Day 1
I watched the clouds roll by outside the window as we soared through the sky.
We were on our way to Miami after I begged Jonas to give me some time off. He put his foot down and said I couldn't and, for a second, I thought about just wishing for his permission. But then again, I didn't even have wishes because the reason I wanted to go home was because of my requirement. Luckily, Phantasm was there and helped me with him.
"Can you really last three days without wishes?"
Phantasm had a look of challenge in her eyes and I just laughed it away. When she told me to say goodbye to the people I've met, I knew I shouldn't rush it. That's why I decided to separate my goodbyes into three days.
This day was to say goodbye to the people closest to me.
"I lived twenty years without wishes. I think three days is going to be fine."
"What're you going to tell them though?"
That was actually a good question. I couldn't say goodbye outright, of course. That would open up questions I wasn't ready for. "I don't know," I said, honestly. "I just know that when I'm there, I'll know what to say."
All night, I've tried to write the words I'm going to say but my pen wasn't moving. My mind was blank and cluttered at the same time. That's when I gave up and decided that speaking from the heart was better than speaking from paper.
"They won't remember you."
I turned to her and saw the blank look on Phantasm's face. "What?"
She looked around before giving me a sad smile. "That's how undoing wishes work. Everyone you've met in this life? They'll forget about you."
"E—everyone?" I stuttered.
She nodded and sighed. "You'll go back to that night you came back from work. It would be like you never met me."
It would be like I never lived this life. I would never meet Fifth Harmony, Shawn, or Macy. We would lead different lives without knowing that we once shared laughter and tears together. And that's when a sudden thought came to my mind—a thought that made my lips shake.
I grabbed Phantasm's hands in mine and looked into her eyes. "I—if I'm going back... does that mean..."
My lips couldn't form the next words. I was afraid that I was hoping for something that wouldn't happen. Hesitation made me nervous and yet I anticipated the answer as I realized Phantasm knew what I wanted to ask.
She smiled and nodded. "You'll see your sister again."
My heart swelled and I couldn't stop the tears falling from my eyes. Sam would live again, the rules wouldn't matter anymore. I would get to hold her again and protect her. I even began asking myself why I didn't make this wish sooner.
But then Phantasm answered that unasked question too.
"But as you said, every dream comes with a price. And the price of seeing your sister again, is letting go of someone else."
-//-//-//-//-//-
"Why'd you visit all of a sudden? Is something wrong?" asked Macy as she opened the door for us. Phantasm and Jackson followed me inside the house.
"No, I just wanted to see how things were going here."
Macy nodded. "Well alright, she's in the living room. I'll leave you guys to catch up."
"Macy, wait," I said, grabbing her arm to stop her. I looked at Phantasm and nodded. She smiled and walked up the stairs, leaving only the three of us. "Jackson, can you watch over my mom?"
"Alright," he said, moving to the living room.
"Is everything okay?" Macy asked once we were alone.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you and... thank you."
"Uh... for what?"
"For everything," I said letting go of her arm. "You've done so much for me ever since I met you and I don't know where I'll be without your support."
Macy furrowed her eyebrows and cleared her throat. "I—I appreciate it but are you sure you're okay? "
I nodded and tried to ease her worries. "I'm just really lucky to have met you. You're... my best friend."
Macy looked surprised as she opened her mouth and closed it back again. I knew she was trying to find her words and I let her mull them over since this would be the last time I talked to her. She chuckled and looked amused as she smiled at me.
"Remember how we first met?" Shrugging was the only thing I could do since I had no idea. Luckily, she just rolled her eyes at the action. "I was a waitress at a diner and you bumped into me, making me spill the coffee I was holding on myself. I kept telling you I was okay but you wouldn't let it go until you gave me your number and said if I needed a job, to call you."
"And you called me."
"I thought you were conceited. I thought you were this privileged Hollywood royalty that thinks everyone is beneath them. But when I lost my job at the diner, I felt like I had no choice but to call you. And the rest is history."
I chuckled at her story. "Hopefully you don't think I'm still conceited."
Instead of answering, she moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I relaxed against her touch and hugged her back. "No, you're my best friend. And no matter what happens, I'll always be on your side."
