In one lifetime you will love many times but one love will burn your soul forever
- Cecelia Ahern
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Chapter 65
Third Person POV
"GOAL!!!" The commentator announced in a high pitch voice, nudging the arm of his another co-commentator who's mouth is hang open after witnessing the incredible yet so smooth move of the green eyed girl who's wearing number 14 jersey, playing as forward for FC Barcelona. "And another spectacular goal from Jauregui, setting the score to 5-0 in favor of Barça." The commentator added, still feeling the hyped of the game.
Out in the field, a very loud roar coming from the fans of both teams echoed around. All people are rooting for her. In fact, all of them came just to watch her dust off her opponents because of her breathtaking abilities and a record-breaking list of achievements unlikely to be surpassed by anyone in the near future. With Barcelona, the green eyed girl lifted eleven league titles, seven champions league trophies and six Ballon d'Or awards (consecutive), and became the highest La Liga scorer of all time with an astonishing 456 goals in her 3 years of being a professional soccer player.
Lauren Michelle Jauregui— the name that rolled off everyone's tongue when she lift up the 2027 world cup at the age of 25 years old, next to the legendary Pelé who held the 1985 World Cup at the age of 17. Lauren also picked up the Golden Ball at the 2028 world cup. The green eyed girl was known to be one of the best of the best players in the century. The Mozart of Soccer. The legendary 14. Everyone knew her. In fact, even a baby knows her name, that's how famous she is. Her teammates always compared watching her play to having an orgasm. And if people are going to describe her they will always say that the green eyed girl always played smooth, as if Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Zinedine Zidane, and Pelé are playing in one body— in the body of Lauren Jauregui.
Lauren's life is a picture perfect of everything. She already achieved her dreams. She had loads of money. Dozens of girls are chasing and drooling after her. She owns the most expensive car in the world. She owns a million dollar mansion in different states. People are praising her. But despite of having everything the world has to offer, Lauren still somewhat feel incomplete and unhappy. She knew deep down inside, there is one thing missing—
Camila.
The girl she's deeply In love. The girl she always dream to spend the rest of her life with. Camila is Lauren's world, the only air that Lauren needs to breathe to stay alive, her everything. And ever since she left LA 4 years ago to pursue her dreams, nothing in this world can fulfill the void inside Lauren.
Her first year in Arizona wasn't easy. It was very challenging and hard. The training was more intense than Lauren thought it would be. It was a physical torture to woke up at 3 am and rest at 11 pm. And to add in her misery, she felt homesick and depressed. Being away from friends and family are what causes Lauren to have sleepless nights and crying for god knows how long. On top of that, her brain can't stop thinking about Camila. Lauren missed her. God, she missed her so much and their memories together play over and over inside her head
The green eyed girl tried to distract herself, done practically everything to trick her brain. And yet, every night, she lay in her bunk crying and choked up at something welling up against her chest. Every minutes, the pain renewed itself. Lauren can't remember how many times she whispered her burning prayer; in hopes that one day Camila will find her way back to her. That everything will be okay between them. "I will give anything for you to look at me the same way again," And even though Camila couldn't hear her that doesn't stop Lauren from wishing she would come back and save her from the terrible pain she felt without Camila.
But then the pain of longingness and a bit of hope turns into a complete ashes when Lauren saw the news one morning when her and her teammates are having a practice— Camila Cabello dating love guru Matthew Hussey. Their pictures walking hand in hand in public, sharing intimate kisses shattered Lauren's heart like it was made of glass. She tried everything she knew to numb the indescribable pain she's dealing, but it's all useless. Seeing Camila being In love with someone else destroyed her completely that she can't function anymore. Lauren isolated herself from everyone. She locked herself inside her bunk, crying, and drinking. She doesn't sleep, she doesn't eat, causing Lauren to lose tons of weight. She's miserable.
Little by little, with the help of Lucy who decided to stay in Arizona with Lauren, the green eyed girl picked herself back up until she was able to stand on her own two feet once again. Lauren spent the whole year working out, training so hard day and night at the field to pursue her dream— to become a professional soccer player. Indeed, it came true. She's now known to be as one of the greatest players of all time.
"Great job, Jauregui!" Jared, one of Lauren's teammate lift up his hand for a high five which Lauren happily reciprocated.
"Back to you, man! You did a pretty good job!"
With 5 minutes on the shot clock, she knew Sacramento Republic FC can never win this game. Even if a miracle from god happened, it's still impossible for them to win.
***
Lauren's POV
"WELCOME BACK TO LA, LAUREN!!!!"
They all shouted in unison as soon as I swing the door open. My son who's wearing a Barça jersey run towards my direction. I kneel down with the anticipation to feel his warm embrace. Clark launch himself to me and gives me a bone crashing hug.
"Mom!!! I missed you so much!"
I giggled, "We've seen each other last week but I'll just pretend we haven't seen each other for years."
Clark buried his face on the crook of my neck, "I still missed you, mom. It's different to have you home."
"I know. I miss home too."
"Are you going to stay now?"
"Not right now, son. I still have a few games to attend."
I carry him in my arms as I get back on my feet to face my three smiling best friends. Ally who's still pretty much the same; still a teacher. Normani and Dinah who's been married for 3 years now and expecting their first child together. Yep, Normani's pregnant and she's carrying a beautiful baby girl.
The last time I saw them was 4 years ago when they walk me to the airport. The past four years of my life is pretty much intense. When I graduated from training for a year, I spent 3 years playing across the globe. I've been traveling nonstop and training every single day that I have no time to visit my friends back home. And now that the game took place in California, I took advantage of that to stop by and say hello. We have one day here before we fly to Brazil for our game against Juventus FC.
"Long time no see," I grin at them, "I made it."
Dinah walked towards my direction with a grin, "Didn't I told you that if you missed our wedding I'm gonna kill you?"
Before I could react, Dinah tackled me on the ground and started tickling me. Clark joined in and attack my neck causing me to laugh so hard that I can't even breath anymore.
"S-s-stop! P-p-please. I-I surr...ender!" I said in between laugh.
The three of us played like a bunch of children for good long minute before Mani stopped us and escorted us to the living room couch. Clark comfortably sit on my lap.
"How long has it been? 3 years...?"
"4 years." I told matter of factly to Normani.
"That long?" Dinah gasped.
"Yeah, that long. How are you guys?" I asked. A certain name is burning on my tongue that I have to spit it out before I could hurt myself even more, "...how's Camila?"
They raised their eyebrows on me as if they we're expecting me to know every single thing that happened about her throughout the years that I'm away.
Honestly, when I found out that she's dating Matthew Hussey I avoided all stuff related to her because it'll just make me lose my focus on everything. At first it was so fucking hard to do but the more I do it, it slowly became a routine to me and eventually became a natural thing to not care about the stuff regarding Camila. The last news I heard about her is that Camila released her second album already and that's it. I haven't heard any of her new songs yet.
"Stop giving me that look. I'm serious, I really don't know. I'm trying to move on so don't you think it wouldn't be so helpful of me to know everything about her every now and then?"
