with her arms outstretched. Angela got up with a grunt, taking Evie from her and smiling at her daughter. "C'mon, baby girl. Grandmama Gemma doesn't want us around here anymore. She's got to talk to Nero privately."
Gemma laughed a little, shaking her head at the undertaker. "I'll see you two later, sweetheart."
Angela nodded, looking up at Nero with a smile. "Hasta la vista," she said, winking at the older man.
He chuckled, taking a step back to let her by. "Adios, nena. Cuidate." (By, little girl. Take care of yourself.)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said as she walked away, heading back to the clubhouse. She found Chloe sitting on one of the picnic tables outside, a beer at her hip. "Little early for beer, isn't it?"
Chloe looked miserable as she shrugged. "Five o'clock somewhere."
Angela handed her Evie before moving to sit next to her. Chloe didn't give the baby back, just held her a little closer. "How many beers have you had?"
"Just the one," she answered on a sigh. "I'm not gonna lie, this shit sucks."
She smirked in response, holding up her shirt to reveal three thin scars on her rib cage. "That'd be from the top of the fence surrounding the Tacoma clubhouse," she explained, pulling her shirt back down. "I was stuck in there for all of my first spring break over there. I did everything to get Happy to let me out, but he wouldn't. Finally, I got desperate, tried to scale the fence. Ripped the shit out of my shirt and got these scratches while I was climbing over it, got halfway down before one of the brothers grabbed me and tossed my ass on the ground."
Chloe laughed; the story didn't surprise her in the least. "Did it work?"
"No, of course not," she said on a sad smile. "Once Hap has his mind set, it doesn't change. I didn't get out of there until he deemed it acceptable. Found out later, he kept me in there a few extra days 'cause he didn't want me to go home for spring break."
"Why not?"
"Who knows?" Angela replied, though she knew very well the reason he'd kept her there. Both he and Kozik didn't let her go anywhere near California for the first two years, afraid that she'd meet up with Esai and get sucked right back into the life she was living before. But there were too many things to explain to Chloe in that reason. She didn't want to get into club politics and Mayans just yet. That was something Happy needed to clue her in on.
Chloe mulled over that for a moment before sighing. "Can I ask you something?"
" 'course."
"Listening to that story and some of the shit Hap says, it seems like you've been fighting against this club your whole life. Why...why'd you get into it with Juice?"
Angela looked at her daughter who was asleep in Chloe's arms and wondered how to answer that. "Juice is different from any Son I've ever met," she admitted with a small smile. "He was such a goof when I first met him. Always smiling and joking around. And I loved that. I needed that. Everyone in my life before him was always so serious. It was nice to have someone close to make me laugh. It was easy to forget he was a Son when we were together. I didn't see the Reaper when I was with him; I just saw him. And I accidentally fell in love with him. That's it. I fell in love with Juan Carlos Ortiz. Not the club's intelligence officer, just Juice. When I looked at him, I didn't see the cut, just that cheesy, goofy smile."
Chloe smiled, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the mushiness of the story. "And the club..."
"I'm going to tell you what every Old Lady hears at least once. You love the man, you learn to love the club," she said, laughing a bit as she said them.
"That sounds like a Gemma quote," Chloe stated on a smirk.
Angela nodded, reaching up to play with the crow skull on her necklace. "It is, but its true."
"You love the club?"
"I used to," she admitted with a small smile. "Before all of this crazy shit happened...I used to see how happy it made him. How much he loved his brothers and wearing that cut. But lately, it's been...complicated."
Chloe sighed, rubbing her hand up and down Evie's back. "Everythin' all right between you two?"
Angela nodded. "We're fine," she answered honestly. Because they were fine. It was Juice that wasn't okay. At Chloe's look, she sighed. "Don't worry about it, Chlo. I'm handling it."
"Ang..."
She stood, holding her arms out for her daughter. "I should go feed her," she said, taking Evie from Chloe and carrying her back into the clubhouse.
"Hey!" Chloe called after her as she jumped down off the table. Angela turned around, eyebrows raised, an expression that was so like Happy's, she couldn't help but smirk. "Heard you've got the WiFi password."
Angela smirked back and gestured for her to follow her. "C'mon. Clubhouse has the best internet."
Chloe laughed as she followed her into the clubhouse. "Juice?"
"My man's got magic fingers," she said, winking at her friend.
"That is so gross," she muttered, wrinkling her nose in response. "So what's the password?"
