"You're going into this without a plan, aren't you?"
My grip on the steering wheel tightened as Phantasm voiced out the obvious. I was in a car zooming through the highway while veering away from potential crashes. "I do have a plan," I reminded her.
I could imagine her rolling her eyes as my phone sat on the passenger seat.
"If you call storming inside a house demanding for answers a plan, then yes, you could be an evil mastermind."
It was my turn to roll my eyes now. This argument, in its core, all had something to do with my girlfriend denying dating me on national radio. It wouldn't be a problem at all, of course, since I just needed some sort of explanation and I was adamant in getting it—calling her immediately as soon as I knew she was done with the interview.
Surprise, surprise, she didn't answer.
As I tried to call her over and over again the whole day, she only responded with three words.
Camila: Talk later. Busy
If she thought that was going to satiate the questions floating in my head, then she's got me all wrong. Of course, her words, asking me to trust her, resounded in my head. And I did trust her, I don't doubt her one bit.
But when she's clearly avoiding the topic then I'm entitled to an explanation aren't I?
I slowed the car to a stop just in front of the girls' apartment in LA. There was still no definitive plan in mind for what I was about to do, just that I needed to talk to Camila and sort things out with her. I just wanted a reason and once I got it, I'll be fine. I took a few deep breaths before grabbing my phone and jogging towards the door.
"This isn't the best way to go about this, you know," I heard Phantasm say but I was already knocking on the door.
Lauren immediately smiled when she saw me on the other side. "Hey, Y/N. What are you doing here?" she asked, moving to the side so I can enter.
I looked around as she closed the door behind me. "Is Camila here?"
"Uh... no."
"Do you know where she is?"
I saw Lauren's eyebrows furrow ever so slightly. "I—she—no actually."
"What?"
"I don't know where she is," Lauren said, looking down at her feet. I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me to it. "I think I hear Dinah calling me actually, let me just—"
She didn't even finish the sentence before she ran away from me. Luckily, my reflexes were fast and I caught her arm before she made her escape. I pulled her close to me, my hands on her arms and our faces close to each other.
"You know where she is, don't you?" But Lauren only shook her head. "Lauren, are you really lying to me again?"
It seemed like that did the trick because she winced and looked away from me. I let her go but held her arm in case she planned to run away again. My heart began to race at the thought of Lauren and Camila hiding secrets from me. I mean, they both know the shit we went through because of all these lies and now they were doing it again?
"I... don't want to lie to you," she said quietly.
"Then don't."
"But it's also not my place to say."
"And it's also not you or Camila's place to keep secrets from me again."
Lauren sighed as I crossed my hands over my chest. I knew I was being difficult but I couldn't just ignore the fact that they were doing what they did to me all those months ago. What was Camila doing that required her to push me into the dark again?
"Don't get angry, okay?" she said.
"That depends."
"Camila has a collab."
I tilted my head to the side expecting Lauren to explain further but she just settled her green eyes on me. "I mean," I started, "she has one with Shawn, I know that. Are you saying she has a new one?"
Lauren nodded. "With Machine Gun Kelly."
"Uh... right," I said, trying to poke around my head, hoping the name was familiar but coming up with nothing. "Why didn't she say anything about it to me?"
"That," Lauren said, rubbing her temples, "you have to ask Camila."
I raked a hand through my hair in frustration. There should've been no reason for Camila to lie to me about a collab with someone else. I mean, they were just singing so why avoid me on the issue? Unless, of course, there was something else below the surface.
"I still don't get it, Laur," I said, leaning my back on the door. "What does this collab thing have to do with her saying we weren't dating?"
She cleared her throat and looked away. I heard her mutter something under her breath that I didn't quite hear. I was about to call her out on it when she glanced at me. "They need to promote their single."
"Uh huh," I answered, tapping my foot in impatience.
"It's a love song." I grunted in response. "They're going to be seen together everywhere. Interviews, concerts, guestings."
I pushed forward from the door and sighed. "Lauren, I still don't get—"
And that's when everything clicked into place.
"Motherfucker," I breathed out while my mind was working overtime to process my realization. I looked up and met Lauren's eyes as she bit her lip in anticipation for what I'm about to say. "They're making her have a PR relationship with him."
