Shelby went back to school on Monday. Luke tried to prep her to go right to her seat, encouraging her in all ways he could think to say and she tried as much as she could but being away for a week made things a little hard and set things back a bit. Shelby did make an effort to come out throughout the day. One kid even came over to the cupboard and tried to talk to her. The kid even mentioned that she sits next to Shelby's seat at their table. Her name was Lydia, but everyone in the class called her Liddy. Liddy tried a couple of times to come and include Shelby in the class activities. When she refused, Liddy started sitting outside the cupboard and would talk to her, telling Shelby random things about herself, or the teacher, or the classroom.
When Luke heard another kid had taken an interest in his daughter, he hoped Liddy would be the help they needed and even told the little girl she was welcomed over any time, to play with Shelby. Excited, Liddy went home and told her parents.
Friday came with the town prepping for their annual founder's day festival. Love felt like it was in the air. Luke didn't care much for it, focusing more on the diner and taking care of his kid.
Lorelai stopped by the diner around lunchtime, for coffee, also not too keen on the festivities either.
"So, why so cheery?" he asked her.
"I don't know. I'm just in a mood," she brushed it off.
"But there's no particular reason for this mood?"
"No."
"Hm mm," Luke scoffed.
"You don't believe me?" she questioned him.
Luke poured her coffee and returned the pot to its place, "I believe ya. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. Simply nuts." He picked up his pad of paper and pencil.
"Or bipolar," she added. "That's very big nowadays."
At that point, Taylor and Ms. Patty, who was sitting over at a table, started arguing about how the town was founded.
It tipped the iceberg for Lorelai, frustrating her more. "Can nobody talk about anything but this stupid festival?" The whole diner grew quiet and all eyes went to Lorelai. "That came out louder than it was supposed to, didn't it?"
Luke walked by and muttered, "Yep."
"Yep," she agreed.
"This festival is commemorating the founding of our town, young lady," Taylor scolded her.
Lorelai twisted around at him. "I know, Taylor. I'm sorry."
Luke looked up to add, "She's bipolar."
"Really?" Ms. Patty asked and leaned against her hand. "But you're so young."
"Uh, can I get you two anything else?" he asked of them, which both of them politely declined.
Luke returned behind the counter as Lorelai admitted, "I don't know what's wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it."
"It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age twenty-four."
Lorelai silently laughed, smiling as Luke continued.
"The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance-hall prostitute or two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster."
"You are full of hate and loathing and I gotta tell you, I love it," she told him, now excited.
Luke leaned over on the counter. "Well, it's so good to have someone to share this hate with."
Lorelai laughed, "My pleasure."
"More coffee?"
"Yeah, please."
Luke topped off her coffee mug.
"Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says, hey, how's it going?"
Luke agreed with a nod, "You're on."
Someone walked into the diner at that point and said, "Hey. How's it going?"
"Oh no, that's just too easy."
As Luke put the coffee pot back in its place, he realized that voice sounded familiar. No, it can't be. It couldn't. He turned around to see who had walked in and froze right on the spot. It was. "Rachel."
"Rachel?" Lorelai questioned. "Your Rachel?"
He gave a slight nod still staring at the woman.
Lorelai turned around to see for herself. "You're Rachel?"
"Yep," she nodded with a smile. "I'm Rachel."
His heart was thumping hard inside his chest. It was hard to breathe. This was really happening. Rachel had returned. His heart told him she might but his head said otherwise. Luke wasn't sure what to say. He was glad Shelby was in school. Lord knows he wouldn't want the kid to walk in on this without preparation. Luke had said very little to Shelby about who her mother was and Shelby didn't ask about her mother. Not really. The only thing he told her was that she had her mother's smile. That was it.
Finally, he managed to get some kind of words out. "What are you...? I mean, I thought you were in the Congo, or Philadelphia, or something?" He put his hands on his sides, trying to sound like it wasn't a big deal.
"Actually, though very similar to both the Congo and Philadelphia, I, uh," she walked over to set her stuff down near the stool next to Lorelai, "I was in the Mid East."
Luke stepped back to lean against the back counter. "Huh," he replied, staring at the floor. "Guess that postcard must have gotten lost."