"And now you want to know because you already moved on from her?" Ally asked.
"Yes." I quickly answered. The girls looked at me, not completely buying it. Touché because even myself don't buy it either.
Clark snapped his head back to me, sadness reflecting on his brown eyes. I pinch his chin gently and beamed a smile to uplift his mood.
"I love you, son."
"I love you too, mom." He gave me a quick kiss before he turns back to what he's doing.
"Well, Mila's been on tour for a year and a half now and—"
Dinah cut Normani off, "And I think it's more better if you ask her that personally because Camila's last leg tour is today."
Before I could even respond, I heard the door flew wide open.
"Surprise!"
I instantly froze in my seat the moment I heard that very familiar voice. My heart beats erratically inside my chest and I couldn't do anything about it but to blink my eyes out a couple of times to stay alive.
"Mommy!"
"Mila!"
Ally, Normani, and Clark walked over to where the brown eyed girl is while Dinah remain seated in her seat, giving me a smug smirk.
"Moved on my butt."
I glare at Dinah with a raised eyebrow. I don't want to look like a sore loser in front of everyone and most especially in front of Camila. I mean, come on! Camila obviously moved on from me. She had a boyfriend and she's happy with her life now. And maybe she's more happier with him and than with me. I've been convincing myself that I already moved on from her. That I'm okay seeing her loving someone else. And for years I believed myself. I believed in that fucking lie I made up that it became so true in my head. And now life threw me back in the same place and I couldn't even look at Camila without confessing how much, after all these years, I'm still desperately In love with her. Jokes on me, all this time I guess.
I turn around so I can see her face. This is the first time I'm gonna see her in person after 4 years. And really, nothing ever changed. She's still beautiful. She still looked the same as I remembered. Her brown eyes, her long curly hair, her petite body, her features that I've always been known by heart. And her smile? Damn, they still get me all the time. They still made me drool, make the heart pops out of my eyes.
"We missed you so much, Mila!" Ally squealed, squeezing the younger brunette against her body. Normani eventually joined in.
"I can say the same thing to you guys!"
Camila who's still unaware of my presence turns to Clark and give our son a tender kiss.
"Oh, hello there! I missed seeing your ugly face, tiger." She giggled. And oh, how my heart made a suicide jump at the adorable sound of it.
"Why are you so annoying, mommy?" Clark complained, causing Camila to laugh.
I watched them be playful with each other without knowing that there's a wide plastered on my lips. I watched our son grow over the years and it only proves that Ally is right— Clark is indeed a carbon copy of Camila. The male version of her. And though it makes me sad to lose the kid who looks exactly like me when he's still a baby, I won't complain at all knowing I lost Camila but I have something left to remember her by— our son.
Camila lift up her gaze towards our direction, "Cheechee—"
Brown met green. And for a moment, Camila was unable to say anything. In back of my head I make believe that I render her speechless. That the air caught up in her throat at the sight of me.
"Lauren," Camila finally uttered my name, breathless.
I smiled timidly, "Hi, Camila. Long time."
"Yeah, long time." There's no smile on her face but rather a really evident of surprise look.
We spent the whole night chatting, trying to catch up for the years that separate us from one another. Ally is dating someone from school. He's name is Giovanni and he's an Italian guy. According to Ally they've been seeing each other for 5 months now and I'm so happy to see my ball of sunshine happy. By the looks of it, she's pretty much deeply In love and it looks like Ally's about to tie a knot as well leaving me and Camila who's not married on the group.
"So, DMac, what are you planning to name your first child?" I asked curiously. Every time parenting and naming the baby stuff I always get so curious and excited for some reason. With Clark, well, he came into my life as Clark. I didn't get to pick a name or choose between two names given which I will always regret missing out.
Wide smile plastered on Dinah and Normani's faces, "We already picked one— Samantha Denise."
I nod my head lowly, "Fine." It was a great name but I know Dinah's the one who came up with it so I decided to teased her.
"Fine?! That's all you gotta say, Lauren Jauregui?!"
I giggled, "Okay, generic."
Dinah rolled her eyes and we all laugh, "You can't even come up with a beautiful name."
"Excuse you! I will give my child a beautiful name!"
"Oh yeah? Like what?" Dinah crossed her arms against her chest with a playful look on her face, "Karla Michelle?"
The smile on my face dropped as Camila and I make eye contact with each other. I'm the first one to look away and chuckled acting as if it didn't affect me at all.
The conversation goes on and the girls didn't seem to notice the tension rising between Camila and I.
"Just take a look at Clark." Normani giggled while pointing the brown eyed boy using her lips.
"Whoah, wait a minute. Why did I get dragged in this fight again? Me naming Clark is the best name I came up with and I am proud of that!"
"I have superman's name!"
"Obviously, Clark is a rather much more better choice than to name him Karlito Camilo." Ally teased and a loud laugh surrounded the whole living room.
"I will never... in a million goddamn years will name my son that."
"Psh, liar! That's the first name you came up with and you considered it. Shawn told us." Normani cock block, causing Camila's cheeks to heat up so bad.
Still laughing, I turn towards her direction. "Did you really?"
She hide her face on the palm of her hands and nod her head.
"Oh my god, you're horrible at naming!" I laugh at her and eventually everyone joined in, making Camila our laughing stock.
Our conversation continues over dinner and it was a nonstop chitchat that it makes my throat sore already. After we finished eating, I pulled Ally away from everyone.
"Hey Laur, what's up?"
I pulled the brown envelop from my bag and hand it over to her, "This is my thank you gift to you, Ally."
Her eyebrows knitted, "Thank you gift? For what?"
"For everything that you did to me back when I was still a nobody. I remember how you drag me to come with you to LA and you welcome me in your tiny cozy home with an open arms. You practically supported me until I was able to find a job of my own. You've been good to me, Ally. I can never think of any day that you're not there for me. Everyone turned their backs on me, except you. And now that I somehow made this far in life, I want to return the favor. Open it,"
Ally's been teary eyed while looking at me, smile written on her lips. "You know that I'm not expecting anything in return, right? I did all of that because I love you."
"I know, and that's why I'm doing this because you fucking deserved it and I love you too. So go on, open it! Hurry!"
Ally giggled, "Okay," The Texan girl slowly open the envelop and pull the documents inside.
My smile grew even more as I wait for Ally's reaction. At first her face is still neutral while reading what's written on the document. After a few minutes, her eyes bulged and her mouth hang open.
"No way," I heard her whisper underneath her breath in pure disbelief. Ally looked up and meet my gaze, "Lauren Jauregui, what did you do?!"
I giggled, "I bought you a home exactly how you want your dream house to be, that's what I did."
Ally didn't say anything and just pulled me in for a very tight hug.
"Now you don't have to work your ass off in teaching to buy your dream house or settle in your tiny little apartment. A very amazing person like you shouldn't live in that kind of place."
Ally's crying as she mumbled an endless "thank you" against my shoulder which sent me to tears as well. I am so happy that I did something to make my best friend happy. They said fame will get into your head. But in my case, fame taught me to look back where I came from. To thank the people who believed in me before I could even start, when I can't even believe in myself. To always remember the people who stayed beside me when I still have nothing.
