The train slowly pulls up to the station and Tommy and I, with the rest of our mates, huddle around the windows. It's really a sight to see because there are men and women waving and holding food and bottles of beer, but more importantly, they're smiling.
It's gotta be a mistake.
"They do know we didn't win, don't they?" I ask, keeping my gaze on the large crowd.
"Maybe they're just happy we made it home," Tommy suggests and I roll my eyes.
"Not all of us," I mumble, seeing the faces of our mates we left behind flash before my eyes. "I highly doubt their families will be celebrating."
A loud screeching pierces my ears and my body moves into the seat as the train comes to a complete stop. While everyone else is rushing to get off, I'm dreading it. Even though Tommy has invited me to stay at his place, I'm not holding my breath because the final say will come from his mum.
She'll probably be scared of me. Oh shit, Tommy said he has a little sister. She'll probably be some obnoxious lassie with pigtails who runs around everywhere. But at least it's a place to stay.
"C'mon, mate," Tommy pats my shoulder and I grab my blanket from the seat before following him off the train. Besides the uniform I'm wearing and the boots on my feet, it's the only thing I have to my name.
Tommy periodically looks back at me as he leads the way through the crowd and I can't help but wonder if he thinks I'll take off or if he's just silently reassuring me that he knows where he's going.
"Good on ya, lads," a man greets us, handing me two opened bottles of beer and apples and he pats my shoulder.
I nod to thank him and nudge Tommy's arm to get his attention. He looks back and I hold up one of the bottles and apples for him. He thanks me and we both take a drink, seemingly celebrating together amongst the crowd.
"Home is about a half an hour walk that way," Tommy points toward a sign that has big white letters on it and I nod. "Do you think you can make it?"
"Do you think I can't?"
"I know you can, Alex. I was just letting you know how far it is."
I nod because I believe him and he takes a drink of his beer, so I join in with him and our attention is diverted to an Army personnel announcing something. He's standing by a barrel, making sure that the soldiers surrender their guns and canteens before they leave.
"I left mine on the beach," Tommy shrugs a shoulder and takes a bite of his apple.
"Me too. The only thing I have is this blanket and if that old bloke hadn't given this to me, I'd have given him an earful."
"What are you talking about? You'd tell him off for what?"
"He was so ashamed that he couldn't even look me in the eyes."
"Oh for God's sake. Are you that daft?" Tommy laughs and it's all I can do not to give him a knuckle sandwich. "He didn't look at you because he was blind."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, he didn't look at me either and he felt all around my face like he was trying to see me with his hand. It's like he wanted to know who fought for his country."
As his words sink into my brain, I feel both guilt and relief; guilt because I thought ill of a bloke who more than likely served in the military back in his younger days and relief because the first person who welcomed me home wasn't ashamed of me.
Tommy and I continue down the sidewalk, eating our apples and drinking our beer while I check out my surroundings. This town has a cozy feel with shops that have nice window displays and I realize this could be home for a while, if Tommy's mum approves of my stay.
"That place has the best ice cream milkshakes in the world," Tommy says and I look to my left where he's pointing. "I'd buy us a couple dozen right now if I had some money."
"I didn't ask you to buy me a milkshake, plus I'm quite happy with my apple," I state, trying to hold onto whatever pride I have left and I take the last bite of my apple. "I don't accept charity."
"Okay, then think of it as a gift, not a handout," he says and I can somewhat see his point. "When I was younger, I'd take my little sister there on Sunday afternoons and we'd share a banana split," he says with a fond smile that I can't relate to. "Maybe we can go there tomorrow."
"Like you, I don't have any money," I say, walking over to the receptacle and I throw away the stem and seeds of the apple I've devoured and Tommy copies me. Downing the last swig of my beer, I remind myself to be nice because even though he's getting on my nerves, he's my only hope.
Hell, he's my only friend, too. Damn.
"Not much longer now, it's just down this street a few blocks," Tommy says and I nod before we continue on our way.
The passers by don't seem to be happy about our return, but I won't let their snubs bother me. We're not in the most presentable shape, considering we're covered in oil, dirt and sweat, but at least we're alive.
"I wonder if I'll even recognize the house," Tommy chuckles and it takes me a second to realize he's joking. "I know my memory's shit, but I'd never forget what my home looks like."
I still remember what my home looked like and I don't want to.
The rest of the time goes by with me dodging Tommy's annoying questions because it's like he wants to get to know me better for some strange reason. I oblige him with vague answers, not wanting to give him too much information about myself and my past.