"W—Well not really, they—hey wait! Y/N!"
Lauren's voice became distant as I ran out of the house and towards my car. I grit my teeth and slammed the door shut as I fumbled for my seatbelt. I didn't even notice there was someone sitting on the passenger seat until I heard her voice.
"Y/N."
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, jumping from my seat and banging my elbow on the car door. "Ouch! Fuck. Don't do that, P!"
Before I could say anything else, Phantasm reached out and grabbed my arm tightly. "Let's go."
"Well if you let go of my arm then I can drive away."
A foreign intensity suddenly crossed her features. "There's no time to be driving. I'll be damned if those corporate assholes make my ship sink again."
"What're you—"
"Ever wondered how I get from place to place quickly?" she grinned.
"Uh... you telepo—"
The words died down from my mouth as a sudden burst of air slammed against me and I felt my body hurled in every direction.
-//-//-//-//-//-
"Holy shit!"
I placed my hands on my knees and tried to regulate my breathing. My chest felt like a hundred ton weight was pressed on it, making it hard for me to breath. Phantasm just rubbed my back as I wheezed.
"We... are not... doing that... again," I panted. Walking over to the sink in front of me, I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. As I glanced up at the mirror, I winced at the disaster my hair has become.
"Sorry, this is the first time I did it with someone," Phantasm apologized.
I just glared at her from the mirror and tried to fix my hair and clothes. "Where are we anyway?"
"The Epic building, Fifth Harmony's label. It's about time I give them a piece of my mind—Phantasm style."
I shook my head and waved her away. "No, I'll handle this."
"But, Y/N—"
"I need an explanation. They can't just expect me to say yes to this arrangement. Let me be the one to face..." I drawled out, looking at Phantasm expectantly.
"LA Reid," she supplied.
"...Ella Weed and—"
"No, L-A-Reid. L-A, Los Angeles."
"LA Reid," I corrected, "and ask him why the fuck he's controlling my girlfriend's personal life. So wait for me here."
Phantasm sighed but nodded nonetheless. After checking my reflection one last time, I walked towards the lobby and asked someone where his office was. As soon as the woman recognized me, she led me towards the elevators and out into Reid's office.
"Mr. Reid, Y/N L/N is here to see you," she said, moving to the side so I can enter. She closed the door behind her as soon as I stepped foot inside the office.
Reid stood up and beamed at me. "Y/N L/N, this is a surprise. Have a seat," he said, motioning to an empty seat, "how can I help you today?"
I didn't make a move to sit and opted to stand on the other side of his table instead. "What do you think you're doing?"
He chuckled and sat down. "You're going to have to be more specific than that."
My hands slammed on the table and he jumped in his seat. "Why are you making Camila date someone else when she's dating me?" I yelled.
LA Reid looked like a man who always did his best to stay on top of the situation. He looked like someone who was calm and calculated. That's why seeing him wince at the tone of my voice felt good.
He cleared his throat and smoothed out his tie. "I—it's not what you think," he stuttered.
"Oh yeah? Then by all means fucking enlighten me."
"You're an artist," he cried out, throwing his arms in the air. "You know how PR works. And you even have the wrong idea. We're not telling them to date."
I scoffed. "She said we weren't dating."
"Exactly," he exclaimed. "Camila is not dating anyone. That's the selling point. No one's going to believe they're dating anyway. But since both MGK and Camila need to promote the single, and it's a love song, we have to fuel rumors."
"You bastard."
"It's business," he replied with a smirk. "I'm not telling you guys to break up. You can still see each other off camera. But we need to sell an image that Camila's single. We have to build up rumors if she and MGK are dating or not. That would get people curious. And what's most important—curious enough to buy the single."
Talking about it with him made it clear why this man was in the position he was now. He had a way with words, with logic, that even if you knew he was wrong, he could still convince you of the opposite. And it would've worked with me if only I wasn't letting anger control my thoughts.
"This is bullshit," I said through gritted teeth. "That single, whatever the fuck that is, can sell without all this PR crap."
"Need I remind you that you're just an artist bound by chains and iron balls of contracts? We are the ones who run this show."
