Love is never supposed to be limited, it's not supposed to be stopped at a point or have boundaries made by others aren't involved and who wouldn't understand. Especially for no reason, just because someone will get all pissy about it.
With that aside..
Loving him came natural, loving him was something that I felt in my heart the second I laid eyes on him. It was easy, like a feather floating in a gentle breeze. My heart would break for him the second he'd ask.
He's that person that everyone has in their life, that one person who makes you vulnerable, but they don't know. They'd never know because you could never express your feelings to them, you like them so much you think it will scare them away. Your feelings are so intense, it's hard to explain them.
But I can't, I shouldn't feel this way about him. It feels like I'm sinning.
Why though? I ask myself that all the time and I have a couple of answers that will be evident in my journey through life.
But the big question is, why should someone like Jeon Jungkook be off limits anyways?
Oh, because he's my best friends brother, that's why.
--
Ugh, the smell of the school lunch always disgusts me. I just smells like refrigerated food that's past its due date, which would be illegal.. and would violate all different kinds of district and FDA codes. I'm probably over exaggerating, but the smell really isn't too appetizing. It still confuses me as to why students make themselves suffer through the pain of week old food and rice that is beyond soggy.
That's why I always make and bring my own food, my mother teaches me how to cook for a reason. But I would definitely NOT eat my friends food, she can't cook if her life depended on it. "Yuna, I really wish that you'd stop being a drama queen and just try this rice I made." She says scooting her lunch box at me. "You mean this pudding?" I ask, teasing.
She gives me the death stare. "Fine, fine." I say using my chopsticks to take some of her rice. It makes me chuckle, it doesn't look like rice at all. More like a glob starch. I take it into my mouth, the texture is not what rice should feel like. I start laughing, in a teasing way. "Ugh, stop. I told you I'd try harder." She says.
"Aaaahaha Jae, there's no reason to get all worked up about some rice. It's just rice at the end of the day." I tell her, taking another glob with my chopsticks, it's actually good. I take back the insults on the behalf of the rice. Honestly, the only thing that you'd call an issue is the fact that it's just really soggy.
I can already predict that she must've added too much water, though I told her for every cup of rice is two cups of water. "I know, but how will I impress Jimin, if I can't even prepare rice? It's such a basic thing!" Ugh, this stuff again. I slowly look over to the table where Jimin and his friends sit at lunch.
I kind of start to shut her out as she starts to blab on about how they'd look cute together and why doesn't he just kiss her already with his thick candy lips. That his lips are like thick laffy taffy and she wants to bite them and suck on them, she's very aggressive I may add. And I guess I didn't block her out that much if I know what she's talking about.
Jimin, a real fuck boy. He gets it in almost every lunch period with a different girl everyday. I'd like to think he has at least two sexual diseases, unless he's smart and uses a condom. But honestly I highly doubt it, I imagine him being the type that says.. 'I like how it feels without a condom'. He's a real ladies mochi, explains why Jae is so obsessed with him.
I've known that dick wad since I was in the first grade. He ripped my favorite raggedy Ann doll and I'll never forget it. Just kidding, but besides that he just knows he's the shit. He hangs out with two of the hottest guys in school, Taehyung. Mmm, that boy causes waterfalls everywhere. Even in a damn drought he can make a dry river wet.
Wait, what am I saying? That's Kim fucking Taehyung. Boy! Stop with the lip biting! I just need to calm my tits, okay? Then there's Jungkook. All the girls that don't want the other two guys in the group, definitely want him. Including me, since kindergarten. Honestly, maybe even since the womb. He never really acknowledges anyone, but I'm now noticing that he currently isn't sitting at the table.
"Yuna." I hear, slapping me out of my thoughts. "Huh?" I asks "Do you see my brother anywhere?" She asks looking around, his lunch wrapped box in her hands. My eyes shoot to the canteen doors and in walks Jungkook as if on cue, for a second I forget how to breathe. His uniform perfectly tucked into his slacks, showing off that small waist of his.