As for Dinah and Mani, I bought them a lot of baby stuff and built a baby room for their baby girl Sam which I know they will love it for sure. Once I broke the news to the couple, they had the same reaction as Ally and they even offered to do something for me in return.
"A road trip?" I asked and my three friends nodded.
"Since it'll be your last day in LA tomorrow we might as well make it well spent, don't you think?" Normani proposed with a smug grin.
I turn my eyes to Clark, "Road trip?"
He eagerly nod his head, "I love that, mom!"
"Okay, if that's what y'all want then let's head for a road trip."
Clark squealed in excitement, "Mommy, you're coming with us, right?"
Camila who's busy typing on her phone looks up and meet the brown eyed boy's gaze, "I'll try, tiger. Mommy's schedule is uptight, but we'll see."
His face dropped so I immediately aid on his side to console him, "It's okay, baby. You have mom, we'll spend a lot of time together tomorrow."
I looked at the girls and excused myself for a bit because the comfort room is calling my name. I hurriedly run upstairs because for some weird ass reasons, the restroom at Mrs. Hamilton's residence is only available upstairs.
I peed for a minute and lets out a relaxing sigh as the heavy burden in the pit of my stomach leaves my body. Once I'm done, I flush the toilet and swing the door open, only to be surprised at seeing Camila standing right in front of the door.
"Hi!" I exclaimed.
Her face is somewhat... bright? Is she happy to see me or my brain is playing tricks with me again?
"Did I startled you?"
"Oh, uhmm... I-I think so, yes. Y-yeah, you startled." I mentally slap myself for being the biggest stuttering moron in front of her.
She giggled, her cheeks turning red. "I really wanna talk to you in private, so..."
"So you followed me here? Typical Camila."
We both giggled.
"No, actually, I just wanted to say, uhmm," Now it's her turn to become a stuttering mess. Camila look down and she's rocking her feet back and forth, "I'm really happy to see you back home."
"I heard you were on tour and away so... I can tell you same thing."
There's a moment of silence surround us. It wasn't that awkward but rather a comfortable silence as if both of us are testing waters.
"So, how are you and Matthew? Still going strong?" I asked trying not to sound like a fucking jealous ex-girlfriend but rather a friend who's happy of her new found happiness.
Camila shook her head. She looked at me straight in the eyes as she answer, "Matthew and I broke up. We... we didn't work. I can't make it work."
I can feel the smile creeping in so bit the inside of my cheeks hard to prevent the stupid smile from showing. Camila's heartbreak shouldn't be my happiness.
"That's—"
"Babe!" I was cut off by a familiar annoying voice who belongs to Lucy Vives. Once she realized that I'm not alone, her hyperness died down a bit, "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something? Dinah let me in."
"No, you're not. Camila and I are just talking," I should've stop right there but my tongue and my mouth continues to slip the words I regret saying after, "You know, what friends typically do. Catching up."
Remind me to punch myself later.
A smug smirk formed on her lips while eyeing Camila's back, "I see there's nothing for me to be jealous about." She gave me a wink and I playfully rolled my eyes.
"What do you want, Vives?"
"I just stopped by to remind you that we have a date tonight at some still unknown and undecided club because your teammates are having a hard time making up their own minds."
I giggled, "Okay, I'll come. Does Mich know?"
She rolled her eyes, "She knew everything and I can't keep a single thing to her otherwise I'm dead."
"Whipped."
Lucy and I became a really good friends. And since we formed a strong bond over the years that we've spent together, a lot of people assumed that we're dating. And no matter how much we say no, people simply don't believe it so we decided to play along, calling hang out a date and calling each other babe and baby instead of bitch and loser. And that messing around became a natural thing to say. I'm really glad that Mich, Lucy's fianceé is not choking me out of jealousy.
But sure the brown eyed girl in front of me will.
"Got back together?" Lucy mouthed with a smirk.
"Goodbye, Luce. I'll see you in the party tonight." I really emphasize the word "goodbye" so Lucy will know how big of an interruption she is with my time with Camila.
"Okay baby, goodbye!" She waved her hand and mouthed, "You better spill everything tonight" before she go downstairs and disappeared from my sight.
"I'm sorry about that. How are you though? Are you okay? I mean, breakup is really hard."
"I'm all good, actually. I'm seeing someone else now. He's name is Michael Clifford and I'm very much In love with him."
Camila's face is completely red, jaw clenched, and eyes burning with rage. But I ignore what I'm seeing in front of me. Hence, I don't have enough time to think about the reason why her aura suddenly changes in just a blink of an eye because her statement clouded my mind completely.
I'm seeing someone else now. He's name is Michael Clifford and I'm very much In love with him.
I felt everything in my body ache, "That's... that's good. I'm happy for you, Camila."
"Are you really?"
I push my own feelings aside and chose to acknowledge Camila's happiness with someone else. It would've been so selfish of me if I whine and cry in front of her. I put her through so much pain and this is what she deserves all along. To be happy.
Despite the throbbing pain I'm dealing inside, I still beamed a genuine smile as possible, "Of course, knowing that you're in a better place now with someone who makes you happy... it makes me happy too. You know it's your happiness that always matters to me most."
"Always?" There's a hint of sarcasm in her question, "The last time I checked that wasn't the case."
"I'm so sorry that things ended between us like that. It was never my intention to hurt you, but I don't much of a choice but to let you go and you know why I have to."
"I know," Camila nod her head angrily, "But no matter how much I tried to look in a positive way, I still can't help not to think you're the most selfish person I've ever met. You broke me, Lauren. You broke me more than you thought you did."
And before I could even say anything, Camila turn her back on me and walk away. I took a sigh before I follow her downstairs.
"I'd like us to do some karaoke!" Ally suggested and they all agreed except for Camila and I.
We settled down on the floor while Dinah's setting up everything.
"Who wants to go first?"
"I'll go."
Camila get back on her feet and took the mic from Dinah's hand. The girls cheered for her while I remain in my seat, acting pretty much civil.
"Go girl!" Ally cheered with a whistle while Dinah settled right beside me.
"Why do I smell a karaoke war between two bitter ex-girlfriends?"
I looked at Dinah, confused. "I am not bitter, okay? I am happy with Camila and her boyfriend."
"You're such goddamn liar, Lauser." Dinah grin, "No, actually, you two are a compulsive mother fuc—"
I slap her arm away while pointing sharply at Clark using my eyes.
"A compulsive liar."
"Camila already moved on and I'm slowly wrapping the idea around my head. It's been 4 years, Dinah."
"So like are we going to ignore the time where you were MIA for 5 years and still she loves you all the same?"
"That was different from now. I broke up with her and I pretty much made that clear."
"But still... you love her?"
I nod my head, sadness washing over me. "I will always love her, that's the tragic story of my life."
"Then let her know. Remember what Shawn left to you; life is short and tomorrow is not promised. You don't have forever, Lauser. If you want something then you go for it. And if you're really that prepared to lose Camila completely then just continue what you're doing."