"Yeah," she agreed. "Yeah, well, things are pretty crazy over there." Rachel sat down. "Not a lot of writing time. But I finished up my assignment and I flew back to Chicago, and I was walking through O'Hare, and I look up, and there's a plane leaving for Hartford in, like, twenty minutes. And all of a sudden, I'm on it."
"Nice story."
"I should've called," she said.
"No, you..." Luke glanced at Rachel but had to look down. "It's fine," he lied. Anger was starting to well up inside of him that Rachel didn't even seem to bring up the fact they have a kid, and the fact she chose to come here instead of visiting Providence to see her. But the nice guy Luke Danes was, he masked the feeling and let it go for now.
"You look good," Rachel complimented.
"Thanks," he told her. "You, um, you look...you...you, uh, look..."
Lorelai came to his rescue and said, "He thinks you look good, too." She looked at him for confirmation. "Right?"
"Right."
"And you do," she told Rachel.
"Thank you," Rachel replied.
The girls smiled before Lorelai introduced herself.
"Oh, yeah," Luke spoke up, pointing at Lorelai, "she's Lorelai."
Lorelai smiled at him, "I'm Luke's friend."
"Yeah, she, uh, works at the Independence Inn."
"I run it, actually," she corrected him.
"Sorry. She...runs it."
"Wow, I love that place," said Rachel, in surprise. "That must be a pretty big job."
"It is," she said. "It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms and only half of them work. They just shake and gurgle like their having some kind of a fit." Lorelai quickly switched topics. "Why were you in the Mid East?"
"I, uh, I was doing a photo story on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the violence," she explained.
"Ah, well then, so you understand about the job pressure."
"Yeah."
Lorelai reached for her purse, letting them know she was going to leave.
"Please," Rachel tried to reason. "Don't let me drive you away," Lorelai assured her she wasn't and told her it was nice meeting Rachel, and left, leaving the two of them alone. Well, aside from the other customers. Rachel smiled at Luke. "So," she smiled at him. "Hi."
Luke was still feeling anxious. His heart would not slow down and wished Lorelai hadn't of left. "Hi." He saw her eyes avert to Shelby's drawing on the wall she had made for him.
"I never took you as the guy that hangs kids' drawings on your wall, there."
Luke glanced at it, trying to look back at Rachel. His eyes kept dropping towards the floor. He managed to say, "Well, uh, when my kid makes me something, I feel, uh, proud to show it off."
"Your..." her expression turned to a confused one. "Your kid? You have a kid?"
Luke took in a deep breath through his nose, mustering up all he could to say, "We have a kid, Rachel."
The air grew thick. Her expression changed to a horrified one. "No... Y-y-you know...you have Shelby?"
He stared at her, now trying to slow his heart rate as best as he could. "Yep."
Rachel dropped her gaze towards the counter. She wasn't saying anything.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked.
She folded her hands to lean her nose on and closed her eyes.
Luke wasn't sure what to say next. Here she was, the mother of his child, sitting across from him, waiting for an explanation. He tried to be happy to see her. He wanted to be. Luke had a hard time getting past all the hurt this woman had put him and their daughter through.
"I was hoping you wouldn't find out," she finally said after a moment.
Not something he wanted to hear, Luke stormed away into the back.
Rachel watched him before standing up to quickly follow after him. "That's not what I meant. Luke, wait."
Gaining some confidence from the hurt and anger, he turned around when they were out of earshot from the customers. "What did you mean then?" he asked, trying to remain civil. "Because it sounds like you didn't want me to know about Shelby."
"I was scared, all right? When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what to do," she told him. "I had taken off on you...again, and I wasn't sure if going back right away was such a good idea, even with a baby on the way."
"So you gave her up to strangers instead? You thought that'll be better?" Luke demanded. "You should know me better than that, Rachel.'' All the hurt and anger he had stored up inside of him was now fully surfacing as Luke was finally able to say these things out loud and off his chest.
Rachel was now unable to meet his gaze, briefly holding her eyes closed. "I know, and I'm sorry." She forced herself to look up. "I just wasn't sure I was ready to be a mother. I figured there was someone else out there who could do a better job than I could."