After finishing my goodbyes to Macy, I made my way to the living room but not before thanking Jackson for everything he's done for me too. It was hilarious how he blushed and didn't know what to do about the barrage of compliments I threw at him. He left us after a stuttering thank you.
I took a seat on the sofa across my mom and turned off the TV. She didn't even complain when I did, still looking straight into her reflection in the wide glass.
"Hey, mom," I called out. "I wanted to talk to you about some stuff. That's why I'm here." I cleared my throat when she didn't respond. "I know that deep inside... you blame me for Sam's death. And I don't blame you one bit. If only I've been a better sister, she would still be alive. And I regret not giving her the attention she deserved."
As if by some miracle, my mom moved her gaze from the TV to me. I smiled at the sight and urged myself to continue. "I changed for the worse when I became famous. The family that I always put first became second—last even—in my list of priorities. I know I can't... get Sam back. But before I lose you too, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I love you and from now on, I will always take care of you, mom."
At this point, I didn't care if my mom responded or not. The most important thing was that she knew how sorry I was for forgetting about the people who've supported me all throughout my life. However, my mom had other ideas.
Because she stood up, not breaking eye contact with me, and wrapped her arms around me. My jaw went slack on my face and I felt tears running down my cheeks. I hugged her back and settled my face on her neck. Even more than words, her holding me again as her daughter, was the best thing she could ever do.
She pulled away from me after a while and went back to her seat, staring at the TV. Soon enough, I heard the doorbell and saw Macy walking to the door. I placed a kiss on the top of my mom's head before I slowly made my way to the foyer. I grit my teeth as I came face to face with my father.
"Angel," he called out once he saw me.
I wanted to get angry at him for calling me that name because after all the shit he pulled, I wasn't his angel anymore. But this was not the day to fight with him. This was the day I promised myself I would forgive him.
"I'm going to let you talk to my mom. She might not respond though. She's been like that ever since Sam's death."
"I went to the cemetery," he said, looking down at his feet. "I placed some roses next to her stone. I knew how much she loved them."
I nodded. "Thank you."
"I appreciate you letting me talk to your mom again. But... why now?"
He looked scared, like he was expecting me to throw him out of the house at any second. And he'd be right... if I was the Y/N from before. But I buried that person deep inside my heart already.
"Getting angry means I care. It means that you still mean something to me and that's why I still care about your reasons for leaving. I'm done caring, I'm done getting angry. It's not going to bring you back. And it sure as hell wouldn't bring our family back."
This was my exact thought at the drive from the airport to my house. Even if Phantasm undid all my wishes and I was back to my old life, my father still wouldn't be there. I would still be part of a broken family. And because of that, the only option I have left is to accept that fact and move on.
"This is my closure. Accepting the fact that you're never coming back."
I walked past my father and out the door. Once the door closed behind me, I took a deep breath and smiled as I looked up at the sky. I'll see you soon, Sam. I'll come back to you and we'll be together again.
And when that happens, I'm never going to let you go again.
-//-//-//-//-//-
Day 2
"...and you guys are the reason why I've achieved the things I have right now. None of this would be possible without all of you. Keep following your dreams and hard work will pave the road for you. Always remember that. I love you guys!"
I hit stop on the recording after I waved at the camera and e-mailed the video to Jonas. Not even two minutes after hitting send, he called me on the phone.
"Okay, I got it. I'll send it to your publicist and she'll be the one to post it in your social medias."
"Thanks, Jonas. I appreciate it."
"But why are you suddenly adamant about thanking the fans?" he asked.
I knew there was no need to thank them, I didn't know them on a personal level after all. But after the things that happened with Alex, I felt like I was responsible for them. It wasn't their fault that they idolized an image, not a real person.
"I just want them to know how much I appreciate them," I said with a smile. "They deserve to know that much."
"Well, this is going to be great publicity especially because your album is coming out in days."
"Thank you too, Jonas, for taking care of me."
The other line went silent and I bit my lip from laughing as I imagined his surprise. I heard him clear his throat after a while and the creak of the chair under his weight. "Of—of course, I'm your manager after all."
"My manager and my friend."
