April 4
The air conditioner blows directly into my face,
and I stand behind a tall man with his back faced towards me.
An apathetic and uncaring expression settles on my features
with my arms crossed.
I seemed intimidating, [ especially to the 13 year old boys who stand in a group
behind me, whispering their orders and I can feel their stares boring
into my back make them s t o p ] but who was I kidding?
In my shoes and oversized, worn out blue jacket,
I was actually trembling in fear.
Would I stutter? Would the cashier laugh at me? Would they
ask me to repeat the order twice just to hear my voice shake?
Finally, it was my turn to order.
In a cold voice, I ordered what I wanted with the cashier looking slightly
miffed, as if insulted that I was so cold.
One part of me thought; "Fuck you."
While most of me cried "Sorry," and apologized silently for how pathetic and useless I was.
When I recieved my food, I finally offered a small smile
to the cashier in slight apology.
And I went off.