Every time he walked, it was like he had jello in the front of his pants, maybe he shouldn't walk so damn hard. Then his jello wouldn't say hello. My face heats up, I shouldn't be looking at that. My food falling off my chopsticks and back into the lunch container. Talk about an obvious stare, dumb bitch. Wait, was he looking at me? No, he can't be.
Our eyes lock and he walks towards our table, many girls turning to catch a glimpse of him. Probably looking at his cute butt, not that I think it's cute or anything. He slowly grins and brings his hand behind his neck. Oh God Yuna, look away!
I look at Jae, "He's coming over here, I'm guessing to get his lunch." I tell her. She turns her head only to have it crash into his body. "Ugh, I can't believe you almost left your lunch that I made for you." He laughs and ruffles her hair, messing up her side bangs.
"Maybe I left it on purpose, because of your rice pudding." He says. Her eyebrows knit. "Ah! Just cause you came out a minute before me doesn't mean you can be mean to me." She frowns. "And plus, Yuna likes the rice." She adds, he instantly looks at me.
He chuckles. "Oh yeah? It's not complete mush?" He asks, gaining a smack from Jae on his arm. "It's good mush, appreciate that Jae made you lunch." I tell him getting a chopstick full of rice and putting it in my mouth before looking at him, and raising an eyebrow. I'm being a little too flirty in front of Jae.
He grins and looks back at Jae, "Thanks little sister." He says taking the box and walking over to the table of his hot friends, making the hotness ten times as intense. That table is honestly on fire, I'm about to roast a marshmallow over them. I look back at Jae, "You're so nice Yuna, he's always nicer to me if other people say so." She smiles.
"No, but it's the truth, the rice is good." I push her lunch box towards her. Her smile grows more, "Really?!" She asks. "Yes! Why do you think I ate so much?" I laugh. She looks down at most of it is almost done. She then tries it herself and smiles, "Wow, I never thought I'd be good at rice. Can you help me make rice better? And other food? You're the culinary friend." She says.
I nod, "Of course." I say. "Ugh, you'd think sharing the womb with him would make him nicer to me." She says, shaking her head. "He's a guy, most guys are jerks especially to their siblings." I say, slowly looking over at the table where he is sitting. He takes a mouth full of rice before catching a glimpse of me looking at him.
He smirks and looks back at his friends, and I look back at Jae. "It's so annoying that girls always ask me what he likes and what he smells like." She rolls her eyes making me laugh, "I mean, he just smells like my brother. He occasionally smells like a girl because he's so delicate to smells like a baby. Gosh, girls even ask me what cologne he wears and I'm like.. stop humping my leg." She shakes her head.
"Yeah, kind of sounds like you.. don't you think?" I ask. Her jaw drops and her covers her mouth. "Oh my gosh, I think you're right!" She frowns. "It's so hard not to though." She sets her elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand. "Why am I so obsessed?" She asks.
"I don't know, I don't think you're obsessed though. You're really just infatuated with him, with that being said I don't think Jungkook would even approve of him. Your brother knows what Jimin does, and if your parents knew.. they wouldn't either." She slightly nods. "I need to find another crush don't I?" She asks.
"That's really up to you, only you know your heart and your feelings. Just try to keep in mind on what kind of person he is." I tell her. "Okaaaay." She says going back to her food, we both finish our lunches.
Before the bell rings she tells me to go with her to the bathroom. I wait for her outside because she's self conscious about me hearing her pee, it has always been that way. I've even told her that she seems to have a phobia called Paruresis, sometimes mentioned as shy bladder syndrome. But she doesn't believe that such a thing exists. So, I lean against the lockers like I always do.
I look down at my texts books, playing with the puff ball that hangs off of one of my bookmarks. The bell rings and I stay in place until I hear Jae come out of the bathroom. "Hey Yuna." Chills run up my spine, my body slowly turning to jelly and my breath gets caught in my throat. I look up, goosebumps form through my body.