He became silent again but he quickly recovered with a grunt. "Yes, well, you better get back here soon or you're in big trouble. I already have your schedule lined up."
"I will. Goodbye, Jonas." As soon as he hung up, I walked through the elevators and pushed the floor where Fifth Harmony was staying at.
This day was to say goodbye to the people I've met in the industry and the friends I've made. This morning, I facetimed Shawn and Alessia, telling them how much I appreciated working with them and that they're so much more talented than they think. Shawn joked around with me, asking if I have a life-threatening disease or something and Alessia just complimented me back.
Now, I needed to say goodbye to the people who made me laugh, made me cry, and all in all, just made every day of this life enjoyable for me.
I already called earlier to tell them I was coming and needed to tell them something so I knew they were all together in one room. After checking the message they sent me one last time about the room number, I made my way over and knocked on the door.
Normani was the one that opened the door and greeted me with a smile. "Y/N!" she exclaimed, hugging me. I laughed and hugged her back.
"Hey, Mani. I missed you."
She finally let me go and the girls all made their way to me. They hugged me one by one and after, I made my way to the couch while they were huddled on the bed. "Did Camila already leave?" I asked.
"Her flight was two hours ago," Dinah said.
Since the girls had a break, I asked Camila if she wanted to go on a date with me back in Acapulco. She said yes immediately and I told her to take an earlier flight out because I had something to take care of before I could join her.
"Is something wrong, Y/N? What did you want to say?" asked Lauren. She was always the most perceptive one out of them all.
"It's nothing major," I assured them. "I just wanted to say how thankful I am that I met you guys. At first, I just knew you guys as that one band my sister liked." I chuckled as I remembered Sam dancing on the car when their song came on. "But I grew to know you as people and that's when I realized that you were different from other artists. They may have huge fanbases or consecutive chart-topping songs but you guys... you have heart. And in this industry of fakes and pretenders, you're a breath of fresh air."
They all looked at each other after what I said. It was Ally that spoke up first. "Y/N, are you okay?"
"Yeah you sound like you're leaving or something," Lauren added. The other two girls nodded in agreement and I just smiled. My heart stung at the thought of leaving them because they became so much more to me in just one year.
I shook my head and diverted my gaze from Lauren's, afraid that she might pick out the lie in my words if she looked hard enough. "No, but I want you guys to know this before it's too late."
"Too late for what?" Normani inquired.
"The same way I was too late with my sister." The room instantly fell quiet. Sam didn't like sad goodbyes so I decided to break the tension. "No matter what happens, I'll always support you all. The same way you've supported me this past year. I am beyond thankful that I met all of you."
"Oh, Y/N," Normani said. "I don't know about these girls but meeting you is something I'll never forget. Your talent, your drive, your love of music, is something that has always inspired me. So when you say you're thankful to have met us, you don't know how thankful I am to have met you."
"She's right, Y/N," agreed Ally as she stood up and sat beside me on the couch. "You're like my little sister, you know? You're annoying but I still love you," she said with a giggle. "No, I'm kidding. You're full of heart just as much as we are and we're lucky to have met you."
She settled her head on my shoulder and I smiled. "Thanks, Ally."
"You make Walz happy and that's enough for me," Dinah said with a grin. "I know the others are saying how you inspired them but even more so than that, you know how to take care of people. That is heart."
"And I know how big that heart is because I fell in love with it," Lauren quipped, smirking. "I don't know why you're being sentimental all of a sudden but I think we can all agree that we wouldn't have gotten where we are now without you. That's why," she added, standing up and sitting on the other side of the couch, "no matter what happens, we'll support you."
Ally and Lauren wrapped their arms around me while Dinah and Normani made their way towards us and engulfed me in one big group hug.
These girls meant so much more to me than I could ever imagine. They became so important to me that I could feel my heart breaking at the thought of leaving them.
So that morning, I held on to each of them a little bit longer—just a little bit tighter.
-//-//-//-//-//-
Day 3
It was about nine in the morning when I arrived at the beach house in Acapulco.
The caretakers picked me up from the airport and told me Camila arrived earlier from her hotel. I was excited about meeting her again and just having a fun date with her. I had the whole day planned out in my head and I couldn't be more proud of my romance skills. However, I couldn't shake the dark thoughts forming in my mind.
