(Beam)
"P'Beam," calls the woman who's sitting on the bed to get my attention from aimlessly wandering of my eyes to the state-of-the-art clinic of the campus.
I boringly glance at her sideways. She's a pale woman with big doll eyes, slightly pointed nose, and full lips. Her small face is framed by her shoulder-length hair; nevertheless I could recall her so well.
She might have cut her hair short, but she's the same woman back at that dreary pub where our moon friends thought I had tried to flirt with though she's obviously into Forth. Also, based from the injury she has, she's the woman riding on Forth's bike yesterday whose hands slithered like a snake around Forth's body, the same way those hands touched him when he helped her get to one of the bleachers a while ago (I guess, she really has the blood of a snake).
That woman... she's the reason why I had an uneven cheeks back then. She's also the reason why I am acting like a fool when she's with Forth, yet I have no idea what comes into my fuck up mind for choosing to bring her to the clinic on my own once I noticed that her injured foot is starting to swell.
I should have just let it. It's her fault anyway. I saw her intentionally stepped that foot on the floor, and I don't know what her aim goal for doing it.
"What?" I nonchalantly ask.
"Thank you for taking me here," she says in a sweet tone which I almost roll my eyes.
I remember how the other members of hazing team have reacted when I implicitly insulted her a while ago. It's like she's their angel that must be protected from evil creatures like me.
However, I could see through her.
I've been with different women with different personality before. I know who are showing their true selves and who are hiding behind their façades. Who have a genuine intention, and have a secret agenda. Though I love flirting with women back then, I usually avoid the latter kind of woman for they are the dangerous one. You will never predict when they will attack.
And the woman I am with right now is a perfect example of them.
I move my chair to turn at her direction so that we are facing each other. She smiles sweetly that if other men could see it, they would probably lay a red carpet on her feet in a blink of an eye. She's beautiful, no one can deny it. She does look like an angel...
... with a big horn instead of a halo
(I am wondering whether I really tried to flirt with her)
"Cut the crap, missy. I know you didn't want me to take you here..."
I noticed her recoil as I told them to bring her here by myself. It's only for a split second, yet it's enough to see the disappointment on her fucking pretty face.
"...Tell me, honestly. You have someone else in your mind to take you here, haven't you?" I ask calmly though my blood is boiling at the probability she has the same person in mind as mine.
Was it her agenda for hurting herself?
"What are you saying, P? I don't know what you're talking about," she replies, still smiling.
My brow jerks up.
"Acting like a dumb, huh? It doesn't suit you, honey." I look around. We're alone. The nurse must have thought we're fine on ourselves to leave us. "No one's here except for the two of us, so you can now drop your mask. You must be feeling tired wearing it all day."
Her eyes wander as if to check whether I'm telling the truth. Once she realizes that we're really alone, her angelic smile is gone in an instant as her eyes return to me with a clear hatred.
"Not really. I'm not tired at all, especially when everyone adores me because I am their loving princess. They're willing to be my knights in shining armors...except for one who I only want to be my prince." Her eyes are the exact semblance of sharp tools, ready to cut its opponent. "Why do you always ruin my plan with P'Forth. I even sacrifice myself just to be with him, and not you."
Just like what I've thought.
"He's neither your knight in shining armor nor prince to take care of you. He will never be, so get over that. You're not in some kind of disney movies," I say in mocking tone.
Of course, the likes of her wouldn't yield right away.
"It's because of a faggot like you. What kind of bewitching have you done with P'Forth for falling for you like crazy? Have you given him a mind-blowing fellatio that's why he couldn't get over you?"
I look at my nails, checking if it has been covered by blood of a bitch before.
Never... Not yet.
I have a golden rule of taking care of all women in this world. To treat them like a precious gem. However, there is always an exception to the rule and the woman in front of me is the exception.
I hate the words coming out from that filthy mouth of her.
Faggot? Fellatio?
F.u.c.k.i.t.
I haven't even seen Forth without a shirt, what more below that belt? (Not that I want to see it -_-")
My hands are itching to pull her fucking tongue out and give it to the dogs, so she could no longer pester other people. But I bet the dogs wouldn't even like the taste of it, and throw it up somewhere.
I quietly take a breath in, then exhale. I match her glare with an apathetic stare. I will never lose my composure with this freaking woman.
"I don't need to use a fucking magic or become a whore to make anyone fall for me, even Forth. My presence is enough to entice everyone (Please don't react. It's true, anyway). That must be what you've done to turn a whore-snake like you into a woman."
I do believe she is a whore-snake. Women are lovely, but her.
Her face is starting to get the color of a ripe tomato as she clenches tightly her hands on her lap. Beam Baramee will never lose to a bitch like her.
"Damn yo-"
"See? A woman doesn't cuss," I cut in. "It only proves that you're not."
I stand up and lazily stretch my body. If I would stay longer with this creature, I might have totally forgotten that she's one of Eve's daughters, and soiled my beautiful hands. I'm just wasting my precious time on her.
"Hey, whore-snake. Don't try to make it worst for your feet again. You will need to break all the bones in your body before Forth can notice you," I say, then turn to the door.
However, as I am about to leave, she has spoken that has stopped me from my tracks.