I moved closer to him and leaned on his table, pointing my finger at him. "Look here you ass, can't you see that—"
"Y/N?"
An all too familiar voice interrupted me and both Reid and I turned to her. My eyes immediately lit up at the sight of Camila but I quickly frowned as a man walked in behind her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, cautiously walking closer to me.
I crossed my arms and glared at Reid. "I was just giving your boss here the reasons why this PR stunt isn't going to work out."
"PR... stunt?"
Reid sighed. "Y/N found out what I asked you to do about your relationship."
"O—oh."
In two strides, I was in front of Camila and holding her hands in mine. "You won't do it, right? I mean you won't really deny our relationship, right?" Camila avoided my eyes and bit on her lip. "Right?" I asked, louder this time and with my grip a little bit tighter around hers.
"She doesn't have a choice. It's in the contract."
"What?"
"I agree actually, do we really need to hide that they're dating?" the man behind Camila asked.
"Shut up, Water Gun Kehlani. This doesn't involve you," I said then turned to Reid. "What do I have to do to get Camila out of this contract? How much do you fucking want?"
"Y/N," Camila called out.
"Don't worry, you'll be out of this contract as soon as possible."
"Y/N, stop."
"I'm doing this for you!"
"I don't want you to!"
The room was eerily quiet as Camila and I just stared at each other. Neither of the other two people inside made any move to talk. It took me a few minutes before I found my voice again.
"What did you say?" Camila looked pissed—annoyed even. And I had no fucking idea why because shouldn't I be the one pressed about all of this bullshit?
"I thought you trusted me? You said you believed me," she cried out.
"Well I'm sorry for trying to find out the truth because I was fucking traumatized by you and Lauren continuously lying to me for months."
"Hey now, let's calm—"
"Sit the fuck down, BB Gun Kellogg's!" I shouted, pointing at him before turning back to Camila. "Is this relationship not important to you? Are you fucking embarrassed by me that you prefer people to think you're single than with me? Is a three minute mash of beats and melody more important than the love we share for each other?"
Camila just looked at me with a pained expression. "Is it?" I asked. However, when she didn't say anything, I knew I had her answer.
I chuckled and shook my head. "Good luck with the song. I hope it's worth all this bullshit."
Before anyone can say anything more, I made my way to the door and slammed it shut behind me. I didn't even let the secretary stop me as I heard her shouting my name, telling me to stop. Typing a quick wish on my phone, I rode the elevator down the lobby and saw the car I left at the girls' apartment in the parking lot.
Once I was seated inside, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Along with it, a wave of anger enveloped me and I gripped the steering wheel tightly until my knuckles were white as snow.
I've spent all this time trying to get Camila—all the heartbreak and all the hardwork. And now do I need to do all of that again just to keep her?
I don't know what made me look back at the building doors—instinct maybe? Because when I did I saw Camila looking at me through the car window. I knew she couldn't see me and I also knew seeing me wasn't what she wanted. She was expecting me to get out of the car and talk things out with her. And to be honest, that would probably be for the best.
But I found my hand turning the key in the ignition and driving away from the parking lot and from the love of my life.
-//-//-//-//-//-
"Why am I not surprised we ended up here again?"
I rolled my eyes at Phantasm as I placed my phone on the bar. "I'm not here to get drunk, if that's what you're thinking."
"Of course not. No one goes to a club to drink. People actually go to clubs to pray and have bible studies in little circles."
I chuckled as the bartender walked over to me. "What's your poison?"
"Beer cocktail."
He smirked at me. "Not looking to forget, eh?"
"I have to drive myself home so," I said with a shrug. He didn't say anything more and walked away from me.
"Why are we even here if you won't get drunk?" Phantasm asked from beyond my phone.
"Make up your mind, P. Do you want me to get drunk or not?"
"We could've just stayed at the hotel room you know," she replied with a huff.
I nodded and looked behind me at the dancefloor. "I know but the loud music fills my head—prevents me from overthinking about stuff."
She raised an eyebrow and looked at me curiously. "Stuff with Camila?"
"...yeah," I said after a second of hesitation. It's been three days since then and I haven't talked to Camila at all. Lauren and Dinah kept texting me, asking about what happened with their bandmate because Camila didn't want to talk about it. Unfortunately for them, neither did I.
