Riannon's POV
I stood still, I didn't realise I had dug my nails hard into my palm and I stared blankly at my hands which had deep red marks on the surface. I was numb as I felt Jackson's words and their kiss repeat in my head over and over again,my eyes glazing over. I slowly walked away, my heart pounding loudly, but everything else didn't seem to be working. I heard the thunder rolling and a few drops of rain started dripping down, but I was too stunned to care.
I was still trying to grasp onto everything that happened in the last few minutes,still trying to wipe that image out of my memory, still trying my best to digest the piece of information, running the words in my head again..as though it would sound or make any difference if I kept repeating it..but bottomline is...Jackson is engaged...the words itself felt bitter on my mouth. I choked on a sob as I held myself back from crying. I walked only a few steps when I felt someone put their hands on my shoulder.
'Riannon. How come you're here??' Yugyeom's worried voice brought me out of my dazed state.
'Why Yugyeom?' My voice broke as I glanced up at him, tears forming at the corner of my eyes. 'You texted me for this?'
Yugyeom look confused at my words. 'What text?'
'You're the one who sent me the damn text!! I didn't need to be here.. I know I could have heard the news eventually but making me watch it with my own eyes?? You just had to call me here???' I was trying to keep it low but failing miserably.
'What are you talking about ??!'
'You tell me! You're the one who asked me to come here!' I snapped at him.
'Wait Wha-what?' Yugyeom looked shocked as he stared at me. 'Riannon please believe me. I would never do such a thing. I lost my phone this morning. I tried searching for it everywhere after I got back home from our jogging but I couldn't find it anywhere! I think I know who took it..please believe me.. come with me.. we need to talk and somewhere else away from here preferably.' He spoke hurriedly as he took my hand,walking towards the pathway,away from the gathering.
I pried my hands from his grip, my mind in shambles as I turned away from him. 'Please..Yugyeom, just leave me alone,' I spoke softly, trying to keep my voice stable as I refrained myself from breaking into pieces right there.
'Riannon please..' He begged as he took a step towards me but I didn't want to hear anything else as I ran away from him. Just as I did,the clouds opened up and it started pouring heavily, the roaring thunder accompanying the flashes of lightning. At that point I didn't care anymore as the rain beat down my body, washing my tears as they spilled over, my cries muffled by the sound of the thunder. I could hear Yugyeom's distant voice calling out but I was already too far away from him and I wasn't going to turn back.
I ran till I couldn't breathe anymore, my chest aching and my heart palpitating against my ribs. I spotted a bench and sat down, my eyes lifting up to the skies, as I let out a painful cry.
Why Jackson? Why did you make me fall so hard only for you to hurt me like this? Why did I even let myself fall for you? Why? I should've known better.. I should've known better...
I was shivering by then but I couldn't seem to find the strength to get up and head home. I just wanted to sit there and let the rain wash away all my sadness and all the pain. I burrowed my face in my hands as I let it all sink in, sobs still wracking my body.
I was trying to pull myself together when I felt the raindrops stop hitting my body and someone's presence in front of me. Confused, I looked up to find Jinyoung holding an umbrella, his hair and a bit of his clothes also wet from the heavy downpour. His eyes were blotched red and he suddenly bent down and pulled me into his arms,hugging me.
'Do you know how worried I was about you? When Yugyeom called, I left the meeting immediately and came searching for you. I was so so scared.. ' his voice barely a whisper against the sounds of the wind and rain. 'Please don't do that ever again.'
He looked at me, waiting for my answer. I only nodded as I stared at him, feeling guilty for worrying the both of them. He had a warm smile on his face, despite the fact that his features plainly showed that he had been crying as well. He took off his coat and draped it around me. 'Let's go home,' he said as he pulled me closer under the umbrella, leading me towards his car.
As we got inside, he turned on the warmth after making sure I had no injuries before he drove off towards my place. Throughout the ride, I remained quiet, still too numb to form any comprehensible words. My thoughts were jumbled and I'm sure I needed to sleep it off before I could talk to anybody again. Time, I kept telling myself, that's all I needed.
We reached home in half an hour,the sky still not letting up, but probably taking a course for the worse as the harsh winds howled and hailstones were pelted against the windows. When we entered the apartment, I moved to switch on the lights but even the powerlines were cut off. So I went to get the candles from the kitchen and Jinyoung helped to light them while I searched my closet for warm clothes for the both of us.
'Here. These aren't much but I think they might fit you.' I said quietly as I handed him the clothes I ordered a few months ago which were too oversized for my tiny frame. He had a thoughtful glint in his eyes and I was about to leave for the bathroom when he pulled me back, wrapping me in his arms. I tried to back away since I was fully soaked,not wanting to get water on his expensive attire but he only held on to me even tighter.
'Riannon, I can't even begin to explain to you how scared I was earlier. I don't want anything bad to ever happen to you.' He spoke as he ran his fingers through my wet hair, the action making me nervous as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
'I'm okay Jinyoung. You don't need to worry at all,' I replied back in a shaky voice.
'But I do. All the time. Riannon,' He looked at me, determination burning in his intense gaze, 'I can't help the feelings I have for you.' My eyes shot wide open as I heard these words.
'I.. you know I can't. You are an amazing person but I'm.. well.. I'm just really screwed up right now,' I said weakly as I tried to look anywhere else but him.
'I know. And I also know this is so wrong but I can't help myself from being selfish just this once. I can't help myself from wanting something I've been waiting all my life for.' He lifted my chin up, his lips drawing nearer, I was so clouded by pain and hurt that I didn't know how to react, but I did know that I didn't want to break Jinyoung's heart nor drag him into something which would only end in more devastating consequences.
'Jinyoung..no.. I don't wanna hurt you.. you can't-' whatever I was going to say was caught in my throat as he silenced me with a kiss. He pulled back slightly, only to whisper against my lips, 'I understand.. but I'm already in love with you Riannon, If it hurts, let it. I did it to myself.' He bent down and softly placed his lips on me again,his hands encircling my hips as I let my body melt to his touch.
I couldn't comprehend what was happening, my heart broken and my mind,a total chaos. I thought I was doing better but something or the other always took me back right to square one. I was so lost, and I didn't even know how to find my way back again. I didn't understand anything anymore but I just let the moment happen..
As I kissed him back, a single tear trickled down my cheek, my broken heart crying out in agony.
Why ..Why does it always have to hurt?
Author's note: Took me quite a long time to write this between my busy schedule but I hope you like it. Do leave your comments. ❤
PS: Monsta x's new song is so good! And did anyone see their teaser for 'Beautiful- japanese version'? They're killing it! And not to mention me as well.
Your daily gifs.. since it's a double update, double the Jaebum. ;)