"She is made up for depths even the ocean couldn't fathom." --Jessica Katoff
~~~
"Hey Annie," I greet with eyes glowing and my usual smirk.
A couple of Capitol workers walk down the hall of the train. Annie watches them warily as they pass by. Then she pulls me into her room and closes the door. She turns back to me with one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen her wear.
"Finn what are you doing here? I thought you said you can't come," Annie asks.
I feign hurt as I put my hand to my chest. "Did you not want me here? I can go if you really want me to."
I begin to turn around, and Annie tugs me back. She laughs and slaps my arm playfully. "Stop it! You know I want you here. So how did you do it?"
My smile wavers a bit, but Annie is too happy to notice. "I asked the Capitol if I could come, and they said yes."
"Just like that?" Annie asks curiously. It wasn't like the Capitol to go back on what they said before. "President Snow was okay with that?"
I shrug my shoulders to appear nonchalant. "I actually got special permission from the man himself," I tell her. I begin walking around the room to hide the fear gripping my chest.
I was second guessing my decision to come along on the trip up until I saw Annie's reaction. The moment I saw how happy I made her, all of my doubts went away. I decided to push the deal I made with Snow aside and just enjoy my time with Annie. After all I'm here for her.
"So I'm all yours for the rest of the tour. Try not to get too annoyed," I joke as I sprawl out on Annie's bed. She laughs at my ridiculous pose and throws a pillow at my face. It falls into my lap, revealing my disgruntled expression.
"I don't think that'll be a problem," she says.
The rest of the tour goes by smoothly. Annie no longer looks as nervous as she did that first day in District 7. She's able to sleep at night and acts more like herself. We go on the tours around the districts together. Then I'm always in the crowd to help Annie in case she stumbles. One night we worked together to write a new speech that actually came from the heart. Not one of the ready made condescending speeches the Capitol provided. We happily burned it in the fireplace. It made great firewood.
Every night the two of us attended the banquets and parties together. We danced and laughed through the entire night. I didn't think it was possible on a Victory Tour, but I was actually enjoying myself.
"Thanks Finn," Annie tells me gratefully. She sits down on the couch next to me, and I turn off the tv where I was flipping through the channels. I can still see the bright colors of the Capitol clothing each time I blink.
"For what? As much as I wish I gave you those that wasn't me," I say referring to the bouquet of flowers in her hands. An Avox comes by and snatches it from her with a polite smile.
"I know. You're not thoughtful enough," she jokes.
I shoot up from my spot lounging on the couch. "Hey!" I shout in indignation. "I am thoughtful!"
"I know, I know! Calm down," Annie laughs as she ruffles my hair from behind and grabs a cupcake from the array of food on the table. The two of us were hanging out in the dining cart, our favorite on the train.
"That's why I'm saying thank you," she says as she hands me a piece of cake. "You came all this way just to be with me. I couldn't have gotten through this tour without you. Now all we have is the Capitol and then we can go back home."
I nod my head in agreement and smile, but it's all I can do to conceal the anxiety that's making it hard to breathe. I knew that the tour would end in the Capitol. It's inevitable, but it doesn't make anything easier. I hate that place. I'm scared of it. All of the bright colors and cheery voices are just masquerades for the dark secrets lurking in every corner. Just to shine a light on the situation I like to think I know more than even the president.
"I'm going to turn in. We have an early start tomorrow," I tell Annie.
"Okay sleep tight," Annie says. She watches me closely, but I make sure to hide any hints of anxiety. She can't know.
I give her a quick hug and leave to go to my room. A little later I hear a knock at my door. Thinking it's Annie I don't say anything. She'll think I'm asleep and leave. However the person knocks again and opens the door. I stand in protest and am just about to shove the person out when I see that it's Mags. I should've figured. She's the only person who knows that I don't lock the door. Unlike most people I feel like I'm in even more danger if it is. I have this belief that I won't be able to unlock it fast enough to escape whatever danger might come from inside.
I scoot to the side so that Mags can sit next to me on the bed. "What are you doing here?" I ask her.
She studies me with knowing eyes. "How are you?" she asks. It's amazing how well she knows me. Mags never asks that question unless she suspects something is wrong.
"Fine," I answer curtly.
I hear Mags scoff in disbelief. "Then why did you leave Annie out there and it's barely nine?"
I sigh. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I could get away with lying to Mags. She always sees right through me. I don't answer, but then again I never have to.
Mags pulls me into her, and I lean my head against her shoulder. "You did this for Annie right?"
I nod.
"And you made her happy. Do you regret that?"
I shake my head no. I'd do anything to make Annie happy in a second, no questions asked.
"Then whenever you feel down while you're there remember Annie and how much you're helping her. Okay?"
"Okay thanks Mags," I tell her gratefully. I give her a hug and she bids me goodnight.
What Mags told me really helped, but I'm still not calm enough to go to sleep. Instead I switch between pacing back and forth and tying knots with my sheets the whole night. I have the sudden urge to run, but there isn't anywhere to go. Not when you're on a train with only one destination.