"Hi Jungkook." I say as I let a breath out, it almost sounds like I'm tired of seeing him and believe me I'm not. Which was not my intent, but he seems to ignore it and I'm grateful that he does. "Thanks for telling me that my sisters rice was good, it really was." He smiles as he slowly walks past me. "You're welcome, I guess." I shrug to myself.
He stops in his tracks and walks up to me making me stand up straight. I'm stiffer than a damn tree, I dare not to move an inch. "Do you guess or so you know?" He asks, his eyebrow raising giving his face a teasing expression that only seems sexy to me. I shrug and as if on cue Jae walks out of the bathroom.
Jae gives no mind to her finer than wine brother, and we walk quickly to class. We don't want to be late.
I'm honestly dumb, he has the same class as us. "So, where do you think we will be going this time?" Jae asks. "For Mr Kim's class? I don't know, I hope somewhere romantic." I say. "Oh?" She looks at me. "Yeah! Cause when it's somewhere romantic, they'll have more antique shops. They'll have rings and necklaces, those shops scream decades of romance." I explain.
She smiles. "Ah, of course. You and your antique shops." She says, I nod and smile wide. When we get to our class we greet Mr Kim with ninety degree bows before we go to our seats. Once the class is filled Mr Kim begins his lecture. "Good afternoon class, today I will be revealing where our annual field trip will take place." Mr Kim says.
Everyone becomes excited instantly. "Our weekend field trip will take place in none other than Paris." He says. Excited applauds take place, including mine. "I've decided that it would be better if you choose your roommates, you all behave very well. Our last few field trips we never got complaints, just remember the rules."
Mr. Kim shows us the white board with writing on it and it displays the rules we are already aware of.
1. No co-ed rooming, two to a room
2. No sneaking out of your room after lights out.
3. Be on time to check in
4. Groups for touring will be assigned
But still he goes over it, even being that I'm bored, I keep the antique stores in mind. He turns on the overhead and the projector turns on. A very pastel slide comes up, it reads.. "We're going to Paris!" And there's a picture of the Eiffel Tower in the background, one that could easily be found on Google or something.
"What we will be doing on our field trip.. we will be examining the life of people who live there. We will be testing out the English we've learned, though not everyone speaks English in Paris. We shall speak it amongst our group!" Mr Seokjin explains. "Wouldn't we need to learn French then?" A student asks out loud.
"Of course not, a good percentage of people speak English there. You will all do fine as long as you study all your material and get better so that there won't be any conversational issues." The handsome teacher smiles wide making several girls melt like popsicles. "Mr Kim!" A girl raises her hand, "Yes?" He asks.
She instantly gets shy and slowly drops her hand, she chuckles lightly out of nervousness. "I-I forgot my question." She touches her cheek. "Oh, it's okay." He shoots her a smile and slowly turns to his PowerPoint. I see the girl smack her forehead and sink down in her seat. I mean, I get that Mr Kim is hot but.. he's just not my type.
Like yeah, I can see why girls would drool over him. He seems to be that guy that was the cute nerd in his school, then had the puberty bus hit him into another dimension.. and now he's a panty stealer. I mean, he's snatching all of them in this class but not mine. Unexpectedly my eyes fall to Jungkook who is in the front row of the class, he has his chin in the palm of his hand.
I feel my breath get relaxed and I slowly leaned forward as I set my chin in my palm as well. He licks his lips and lets out a breath through parted lips which causes strands of hair to fly up then settle down in a perfect messy way. I grinned to myself, he's so damn cute.
He slowly looks away from the PowerPoint, stretching his arms up into the sky and he slowly turns his head in my direction and I quickly look away knowing he wouldn't look at me. I look down at my hands picking at my nails before a head leans against me. "Aren't you excited for Paris?" Jae asks me, "Yes, I'm really excited." I smile at her.