Angela rattled off a long, seemingly random series of numbers. At Chloe's confused look, she grinned. "My birth month, his birth month, my birthday, his birthday, the month we met, the year he was born, the year I was born, the year we met, the day we found out about Evie, and the month she was supposed to be born in," she explained.
Chloe couldn't help but smile at that. "That idiot is crazy in love with you."
"He's not an idiot," she defended softly. "He's actually kind of brilliant."
"Because you're crazy in love with him."
Angela rolled her eyes. "We're not Jay-Z and Beyonce."
"Please, you wish you were Beyonce," she teased, flipping her hair sassily.
She shook her head, laughing at her. "Get outta here. I gotta feed her, and I don't need you staring at my boobs."
"Pssh! Nothing I haven't seen before!" she called over her shoulder as she left the room and closed the door behind her.
Angela looked down at Evie as she got comfortable on the bed, grabbing her breastfeeding pillow and settling herself. "Your godmother is a loser, Eves," she said, rolling her eyes again. "But I love her."
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Juice had never been happier to be dismissed from a club job early than he was when Jax told him and Tig to go back to the clubhouse. After staying up for most of the night to watch the Irish, he was exhausted. Taking a step into the main room, he took in a deep breath, relaxing a bit at the familiar smell of beer and cigarette smoke. His eyes scanned the floor, looking for the one person that could make him feel better. "They're in your old room. Evie needed a nap," a voice said from his side. He turned to find Chloe looking up at him. "You look like you could use one too."
He ran a hand over his face and nodded in agreement. "Thanks, Chlo," he said, trudging in the direction of the dorm rooms. He opened the door and smiled at the sight of his angels asleep on the bed, Angela on her stomach, her hand on Evie's tummy as if she were afraid the baby would roll off of the bed despite the barrier of pillows she'd built next to her.
With a sigh, he shrugged out of his cut, hanging it up on a nearby hook before toeing off his boots. Tossing the pillows to the side, he stretched out next to his daughter with a tired groan. The movement and the noise woke her up, and she looked at him with those big dark eyes. "Hey baby girl," he said, moving his face closer to hers. Her little hand reached out for his nose, little fingers curling around it. His heart felt like it was going to explode. He moved his face to kiss her hand. "Love you, Monk."
There was a light knock on the door, and he scowled. He'd been lying down for all of two seconds. Lifting Evie into his arms, he padded his way over and opened it. Chloe was standing there, her hands on her hips. As soon as he opened the doors, she swept in and grabbed Evie's diaper bag, slinging it over her shoulder. She held her arms out for Evie. "Give me the kid. You need to rest and so does Ang."
A sense of relief swept through him as he nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, dropping a kiss to Evie's head before handing her over to Chloe. "You're the best, Chlo."
"I know. No sex, Ortiz. You could really hurt her," Chloe warned, glaring at him over the baby's head.
Juice sighed, hanging his head. He didn't need the reminder. He was painfully aware of how much time they had left before they could get physical again. "I know, I know," he muttered, waiting until she walked away to close the door.
Much to his surprise, Angela had slept through the whole exchange. She must've been wiped out to not have woken up once. He pulled off his shirt before lying down on the bed next to her once more. This time, when he lay down on the bed, the movement woke her up with a jolt. "Oh shit!" she exclaimed her eyes wide as she scrambled to get up. Her eyes were wild as she looked around the room, searching for her daughter.
His chuckle pulled her out of her panic. "Chlo took her. Wanted to give us some time alone," he explained, stretching out his arm to her.
She raked a hand through her hair. "Shit, that scared the crap outta me," she breathed, hand to her heart. She was kneeling by his hip, trying her best to relax.
"Now you know how I felt," Juice teased before tugging on the front of her shirt, a silent plea for her to come closer. She didn't disappoint. With a relieved sigh, she stretched out beside him, lying her head on his chest as he curled his arm around her. He could feel her heart beating rapidly against his side. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Relax, Angel. She's all right."
Angela nodded against him, taking in deep breaths to slow her pulse. "I know. Sorry," she said, letting out a long breath before looking up at him. "Hi. How are you?"
"Good," he replied, dipping his head to catch her lips in a quick kiss. "Got that picture. What the hell does Monk need headphones for?"
"They block out sound. She actually likes them, surprisingly," Angela said on a laugh. Her fingers skimmed over his skin, drawing aimless designs over his abs.
He shifted uncomfortably under her ministrations; her soft touch was driving him insane. "Angel..." he said, a warning in his tone. Her lips replaced her fingers, pressing soft kisses over his skin. "Baby, baby, stop," he said, his voice husky with lust. "We can't...Chlo said..."
