Chapter 11
I woke up to the sound of car engine. My eyes opened and the first thing I saw were the clouds and the sky. I felt myself lying down on a shaking flat ground. Then I realised I was back on the Pickup boot again.
My eyes looked down to see a hand holding my wrist and their thumb rubbing the back of my wrist. The hand had a ring on it and I knew who it was.
I glanced at Hamid who was sitting against the body of the Pickup boot and silently staring at the road while the Pickup drove. I shut my eyes lazily and shifted my head back up. I sighed a little and opened my eyes halfway.
"Hamid." I called him as I stared at the sky.
He removed his hand from my wrist immediately and stood up a little to look at me.
"Are you awake?" He asked.
"No I'm in dreamland." I replied in a lazy sarcastic tone.
I sat up immediately and held my hands to my banging head.
"Are you okay?" Hamid asked.
"Please can we stop the car and come down. This is so uncomfortable." I complained at the movement of the car affecting my head.
Hamid quickly talked to the soldiers inside the car and turned back not long after.
"They will stop at the end of the road so that we can find somewhere to sit." He said.
I shut my eyes in frustration. "I want to go home."
"You can't go home in this condition, especially after fainting." He said. "Do you want to make your grandmother worried?"
I didn't respond but just looked at him. "How long was I passed out for?"
"Ten minutes." He said
"Only ten minutes?" My eyes widened. I expected something like two hours.
"Yes. I am surprised to see you're already awake before we get to the hospital." He said the moment the car came to a stop. "Even though we aren't going there anymore."
We stopped near a small shop that sold provisions on the street. Hamid opened the back and came down and brought out his hand to help me come down, but as usual, I didn't take it and just came down by myself.
He told me to wait under the tree that was in front of the shop and entered the shop. He returned with a small boy who was carrying a long bench for us. He dropped the bench under the tree and Hamid and I sat on it. I still held my head and rested my back on the tree.
Hamid looked at me before he put his hand into his pocket and brought out a blister pack of panadol tablets.
"Here take." He said while handing it to me, "I use this medicine when I'm having headache."
"Who doesn't." I muttered.
He chuckled. "Yes I know everybody does."
I looked at him and waited for him. He looked back confused on why I was looking at him.
"Water." I said.
"Oh." He looked around a bit confused and looked back at me, "you don't need water. I often chew mine."
I sneered at him, "you're disgusting."
"I'm an expert you mean." He smiled teasingly before standing up to go inside the shop. Then he returned with a cold pure water in his hand.
"Here." He handed it to me. I cut the body with my teeth and drank it before taking the tablet together with it.
Once I was done, I sighed and put the pure water on my lap and tried to let my head rest for a little while.
Hamid and I didn't say anything for a few minutes, but just sat there in silence. This wasn't the typical Hamid. He was often the silence breaker.
I turned to look at him looking into space. My eyes caught below his right eye and it was swollen a little. Probably from that man's punch.
"Are you okay?" I asked stretching my hands to touch the swollen spot.
He moved his face away immediately he noticed my hand coming to his bottom right eye. He turned to me with a smile and nodded.
"You don't look so good." I said. For the first time I was the one who was curious about Hamid's action.
"I was just thinking about today." He said, "That's all."
"What of the boy on fire," I asked, "is he okay?"
Hamid remained silent as he looked away. He clenched his jaw before he said, "He's dead."
I looked away and sighed in disappointment. Even though I saw it coming, it was just very sad for the boy to just die for a simple stealing.
"I know I'm a horrible soldier." Hamid added, "I don't know how to get my job right."
"You're not horrible..." I trailed off and looked at him, "you're just learning small."
"That was very helpful." He said sarcastically.
I chuckled and looked away before my face turned to a frown from my second thought.
"I don't know why I thought he was Mama. My sister." I said, "this hasn't happened before."
"When someone close to you dies, everything around you reminds you of them." He said.
"No this one is different." I shook my head, "it just happened like she came back to life."
"Did you ever think of her lately?" He asked.
"Something like that."