It seems ridiculous since we've seen each other in the buff during our mandatory physicals, yet the last time I trusted someone on a personal level, they abandoned me.
I've learned to look out for myself first; not in a selfish way, but just because no one else will.
"So what happened that your folks kicked you out of the house?" Tommy asks out of the blue and I finally snap at him.
"What about you, Tom, huh? Where'd you go to school? What was your favourite subject? What's your favourite food? What's-"
"It's Tommy, not Tom," he corrects me and for the first time, I can sense he's not a pushover like I thought. I apologize and his stern countenance softens as we continue walking. "Now, in answer to your questions, I graduated from Birmingham Preparatory School for Boys, I loved Science but was absolute shit at it, and my favourite food is my mum's meatloaf and mash. Anything else you'd like to know? Not that you were really interested in the first place."
The air is thick with silence between us for a few seconds and I realize that I've been somewhat of an arse to him.
"Listen, Tommy, I'm sorry, alright? I guess I'm just, I dunno," I pause to try and think of the words to say, but I can't.
I'm at a loss for words.
"It's okay, Alex. We've been through a lot. Maybe a home-cooked meal and a good night's sleep will help."
"Wouldn't hurt," I smirk and we both laugh.
"Hey, we're here. It's been so long, I almost forgot what the house looked like," he chuckles. "Well, this is home."
His reaction to the blue two-story house is something special and I'm actually happy for the lad.
"Those are my mum's flowers," he proudly says, pointing to the hanging potted plants from the porch. "She loves to garden. She grows most of our vegetables, too."
I nod in response because I don't have anything to add about gardening and we walk up to the door. Tommy tries the doorknob and it's unlocked, so he opens the door and steps inside, motioning for me to follow.
"C'mon, she's probably in the backyard."
"Maybe I should wait out here."
"Oh, don't worry about it, just wipe your feet first," he smiles and I cough to cover my laugh while we stomp the mud from our boots. "Mum? Mum, I'm home!"
As I follow Tommy through the living room to the kitchen, I look around and it's the homiest home I've ever seen. Framed pictures are proudly on display on every shelf and table they have and I can smell the aroma of food cooking and it's now that I realize how hungry I am.
"I was right; she's out there in the garden," Tommy says and I give him a smile that doesn't quite match his, but it's a smile nonetheless. "C'mon, let's go surprise her."
"N-no, you go. That's private."
"Party pooper," he teases and walks out the back door, neglecting to shut the door behind him.
I quietly watch from the kitchen as Tommy walks up behind his mum and he says something to get her attention. Her scream is one of surprise and her expression is one of pure happiness. As they embrace each other in a hug, I turn away to give them privacy and I do my best to hold back my tears.
Not even before my parents kicked me out, did they ever show such affection toward me. Yet, I still have this pathetic need to win their approval.
I hear Tommy's mum shout a 'no' and I cautiously step into view, wondering if he's already asked her about my staying here. She looks over at me and I can feel the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It can only mean one thing, so I start mentally preparing myself to leave.
It'll be okay, Alex. Well shit. I don't want to sleep on the streets again.
Their voices sound closer, indicating that they're walking up to the house and I'm frozen in my place.
"Good, you're still here," Tommy nervously smiles at me, placing his hand on his mum's shoulder. "Mum, this is Private Alex Rutherford, my best mate. He saved my life. Alex...this is Mrs. May Hughes."
"A pleasure, Mrs. Hughes," I greet her and wipe my hand on my dirty trousers before extending my hand. "S'rry. I'm not quite presentable."
"N-no, I understand," she says and surprisingly accepts my handshake. "How about you boys go wash up and I'll fix a plate for you."
She timidly smiles at me before walking over to the stove and I look to Tommy for some reason.
"C'mon, Alex, I'll show you where the loo is and where you'll be staying."
Tommy's words don't register in my brain right away and I'm honestly afraid to ask him to repeat himself, just in case he said it by mistake.
I jog a few steps to catch up to him and I nervously clear my throat.
"So, you mentioned something about where I'll be staying?"
"Yeah, Mum said it's okay. I told you she would. Do you still want to stay here until you find something permanent?"
"Y-yeah, I do, I just can't believe it."
"Well, you better believe it."***
A/N: Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy bday! It was a great day and I wanted to celebrate it with ya'll by updating After Dunkirk.
Oh, and my mom made me a Harry puzzle. I freaking cried. Here it is:
Much Love.
❤️❤️❤️❤️