The beer cocktail came after a few minutes and I let the cool liquid trace its way down my throat. I've avoided watching or seeing news as best as I can these past few days. I was scared that if I do, I'd see someone link Gun dude with Camila. I had no idea what I'm gonna do if I do ever see that happen.
"Just wish for the contract to be voided," Phantasm said. "That way you wouldn't sulk like this."
I chuckled and shook my head. "No. I'm done interfering with Camila's life with my wishes. Her love... is the only real thing I have in this life. I don't want to let that go."
"You know, sometimes I hate how righteous you are," she said and I just laughed away her concern.
As I continued drinking, I felt a slender hand wrap around my shoulder. My heart skipped, wondering if it was Camila. But as soon as I turned my head, I was met with a pair of hooded blue eyes from a stranger instead of the familiar warmth of my girlfriend's brown eyes.
"So you're here alone... want some company?"
I raised an eyebrow at her slurred words. She was obviously already smashed and I began to wonder if she even recognized who I was. "Sorry, I just want to be by myself," I said with a tight smile.
"Oh hush," she said, planting her fingers on my lips. I shook them off but she just giggled. "No one goes to a club to be alone."
God, she was starting to sound like Phantasm.
"Well I do and I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone."
"Oh come on baby, just one dance!" she leaned towards me, almost falling off her stool.
I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I really don't—"
She reached out and grabbed my arm. "You won't regret it, I pro—" Her arm was suddenly pulled from me and I hissed as her nails scraped across my skin.
"She said leave."
I turned and saw Camila's hand wrapped around the girl's wrist. There was blind rage in her eyes as she stared the girl down. However, probably because she was drunk and had no grip on the situation, the girl didn't relent and scoffed at her.
"I saw her first bitch."
"And she's my girlfriend. Your point?"
The girl finally got the hint and not a minute too soon because I saw the tick in Camila's jaw and knew she was holding herself back from probably slapping her. The girl pulled her arm free and walked away from us but not before mumbling a 'whatever'.
As soon as the girl got lost beyond the sea of bodies, Camila turned her dark glare on me. I rolled my eyes and finished the drink in front of me.
"What are you doing?" Camila asked, her tone laced with anger. "You go to a club and you don't even tell me."
I let out a bitter chuckle. "You're not really in a position to get angry at me for not telling you stuff."
I cast a sideways glance at her and saw her shoulders tense. Before she could say anything, I threw down some money for the drink and walked away. I didn't even glance back to look if Camila was following me or not. Once I arrived at the parking lot, I pulled out my key and unlocked the car when it was suddenly grabbed from me.
"I'll drive, you're drunk."
I sighed and stopped walking, turning around so I could look at Camila. "I had one drink. Give me back my keys."
Instead of answering, she just walked past me and towards my car. I groaned at how difficult Camila was being. Nevertheless, I followed her into my car and buckled myself on the front seat.
"How'd you even find me?" I asked.
"Give me your arm."
"What?"
"Your arm is bleeding."
I looked down and noticed the small trickles of red running down my skin. Camila had my whole attention that I didn't even notice the sting. She turned to me and pulled out the tissue box from the glove compartment, carefully dabbing at the scratch. We just stayed like that for a while, bathed in silence.
And this was the exact thing I didn't want to happen, that's why I wanted loud music in my ears. Because now, I was hyper aware of Camila. Right now, I was just looking at the concentration on her face as she carefully wiped the blood away. I watched as her tongue slipped out and licked her lower lip before she chewed on it.
"I went to your hotel," she said quietly, "and saw your car leave so I followed you."
She wiped away the last traces of blood and blew on my arm. Our eyes met the moment she looked up and I wanted so badly to close the distance and kiss her. She must've been thinking the same thing because she looked down at my lips with longing glances. By some sort of miracle, I found the strength to pull away and lean back on my seat.
"It's time we both headed home."
Camila cleared her throat before she drove out of the lot and into the road. It was a few minutes into the drive when she talked to me again.
"I'm sorry about what happened. I know it's my fault for not telling you."