Luke shook his head at the woman. "What about my rights? We could have figured things out together," he snapped.
Rachel looked away again, not saying a word. Finally, she said, "I thought about dropping her off with you..."
He folded his arms. Luke looked from Rachel to the floor. "Then you would know where she is. Am I right, Rachel?" he asked as Luke lifted his gaze at her.
"I... It wasn't easy...giving her up. I was just scared."
"How do you think I felt when I found out I was a father? Feel, actually."
Rachel looked at him. "I thought I was doing the right thing for her."
"Well, it wasn't. Shelby never was able to be adopted." Luke grabbed his vest from where he left it and stormed passed her, throwing it on. Letting Caesar know he was heading out to pick up Shelby, Luke headed out the door.
Rachel continued to follow.
"What happened?" she asked, catching up to him.
"With what?" he asked, looking ahead.
"Why wasn't she adopted?"
He let out a breath of air. "Shelby doesn't warm up to people, easily."
"What do you mean?"
Luke glanced at her. "Well, being bounced from one foster home to another, meeting all kinds of strangers, can traumatize a kid, I guess. The day I met her, Shelby wouldn't even get out of the car. She looked like a scared animal caught in a trap. She wouldn't speak to anyone and hid behind furniture. It took Lorelai's hat idea to get her out of the car."
"Hat idea?"
"I gave her one of my hats to wear and told her it'll make her invisible. Whenever she's wearing it, no one can talk to her. Can't even look in her direction until she removes it on her terms," he explained.
"And has she spoken since you got her?"
"Yep. Lorelai and her daughter researched the severity of her shyness."
"And?"
"She's selective mute. She can speak but she has so much anxiety, she can't. Shelby's not holding a full conversation yet but she's spoken short, complete sentences to me."
"I think that's great," she said with sincerity.
Luke said nothing, however.
Rachel looked away as they crossed the street. "Shelby was a beautiful baby when she was born. Does she still have those big, blue eyes?"
"Uh, yep," Luke nodded his head awkwardly. "Just like mine, aside from a few other things. Kid's practically my twin."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed to hear their daughter took after Luke in the looks department.
"Something wrong with that?" he asked.
"Oh, no, no, no. I just thought..." Rachel trailed off without another word.
The two eventually walked up towards the school where Luke paused in mid-step. He turned to face Rachel.
"Do me a favor."
"Sure," she said.
"Do not under any circumstance tell Shelby who you are," he told her, firmly, holding up a finger.
"Excuse me? I am her mother, Luke," she pointed out.
"That is up for discussion."
Rachel looked at him, giving Luke a stern look.
Luke gave one right back. "I mean it, Rachel. Do not tell her."
"I don't feel that's fair," she said.
"You lost that right when you gave her up. You'll have to earn it back."
"Fine," she reluctantly gave in.
Luke gave one last look before telling her to wait there while he went inside to get Shelby. He looked back to add, "If it makes you feel any better, it was almost two weeks before I was able to tell her who I was," and turned back around.
As he grew closer, Luke could spot Shelby's class. But what stopped him in his tracks was the kid wearing Shelby's hat towards the back of the line. Liddy was standing beside her, talking her ear off as Shelby twirled some dirt around on the sidewalk. He couldn't believe it. Luke hadn't seen his daughter outside with her class since her old school. Seriously, how did this kid always manage to turn his day around?
Luke whistled, alerting her attention. He saw her head barely lift as if she was peeking out from under her hat. Luke kneeled, balancing his arms on his knees when Shelby dashed over to him and scooped her up.
"I am so proud of you," he praised her, squeezing her to him in one arm as he smashed her backpack in as well. Luke kissed her cheek near her ear. Shelby held her arms around him.
Darla came over, smiling. "Shelby came out at Story Time when Liddy offered to share her grapes with her if she did," she explained.
"She did, huh?" Luke couldn't help smile at his daughter.
"Next thing I knew, Liddy had gotten Shelby over to their table and sharing her crayons."
"Shelby does like to color." He rubbed a hand underneath her backpack, along her back.
