Warning: Not for innocent mind.
A/N: I hope I give justice to this...
(Forth)
"Can I just kiss you?"
Those are the words that slipped out of my mouth to tease him, to get smart at him since he has always been a smartass himself...However, the moment my eyes fell upon his handsome-adorably beautiful face, I instantly know I was just lying.
It was a lie when I said I just meant to tease him, to get smartass at him, because all these times, it has always been my utmost desire.
He quietly stares at me. Eyes scrutinizing the heft of my words.
I stare back, to let him know all the feelings that are smoldering inside. Those feelings that I keep on having under control every time I am with him, because I don't want to rush things out since he's new to this situation and still in the process of figuring everything.
But at this very moment, after he had kissed me at the parking lot when he obviously got jealous over those freshmen (though he wouldn't admit it) and had helped our faculty, the control I have that has been desperately hanging by the thread is little by little snapping off me. I have this strong urge to take that smartass mouth into mine. To reward him for what he did for our faculty. But, who am I kidding? Whatever he does, I will always use it as an excuse to get closer, literally and figuratively, to him.
I hold my breath as his coffee-colored eyes turn darker, mirroring the apparent shade of my eyes.
Is he allowing me?
I lean in, enough to let our breaths mingle. I wait for any objection or violent reaction, but nothing comes. Instead, he crosses the little space between us to claim my eager lips.
I sigh over him. His kiss is a slightly parting of his lips, letting me explore the sweetness of his intoxicating mouth, and making me feel every exchange of our shallow breaths. His lips are warmer, and softer, and sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I can't help but moving even closer, pressing his back against the bed. The sensation of the touches of our tongues sends a strong feeling of warmth spiraling through my whole system, giving a delightful tremors in my nerves, and igniting all the splintering desire in my body...
I pull back before I could totally lose my control which is starting to get evident beneath my pants, and taking him on.
His eyes open and catch mine, searching for the reason why I stop.
"I want you... But I will never do anything you don't want." I explain, my voice is thick with the desire I find hard to hide.
"You think, I don't want this?"
No. Everything about him is the exact reflection of my feelings and yearnings. I could feel the little restraint I am achingly holding, slipping out of my hand.
"You know what will happen if we wouldn't stop," I say.
His chest rises and falls. "I know."
"It will not be the same as your past lovers." Why do I feel a slight prick in the chest with the memory of it?
A hint of irritation passes through his face. "They are not my loversss. Why do you have to bring it out of the blue? And I know perfectly that it will not be the same because... You're different from them... You are Forth...and..." He suddenly averts my gaze to probably hide the flushing of his cheeks. "...you hold a special space in my heart," he mutters.
........
Did I hear him right? My heart is drumming wildly and loudly inside my chest that I might have heard him wrong.
"What did you say?" I ask, my lips quiver a little. But the surge of a familiar warm and delight in my chest tells me, I heard him right.
I already hold a special place in his heart.
He bites his lower lip to hide his embarrassment. He's always doing it and I feel like doing the honor of biting it for him.
Until I just realize, my mouth lingering on his lower lip. I think, I heard the snapping sound of my restraint as I can't hold myself back anymore. Anyway, he never resists or pushes me away. Rather, he's answering back all the kisses with same intensity and passion which I feel in my body, like a tremble I couldn't still. I want him so badly.
"Beam..." I breath out on his ear. He tenses. "Please tell me you want me, too." Nuzzling on his cheek.
"Isn't it obvious?" He croaks a little. I smile. It's very obvious.
"But I want to hear it from your mouth."
He sighs in frustration, and I think it's too adorable. He turns my face to look straight into my eyes.
"You're fucking obnoxious, do you know that?" I smirk. "Nonetheless, I still want you. You're the only person I have felt this way, make me feel this way. So, if you will not stop asking and continue being irksome, I'll shove my shoes in your mouth."
Typical Beam. I could only smile. The flush on his already redden face makes feel so dizzy with the idea that's it's really happening. That we are about to do the thing beyond kissing, both sober and not just dreaming.
Tentatively, I am leaning in slowly, tilting his jaw with my fingers, and kissing him softly on his sweet lips before my mouth slides down his neck. Anyway, his mouth is better than shoes. His pulse reaches a little escalation under my lips. I allow myself the minor delight of nuzzling, breathing in his delectable morning dew scent as my hand mapping out his body, unbuttoning his shirt and feeling the heated skin beneath.
His breath hitches under my touch. Fingers sliding up the fine line of his collarbone. His looks paler and pristine against my sun-kissed skin. The arrogant balance of his proportion is perfect beyond my imagination.
We are breathing in tandem. Holding our ourselves very still.
I kissed him, firm and slow. Letting him know all my feelings. My hands draws down over his taut stomach, over the controlled rise and fall of his breath. Then tracing the faint line of hair with my fingertips, until resting on the place where the line disappears. He's throbbing as I am.
His breath is ragged under me while I undo the pieces of garments between us with shaky hands. I feel like a neophyte in this area, whereas I have done it before. It's just that Beam is right. It's really different with the person you cherish a lot. It will always be like your first time of everything: exciting and exhilarating, sometimes nerve-wrecking. Meanwhile, this lover of mine undoes my clothes in a delicate manner that leaves fire in every brush of his hands on my skin.
There was an interval of touching and kissing while tugging his pants down and off. I smooth my hand up on his thigh that instantly flex as a moan escapes from his lips, driving my hormones mad. I desperately gather all the details I could.
Suddenly needing it, I push away and down. Beam hazily half-follows by pushing up on one arm, wondering, perhaps, of the change of course. My hand reaches between his legs, thumbs it, and feels its wild pulse. Texture like hot silk
I look up at him through hooded eyes, letting him know what I want. He has this skeptical look, nonetheless he hasn't objected. His implicit permission makes me simply apply my mouth.