This was the day to say goodbye to the love of my life.
It was so hard not to just break down and cry because I was going to lose her. But as Sam said, no sad goodbyes. If it was my last day with Camila, I would do my best to make it something that would show her just how much I loved her.
The moment I stepped inside, I immediately smelled smoke. "Did you leave something cooking?" I asked the caretakers.
"Ms. Cabello insisted she wanted to cook for you."
My eyes widened and I immediately ran towards the stairs and grabbed the fire extinguisher off the wall. I kicked the kitchen door open and pointed the hose at Camila.
"Where's the fire?!" I yelled, only to be met by Camila's glare.
"Hey! That's rude."
I looked around and noticed everything seemed to be in order. "Wait so there's no fire?" Camila rolled her eyes and threw some flour at me. "Hey!"
I leaned the fire extinguisher on the wall and made my way beside her. She gave me a towel and I wiped the flour off my face with it. "What are you making?" I asked.
"Breakfast. But because you're being rude, I'm kinda regretting it now."
I looked at the stack of pancakes on the kitchen counter. "Oh wow, those look... edible."
"Okay, I'm done, I'm leaving," Camila said, dropping the spoon on the counter.
"Hey! Hey!" I called out, wrapping my arms behind her and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry. And thank you for cooking me breakfast."
She looked back at me and rolled her eyes. But she still gave me a small peck before going back to cooking.
"I asked Ally to teach me if that's what you're asking," she said as I just stared at her. "It was a trial and error method."
I chuckled. "I can imagine."
Watching her cook for me was just as charming as kissing her if I was being honest. There was just something about the one you love taking time out of their day to take care of you. She looked so happy as she hummed while flipping them.
I would give anything to have this for the rest of my life.
-//-//-//-//-//-
Camila and I spent the morning fooling around on the beach. And when I say fooling around, I mean trying to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater. Then after that, we went to Club Yates and went on a private boat ride. Luckily, no Diego this time so it was just her cuddling against me as we watched different kinds of fishes swim by us.
After that, we had lunch at the club as Camila pushed my restraint by constantly talking to me in Spanish with a smirk on her face. Once we were done, we made our way back to the house and watched some movies while snuggled up close to each other. All in all, the day has been perfect for the two of us.
But it was what I had planned for tonight that I was really excited about.
"Are you kidnapping me?" Camila asked with a raised eyebrow.
I just rolled my eyes and held the sleep mask in my hand. "Just wear it, come on."
"What for? Please just tell me baby?" I was about to say no when she pulled out that pout. That fucking pout. I sighed and closed my eyes as I thought of death, blood, anything that could get her cuteness out of my head.
When I finally opened my eyes, I used the opportunity to slip the sleep mask over her head. She squealed but didn't make a move to remove it. "Y/N, I swear if I stub my toe in something, you're in trouble."
"I'll be here, don't worry." I made my way to her side and held her against me. Slowly, I walked us over to the back door and down the stairs into the beach.
"When you take this off we better not be at the cliff."
"Good idea, I'll push you down then—ouch!" I cried out when she slapped m my arm. After a few more steps, we finally arrived at our destination. "Okay, we're here. You ready?"
"It's not something scary, is it?"
I rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Take the mask off now."
Her hands made their way to her eyes and I watched as her eyes widened the moment she took the mask off.
In front of her was a white sheet settled on the shore with various pillows propped up against a small table in the middle. It was surrounded by numerous lit candles that danced beautifully, lighting up the night sky in contrast with the stars. In front of the sheet was a crackling fire with two bags of marshmallows on the side.
"Oh my god, Y/N. It's amazing."
I intertwined our fingers together and kissed her knuckles. "Only the best for you, princess." She gave me one lingering kiss before she made her way to the table. I put my phone on the speaker and let the music surround us.
She bit her lip as I settled beside her and grabbed one of the pillows. "This is beautiful, baby. Thank you."
"I wanted this night to be special."
"Why tonight though? What's happening tonight?"