"Which is perfect timing because on Monday we're going to be starting rehearsal for our spring production of Peter Rabbit, and I'd like for everyone in the class to participate."
Luke had completely forgotten the elementary school puts on a play every year. Every season, actually. This wasn't good. They were making progress, sure but not that fast.
"Shelby can be a vegetable and stand in the back in she wants," she offered.
"Shelby and I can talk about it this weekend," Luke said. The two exchanged good-byes and parted ways. "How was it? School, I mean?" he asked Shelby as Luke made his way from the school.
She gave a slight shrug. "We colored."
He smiled. "Was that your favorite?"
Shelby nodded at first but said yes a moment later.
Remembering Rachel, Luke stopped. He hesitated before he spoke. "A friend of mine stopped by the diner, today. I don't know how long she'll be in town but she might be staying with us. Is that okay?"
Shelby looked away with just her eyes and gave another shrug. Luke accepted it that time, thinking she probably wasn't sure what to say. He barely knew what to say, himself.
So he continued walking. Rachel was still standing in the same spot he left her, waiting and stopped a few feet away.
Luke introduced the two together.
"Hi, Shelby. It's nice to meet you," Rachel greeted the kid. Shelby pulled her hat down and hid her face in her father's shoulder.
Luke kissed her cheek before setting Shelby on her feet. He ended up walking in between the girls, holding onto Shelby's hand. She kept her head down where the hat hid her face from view.
Rachel was watching the ground. "She's still beautiful," she said, glancing up at him.
"I know." Luke watched his daughter for a moment.
When they got back to the diner, he fixed Shelby a snack and let her watch cartoons for an hour. Rachel told him she would stay with Shelby while he worked downstairs. But Shelby kept her distance from the stranger and ended up sneaking down there and tried to pin herself to his leg.
He knelt to her level, wrapping a hand to her side. "What's wrong, Shell?"
Shelby moved closer to his ear to whisper, very softly, "See keeps ta-cing my toys."
"Rachel keeps touching your toys?" he repeated.
"Yes."
Luke rubbed his hand along her side, comfortingly. "You have to tell her you don't like your toys being touched. Rachel can't read your mind."
"I take from her. She still touc'."
"You mean she takes it out of your hand?"
Shelby shook her head. "No. Ano-ter."
"Ohhh. I'm sorry, kiddo."
"She leave now?"
"That's up to her, kiddo. I'm not gonna make her leave just because she's touching your toys."
Shelby frowned at the floor.
Luke kissed the side of her forehead. "You hungry?"
She nodded, not looking up.
"What would you like?"
"Cheese sandwic'."
He stood up, lifting Shelby with him, and moved around the counter to set her on one of the stools. Luke made Shelby a special grilled cheese, cutting out a smiley face in the middle of each slice of bread. She couldn't help smile when he set the plate in front of her and playfully grabbed at her head as Luke headed over to a table to drop off someone else's order.
When he came back, Rachel appeared from upstairs, to which Luke whispered to her, "Don't touch her toys," to warn her.
"Why not?"
"Shelby came to me upset that you were touching the Pokemons."
"Oh, did she now?" Rachel smirked as if they were joking.
But, Luke didn't smile back. "I mean it." With that said, he returned to their daughter, asking if she wanted something to drink. Luke still had mixed feelings about everything but one thing he did know. He did not want Shelby to get hurt again. Even if it was just about a bunch of kid's meal toys.
Rachel went over to where Shelby was sitting and sat beside her. "I didn't upset you upstairs, did I, Shelby?" she asked of the little girl.
Luke could hear from the kitchen where he was pouring a glass of milk. There was a short pause before he heard Rachel continue.
"If I did, I'm sorry." It sounded sincere but not as affectionate as the way he talked to Shelby.
Luke returned shortly, setting the milk down above her plate. Shelby's form looked tensed as she stared at her food. He leaned on his arms. "Hey, if you ever feel uncomfortable, let me know. Okay?" Since Shelby had forgotten her hat upstairs, Luke pulled his, off and placed it on her head. Shelby pulled it over her eyes but did not continue eating. He caught a look from Rachel as Luke made his way over to a couple who just walked in and sat down.