Before I could even respond, the music coming from the speaker blast around the living room. The fire in her eyes are still evident. They never fades nor about to die down anytime soon. If possible, the flames grew even more stronger.
Is that how much you hate me now, Camila?
"You should know better now
To fuck it up and fuck around
See yourself through my eyes
You're so fake, it's all lies
Was she good? Just what you liked?
Did you cum? How many times?
Tell the truth, wait, nevermind
I can't forgive, I can't forget
I should have known you're full of it
I'm not upset, I'm fucking pissed
I spelled it out, you're illiterate
Did you do the things you know I like?
Roll your tongue, make her cum twenty times?
Don't tell me to relax or try to get me back
I'm packing up your bags."
Camila kept her eyes darted to me until the whole song ended. Dinah and Shawn's words echoing inside my head all at the same time. Even the voices in my head are telling me that I should have Camila back by hook or by crook.
But how far can my desperation drives me? She's happy now with someone else. She made it pretty clear a while ago. She's In love with someone who's name is Michael Clifford. And I'm afraid that she'll reject me once I try. Knowing her heart beats for someone else is too painful for me to bare. I don't think I can take another heartbreak set by Camila.
'You should let her know. Maybe not admit it verbally but let her feel it' every bones and limbs and veins and blood and voices in my head screams the same exact thing.
"Who's n—" I didn't let Dinah finish as I get back on my feet and snatch the mic from her hand.
She's right, this is gonna be a karaoke war between an angry moved on ex-girlfriend and her still hoping ex-girlfriend that she could fix and save what was left between them. If there is anything more left.
"Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried,
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."
I put the mic down and motioned Dinah to cut off the music. I looked directly at Camila and she's looking back at me but her brown eyes shows no emotions. It's as if she's putting a barrier to what she truly feels, clearly because her pride and ego overweighs everything.
I hand the mic over to Dinah as I go back to my place. As if it's her cue to give her rebuttal, Camila stand up from her seat and grab the mic to Dinah giving Ally no chance to sing her favorite karaoke song.
"I don't need you anymore now
When you leave, please close the door
I can't stand it anymore
Now you're gone
On and on, I'll carry on
Are you here to give me pain?
Behind your eyes you're still the same now
Please don't smile and play those games
And don't pretend that you have changed
Now be gone
On and on, I'll carry on..."
As soon as Camila finished singing the song, Dinah automatically handed the mic to me.
"On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you; I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all; I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away, for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."
Camila get back on her feet and snatch the microphone from my hand.
"Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a woman like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby."
"I know I'm not irreplaceable, Camila. But you are, at least for me. I lo..." I paused in the middle of my sentence, contemplating whether I'll say it or not.
"Save it, Lauren. I don't wanna hear it."
Camila dropped the mic on the floor and started to walk away with Clark. The brown eyed boy is about to protest but I motioned him that it's okay and just go home with Camila peacefully which he did.
You lost the person you love, but you never lost the love for the person.
***
It was around 8 in the morning when all of us showed up in front of this coffee shop near Ally's house for the said road trip. And when I said all, I meant even Camila showed up which is a total surprise for me. I'm happy to see her here but there's a catch— she's with Michael Clifford.
"Holy shit! Lauren Jauregui?! You're Lauren Jauregui, right?!" The red haired guy asked— No, actually he's freaking out with a huge smile on his face.
I nod my head lowly, "Yeah, yeah I am. Hi!"
"Oh my god," I heard him mumbled while clenching on his chest. I can't help not to chuckled at his reaction, "I'm so sorry but I'm just having an internal struggle here. I mean, Lauren fucking Jauregui said hi to me and... I used to see you and watch your game on tv and now you're in front of me and even said hi. Do you feel me?"
And now I know why Camila fell In love with him. They have the same personality.
"Yes, I feel you. That's exactly what I felt when I met my favorite singer back then."
"Is it me?" He laugh, "No, I'm just kidding. I'm the kind of guy who like to stay at home in front of computer. And I don't even know why I joined a band. Anyway, my name is Michael. Mike for short," He lend over his hand to me for a handshake, "Or Mickey."
I accepted his handshake, "It's my pleasure to meet you, Michael."
"Oh! And this is Camila Cabello, my girlfriend." He pointed at Camila who's looking at us with a hint of embarrassment on her face, "I mean, you probably know her already, right?"
"Yeah, we're friends."
"Everyone ready?" Ally asked, interrupting my conversation with Michael.
Everyone nod their heads and pick up their stuff.
"We all won't fit in my car." Dinah announced with a concern look on her face.
"It's okay. I brought my motorcycle with me."
"Mom! Mom! Can I ride with you?" Clark squealed while eyeing at my bike.
"No, tiger. When you grow a bit more then you can ride with mom."
"But I wanna ride with mom, mommy." Clark pouted. I pinch his chin to cheer him up.
"It's okay, baby. We have a lot of time to ride a bike. No need to rush."
I kiss his forehead and that somehow calm him down.
"Clark, baby, why don't we ride to auntie Dinah's car?"
"Then we're gonna play some lego?"
"Yes, baby. Come on,"
Clark run towards Normani and rub her belly softly, "Hi baby Sam! I am so excited to see you!" Then he planted a soft kiss on Normani's belly.
"Thank you, Mani!" I mouthed and Normani gave me a "I got you" wink.
The scene keeps playing in my head and I can't help myself not to picture it happening with Camila. That she's pregnant with our second child together, happy and excited. But that dream will always be a dream that will never come true.
"Mickey, can you ride with us? I really wanna get to know you better... since you know, you're dating our best friend."
"If Camila wouldn't mind..."
We all turned our eyes to Camila. Her face screams a thousand no because that means she'll end up riding with me. And before she could even protest, Dinah cling her arm around Michael's and drag him inside the car.
"I'm sure Walz wouldn't mind."
"Laur, you got the GPS already?" Ally called out, half of her body is out on the car window.
"Yeah, got it!"
"We'll see you guys there!"
The car begins to move far and far away from us while Camila and I remained stood on our ground, silent.
I look over her direction and she's watching the car drives away until it completely vanished from our sight.
"Are you comfortable riding a motorcycle?" I asked, concerned.
Camila chuckled, "It's not like this the first time."
A certain memories flashed in my head and I wonder if she remember it too.
"That was fun."
"To dressed and act like a cop or to steal a car?"
"You remember?"
"Of course, I remember."
"Well... actually, both." Because I'm with you.
"I don't regret it." Camila walk towards my direction and stopped a few inches away, "Even though I know it's bad for me."
And I wonder if she's still talking about stealing the car or something more.
"I'm sorry about how I acted last night. The outburst was really unnecessary and irrelevant. I don't even know why I acted like that. And honestly, I feel so ashamed of myself."
"Please don't feel that way. It's my fault and I totally understand why you did that and where you're coming from. Everything you said last night was true. Everything I brought to you was pain."
"You know that's not true. You're my greatest pain and my greatest joy."