Her dark eyes met his as she trailed kisses lower down his torso. "Don't care," she said, tugging at his belt buckle.
"Angel..."
She could feel his already hard length underneath his jeans and lifted an eyebrow. "You really gonna stop me now?" she challenged, watching his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed hard.
He shook his head slowly. Groaning as she teased him through his jeans. "Fuck, baby. Don't stop."
Angela grinned wickedly at him, slowly kissing her way back up his chest until she caught his lips with hers in a searing kiss. "You sure? Chlo said..." she teased, gasping when he nipped at the skin of her neck.
He was sure now, more than he'd ever been. It'd been too long since they'd been close like this, too long since he got to have his hands all over her. He growled as he flipped her over onto her back, trapping her beneath him. "Fuck it. What does she know?"
Her responding smile made his heart flip. "Now that's more like it."
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Angela put her forehead to his as they lay there after, both of them out of breath. They'd taken things slow, almost painstakingly so, both very aware that they weren't supposed to be getting so physical with each other so soon after her pregnancy. Juice had been so careful and sweet with her as they made love. She moved her head to press her lips to his, a soft lazy kiss. "That was...awesome," she said on a breath.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, his dark eyes worried.
"Nope," she said softly. She was sore, but she'd live. It had been totally worth it. She rested her hand on his cheek, thumb gently dragging over the healing cut underneath his eye. "Are you okay?"
"Never better," he rasped, kissing her lips before trailing kisses across her cheek to her ear. "I love you," he whispered, making her shiver against him.
Angela's hand smoothed over his arm, sliding over the contours of his muscles. "Love you too," she replied, her lips meeting his briefly. She studied his face, worried a little by the dark, pensive expression on it. Something was troubling him, and she was going to do her best to find out what it was. "What's goin' on between those two tats, Juice?"
He closed his eyes, smiling a bit at the familiar question. "Conversation I had with Tig."
"Well that's a scary thought," she teased, laughing.
The corners of his mouth turned up with the hint of a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Askin' about his daughters. How he handled them growin' up in all of this...shit."
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Did they grow up here?"
He frowned a bit and shook his head. "That's the thing. Their mom took 'em away. They stayed safe, off the radar for...years. It wasn't until he killed Pope's daughter that they ever were in danger. And I...I worry that keepin' you and Evie here is gonna...I don't want you getting hurt," he said, his voice rougher than usual. "I love you, Angel. So much shit has already happened to you 'cause a me. You were kidnapped twice. Got a concussion, stabbed, and shot. All this stuff happened to you 'cause of me. And I...I don't want Evie to ever have to go through any of that shit."
Angela's face grew serious, worry and confusion creasing her brow. "Baby, none of that was your fault. I was with Tara because she is my friend. She was my friend before I met you. Not as close but...still. And the second time was all Mel. That had nothing to do with you. I could've been dating a lawyer, and he'd a still pulled that stunt. He was crazy, Juice."
"He wouldn't have gone off on you like that if you weren't with me. He thought he was takin' you away to a better life."
"He wasn't," she said decidedly. "I'm not gonna leave, Juice. This is my home. You're my home."
Juice sighed, feeling a little frustrated by her answer. "You could have a better life. You and Eves. Roosevelt even said it. You have no record, no ink, nothin' to tie you to us."
She scowled at him. "Free of what exactly, Juice?"
"Free of all this violence, free of people being hacked to pieces...free of me. You take off your rings and the necklace I gave you and...you could be free. No one would know you had anything to do with SAMCRO."
Angela reached up her hands to frame his face. Her dark eyes searched for his, trying to understand where he was coming from. She could see the fear in his light brown eyes, the worry, the sadness. The club and everything they were doing was wearing on him. He wasn't meant for this life; she'd known that the moment she'd met him. It was why she'd fallen in love with him. "I love you, Juice," she said before connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. "And I don't want to be free of you. Ever. You're it for me. You're the father of my kid, you're...Juice, you're everything to me. Don't you know that by now?"
Juice nodded. "I do but-"
"But nothing," she interrupted quickly. "We're safe here. With you. There is no safer place for us."
"I don't know if that's true anymore," he admitted softly.
Angela's heart broke at the sadness in his eyes as he met hers. He truly believed that they should leave him, that they'd be safer without him in their lives. "Don't push me away, baby," she pleaded, feeling her own tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "This is where I want to be."
Juice nodded, pulling her in closer to him with a sigh. He held her against his chest, his hand smoothing over the warm skin of her back. "This is where I want you," he said softly.
"Then don't let me go."