Later that evening, the three headed over to the park for the festival since Rachel wanted to. Shelby had her own hat this time. The town started with the bonfire which took a while to light, trying to find matches to light it with, followed by a fistfight before everyone walked around the park, enjoying themselves. Rachel had brought her camera along, snapping pictures whenever she found a good shot. When Luke had decided to go sit down, she tried to encourage Shelby to walk around some more but the kid refused, wanting to stay with her dad as she hid her face in her hat. So, Rachel went off alone, returning once she ran out of film.
"You getting some good stuff?" he asked while holding Shelby on his leg.
"Oh yeah," she replied, satisfied. "Yeah, the firelight really changes people. It makes them seem happier, freer, all troubles in the world completely gone."
"I don't think that's the firelight. I think that's the founders' day party punch they've been selling," Luke pointed out.
"Oh yeah. That stuff is good." She switched out films from her jacket pocket.
"Okay, at some point are you gonna tell me what you're doing here?"
"I'm putting more film in my camera."
"Rachel."
She focused on her camera. "What?" Rachel looked up at him, who wasn't letting it go. "I told you, I was at the airport and now I'm here."
"Oh, well, sure, when you put it like that," he shrugged, sarcastically.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't sound all that happy to see me," she said.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but," Luke placed his hands over Shelby's ears, firmly but gentle before continuing, lowering his voice to just above a whisper, "not only do you have a tendency to show up and leave, you walked out on our kid and did not tell me. Definitely not one of your charming attributes."
Rachel looked forward. "So you're not happy to see me?"
Luke remained silent, staring at her.
"Luke, I don't know what I'm doing here, okay? I just missed you. I wanted to see you."
"What about Shelby, here?" He glanced down at their daughter, who was holding onto his wrist, in one hand.
"Honestly, I have thought about Shelby. How she was doing. If she had found a family. And every time I looked into the face of a child over there... the look on their faces, it always made me wonder if Shelby was safe or not." She looked at Luke. "I'm glad you have her, Luke. I really am."
Luke softened, accepting that response. "I missed you, too," he finally admitted and released his hands from Shelby's ears. When he tried to lower his hand, Shelby pulled it back, holding it to the side of her head as she leaned against him. Both him and Rachel smiled at the scene.
Finally, Rachel continued. "So, since we're both being blunt. What's the deal with Lorelai?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Lorelai. The lady who runs the inn, the one you've told me, absolutely, nothing about. Except that she's been helping with Shelby." She snickered, "Be very careful to leave out any story, anecdote, or gossip about the town."
He smiled at the grass. "There is no deal with Lorelai," he said, lifting his head. "We're friends."
"For now."
"Yes."
"And in the future?"
"Well, Lorelai is...you know...she's just, um..." Luke stumbled over his words, unsure of what to say. "I mean, at times it seems like..." He looked at her. "I don't know. But I am happy to see you."
Shelby looked up at him.
Rachel smiled at him. "Good," she said and told him she was going to get more punch, asking if he wanted any. Luke declined, stating that the stuff would kill you. "Some things never change." Rachel stood up to leave.
Luke caught Shelby sticking her tongue out as Rachel walked away. "Hey, be nice," he scolded her, gently. Shelby hid her face in her hat again. She looked up when Lorelai appeared next to them, asking about the fire department. "Aren't you supposed to be in Hartford?"
"Yeah," she replied.
"What happened?"
"Climbed out the window."
"Okay," he said.
"That's it? You're not curious why?"
"No." In actuality, he was curious but didn't want to pry.
"That's what I love about you."
Shelby slid down from her father's leg and moved over to squeeze in between the two adults, who scooted over a little so she could sit down. Shelby removed her hat.
"Hey, sweetheart," Lorelai greeted, happily. This was the first time the kid had done something like this around her. Luke couldn't feel any prouder. He also couldn't help wonder why it was happening on the day her mother had returned and if it had any connection. More joy washed over him at what happened next. Shelby put her arm around Lorelai and shyly gave her a semi hug. Lorelai glanced at Luke with a surprised look. Happy but surprised, she lightly held an arm around Shelby, to return the hug.
Shelby looked up and smiled for her.