I wanted to smile but I can't because hearing it from Camila feels like saying a farewell goodbye to our love.
"You too."
There's a moment of silence that surround us. Neither of us are saying anything, we were just looking at each other. And it was really getting uncomfortable and awkward.
Camila breaks it, "You and Lucy... I see you were still together."
I can't help not to giggle at her statement, "Oh, no, no. Lucy and I were never together. We're just really good friends, best friends. She's actually engage with her fianceé. Wedding will take place next month."
Camila's expression suddenly changed into something I cannot decipher. I was waiting for her to say something but she remained silent and this conversation is slowly turning awkward yet again.
"Everyone around me is getting married. Even my teammates are already married or about to which leaves me the unmarried one in the group. Poor me." I giggled in attempt to lighten up the mood but Camila didn't laugh at it nor smile.
"How about you and Michael? Any plans?"
"Marriage is out of our plans right now, but I already met his parents and they were all so lovely and so welcoming to me and Clark."
"Oh," My throat gets dry. And I'm a liar if I say it didn't hurt, because god damn it did. "So they already met Clark?"
"Yeah, and they find him so funny."
"He totally got that from me, just so you know. And you're welcome." I attempted to dismiss the tension between us, and it worked out because Camila playfully rolled her eyes.
"He definitely got that from me. I'm the joker of the group."
"The flop joker? Of course, you are." I giggled and Camila slap my arm.
"I see years didn't change you, Lauren Jauregui. You're still that person who loves to bully other people and make fun of them."
"Only you, CabeLLo."
Camila glare at me and I laugh, "It's Ca-be-yo."
"It's too long for me to say it properly. I'm lazy."
"Never mind the Cabello. I prefer C—"
"Jauregui? Of course, you are."
"You wish."
I cleared my throat and focus my eyes on my motorcycle instead, "Come on, we're really left behind of this road trip."
I hop on my bike and handed the helmet to Camila. I noticed that she's eyeing at me— never mind, it's my bike that she's looking at and not me. I'm such a delusional hopeless freak.
"What? Did my bike intimidate you?" I joked and Camila chuckled.
"No, it's just that... you're really different now."
I gave her a questioning look, "I didn't change."
"I mean, financially speaking. I'm really proud of you, Lauren. I know this is your dream ever since we were still young."
"Thank you. I am proud of you too. And I assumed you already watched one of my games?"
Camila chuckled, shaking her head in embarrassment. "I haven't. Will that upset you?"
I shook my head, smiling. "No hard feelings though."
Camila beamed a smile and offer her hand to me, "Help me?"
I snubbed her hand and look straight ahead, "You're all grown
up now, Camila. You can do it."
Camila groaned and I silently laugh. I watched her trying to hop in for the past 5 minutes. Least to say, I enjoyed seeing her struggle.
"Finally!" I exclaimed as soon as Camila's all set and ready to go.
"Thank you so much for helping me, Lauren Jauregui." Camila says sarcastically.
"You're welcome, Camila Cabello." Though she's facing my back I can feel her rolling her eyes to the moon and back.
"I see you're still no gentlewoman."
"I'm only bad when it comes to you." I started to the engine of my bike.
"Oh wow! I'm really flattered to know that!"
"You're always flattered to everything I said, nothing new?"
"Where do you get this much self confidence? I'm drowning, honestly."
I laugh at her. "If you want to live then you better put your arms around me."
"You just want me to hug you."
"True. But I'm serious, you need to hold something otherwise you will lose your balance."
Camila wrapped her hands around my neck while laughing, "Is this good?"
I giggled, "I'm serious, Camz,"
Camila immediately pulled her hands away from my neck and our laughter died down upon hearing the slip up of my old nickname to her.
"I think I'm all good."
I mumbled a soft "okay" before I started to drive off and followed the GPS Ally set up on my phone.
***
We stopped at some antique shop and the girls are drooling over the vintage stuff that they're seeing. But that's not what caught my attention; it is that the place we're in right now is near Shawn's grave. Once I make sure that they were all busy and have no plans on leaving soon, I decided to take a walk and visit my brother's grave which I haven't seen for years now.
Cold wind blew right on my face as soon as I step inside the cemetery. It wasn't that hard to find Shawn's gravestone since, of course, we're talking about Shawn Mendes.
"Long time no see, brother." I wipe the dust off of his gravestone, "In case you're wondering this is me now. Your little sister made it, thank god!" I chuckled, "The past four years of my life was... tough and intense but they were all worth it. So far, my dreams became reality except for one." I plastered a sad smile upon remembering Camila, "But I don't regret anything, especially I know I made you happy in the final moments of your life. You told me life is short and that I should tell someone what I truly feel... but does it even matter now? She's happy with someone else. She's In love with him and I can't actually blame Camila because he was a great guy, you know? And—"
I was interrupted when a man crying so hard flops down on the gravestone next to Shawn's. There's a bottle of liquor on his right hand and just by looking at him I don't even have to ask— I can feel how broken and in pain he is. And it makes me really sad to see someone feel this way. I know what it feels, I've been there before.
"I'm so sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I should've told you that I love you! I should've told you what you meant to me! I should've told told that I need you and I can't live without you. But you left me before I could even grab the chance to tell you everything I feel. You left me forever and go somewhere I can never follow. Come back! Please come back to me!"
I watched him hug the gravestone while crying desperately calling the name of his lover. He screamed and he cried hysterically to the point where his pain is piercing right through me.
I looked back at Shawn's gravestone. 'Is this your answer to me? Should I let my heart rule this time and tell her what I truly feel? Is that what you want me to do, Shawn?'
"If only you were here," I muttered underneath my breath, "I miss you, Shawn. I miss you so much."
I'm planning to stay a bit longer but then I felt my phone vibrate against my pocket. It was a worried text from Normani who's already looking for me. I said my goodbye to Shawn before I walk back where they are. Throughout the entire road trip my mind is clouded with thoughts, torn between should I tell Camila or keep it inside myself. And me coming up with the right decision doesn't come easy especially I can practically feel Camila's warmth, her vanilla scent invading my nose, my heart skipping beats whenever she touched me or simply when her body accidentally bumped with mine.
The last stop of our road trip was no other than San Francisco Bridge. The girls knew exactly what this place meant for both Camila and I and how much memories it held, and yet out of all fucking places there is in California they really chose to go here.
I look at Camila as soon as we arrived at the place, trying to see if I could get a reaction from her— nothing. She acted so casual, so jolly around Michael as if this is her first time in this place. While me... I don't know. A lot of memories are flooding in my head right now and I feel everything; every emotions all at once. Being in this place again makes me wanna cry because it made me realized that the best memories I had will never happen again. And sometimes people stay in our heart but not in our life.
And in the midst of chaos and sadness, I found my green ones searching for Camila. She's cuddling with Michael, taking pictures. There's a huge smile on her face and I swear I've never seen her smile like that. And then Michael leaned in to her ear and whisper something. It's probably one of his stupid jokes and it made Camila laugh. The way she throw her head back and held her stomach as she laugh— she used to laugh at my jokes like that.