For all his experiences, Beam reacts like an innocent to this pleasure. He let out a soft, shocked moan, and his body re-forms around the place where I am giving my full attention. I hold him in place, enjoying every helpless groan from him that seems to be a music to my ears. I draw up the head and furl my tongue there, so well pleased with this experience that I linger, suckling, before sliding back down. I find myself primed to each of his reaction, the tension on my stomach, the tremble on my thighs.
I could feel Beam's cycle of reaction and controlled compliance beneath me. Glacing up I see that his hand is fists in the sheet. His exposed arousal is hot and hard in my mouth.
I pull back before the paroxysmal excitement, then push myself up to search Beam's face. He's covering his face with his other hand to, probably, hide his embarrassed. It's so adorable. I gently tug his hands from his face, revealing the carnal desire in his eyes.
Our breaths are shallow and in tandem.
"I want to come inside you," I say with soft honesty. "And I want you to come in my arms."
He tries to even out his breathing. "You like to be on top, huh?"
"I do. Never more so than at this moment."
His eyes linger at mine for a moment before he shifts to other things, biting that lovely bottom lip.
"I don't know... I am... scared." It comes out so raw. He has never been so vulnerable like this that I want to punch myself for bringing him into this. At the same time, I want to hold him gently in my arms.
"But I want to do this..." he suddenly adds as he turns back his gaze to me, full of tender and determination. "I want you to make love to me."
Despite of the bugging uncertainties within him, he clearly wants it: mind, heart, and body.
And so do I.
"I want to make love to you," I say softly, caressing over his cheek and he closes his eyes to feel it.
My hand slides up the length of Beam's arm, and catches hold of his hand to intertwine as I lean down to kiss him in a slow and deliberate manner. His body lightly trembles while my own hands becomes unsteady. Breathing is becoming difficult. It's a series of intimate kisses and our bodies in full alignment. My free hand marvels beneath him, tracing that beautiful curve of his back. Then, I draw up one of his legs, feel the warm of his inner tight while he presses his heel into my back.
I feel the opening, then slides a raw finger to prepare his body. It's so tight.
His nails dig at my back, cusses at the completely new sensation. I whisper on his ear, trying to coax him with my words and kisses. To focus with the pleasure rather than the uncomfortable pain. He nods like an obedient child, allowing himself and me to feel this moment.
I move my finger back and forward in slow, careful motion. Watching him flushing and changing his expressions, eyes wide and dark. My skin feels too hot, too tight. The ideas of what might happen in bed with him is beyond an aching tenderness, which is only now finding physical expression. I couldn't help kissing him over and over again, as my finger does its job until his body beginning to open.
My mind has drifted to the series of imaginable and tangible things I would like to do with him, now and in the future. I close my eyes and feel the place where we mean to interlock, to fit.
"Do you trust me?" I say it bare with all the desire and effort of restraint. Suddenly, feeling nervous with its reality.
"Yes," he breaths out, tension crests in his full submission.
The sensation of delight and tenderness that rushes over me, takes over my anxiety. No other words are needed to know that he's allowing me of everything. Allowing me in. Inside him. Every connection of skin against skin feels too hotly intimate. This is what I want, and will always want. I couldn't think of anything but the slow press forward into Beam's body. The head of my cock pushing into the heat.
He cries and curses out of pain which I try to smother it down by kissing him gently. Assuring him that everything will be okay.
I think, I feel the peeling off of skin, and dropping of blood at my back as his finger nails sink further as if his life depends on it. I let him do it. I don't care how many bruises I will get as long as it's helping him with the pain.
Beam has always been my precious gear... The only person who can fill up my heart and ease my mind. The one who can only complete and give function to my life. Giving up on him before was the biggest mistake I've done that I will never ever do again. Nothing will be holding me back anymore.
I do it slow and steady according to his pace, til Beam has adjusted to the sensation and synchronization. We are now both in rhythm. Forgetting all the inhibitions. My full weight's on him now, my full length is moving inside, deeper. My hand is holding him, gentle and firm. It was wholly sensate: Beam's sweet inarticulate words, his blushing cheeks, erratic and wild beat, even the tremble of his own muscles.
"You're mine, Beam," I couldn't help muttering.
"Forth..." he moans, tender in my ear.
Our bodies are escalating its rhythm, our arms winding around each other, my lips on his neck, some close-eyed desire to have him as near as possible. I am all the way inside, each thrust driving closer to an end of the height of sexual arousal, and still I want it to be deeper.
I feel him begin to spill, the pulsing jerk of his body, the first wet stripe of it, hot as blood. Beam comes beneath me, and I try to experience all of it, to hold on as I empty myself inside him.
Everything seems surreal. Ethereal. If only I could hold the time, I want this moment to be forever.
I tenderly press my lips on his sweated forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, and lips which he gladly accepts.
"Thank you," I whisper, because he let me have this moment.
Beam smiles beneath my arms.
A/N
So, that's the reason why I can't reply with your previous comments, and have to focus.😆😆
Among all the chapters, obviously, this one is the most challenging because... Uhm... you know...yeah. As much as possible, I want it to be romantic yet sexy, to give satisfaction to you, guys.
I have to draft and undraft, then draft again and undraft... (And the circle continues) until, I feel the beat. I even thought of not writing this part, but that scene is the start of everything. The start of ForthBeam (though the stroy line is different), and I can't just ommit it.
I really hope I pull it off..🙇🙇🙏
I hope you enjoy... Comment down your feelings as I am conditioning back my innocent mind.😁