Lorelai lowered her head to ask, "Are you having fun?"
Luke's heart skipped a beat when he saw Shelby lean in to whisper in her ear for a split second. He couldn't hear what she said. The fact her mouth moved was something. She leaned in again to say more.
"No," Lorelai replied. "Oh, how did I miss that? I'm so bummed."
"What?" asked Luke.
"There was a fight?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah. Taylor and Harry got into it together," he explained. "It was good. Didn't think Shelby was okay with that. She hid behind me when it started."
Lorelai shrugged before changing the subject. "So, where's Rachel?"
"She's a founders' party punch junkie," he replied.
"Even the nice girls aren't safe," Lorelai commented.
"She's been running around here, taking all kinds of pictures."
She snickered. "She's having a good time."
"I guess so," he muttered and added, "I hope so."
"So?"
Luke looked at her. "Yes?" he questioned.
"So, what's the haps with you two?"
"The haps?" Luke repeated. "Well, let's see. What is the haps?"
"I mean, like, you know..."
"I know what you meant by 'the haps,'" he told her.
"Okay, well, you were repeating it, like a thousand times," she pointed out, sounding annoyed with him.
"I was pondering."
"Well, you ponder really slowly," Lorelai teased him.
"If I did it fast, it wouldn't be pondering," he argued. "Pondering by nature has a slow connotation."
"Okay, fine. Fine." There was a paused before Lorelai asked, "Is she, um, staying?"
"I don't know."
Lorelai looked at him, quickly. "Do you want her to?"
"I don't know."
"She seems to really like you."
"Yeah, she does but she doesn't have the greatest attention span."
She nodded at the ground, "Yeah."
"But, she is here." Luke stared at the ground as well.
"Yes, she is."
He took a deep breath. "I don't know. You spend a lot of time, debating things, you know. Is it right, is it wrong? Should I do this, should I do that? Sometimes you should just jump in and take a shot. What's the worst that can happen? She left before, I lived. But then I think, things are different now. It's not just me I have to worry about this time." Luke glanced at his daughter, who was swinging her feet.
"Does she..." Lorelai looked at him.
"No, not yet. I want to wait it out first. Let her... You know."
"I think that's great," she said.
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks," he told her.
"You're welcome." Lorelai smiled at the ground.
"Well, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel," he declared, looking around for her.
"That's nice," she muttered, softly.
"What?"
"That you have somebody to go check up on. That's nice."
"Yeah, it is. Unless she's completely drunk and throwing up," Luke pointed out.
Lorelai shrugged, "Still nice," and gave a small laugh.
Luke smiled before he said, "I'll see you tomorrow?"
She smiled. "Tomorrow."
He reached around Shelby to playfully punch Lorelai's leg before standing to his feet. When Luke stood up and held out his hand for Shelby to take, he saw she hadn't moved from the bench.
"Come on, Shell. We're gonna go find Rachel and go home."
Shelby still did not stand. She remained, staring at the grass. Her feet had stopped swinging before he had stood up.
It was Lorelai who spotted something was wrong, first. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She leaned over, tilting her head, sideways to look at the kid, directly. Lorelai wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
When Shelby still hadn't answered, Luke squatted down in front of her, placing his hands on the edge of the bench for balance.
"Hey, kiddo. What's the matter?" he asked her, softly. Luke could see his daughter shutting down again. Her body was tense and she gripped her hat, tight.
"You can tell us anything, sweetie. Your dad and I won't get mad. Not at you," Lorelai assured her. She was rubbing Shelby's upper arm, up and down, comfortingly.
Tears were starting to fill her eyes.
"Want to tell me at home?" Luke asked, after a few minutes.
Still nothing. Not even a head movement.
Luke stood up and tried to lift Shelby with him when she shoved him away, aggressively. He was taken aback by the outburst. Shelby had never done that to him.
Lorelai had flinched out of the way as well, pulling away.
Shelby glanced up, realizing what she had done, and stared at the grass again. More tears appeared, this time falling down her face.
"Come on, Shell," Luke tried one more time, still getting over the shock. This time, Shelby willingly stood up on her own but placed her hat back on her head. He shared one last look with Lorelai as they walked away.