My smile faltered and I quickly looked down, hoping Camila didn't notice the sudden shift of mood. I hated lying to her but knew that at this time, I had no choice. "Tonight's only just the start. I'll do my best to make every night we're together special."
"Aww, that's so sweet," she said and gave me another kiss on the cheek. "Now, come on. It's time for some s'mores."
She grabbed my hand and pulled me up then led me near the fire. Once we had the marshmallows settled on it, I decided to stare at Camila. A soft smile was playing on her lips as she watched the fire. She looked so radiant as the reflection danced in her brown eyes. I tried to remember this moment as it is, even knowing I'll forget it in a few hours.
"Why are you staring at me?" she asked.
"I wanna know what you thought of me when we first met."
She pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. "I didn't know much about you, only what Lauren told me. So I thought you were just another producer, you know?" I nodded. "But when I got to know you, that's when I knew you were so much more than this mega famous person. You, on the other hand, must've thought I was annoying."
"On the contrary, I thought you were adorable."
I saw the blush creep up her cheeks before she tried to hide it by coughing. "You are too much for my heart."
I laughed and scooted closer to her so that my arm was against hers. We ate the marshamallows once they were ready and Camila rested her head on my shoulder as we put the second batch near the fire.
"Hey, Camila?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think if I wasn't famous, you would've fallen in love with me?"
She raised her head and looked at me. "What do you mean?"
"What if I wasn't famous? What if I never worked on your album? Do you think we would still have met?"
"Like if we lived different lives?"
I sighed at the thought. "Yeah."
She reached out and turned my head so I was looking into her eyes. "I know you'll think I'm being too much of an optimist but I actually believe in soulmates. I believe that somewhere out there, someone's made for you. And Y/N, I have no doubt that we were made for each other." She smiled and kissed my forehead. "You're my soulmate."
Then maybe, just maybe, I still had a chance to find her when I return to my old life. I could only hope that even if my mind forgot about her, my heart would always continue to call her name.
"Dance with me?" I asked.
"I thought you'd never ask."
I made my way to the speaker and played Tenerife Sea. I knew how much Camila loved Ed Sheeran. And by the way her face practically lit up, I knew I made the right choice. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I placed mine on her hips. We let the music move us as we stared into each other's eyes.
You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
The way it falls on the side of your neck
Down your shoulders and back.
Camila's brown eyes were hypnotizing as she looked up at me. Right now, right here, there was nothing but the two of us. We were in our own world where no one can take this love away from us. Everything about this moment was a conclusion to the love we shared and before I could even think about it, the words were already out of my mouth.
"Camila, I love you. I love your laugh and how it makes my heart race. I love your smile and how it makes me content—fulfilled—when I'm the reason for it," I said, and was rewarded with that same bright, sweet smile.
"I love your voice and how it makes me want to hear it everyday," I continued. "I love your confidence and how you don't take shit from anybody. I especially love when you talk to me in Spanish because a language shouldn't suddenly sound so sexy just because you say it."
"Oh my god," she cried out and settled her face on my neck as I felt her whole body shake in laughter.
"I love the way you take care of your fans like they mean the whole world to you. I love how you make me feel nervous about messing things up because for the first time in my life, I finally found something I really, really want." Camila looked up at me and I saw the start of tears forming in her eyes.
"Camila, I love you, I always have. And I've always been afraid that you'll say those same words back today but not tomorrow. At first I had my doubts but time with you made me realize that it's okay. Just being with you, laughing with you, smiling with you, is enough for me."
Finally, I had it.
My final goodbye to Camila Cabello.
I wiped away her tears with my thumbs and gave her the sweetest smile I could. "I love you in so many ways I never imagined it was possible to love someone. And no matter what happens to us... I always will."
Deep in my heart, I knew that even if I forget her or even if I never meet her again, that she would have my heart. Maybe I'll have a relationship with other people but they would never make me feel as alive or as loved as the girl in front of me.
Camila wrapped her arms around my head and I saw the desire in them. But also the love that she's showed me every day that we spent together.