"Yeah right. I'm a snake... A viper whose venom will destroy you. You might have P'Forth's affection right now, but for how long? Time will come he'll realize you're not enough for him. Not enough to neither stand tall in this society nor build a family. You're just a big obstruction to a brighter future that awaits him. He deserves someone better than you," she spits.
...
It took me seconds before I look back at her with still complete indifference...
"And you think you're better than me? Keep on dreaming, honey, because I have no care to whatever you uttered. You can never steal Forth from me. Not now or in your afterlife." Then I walk away.
...Though I said that I don't care, deep inside my heart, she has hit a bulls eye.
Not of what the others might be saying (I could shut them all up)...
...but of the things I do not have, and couldn't give.
Forth said he loves me... I accepted his feelings without asking why me.
However, until when?
Until when his love will last if we were both in a situation where the things we lack are too evident? Will he stay with me when I could no longer provide what he will desire in the future?
Sometimes, the idea of being in love is sweet and romantic.
Nevertheless, once reality strikes down, sweetness turns to bitterness; romance turns to angst.
It's one of the things I have been avoiding, that's why I preferred short-term, no string attached relationship...
Not until he rattles my world.
I quicken my pace to arrive immediately at the gym where I left Kit, and where the hazing activity of these engineers held. I feel the urge to leave the city and go somewhere far... far from everything, though I know I couldn't escape it. I just want to be in a place where I can clear up my mind. However, I didn't bring my car, so I have to look for Kit so we can go home. Pha didn't come with us since he has an appointment with his cute Yo.
Speaking of which, has he ever thought of what I have been thinking, too? Has it ever crossed his mind? That's why he was hesitant of pursuing Yo before? But, they seem to be happy together.
No, they are happy to be together.
While, I'm just fucked up.
Once I've reached the place, the hazing team are already packing up their things while the freshmen are leaving. They are done with today's activity which also their last before the flag capturing event. The event we couldn't attend since it's the day our exam starts. After that, this coming weekend, they will be off to beach for their annual outing-celebration if their freshmen would be able to get their flag. It's strictly for engineering students, therefore we can't come.
Wait, don't think that I'm planning of coming. I'm just stating the fact.
Anyway, my eyes abruptly scan the crowd for any sign of my short friend. But, I have spotted another thing rather than that Kitty Kitkat.
Forth being crowded by female freshmen. They are giving him different stuffs which I have no idea why.
The hell with what they are doing?!
"P'Forth is surely popular with women, isn't he? I also heard, he's not only popular here, but also in other faculties," someone says. I didn't bother to know who it is.
"Who wouldn't? Aside from the campus moons, he's the epitome of every woman's dream guy. It's a pity he's not interested with them. If I only have that face and body, I'll be prancing around the campus, taking all the women I like!"
"Unfortunately, you're not even handsome as his feet. *laugh. He's chasing after one of the crazy doctors, right? He doesn't look like a gay at all. Sucking dick doesn't seem like his preference."
Another rubbish conversation -_-"
I turn to face whoever are talking before they could think of another rubbish idea. And they are surprised to discover that I was just in front of them.
"Choosing to be with a person with the same gender as you isn't about being gay... It's called love. Get that through your rotten brains, Kiddos."
I didn't wait for their replies, I just walk straight to that crowd. I am starting to get annoyed with my surroundings. That whore-snake, those kiddos, and those crazy female fans who wouldn't stop bothering Forth just because he's too fucking gentleman to push them away!
That stupid face of him is truly something, huh?
Now that I'm closing in, I could hear some of what they are saying.
"P, I baked these cookies for you. I hope you will like it." Cookies? He doesn't like sweet things.
"P'Forth, my mother knitted this scarf. Red looks good to you." Scarf? It's fucking summer! And dark blue suits him better not red!
"After the flag capturing event, there's a movie I want to watch. I already got the ticket, it's for the two of us." The cinema will be closed on that day.
And there are so much blah, blah, blah, where Forth could only awkwardly smile at them. Don't smile, stupid! They will only want to be closer with you!
Using my both hands, I clear my pathway through those girls, then grab the hand of this idiot man and pull him away from them. They become speechless as I drag their head hazer along with me.
Yes, I am kinda scared of what the future will bring and of the uncertainty I am venturing...
... But I couldn't bear to see this man I am holding right now to be with other person.
When did I have that kind of feeling? I don't know. After all, It's a whirlwind emotion when it comes with him.
But, it seems like there's something I have forgotten...
I halt at their faculty's parking lot as I realize what I have done.
I left Kit. Kitty Kitkat!
And I fucking have no car to go home.
Suddenly, Forth gently tugs his hand only to be grasped by him. I am bit startled from what he did that made me turn quickly and be greeted by that rare tender smile of him.
Who's better with whom again?
I don't want to brag, but Only I can make him smile like that.
"I thought you're mad," he mutters. "I can't bear to see you mad again."
He mildly squeezes my hand as if to assure me while his sharp eyes lovingly caress my face, making my heart somersault...
Fuck all those reasons and uncertainties! Fuck all the people who will be seeing us right now as I grab the collar of his shirt, and pull him towards me to meet my waiting lips.
I just want to be with this person.
*****
A/N
Please do tell me, if there are some mistakes. Thank you! 😅😅
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