"I think that's why." He said, "It happened to me not long after my grandmother died. I thought she was the one during my graduation but she wasn't and I made a huge scene that day."
He chuckled and shook his head, "It often happens to people especially when they've lost someone they love very very much." He looked at me, "Maybe you should try not to think about Mama."
I nodded, not having anything to say about it.
"Let's change topic." He scoffed, "so what are you doing this weekend?"
I sighed and stretched my arms, "Going for a wedding. My grandmother is the chef for the wedding so."
"Wait. Is it one Joseph and I think... Zita?" He asked slowly, while trying to recall.
"Yes." I looked at him, "You're going too?"
"Actually, General was invited," He said and smiled, "but I can come since you're going."
"I'm going to be really busy serving. We won't have much time to talk." I scoffed.
"Don't mind." He shrugged, "as long as I have something to do since I don't work during the weekends."
I nodded my head slowly. I wish I hadn't said anything in the first place.
"Before I forget." He reached out for his shirt pocket and brought out the small Nokia phone he gave me earlier. "You dropped this when you fainted."
I gaped and collected the phone immediately. "Sorry I didn't know it will fall. Thank you."
"Why did you faint?" He asked.
"I didn't choose to obviously." I responded and looked away, "I guess it was just my migraine."
"You have migraine?" He asked in surprise.
"Yes. It started since my sister died." I said, "but it only happens once in a blue moon."
"Your sister's death really affected you in so many ways."
"You don't even understand." I shook my head.
"But why don't you really talk about your parents own?"
"Actually... I miss them. I really do." I inhaled, "But I just didn't really know them. They were my parents but our relationship wasn't there. We didn't really communicate like most families do."
He nodded his head slowly and looked away. It looked like he wanted to say something but he just kept shut, which made me relieved.
Silence was about to fall when something came to my head. Something that kept bothering me about that beggar boy that got burnt.
"About the boy..." I said, "Don't you think those men went too far? Like why would they do jungle justice to a child just because he stole."
Hamid turned to look at me with furrowed eyebrows, "Steal?"
"Mhmm." I nodded, "isn't that why they did that to him."
He stared at me and chuckled, thinking this was a joke. "So you think they burnt him because he stole?"
I nodded. "Wasn't that the reason?"
"No not this time. Today is different." He said, "They burnt him because they saw him pointing a knife to a child and suspected he could be part of the children killers."
"But..." I paused and shook my head, "It doesn't matter. Why would they think a small boy like him will be part of the children killers."
"You know everyone is ready to react now. Especially those who have lost their children." He said, "It doesn't matter how old you are. People are prepared to revenge anytime anywhere- Especially for their children."
"But do you think he is part of the children killers?" I asked.
"I don't think so." He shook his head, "To me I think he is innocent. Those men kind of went too far. They could have brought him to the police station instead."
"Yes." I agreed, "so unfair of them."
"Don't worry we're going to mark their faces and arrest every single one of them," He said, "and deal with them times two."
"Please do." I said.
He chuckled and remained silent. I sat there in silence as well and silence broke in for the hundredth time.
"Mariam?" He called me.
"Mhmm?" I turned to look at him.
"Remember, it could be anybody." He looked at me, "Old or young, it doesn't matter because the secret killers are unknown. Understand?"
"I understand." I nodded in curiosity. "It could be anybody."
*****
It was already a day to Zita and Joseph's wedding and I still didn't have a proper clothe to wear. Ever since Hamid said he was going, I was curious on what I was going to wear.
No aso ebi was given to me and most of my traditional wears for church wasn't proper enough for a wedding. My hair was a mess and I couldn't keep going about with my short loosened hair. I had no make up. Nothing.
This was one problem with being a girl- having to dress up.
I called Zainab with the phone Hamid gave me and asked her to come over and help me with the situation.
While on the phone with her, my nosey self asked if she knew about Idris joining the army and she said yes. She was so pissed off that he joined the army and the only question that came to her head was 'does he want to die?'. I told her she was even lucky that he didn't get posted to another town or else the situation would have been much worse, especially if it was in Borno.