Finally, she pulled me down to her lips for the last time. The kiss was gentle at first but slowly became urgent and needy as she pulled our bodies closer. The thought that this was the last time I could taste her lips and feel her body almost made me cry but I willed the tears away and stayed strong. Camila's hands made their way to my hair, raking her fingernails along my skin so I moaned. She took the initiative and we battled for dominance until we both pulled away panting.
She placed her hands on my face and looked into me with eyes clouded with desire. "Stay with me tonight," she said, her breath hushed and yet every word reverberated in my mind.
I nodded and took her back to the house where she let me love her slowly, gently, making the passion between us explode as I held her body against mine.
-//-//-//-//-//-
It was hard to leave Camila sleeping in the bed we shared but I knew that staying longer would only make it harder and harder for me to leave.
So I grabbed my clothes and headed for the beach alone. The waves were crashing against the shore as the wind howled against me. My footsteps were heavy, like moving them took an insurmountable amount of effort. My body craved Camila's and it was screaming at me to come back and stay with her forever. But I knew it wasn't right so I just kept moving until I was a good distance from the house.
"Still want to make that wish?"
I turned around and saw Phantasm looking out at the ocean. "It's the right thing to do."
"I'm surprised you still want to do this after what you and Camila just shared."
I chuckled bitterly. "It's a curse being a righteous motherfucker."
Phantasm turned to me and smiled. "And yet that's what makes you great. " I sighed and looked out at the ocean. I didn't want to leave, I was scared. But waiting would be worse because I'm afraid if I don't do it today, then I won't do it at all.
"Did you say goodbye to everyone?"
"Not everyone."
"Who else then?"
I looked at her and smiled. "Goodbye, Phantasm." Her eyes widened at the mention of her name. "Thank you for giving me an opportunity to live my dream. Thank you for letting me meet all these people. Most importantly, even more than an application on a phone, you became my friend. It's something I never wished for and yet you gave me. Thank you."
"Way to catch me by surprise there, cactus." I chuckled at the nickname she always used to call me before Camila and I got together. "You're really one of a kind."
"I'm going to miss you," I said. "Thank you... for everything."
"Did I ever tell you what I'm for?"
"Wish granting phone application?"
She rolled her eyes as I laughed. "I help people realize their true potential. I give them back the opportunities they missed and I let them live the life they would've gotten if they didn't let it pass. But as I said before, they don't keep me forever because of the price they have to pay. But they grow into better people when they go back."
"How can they grow if they don't remember?" I asked.
"I take away memories but not the person they've become. That's why even if I took away your memories, you won't go back to the broody Y/N who worked at the convenience store. You'd be the stronger, more persistent Y/N who loves her family whole-heartedly."
"I just won't remember how I became that person."
She nodded as the wind blew her hair back. "Are you ready?"
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I have a favor to ask you," I said once I opened them again.
"What is it?"
My hand reached out and touched the necklace that Camila gave me. "Can I keep this?"
Phantasm sighed. "Y/N—"
"I'm not asking for the memories of this necklace. I just want to keep it."
She shook her head. "Why ask for it when you can't even remember where it's from?"
"It doesn't matter. I've lost my sister and am about to lose my girlfriend in this life. I can't lose them in another one. I just need it to remind me that no matter what happens, there are people I love who are waiting for me."
Phantasm stepped closer to me and placed her hands on my cheeks. Her smile calmed the fears in my mind and I felt myself smiling back. "You'll feel like something's missing. Like you're supposed to be somewhere, beside someone but you don't know who. Don't give up on that feeling, Y/N. Find it. Find her. Find Camila."
I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. She held me tightly, like she was afraid to let me go and I thought I heard her sniff but I knew that Phantasm didn't cry. At least not for me.
"Y/N," she called out, "make the wish."
"I wish I had my old life back," I said, letting the tears fall on my cheeks. "The life I had before I met you."
I felt her nod against me and this time, it was me that hugged her tighter. I closed my eyes, afraid of what the wish would make me feel. But strangely, I felt calm, like I was floating on air, and yet I still clung to Phantasm.
And one last time, I heard her voice but for someone reason seemed so far away. Still, her words echoed around me, willing me to remember—to understand.
"I will always remember you. Even if you won't remember me."
That was the last thing I heard before I let the darkness consume me.
A/N: See you all in the last chapter ❤️