I hope she didn't see me staring at her good looking brother. "Oh, look." She points to the PowerPoint, it explains all the activities we can do when we're there. THERE ARE ANTIQUE STORES! Okay, I need to hold my horses. I smile wide thinking of all the pretty things I can buy, all the pretty jewelry. The rings and earrings along with the necklaces.
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but when my grandmother gave me all her old jewelry that she didn't wear anymore when I was twelve, I've fallen in love with it ever since. It's my favorite kind of jewelry, I like to think of the stories behind the ring or the earrings and sometimes make up my own stories.
Maybe that's where my magical thinking comes from, I try my best not to but why stop myself? Should I think that way about Jungkook? I like him so much, but something holds me back and I don't think Jae would be okay with me dating or even crushing on her brother. Let alone, her twin brother.
I'd just be seen the same as the other girls in this school that want to smell his armpits and lick his nose, but I'm not. I've liked him since his little bean stage, when he was little and used to put grass in my hair and trade boogers with the other boys.
He'd ask me why my face was so red and I'd tell him it was because his smell made me want to barf, and he'd push me on my butt and run away. Deep down, even when I was just a naive girl who thought unicorns were real and the tooth fairy robbed me of my dollar every time she took my tooth because I felt that my tooth was worth so much more.
I knew I'd like Jungkook for a long time. Maybe I'm still in a fantasy, Jungkook may see me as his sister or even just simply his sister's best friend. Most of the time he doesn't even acknowledge me and that's it, typical I guess. I bite my lip not even noticing I'm staring at him again.
Well damn it, I don't even have to think or want to look at him, my body does it automatically. Well shave my skin off with a spoon, I really don't know what to do. What if Jae catches me? What if she knows? Am I obvious though?
"Then we must be back at the hotel at 8pm, Central European time zone of course. Then you may stay up but stay in your room for the rest of the night. The first and last day we are there we will head up the Eiffel tower then that will conclude our trip. There are several fliers here in the front, take one of each if you'd like, and that concludes the presentation."
Mr Kim ends the PowerPoint. "Now everyone please take out your textbooks and open up to page 95." I let out a breath and take out my textbook.
**
"We can plan out for the trip in a couple days before? Like next week, how's that?" Jae asks me, "Oh! Yes, that seems like a good idea." I agree with her as I take my math book from my locker for tonight's assignment. "Okay, and I'll write it in a cute notebook and color coordinate with different colored pens matte and glittery." Jae goes off as she closes her locker.
"As always you're so organized and aesthetically pleasing." She smiles. "Oh, I don't think so." She waits for me to stop rubbishing through my messy locker. "You ought to let me organize your locker." She suggests. "Okay, I've told you several times.. even if you organize it, it's going to get messy again so there's really no point. Thanks though." She chuckles, opposites attract.
"Is it because you're a Virgo? That's why you're so organized and bossy?" She gasps. "Of course not." I close my locker and raise an eyebrow at her. "I don't believe in that stuff... obviously." She leans against the other lockers. "Then why are you always drawing the Virgo sign and the Libra sign together? With little hearts and everything."
She gasps and covers her mouth as her pretty white skin turns really dark red. "I do not!" She knows she's been caught. "You're not getting over him any time soon." We start to walk down the hall towards the exit of the school. "What? I didn't know he was a Libra, pfffft.", "You're really not convincing, I know that you know his birthday like the back of your hand."
She slouches and brings her textbooks higher on her chest. "I can't help it." She whispers. "It's okay, if you like him then that's okay too." I tell her. "I like him lots and lots, Yuna, you don't understand." Oh, but I do. "I know, but it's okay." I smile. She pulls her shoulder length black hair behind her ear. Her nose is much like Jungkook's just a lot more feminine and much smaller.