After an hour of waiting, Zainab arrived and the first thing she did was scatter my wardrobe by bringing out all the clothes.
"You're right." She shook her head after looking through all the clothes she scattered on my bed, "you really lack fashion sense."
"I didn't say that." I argued, "I said I lack wedding fashion sense."
"Same thing." She muttered and said, "Just use any dress, nobody cares."
"But I just want to look presentable for once."
"You want to impress that mr soldier baa?" She smirked and folded her arms.
"No." I denied.
"But he's still going for the wedding abi?" She raised her brows with the same expression.
"Yes." I mumbled.
She walked closer with the same smirk, "You see."
"I don't have energy for you." I mumbled again.
She touched my scattered loosened hair and said, "what are you even going to do about this your short hair that has been flying around."
"I know." I grumbled and removed her hand from my hair, "I don't normally make or fix my hair."
"Are you deeper life?" She scoffed, referring to one of the non-Catholic churches in Mansur, "Just go to the salon by the main road and tell them to make a nice hairstyle for you."
"You know I don't know how to pick good hairstyles." I whined.
"Stop whining. You can just do attachment." She said, "maybe big braids or medium ones."
"Will it fit me?" I looked at her.
"Attachment fits everybody." She said, "That's why it's the most common hairstyle. You can even style it anyway you like... pack it up, bring it down, do side parting or even middle parting."
I nodded my head slowly. "Maybe I will do it."
"It's not maybe." She shook her head, "go and do it now because later you'll have to come back and help kaka cook for the wedding."
"I forgot." I sighed.
There was so much to do today since the wedding is tomorrow. But looking good is what comes first.
I looked at Zainab before I asked, "Do you know where I can make my hair?"
*****
As directed by Zainab, I walked to the salon that was just along the main road. I stood in front of the pink bungalow building that had 'Agnes Beauty Salon' written once I got there.
I sighed before walking to the door and pushing it open. The salon was quite small but had everything necessary like two hood hair dryers, three mirror table and seats, a sink and chair at the corner for washing hair and waiting seats.
There were three women who were busy working with customers. One was washing a small girl's hair by the sink, another was fixing weave on an older woman's hair and one was standing at the side, receiving cash from another customer that just finished her hair.
"Welcome." The woman standing said once she was done counting the money, while the finished customer walked pass me to leave the salon.
I smiled at her before she walked up to me and touched my hair.
"What hair do you want to make?" She asked, still touching my hair and making it more scattered.
"Attachment." I said, "medium braids."
She nodded, "come and sit."
She led me to seat on the middle mirror seat and I sat on it as she walked away to get some packs of attachment from the side. I smiled at the older woman who sat next to me with her weave halfway done and she smiled back.
The woman making my hair returned with two big packs of expression black hair and dropped it on the mirror table in front of me.
"Are you washing your hair?" She asked while she opened the first pack.
"No." I shook my head.
From there, we were set to go all through the process of making the attachment.
After 5 hours of sitting and listening to the salon women's gossip of someone called 'Ajayi the toaster' 'Mama Tutu who slept with someone's son' 'Kevin from Big brother Africa' and other names I can't remember, we were practically done with the hair. The woman left my side as I looked at the mirror closer and touched the medium braids on my hair. The hair was a bit smaller than medium braids and it reached directly below my shoulders. I stared at myself and was amused at how really different I look with the new hair.
The woman returned with a small towel and placed it around the back of my shoulders. As she was bringing a big bowl with hot water close to me, a woman entered the salon and the workers looked at her.
"Oyinbo baby you're here." My hairstylist grinned at the woman as she put the hot water below the tips of my braids all together while the other workers also greeted her, "What do you want to do with your hair?"
"Oyinbo baby?" I whispered and scoffed to myself. Who gives such names.
"Yes oo." She said before raising her nilon bag, "I want to fix this weave again."
I turned to look at Oyinbo baby and froze when I saw her. It was Miss Rosey.
I turned my face away immediately and gaped. What do I do? If she sees me, I'm dead. After what Kauna and I did at her house the other day.