When the morning light begins to filter through the windows of my room, I decide to get something to eat. I sit up from bed and go to wash my face. I look up in the mirror and have to force myself to not take a step back. I look terrible, sort of like a zombie. The people at the Capitol will be in uproar if they see me like this I think drily.
My hair was standing in tufts all over my head. Dark circles were evidence of my sleepless night, and my face drooped like the life was slowly draining from it. I splash some more cold water on my face and hoped that it will help wash the fatigue away.
When I walk into the dining cart I see that Annie is already there. She's eating waffles while talking to Mags. For a second I stop by the door and just watch them. It's a great sight seeing Annie talking comfortably with someone who is pretty much my mom. I can tell Mags really likes her too.
My stomach rumbles loudly, alerting the two girls to my presence.
"Morning," I greet as I move to get some food. Annie tilts her head to the side and looks at me long enough that I start to feel self conscious, meaning it was quite a long time. "What's wrong?" I ask feeling around my face. Did I miss some soap?
"You look terrible," Annie says with a shrug of her shoulders as she continues eating.
I'm a little offended but laugh anyway. It wasn't every day Annie was herself, and considering we were hours from the Capitol, it was pretty much a miracle. In fact she seemed to be handling things better than me.
"You look pretty terrible yourself," I say with a smirk.
Annie raises her eyebrows and stares me down. I copy her until she breaks eye contact with a slight blush. "Touché," she replies, and I lean back smugly. Mags laughs as she watches the two of us in amusement.
However the happy mood was ruined when Renee comes in with her usual bad timing. She has a wide, plastic smile as she greets everyone. I honestly can't stand that girl with her giant head balancing on a stick of a neck.
"We're almost at the Capitol! Oh how I have missed it! These common people can be a sore sight," she complains. I crack my knuckles under the table to alleviate the urge to punch the smile off her face. "Anyway Annie hurry and get ready. It's going to be a busy couple days."
Annie doesn't say a word but just nods her head looking forlorn. She finishes her breakfast and gives everyone a halfhearted smile before leaving to her prep team. I continue eating my breakfast in silence as I do my best to block Renee out. Then Parsha enters, making the task twice as hard. Eventually I can't stand to hear their high pitched voices talking about how horrifically haggard the people in the last district looked.
I glance at Mags and even she looks like she's having trouble keeping herself composed. She's sitting stiffly in her chair and eating her food methodically.
"I'm done," I mumble. I throw my napkin on the table and scoot back in my chair. It makes a scraping noise on the floor, and both Renee and Parsha stop their conversation to give me disapproving looks. I just roll my eyes.
I decide to go look for Annie even though she may not be done getting ready. Her prep team will probably let me stay in the room while they fix her hair and apply makeup. They seem pretty fond of me.
However I don't see her in the dressing room. I step back out and walk the length of the train looking for her. When I arrive at the back, I see a girl staring out the full wall window. I walk over and the glass door slides open with a quiet hiss.
Annie doesn't turn around, and I'm worried that she's zoning out again. She hadn't in a couple of days but we were nearing the Capitol. Who knows what was going through her mind.
"Hey Annie," I greet.
"Hey Finn," Annie sighs without turning around. "I thought you were Renee."
"No she's having quite the conversation with Parsha," I say sarcastically. "So what are you up to?"
I take a seat next to Annie on the velvet cushion. She doesn't look my way. She just keeps her eyes on the blurred colors. "Just thinking."
I could read Annie easily. I could tell how worried she is about what will happen in the Capitol. She'd been holding together nicely, but the Capitol was where all of her nightmares took root. The last time she was there was when she barely made it out of the arena alive. I knew she didn't want to relive all of that. None of us did.
"Hey you'll be fine," I assure her. I place my hand gently on her leg to stop its incessant tapping. She gets fidgety whenever she's nervous.
Annie nods, calming down noticeably. I just wish I could say the same about myself. I just had to hope Mags' advice would work.
Suddenly everything goes dark as we go through a tunnel. After thirty seconds we break though into a world of blinding light and color. We're here. The Capitol.
The door behind us opens and Renee comes rushing through, teetering on her heels. "Come on! Come on! Annie you need to greet the people."
She yanks Annie up from her seat and rushes her to a cart with a balcony on the side. I sigh and follow behind. Time to act for the crowds.
Annie struggles to stay upright as Renee pulls her through the train. She pretty much pushes Annie out the door and on to the balcony. Her hair whips back gracefully from the wind. She stops, staring wide eyed at the vibrant mix of colors that could only be seen at the Capitol.
People were jumping up and down, waving their arms excitedly. I could hear their cheers over the sounds of the wind. I see Annie begin to back away, wanting to go back inside. I immediately step through the glass door and place a comforting hand on her lower back as the crowd's cheering grows louder.
I put on my most stunning smile as I wave at the crowd, playing them as always. I give Annie a little squeeze and, she wakes up from her stupor. She follows my example and puts on a dazzling smile and waves along with me. If I didn't know any better I would think she's thrilled to be here.