And I felt all of my strength being sucked out of my body just by watching her be happy with someone else so I decided to stay in my bike and listen to my some music instead. I put my earphones on and shuffle my spotify playlist.
[Gotta fix that calendar I have that's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory—]
I press the next button, hoping for a happy music to comes on and divert my mind from thinking.
[It really makes me wonder
Why does my heart just keep on beating
Why does my arms just keep on reaching
To someone who's no longer there
What can I say besides I'm sorry
What I can say to change your mind
Why do I keep holding on
A chance you'll walk back through the door
When my heart knows there's no hope anymore—]
"Seriously?!" I eagerly pressed the next button a thousand times as my frustration grows more stronger.
[Oh, ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darlin', I am still in love with you
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you]
I pulled my earphones away from my ears harshly and threw them on the ground. Fucking music! I just want to have a good time, why is that so fucking hard to feel?! All these songs... it made me realized that you can't really replace someone who made you happier.
"Laur, come over here!" Ally waved her hand from a distance, "Mila and Mickey are gonna sing! Come join us!"
I wanted to say no but that would look like I'm fucking salty over their relationship which I am. So even if it was against my will, I still drag myself to join them. I sat next to Ally.
Camila's sitting next to Michael who's gonna play an acoustic guitar.
"You ready, babe?"
"I'm born ready, baby."
They both shared a giggle which irritates the hell out of me but I still manage to keep a straight face despite of the intense feeling.
Michael started to strum his guitar in a slow pace. I darted my green ones on Camila who close her eyes as she begins to sing.
"All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die a happy woman I'm sure
When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side
But if you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is
And all I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody like you."
Camila open her eyes and first thing she look at is me. There's an unreadable expression that masked her face for a bit before it all went away. She flashed me a timid smile before she turns her gaze to Michael who's giving her a heart eyes.
"You did a good job, baby!" He throw his arms around Camila and pulled her in for a kiss.
I can't take it anymore so I stand up and turn to Ally, Normani, and Dinah who's looking at me with a sympathy look on their faces. "I'm tired. Let's go home."
I walk back to my bike without waiting for their response. I heard a shuffling of footsteps following me so I know they took my proposal without any protest at all.
"We'll see guys back home. Drive safe!" Dinah waved goodbye. They took Michael in their drive back home and headed first like the usual leaving me and Camila alone.
"I had a lot of fun today," The brown eyed girl giggled, taking the spare helmet that's been clinging on the side mirror to my left. "How about you, Lo? Did you enjoy? And I hope you did because you're with me throughout this whole road trip, basically. It would really offend me if you say no."
Camila joked but I never laugh. I didn't look at her nor give her any reaction. The brown eyed brunette walk closer until she's standing right in front of me.
"Lauren? Is everything okay?"
I look up to meet her gaze, "None of it are okay. I'm not okay."
A worried look quickly plastered on her face, "I'm here to listen, whatever it is. You know that, right?"
Silence.
"Right, Lauren?"
"If I say I'm still In love with you and I love you, will it change your mind?"
And now it's Camila's turn to fell completely silent. And her silence is killing me.
"Do you still love me?"
"More than you'll ever know."
I breathed out in relief. Hope filled my entire body, but before it could fill my wounded heart, Camila killed it.
"But things have changed, Lauren. I don't feel the same way anymore. Sure, there will always be part of my heart that belongs to you but that's it. You broke my heart, you let me go so easily. And it was too painful for me to bare. I... I can't feel that again. And I don't want to hurt Michael as well. He's been a good guy to me and I don't think I can hurt him."
Tears sprung out of my eyes continuously. Camila cupped my cheeks and wipe them away using her thumb, "I'm sorry."
"I'm okay." I nod my head to assure her, "And I don't want you to hurt him as well. I'll be okay."
Camila flashed a faint smile before she leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, "Goodbye, Lauren."
***
"Earth to Lauren!" Lucy yelled in my ear, snapping me out from my thoughts.
"I'm sorry, what are you saying?"
She took a sigh, "You looked like a zombie sitting in the airport. Have you slept?"
I shook my head. When you have a broke heart falling asleep is an impossible task to do. Your mind was racing, producing one thought and another and another until you were drowning in them.
"We're really over, Luce."
"What happened?"
I look down and tears fell down on the back of my hands, "I talked to her last night and I told her that I'm still In love with her but Camila... she doesn't feel the same way anymore and I couldn't blame her."
"Maybe this is the epilogue of your story. The part where you will say goodbye to her,"
"Forever."
"Not forever. You only lost her as your lover but never as your friend. When you're all healed and moved on from all of these, you'll see that you still have her."
"What if I can't move on from her, Luce?"
"Lauren, look around you. There are so many women drooling over you."
"But they're not her."
"Because you're comparing them to her. Stop that. Be happy, Laur. You've been through so much and the least thing you can do for yourself is be happy."
Attention! All passengers of flight G476 bound to Brazil, please proceed to gate 5 immediately.
My teammates and our head coach get back on their feet and started grabbing each of their own stuff. All of them are excited about the upcoming game while here I am can't even focus and get my head straight. All I want is to go home and cry myself until the pain stop and I eventually fall asleep.
"Now get yourself together because you still have a game to win." Lucy squeeze my shoulder gently, "And then I'll take you out tonight, okay?"
I nod my head. With deep breath, I get back on my feet and grab my bag on the floor.
I look back on the main gate just like what I did four years ago when I left LA for the very first time. And now here I am hoping for the same thing. I know just like before, Camila will never come to stop me from leaving. She already made her choice. She chose Michael and I have nothing left to do but be happy for her.
"Jauregui, let's go!" My coach called out, motioning me to follow my teammates who's mostly inside the plane already.
"Coming, coach!" I yelled back and took one last glance on the entrance gate.
Goodbye forever, Camila. I hope one day when I step foot in LA once again, by that time, my love for you already faded.
I swing my duffel bag over my shoulder and handed my passport and my flight ticket to flight attendant. After checking all the details she hand it back to me, smiling.
"All good, ma'am. Enjoy your flight and good luck on your game."
I smiled timidly, "Thank you."
I slip my passport and my flight ticket inside my pocket and started to walk—
"LAUREN!"
My feet immediately stopped from moving. My heart is pounding inside my chest as I turn around, only to see Camila running towards my direction. She's breathless and sweat dripping off of her body.
"Camila? What are you doing here?"
"Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you want, it's all yours anyway. The truth is, every single day without you in my life is a constant battle and I've never felt so powerless before and it drives me insane. I tried to fill this void you left inside me by looking for love in stranger's bed, but who did I fool? A day without you is like a day without sunshine. And I never want a day like that. I swear I tried to be stronger, to start anew. But to be honest, I'm still lost without you. I don't know how to be happy without you, Lauren."
Camila chuckled at herself.
"Pathetic as it sounds, but it's true. I can't. And each night when I lay my head down to sleep, I try to be proud for I have survived one more day without you."
She wipe away her tears that keeps on coming back and tainting her cheeks.