I covered my face with my hand and glanced at her through the mirror. She had a big brown bandage on her left eye. I feel so guilty for letting Kauna shoot her with that sling shot.
"Come and sit here." My hairstylist told miss Rosey as she pointed to the sit beside me.
This is the end. Covering my face won't help the matter now. I quickly removed the towel from my shoulders and put it over my face. I could tell that my hairstylist was very confused but she didn't say anything yet.
"You need to put the towel back on your shoulders so that the water won't touch you." She finally said while burning the tips of my braids with the hot water. But I didn't respond.
I felt a chair pull beside me before miss Rosey sat on it. I looked through the bottom of the towel to open my purse bag. I kept moving and the bowl with hot water behind me kept shaking. But I didn't care.
The price of the hair was 800 naira but I removed 1000 naira from my bag and dropped it on the table in front of me. I stood up immediately and my hairstylist moved back with the bowl in shock.
I moved away from her side with the small towel still covering my face, so that miss Rosey won't recognize my face. The hot water kept pouring from the tips of my hair and it was burning my back but this was not the right time to care. It's either I die or suffer.
"I'm not done with the hair." My hairstylist said.
I shook my head and pointed to the money on the table although I couldn't see it. I started moving closer to the door and kept hitting whatever was in front of me because I couldn't see through the towel.
"You won't wait for your change?" My hairstylist asked.
I turned and shook my head before I quickly headed for the door.
"Bye bye." The salon women said but I waved my hand back at them without looking.
Once I stepped outside the door, I quickly removed the towel from my face and hung it on the door handle without turning to look inside the salon.
After I dropped it, I ran into the road without looking back. I was not ready to have my funeral already.
*****
It was already night when kaka and I were done with all the work and cooking for the wedding. Earlier, when we were cooking, I kept complaining to her about how I didn't have something reasonable to wear for the wedding. She made it look like it was not a big deal until later, she told me to come to her room when we finish cooking.
The work was already over and I was knocking on kaka's door at the moment before I walked into her room.
"You said I should see you." I told her once I shut the door behind me.
She gestured for me to sit on her bed while she was bending over and getting something from her box. I silently walked in and sat at the end of her bed.
She stood up and held up a pink dress. She stared at it with so much enthusiasm before turning to give me the dress.
"You must be joking." I scoffed, "you want me to wear one of your dresses for the wedding?"
She shook her head and dumped the dress on me before sitting down at my side. It was so weird that Kaka wanted me to wear one of her dresses. I know that I was quite big but I doubt any of her dresses will size me. Except if this pink dress is one she wore when she was really young, because it even looked like it would be small for Kaka now.
I raised the dress to stare at it as kaka reached out for her pad. It was an 80s-looking pink lace and satin ankle dress. (Picture above) The dress smelt like something that had been stored for ages and I knew I had to wash the moment I leave this room.
It was still a really pretty anyways, but not for our generation.
After kaka wrote on her pad, she handed it to me.
'It's my wedding dress.' She wrote.
"That's even worse." I blurted, "why do you want me to wear your wedding dress? Wait. How can your wedding dress be pink?"
She doesn't respond but goes to reach for something in her bedside drawer. After a little while of searching, she brought out a small blue photoalbum and flipped the pages. Once she got to the page she was looking for, she brought the book to my side.
I moved closer to look at the picture. It was a an old looking greyish colored picture of Kaka and my grandfather on their wedding day. She was actually wearing the pink dress with a matching wedding veil and held a flower bouquet in her hand. She stood side by side with her husband who wore a black suit and they both weren't smiling at the camera.
"Did they force you two to get married?" I asked.
She chuckled, one without a sound, and shook her head in response. I continued looking at the picture and noticed something about Kaka in it. Although she was really young, she looked quite big in the wedding dress. I mean not too big but being skinny was the in thing then.
"You were quite fat when you were getting married." I scoffed.
Kaka nodded and wrote on her pad, 'because I was pregnant'
In shock I turned to look at her, "Why? What happened?"
Kaka wrote on her pad for a little while as I waited silently before she handed it back to me.
