Chapter Forty Two: That Should've Been Me.
.•.•Parker's POV•.•.
You know, when I was younger, I'd never would've guessed I'd be in this position.
I was a young normal boy with breathing parents who weren't six feet under and a semi-functional family with an older brother who hated me not too long ago. Five years ago that was my life.
Lucas and I never really got along when we were younger, however that all changed when our parents didn't come home one day from work. When Lucas was contacted by the police an hour after they were supposed to be home, they told him that they were killed in a car crash on their way home.
That moment changed both Lucas's and I's lives. After the incident, Lucas and I's relationship shifted and we were civil with one another. We had each other's backs when we needed, and boy did we need each other.
Before I met Grayson, I never had any friends. I was terrified of what people thought of me especially with the news of what had occurred to my parents floating around the town.
It wasn't until I met Grayson when I was finally lifted from my awkward shell. He knew of my financial situation and he had asked his father if he could help out Luke and I with our problem. I was surprised to say the least when Harrison had said yes to his son. Maybe it was because he was still distraught from Grayson's mother's passing, or maybe it was because he hadn't heard his son right, but whatever it was that Grayson had done, Harrison willingly allowed his 13 year old son help out a near stranger of a friend with their financial problems.
Since then, Lucas and I got out of the rut we were in and now can pay for our own stuff. Lucas, with his paid internship, has helped provide us a life. I wanted to work too, but no matter what I did, Lucas wouldn't allow me to get one. He had never showed any sort of brotherly affection towards me before and him staying home to take care of me was a whole new level of us being sibling.
I believed for the longest time that my life would go back to normal when Bailey had come into it. I thought that with someone outside of everything that's happened, I'd have a glimpse of a normal life. But her coming into all of this was a huge mistake. She's already done as much as stay with all of us even after Grayson's father had killed the only father figure in her life and taken away the one of the only true family she's ever had.
I never knew exactly why she decided to stay, but I could only ponder on the thought. She could have left her life behind and start a new page. Bailey has the money to go anywhere she's ever wanted, yet she decided to stay with a drug dealers stubborn son, a boy who even therapists can't fix, and an orphan who has lost more than he can give.
I never understood the girl who I now call Teddy because of the my drug induced experience I had with her. She's different from most people, especially considering the way she makes decisions on her life. It's... unique one might say when one looks at the choices Bailey had made in the passed couple of months. Bailey's a smart girl, but sometimes she could be so oblivious to her surroundings. Several times she was taken away from us, and in those several times we didn't know when or if we were going to see her again, breathing and alive.
This time, however I knew for sure, she's going to be safe. She has to be. She needs to be. I had even gone as far as threatening her brother to make sure she was safe when I was gone. Bailey deserved more than this. She's been through so much and I can't let her get killed. Not now.
I guess you can say I had grown attached to the naive girl that Grayson had introduced us to.
As I was about to walk into one of the many elevators to get to Harrison's office, I heard Bennett's voice calling my name. I turned around with scrunched eyebrows as I met the infuriated face of his. He looked like a modern day Hogwarts student wannabe, with his scarf and all.
My observation however was cut short when in one swift motion, I was tugged back to meet the eyes of Bennett staring down at me, "We're going for a little walk, Parker." He said as he forcefully pulled me out of the building by the hood of my jacket. Although I was tripping over my feet as he kept a firm hold on my hood, I made sure I was on my feet majority of the time he was pulling on me. Once we were fully out of the building, he pulled me to the closest wall of the building and threw me against it, earning curious side glances from witnesses to the scene.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Bennett hissed as he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pressing me firmly on the wall behind me. His eyes drilled holes into my head as I stayed silent, staring him in the eye. I was used to his glare. He'd always scold me for stupid things I did. This moment was no different from the others.
"You can't just do things like this." He reprimands, causing me to unconsciously roll my eyes, "You're going to-"
"Die?" I finished his sentence, watching him flinch at the word that rolled off my tongue with venom laced within, "Yeah I know. I was going to die from the beginning. I knew this since Thanksgiving and you knew this, too, Bennett. So why can't I just do this now?"
My words not only make Bennett flinch, but also break down the walls he'd built so strongly over the years. A flash of hurt went through his eyes before they were hidden behind his closed eyelids, the only things that can protect his most inner feelings. I guess that's what happens when you meet a girl that allows you to have your guard down for so long you no longer know how to keep it up anymore. I knew his walls were growing weak over the past few months, especially when he began to smile real smiles and laugh real laughs. Bailey brought out the best in us, but I can't say if it was a good or bad thing.
"Parker Lynn I swear to god you're so fucking stupid. I don't know what's gotten into you, but whatever it is you better-"
"Bennett, I am going to die." I repeated, silencing Bennett from continuing his sentence. He looked at me with a confused stare. I could tell he couldn't make sense of my words and why I was saying this now and when he made no hints that he was going to say anything further, I continued, "I want this to be over now. I don't want to do this anymore."
I firmly grabbed his shoulder, causing him to meet my gaze. I take a deep breathe before saying, "I just want everything to end."
Bennett continued to stare at me, searching my eyes for any emotion that showed him I was just saying this for the sake of saying something, but I knew there was none. Everything I said had been thoughts in my head and now they were things expressed aloud. I've wanted to do this for a while now. I need to do this.
For him.
For Grayson.
For everyone.
For Bailey especially.