"I don't care if there are others out there for me, or a better person for me, it's you that I want; your smile, your laugh, your cry, the good parts and the bad parts about you, even the worst parts, every single thing about you. No one will ever be able to take that away from you. You are everything I want and everything I've always wanted. You will always be my first choice. Lauren Jauregui, I am still In love with you just as much as I did 9 years ago."
"Jauregui! The plane is leaving! Let's go!"
I look beside me and I saw my coach who's already in a hurry. Beside him is Lucy.
"Let's get you aboard, coach. And also quit worrying about Lauren because I'm sure she'll gonna take another plane going to brazil to win the game. So let's go."
Lucy gave me a wink before she dragged my coach away from us. When they disappeared from my sight, I turn back my gaze to Camila.
"What about Michael? I don't want you to hurt him because of me."
"He knew how broken I am ever since we first met, I told him beforehand. Mickey is a good guy and he understands. He's been so patient with me and told me that if we worked out or not there's no hard feelings on his side. I kinda told him about you, about us, but I didn't mention your name. I think he figured it out last night and... he set me free. He said he wants me to be happy."
I stayed silent after because I honestly don't know what to say next.
"Lauren, please say something? Please say it's not too late for me to made up my mind."
"If there was one thing I could be certain of, it would be you. It would always be you, Camila."
I took a deep breath and do what I always longing to do; I cupped her cheeks and kiss her passionately. It took her by surprise and Camila literally took a minute before she kissed me back. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepen the kiss. I can feel her smiling as we kissed. In my end, I couldn't smile because I was worried that my heart will explode at how fast it beats inside.
When the air becomes an issue, I pulled away. Camila rest her forehead against mine, "Stay with me,"
"I want to. I really wanted to Camz, but I can't. I have a game to attend and I won't be back until 3 months. I'm sorry."
Camila pulled away, her brown eyes shimmering bright. "Can I come with you, at least? Let's pretend we're running away from the world."
"Okay." I nod my head like a happy child, "I want that. I want you."
"I never want anything else in my life the way I want you, Lauren Jauregui."
I kiss her one more time before I intertwined our fingers together. I booked another flight going to Brazil since I can't miss the game tonight. Throughout the 11 hours flight, I was just staring at the most beautiful brown eyed brunette sitting right next to me. She's sleeping with her head on my shoulder. I can't sleep. I can't pick sleep over this amazing work of art. And it's crazy how my heart never tamed. It's still beating wildly as it did awhile ago.
Am I really that In love with this nerd?
"Quit staring or you might melt me."
I giggled, "So you're awake this whole time?"
"Let's just say I enjoyed being admire." Camila tilt her head and I am blown away by her captivating brown eyes.
"You should sleep more. You looked tired." I softly trace the bag under her eye.
"Tour was pretty much exhausting, but then again that's the only way I know to refrain myself from thinking about you."
"Me?" I scoff, "Liar. It looks like you haven't thought of me for years since you were so occupied dating Matthew and Michael."
Camila giggled, "I was pretty occupied dating some hot men, yes. But really, forgetting you is very hard. I tried but I failed."
"So now there's four people in your dating history, congrats Camila! You're stepping up your game." I teased and she rolled her eyes.
"Thank you very much, Ms. playgirl."
"And you're welcome, nerd."
Soon, the plane landed and we headed straight to the arena. There's 20 minutes left before the game starts, I'm afraid. And though I am lack of practice since I didn't attend yesterday, having Camila right beside me gives me a boost to give everything I got to win this game.
"I just realized... this will be my first time attending your game, legendary 14."
"I thought you never watched any of my games?"
"Maybe I lied?"
"Now I feel bad for genuinely not listening to all of your new music." I said truthfully and Camila pouted.
"Oh my god, wow! It's really flattering to know that the person you wrote the songs about is not listening to it. Great."
We both giggled. I drag Camila inside the locker room and introduce her to all of my teammates.
"Guys, this is—"
"CAMILA CABELLO, HOLY SHIT!" They all yelled in unison, making Camila blush.
Right. I forgot I have a girlfriend who's famously talented and everyone practically knows her name.
My teammates approached her one by one with phone on their hands and started taking picture with her.
"Hi! I'm Jared! Oh my god, I'm being a fanboy right now!" He turns his head to me, "Yo, Jauregui! I didn't know you're friends with Camila."
"Actually, she's my girlfriend."
He dropped his phone on the mat, "Really?! Oh my god! Does that mean we get free album and free concert tickets every new music release?"
I look at Camila and the brown eyed brunette just laugh at Jared's question.
"I mean, why not?" Everyone became hyper excited, "But in one condition though. You guys should win every game you play."
"Winning? Pff! We're always winning!" Kris.
"Jauregui? You already know what to do, buddy." Jared.
"Lauren got us, no need to worry guys." Leto.
"If we lose then we all know who to blame..." Seth.
"Lauren!!!" They all yelled my name in unison including Camila as they all burst out laughing.
"Oh wow! So the pressure is on me now, huh?"
"Guys, 5 minutes on the clock! You better get your shits altogether and focus!" Coach announced before he turned his eye on me, "Especially you, Jauregui. You still looked love sick over your girlfriend."
My teammates started to laugh at me after they heard our coach remarks.
"So, I'll see you on the crowd?"
I nod my head and wrapped my arms around her waist, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my day with you, Camz."
"Me too. Good luck on your game, champ. Win it for me?"
"I'm gonna impress you out there. Kiss me?"
Camila leaned in and gave me the most sweetest and passionate kiss ever, "That's the good luck I needed."
The brown eyed brunette giggled with a flustered cheeks, "I love you, Laur."
"Forever."
Camila looked at me lovingly for a minute before she walked out of the locker room. As soon as the brown eyed brunette is out of my sight, I turn around to face my teammates who's giving me a heart eyes.
"What?"
"You really are a lovesick bean over your girlfriend, Lauren."
I felt my cheeks heating up, "Oh shut up!"
"And you're even blushing, how cute!"
Before I could even have the chance to respond, Lucy barged in with a smirk on her face.
"Camren endgame?"
I smiled cheekily, "Definitely."
"So what's the plan now?"
"Actually... Lucy and my wonderful talented teammates, can I ask you a favor?"
***
Camila's POV
I sat on the front row of the arena where relatives and family members of FC Barcelona usually sit. And as I look around me, I was drowning at the overwhelming amount of attendees present to watch the game— Actually, no. They're not here to watch two teams clash against each other to held the championship but they were here to see one player and that's Lauren Jauregui, my girlfriend.
Girlfriend. Lauren Jauregui is my girlfriend. She's mine. It keeps ringing in my head constantly that it makes me smile cheekily like a 17 year old girl who fell In love for the very first time. I hate how I look so stupid in my seat right now, but what else can I do? I'm In love and love makes people stupid.