"Well why didn't you tell me?" I asked, refusing to look at her and opting to look at the dark sky outside the car window.
"I... was scared."
"Of me?" I asked.
"Of your reaction." She slowed to a stop in front of a red light and reached over to turn my head in her direction. "I was excited about this new collab and was planning on telling you that night in my hotel room. But then I remembered the way you acted during my collab with Shawn and I got scared that you would feel that way again—that you would stop me."
I sighed. "Camila, I would never stop you from doing something you want to do."
"I know that," she said, biting her lip. "But I also know that if I feel even a hint of anger from you, then I would drop it just so I can make you happy." The light turned green and we were on the road again. "But still, it was wrong for me to ask you to blindly trust me."
"I wasn't angry because of your collab. I was angry because you kept it a secret from me."
"Y/N—"
"It was like I trusted you but you didn't trust me. What's more, you just outright denied our relationship without even telling me first. Did you even fight your management when they made you sign that contract? Did you even think how I would feel? Because by the way you basically told me to stop fighting Reid, it seemed like I was wrong for trying to defend this relationship at all."
Camila stayed silent after my outburst and I didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing. This argument wasn't going to break our relationship, we were stronger than this. But what if she continues to hide things from me in the future and just asks me to trust her without even explaining anything? Can this relationship really handle the constant strain of secrets and lies we both keep from each other?
We settled in silence until Camila stopped at the hotel parking lot. I didn't make a move to leave, waiting for her to say something to me. But when after a few moments, she still refused to move, I decided to open the door and leave her in the car.
"Y/N, wait," I heard her call out. I slowed to a stop and let her catch up to me as I turned around. She held my hands and looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry for what happened. You're right, I should've talked to you first."
"Why do I have the feeling that this apology doesn't mean you're going to back out of the contract?"
The moment I saw her wince, I knew I was right. "Just... believe we're stronger than this. No matter what they make me do or how they make me act around anyone, it's always you I'll come back to." She grabbed my face with her hands and smiled. "I'll always be yours... and you'll always be mine."
I didn't answer but instead moved closer to rest my forehead against hers. A slow breath escaped her lips and I knew that she was right—our hearts belonged to each other. The love between us wasn't something manufactured by magic or a contract.
It was made out of two people seeing their future in each other.
Camila pulled away from me and smiled. "I have something to give you."
"Are you trying to bribe me now?" I joked, watching her fumble with something behind her neck. I saw the distinct sparkle of a pendant that was hidden underneath her shirt, behind the necklace I gave her months before.
The necklace pooled into her palm as she reached for my hand and put it there. "I had this made a few days after Sam was gone."
A silver guitar pick hung from the chain with a small silver guitar beside it. Words were engraved on the pick and I had to blink away the tears on my eyes as I read it.
Stay with the people you love.
"At Sam's funeral, you said she told you those exact words."
"She did," I said under my breath, feeling the engraving underneath my fingers.
"I was supposed to give it to you when I flew down to Miami and I heard you sprained your foot." A wistful smile played on her lips. "But when we got back together that day, I knew I had to do something more."
"More?" I asked. She reached out and turned the pick over. There was something else written there.
Stay with me.
"I told you that Sam and I were more alike than you think. At the end of the day... we just want you to stay with us."
She took the necklace from me and clasped it around my neck. "Thank you, Camila. This... means so much more than you know."
"Keep it, it's very special to me. Not as special as you, of course," she said with a giggle.
Pushing all inhibitions out of my mind, I took that last step and kissed her. She was surprised but soon enough, pulled me into the kiss like all those other times. Every fleeting peck, and every movement was filled with the emotions brewing in both our hearts. It was a kiss that said that this was okay—that we were okay—and nothing in the world could change that.
After we pulled away from each other, I just held her in my arms—feeling her warmth against mine. The only thing in my mind was that everything was finally coming together for me. Everything I dreamed about were finally coming true.
But then again, I should've been the first one to realize that dreams always came with a price...
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the one and only LukeMcAnn 👌🏻 I got the inspiration for the guitar necklace in one of the chapters of her Camila imagines book. Make sure to check it out along with her other books if you haven't already, they're amazing ❤️🙌🏻