He brushes off the hand I had placed on his shoulder, "If you're going to do this now, at least wait for Grayson. We'll carry out this plan together." He sounded weak. He sounded as if he wasn't there when he said those words. He sounded dead, but nonetheless he said them. I looked at him with shock for a moment. I never knew he'd actually allow me to do this. Bennett fucking Walters is allowing me to do something I want for second time today...
I have no idea if that's a good or a bad thing.
*
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Bailey wasn't supposed to be here. Bailey's supposed to be safe. She's supposed to be at Bennett's house, but no.
Instead, she stood right in front of me with Carson at her side, turning her in.
I look at Bailey silently questioning how the fuck could she be so stupid, however that thought soon left my mind when I felt a pang of pain on my side. Standing in the middle of the room, I clutch the side where my lesion was trying to ease the pain from continuing. The tension that my body was causing me was evident to anyone who looked at me. Although the pain was slowly coming back to me, I kept my focus on Bailey's figure.
"Teddy." I whispered, wanting to believe she wasn't really here when in reality, she was right there in front of me. My quiet call to her didn't seem to reach her however, either that or she just didn't want to look at me. I just needed her assurance that this wasn't just some stupid illusion. I needed to know if this was real or not.
Harrison began to speak, but I couldn't hear a thing he was saying. My train of thought went out the window and I couldn't think straight with both the pain eating me away and the constant thought of Bailey being here.
"...Good job, Korbin." Carson's last name snapped me out of my daze, causing my gaze to immediately turn in the direction of Carson's figure.
"No problem sir." Carson said, his voice sounding robotic and his words sounding rehearsed. I glared at Carson, wanting to see what he's playing at. Written on his face is a thousand unsaid words, guilt and regret gathered up at his eyes as he stared at Max.
What?
It wasn't until Carson stepped back did I realize something was off.
I looked at Bailey with a raised eyebrow, questioning her silently on what was going on only to see she was already looking at me. She was mouthing something I couldn't understand. I furrowed my eyebrows in further confusion. It wasn't until I heard Harrison let out a throaty chuckle did my attention get pulled away from Bailey. I watched as he slowly walked backwards towards his desk with an irritated smile etched upon his face, "You like slipping away don't you Winters?" Harrison asked as he turned his back towards Bailey and Carson.
"Well depends." Bailey answered, her voice sounding as if she's forcing all the confidence she could muster into her words, "I have good friends to help me with that."
"I see." Harrison says as he picked up a gun from on of his drawer. Bailey let out an audible intake of breath when Harrison revealed it the item. I stared at it with shocked eyes as I watched him come around his desk.
Harrison was admiring the gun in his hand and it scares the shit out of me when he points it straight at Bailey. My heart drops at the sight and I take a small step forward, catching his attention for only a second before his eyes went back onto Bailey with a sickening smirk on his face. I could hear the sound of Bailey's breathing picking up.
Not thinking straight, I spoke up, "Mr. Harrison please." I whimpered, weakly, "You can't." I pleaded, however my pleas only made him even more mad. My words only seemed to make him snap instead of sympathize. He looked at me with a twisted, wide smile that looked as if something inside of him broke as he tilted his head acting confused. I have seen Harrison mad a handful of times in my life, and this does not compare to anything I've seen him do, especially since all of the times I've seen him angry didn't involve a gun in his hands.
"What makes you think I'm going to shoot her?" Harrison said, which made me feel relieved that Bailey wasn't the one to pass today. However, nonetheless, I froze as I stared at the gun nozzle pointing at me. My eyes widened and time slowed as I realized the predicament I was in.
I'm going to die today.
I repeated that in my head for the passed days leading up to this one.
I prepared myself for this very moment. I engraved into my head that today was going to be the day I was going to die, however now that Bailey was here, I couldn't help but feel regret fill my stomach. Not because I regret this choice, but because I couldn't bare thinking this was the last time she was ever going to see me like this, weak and helpless. It was too late now to do anything.
I was standing a few feet away from death and I can't shield Bailey from this.
I can't protect her like I did. I can't take back my decision.
I was already in too deep.
Averting my gaze from the gun, I look at the gun wielded man's eyes.
I wanted him to see the life drain from my eyes.
I wanted him to see what he himself has chosen to do, but most of all...
I wanted him to see all the unnecessary pain that he's inflicting on me as he shoots me dead.
Closing my eyes, my whole body tensed up as I waited for the pain to come.
Bang.
Hearing the noise, the pain I was anticipating didn't come. It wasn't until I realized I was falling away from where I stood. I stayed on the floor silent and shocked. My eyes widened as I realized what had just happened. I didn't want to look behind me because I knew if I did, I'd see the sight I never wanted to see.
I looked back to see the body that looked almost limp and lifeless.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
There were so many things going through my head.
No one else was supposed to die.
I couldn't think straight.
I failed.
But the one thing that rang through my head the most was that-
That should've been me.
*•*•*•*
(A/N)
First things first, I'd like to apologize.
I'm so sorry for leaving all of you hanging.
I left with no warning that I was going to be gone and that's my bad.
I wanted to take a break because literally everything has become to much. I'm overwhelmed by what life has given me and I can't just cope with it naturally. I needed time off and I still do.
I'm trying to straighten things out right now and I really hope those of you that have stayed understand that I'm trying my best to get out of this hole I'm in and that I need time to do so.
I'm so sorry again for making you guys wait for this filler chapter and that the next chapter won't be coming until probably Thanksgiving.
Thank you to the ones who've stayed, to the ones who understand and the ones that support this book even after the months of absence on my part.
Love you guys.
<3