'I got pregnant for your grandfather before we married. We did it because we were in love.'
I laughed at the last line. "That means every girl should be pregnant before they get married then."
Kaka shook her head and hit my arm before she wrote on her pad again.
'My parents didn't want us to marry. They brought another man for me because in those days, most girls didn't marry a man out of their own will.'
"Must have been a tough one for you two." I said as kaka was writing on another page.
"Your grandfather decided to come up with the plan of having a baby and with that, our parents couldn't stop us anymore.' She wrote.
"You two were sly." I chuckled and looked back at the picture. "Then what about the pink? Why did you wear a pink gown instead of a white one? Or you changed twice?"
Kaka shook her head before she turned to write on her pad.
'Women who weren't virgins were not entitled to a white wedding gown.'
"Wow." I said, "It must have been embarrassing."
'It was a disgrace to see a bride without a white wedding dress. The most important thing to young women then was virginity.' She wrote.
"At least," I said, "what really matters is that you got married to him."
She smiled in response and nodded her head. I looked at the picture and wondered how my mother felt when she realized she was the reason for my grandparents marriage.
"How many months pregnant were you here?" I asked.
She rose her hands to 'five'. I nodded in response. I see why her stomach wasn't that big in the picture.
"It was my mummy in the womb right?" I smiled while staring at the picture.
Kaka shook her head. I looked at her in confusion once she started writing in the pad.
'It was a boy. He was stillborn.' She wrote.
I covered my mouth and stared at kaka with so much regret. After everything my grandparents went through to get married, they lost their first child. I lost an uncle. I just missed out an important person in my life. I would have had an uncle who would have been there for me unlike my father's two sisters.
I looked away and mumbled, "I'm surprised my mother never told me about my dead uncle."
Kaka wrote on her pad, probably hearing what I just said before she handed it to me.
'She would have told you by now if she was alive.'
I nodded slowly. It was possible she could have.
"Did you have any other child apart from mummy?" I asked.
'I wish. After giving birth to your mother, I was not able to have another child again.' She wrote.
"I wish you did." I mumbled and looked away. "I wouldn't have been in this situation if you did."
Kaka wrapped her hands around me when she noticed how unhappy I was. She knew how bad I wanted to live with my Aunts. She knew how I had struggled to live on my own in Kaduna after my parents and Mama had passed away. Maybe if my mother had siblings, my life would have been ten times easier by now.
One thing I'm grateful to Kaka the most for, was that she never blamed me for what happened to Mama. Never.
Kaka removed her hands from me and went to write on her pad before she handed it to me.
'Stop all the sad play now. You know how much I don't like sadness.'
I chuckled and nodded at what she wrote before wiping off the one tear that was already coming down my face.
'So are you still going to wear the dress?' She wrote.
"I'll think about it." I said, "but I will carry it just in case."
She nodded before moving closer to her bedside drawer to search for something. After she was done, she brought out a black bodied lipstick and handed it to me. I took it and looked at her in confusion then she went for her pad.
'Just in case you wear the dress, use this lipstick.' She wrote.
"You know I don't really like make up." I said.
She went for her pad again while I opened the lipstick cover. It was a medium red lipstick. Something that fitted my skin tone more than kaka, who was slightly fairer than me.
'It will fit you. If you use it, you'll look just like me on my wedding day.' She wrote.
"Don't worry about it." I scoffed and brought out the lipstick to her, "I may not even wear the dress."
Kaka looked down at the lipstick in my hand and picked it up before placing it back inside my palm. She bent my fingers and covered the lipstick on my palm before she patted my covered hand.
She went for her pad and wrote on it quickly before she gave it to me.
'It's your own now. You never know when you need it.' She wrote
I nodded and smiled, "Thank you."
She rose her hand and signalled 'I love you'. That was the only sign language she had managed to learn from a movie.
"I love you too." I said and moved to hug her.
She hugged me back in response. And I hugged her tighter.
"Thank you for being the only family I have." I whispered. Whether she heard it or not, it didn't matter. As long as she knew this was the truth.
_________________
END OF CHAPTER 11