They definitely have the same smile and eyes, she has gigantic eyes with pretty lashes, just like him. Their eyebrows are the same too just that hers are just a little thinner than his and shaped. Her lips are a little bit thinner and pinker than Jungkook's, she's my height. I'm 5'6 and Jungkook is 5'10. Her body is practically perfect, her chest is a perfect 'in between' size.
Not too big of a cup size but also not too small. Her torso is naturally defined and her legs are long with a perfect amount of thickness. Her hair is straight and soft, she has side bangs but parted in the opposite direction as Jungkook. Mostly because she said she didn't want to have the same hair part as him.
The only thing that may make them a little different is that Jae's cheeks are always naturally pink. Kind of like she's always blushing, but when she blushes her whole face gets red. The thing I find funny is that girls will ask her what shade blush she's wearing and she'll tell them she's not wearing anything, they'd look at her like she's lying and walk away with mad glares.
But, Jae is really pretty. They got some good genes. I'm confident enough to say that I'm pretty but I'm not as pretty as Jae. My hair is brown, dark brown but a lot of people say it looks black. In the sun you can tell it's brown. My hair is in the middle of straight and wavy, the length is to the middle of my back.
I don't have side bangs like Jae but I have bangs that grew out and now frame my face. I always have my hair up in a ponytail and I let those hairs free. My nose is fairly thinner than Jae's nose, and it points up at the tip. Many say I have fairly small nostrils. I'm a bit lighter than Jungkook and Jae, and my eyes are just a little smaller than theirs.
My eyes are a bit rounder than theirs though, many tell me I don't look very Korean but I'm full Korean. But when I smile, my eyes are the tiniest they can be, my eyes basically disappear. I have a pretty big smile and my cheeks puff up when I do so. Before school I do like to apply a small amount of blush to my cheeks so it looks natural.
My lips are fairly medium sized, not like Jungkook and Jae where they have full lips. I'd say my top lip is a little thinner than my bottom, but they're not that thin. Just when I smile my lips stretch so much, my lips are a nice color I personally think..they have a bit of a coral natural tint to them. Now for my body, I can honestly say that I have a typical Korean girl body.
Skinny, small boobs and a little bump for a booty. As Jae has soft features like her jaw not being too defined but it's there, my jaw is rather rough. While Jae and Jungkook have a rounded chin, mine is fairly pointed. Lastly, the eyebrows. They're honestly not that special, they're pretty basic Korean girl eyebrows and that's about it.
Just me, Son Yuna, a basic girl that has a hard core crush on my best friend's twin brother. I am good in all my classes, I like ladybugs and blueberry syrup on my oatmeal. I'm not corky nor am I funny or cute, I disapprove of aegyo. I wish my husband was all of Seventeen and I'm terribly afraid of thunder that I'll have a mental break down.
I don't have many phobias but the ones I have are quite severe that I get anxiety attacks. I like vanilla and chocolate cake but I hate red velvet.. nothing against the group, they are queens.
I have a cat named Kevin and he has a little orange spot on his eye while his whole body is white. His eyes are light green but are sometimes yellow and he ate my hamster. I am sadly the only child and my mother is a grade school teacher while my father is a professor at the university.
I don't really know what I want to do with my life but I'm thinking with something like teaching as well, but with kids. I like kids but as long as I can give them back. Apparently, according to Jae I'm a good cook but I like to make sweets.
I sometimes doodle comics in my journal of kids at school in chibi style and also can't forget about Jungkook and I dating, I'm so sad and depressing having an imagination that we'd ever happen.
I like poetry and read a lot of books, not much of a drama enthusiast but I appreciate them. American films interest me and I hope to try macaroni and cheese one day, but I'm also lactose intolerant so.. that's why I haven't had it. I also love slime ASMR. Not to forget that I'm eighteen and my birthday is December 22nd. I am a Capricorn..
"We have to wait for my brother." My stomach sinks. "Okay." We wait at the corner of the block. It's strange that I always look forward to this part of the day but I also get so terrified because Jungkook is full of surprises.
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