But despite of this intense happiness that I feel, somewhat part of me still feel sad at how things between Michael and I ended. Though it was a mutual and good ending I know deep inside I hurt him, a lot. And I feel bad about it. We've been friends ever since I began dating Matthew. I met him when his band 5 Seconds of Summer became my opening act for my Never Be the Same tour. He's a funny guy and very
patient. He accepted Clark with all of his heart and treat him as his own son. I also met his family but at that time we're still friends and not dating. But despite of that, I still can't feel in my heart the satisfaction that I'm looking for; I still can't move on. And thinking he could help me forget about Lauren, I said yes to dating him. And after 3 months of trying to build a serious and steady relationship that's filled with love, it all comes to waste when Lauren told me her and Lucy we're never a thing. All these years, I thought she dumped me for Lucy. I spent years making myself believe that I hate her because of that. I spent all these years making a fool out of myself.
And honestly, compared to Lauren, Michael is my comfort zone. Throughout the 3 months we spent together we never fought, he never do anything that will make me jealous, he treats me right, he puts me first, and most importantly I am his first choice under whatever circumstances that comes to us. And I will never forgot what Alfred told me:
"Given the choice, what will you pick Miss Cabello? The one you love or the one who loves you? I get it. Heartbreak sucks, and you don't want to feel that ever again. But think about how happy you were when times were good. You want to feel that again, don't you? If you want love, you gonna have to go through pain."
And that's the turning point where I need to make a choice; And I chose Lauren. And I know no matter how much it broke my heart in the process of loving her, be it over a million times, my love for her will never change.
A long and loud horn echoed around the arena that snapped me out from my thoughts. The crowd became even more crazier in their seat, chanting for their favorite team, chanting for Lauren's name.
"We're back again and live for the most anticipated match of the year. It's Juventus FC faces the undefeated champion FC Barcelona. And honestly, Steve, people on twitter, facebook, and youtube are making a poll who will win tonight's game 1. The heated rivalry that everyone followed throughout the years: Jauregui vs. Neymar. Who will win the clash? Will Juventus FC finally break the record breaking 4-0 streak held by FC Barcelona?"
"You were right, Mark. And fans all over the globe are going crazy. And you know me. I'm a Lauren girl since day 1 and I think Barça will definitely take home the bacon and put a high standard to soccer by putting the streak 5-0, well and alive."
I'm looking everywhere, trying to find Lauren on the huge field. After a few more seconds, she came out running in her Barça uniform. Long adidas knee socks, her hair is on a high ponytail, and a huge smile on her face. She stood right in the middle, alone.
"LAUREN MICHELLE JAUREGUI, MARRY ME!"
"I LOVE YOU LAUREN!!!!"
"I BOUGHT MY ADOPTION PAPERS WITH ME, SIGN IT AND MAKE ME APRIL JAUREGUI!"
Those are one of the few thousand chants I've heard from all of the people present in this arena. Few of them manages to make me laugh. I'm so happy at the amount of affection they were showing for my girlfriend. Because honestly, she deserves all of this. Lauren deserves to know how much important and special she is.
Lauren giggled, bringing the mic up to her lips as she begins to talk. "I love you too and y'all know that." Lauren spun around as she waves to everyone. "I really appreciate your efforts for coming in here today to watch the game and support us. I know this day is the most awaited day not just to both teams but for everyone. And... I would like to sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart for robbing this day from everyone."
The crowd grows completely silent. Others confused on what was happening while the other half are patiently listening to Lauren with a mix of adoration— I'm one of them.
"Both teams agreed to give this day and time to me because, well, I have a very important thing to say and I want all of you to be a sole witness to that."
Lauren took a deep breath before she continues.
"Exactly 9 years ago I dreamed to be a professional soccer player playing for FC Barcelona, and now here I am. Exactly 9 years ago, I dreamed to lift up a world cup, and now I can't count the achievements I've earned throughout the years I'm playing. Exactly 9 years ago I met my dream girl, my forever, the love of my life. Exactly 9 years ago, I promised to propose to her right here in front of the crowd. In this story, everything I used to dreamed of already happened... except for one."
Lauren looked at my direction with tears beaming in her eyes. My emotions are overflowing at this moment and I don't know which one should I pay more attention to. I watch her walk towards my direction and give her hand to me.
Tears escape on my eyes as I held her hand on mine, "What is this? You're making me cry." I chuckled and Lauren just gave me a smile.
She lead me right in the middle of the field. The crowd quickly recognized me and started chanting my name along with Lauren.
"All of you probably knew her as Camila Cabello, the amazing and talented singer and songwriter. But before all of that, I knew her as the nerd in my class. Always irritated at the sight of me," Lauren and I crack a laugh at the sudden memories that flashed clearly in our minds, "I knew her not as Camila, Cami, or Mila, but Camz. She's my Camz. And exactly 9 years ago, this girl right here taught me what life is. What love is all about. And no, she's not the type of girl who will shone a light on your life. She's the kind of girl who will sit with you in the dark, making sure that never in a million years you will feel that you are alone. She's my ride or die, my rock, my downfall, my everything. And that's why I don't wanna wait a little more longer to do this,"
Tears sprung out of my eyes continuously when Lauren kneel one knee on the ground in front of me.
"Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, thank you for being so patient with me. You loved me at my worst and I couldn't ask for anyone to spend the best version of me than with you. I'm a better person when I have you here, so marry me. Let's spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Marry me. We can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling In love for the first time. Marry me. We'll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me. We can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together. Marry me. Slow dance with me in our bedroom with an unmade bed and candles on the nightstand. Marry me, Camila Cabello."
"SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!"
"You're crazy mad." I sob, bending over to kiss Lauren, my hands moving to the side of her face. "You're crazy, crazy woman."
"Will I be crazy mad and married?" Lauren asks into my mouth, "Please tell me I'll be crazy mad and married to you." Her eyes swimming as she searches my face, "It's all about you and always will be. For the rest of my life it's only you. I love you, beyond crazy. Please be my Mrs. Jauregui again."
I fall forward onto her chest in a sobbing mess and I heard everyone around us burst into tears as well.
"Is that a yes?" Lauren asks into my neck.
"Yes, Lauren. I'd like to be your Mrs. Jauregui again."
"I can't breathe." Lauren murmurs. With a shaky hands, she slipped the diamond ring on my finger.
"Let's get married now."
Lauren's eyes widen, "Like... right now?"
I eagerly nod my head.
"How about 2 days from now?"
"On my birthday?"
Lauren nod her head, "Consider it as my birthday present to you."
"I have something in mind. Not the wedding, but the birthday present."
"What is it, baby?"
"I want my gift wearing a sexy lingerie."
Lauren laugh, "I'll make the gift naked if that will satisfy your horny ass, Mrs. Jauregui."
I giggled as I wrapped my arms around her neck, "I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all that you will be."
"Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear," Lauren whispered softly and at the same time seductively on my lips.
"Your wish is my command, princess."
Lauren smiled from ear to ear with her cheeks slowly turning into bright red. I leaned in and capture her lips using mine. The beat of my heart is so fast and the butterflies in my stomach erupts all of a sudden at the electrifying feeling this kiss is giving me. I kiss her slowly and more longer, exactly how Lauren wants it as if the air is caught up in between our mouth.
And I promise to love her forever, and every single day of forever.