"Are you sure you wanna know babe?" I ask to make sure
"I'm here baby,I'm not going anywhere... I just want to understand that's all" he croons
I smile and nod,taking a deep breath in I tell him how me and my mum and dad stayed with my abuela over the summer holidays when I was 16 and everything about how I met Pablo in the first place....how affectionate he was,loving....then came the week before we were due to go back home and he told me he loved me and that he'd move to Liverpool for me,that we'd move in together...get married,told him about giving Pablo my virginity....
I'm crying in his arms remembering how much it hurt to find Pablo fucking some girl in the bed he had took my virginity the week before...
"It's okay baby,you don't have to tell me anymore...I can't bare to see you cry" he croons
I sniffle and wipe my tears away "No this is the part I really need to tell you about..It was the week we were going to leave for Liverpool.... Pablo had told me that he would move to Liverpool for me,that he loved me.... I had already told him that I loved him,so I wanted to give the person I thought I loved and who I thought loved me,my body" I whisper
"We'd experimented a lot,but he always knew not to push until I was ready.... he was my first kiss,I wanted him to be my first everything!" I murmur and Russ fists whiten
"Russ?" I ask "Shall I stop?" I say
He shakes his head "Please,tell me!" He pleads
"The night I lost my virginity,it wasn't as nice as I thought it would be,it hurt.... Pablo told me the pain would ease and to not worry..." I grimace at the memory
"The prick had already finished not even bothering to make me come" i scoff "he got what he wanted and told me work had rang and that they needed him to come in or some shit" I shrug
"All that week after I gave him my virginity he had ignored all my calls and texts,so I went to where he worked...I figured he was working hard trying to earn more money for the move,get there and his boss had told me he had been off work for two days. So then I thought he must be sick,I went over to his apartment and used his spare key that he'd used in front of me a few times and let myself in" I pause taking a deep breath in and out
"Walking in the apartment,I went to shout his name but I heard groans and a squeaking noise.... walking towards where the noise was coming from,I opened the door and there is the fucker lying on his bed where he had taken my virginity. Only this time he had some brunette riding his cock.... The girl saw me first and made Pablo aware that I was there" I growl
By that point I was in tears... He looked to me and you know what the cheeky bastard said to me? "what are you doing here?" I mean really? The fucker still had his cock inside the slut that was riding him and he had the audacity to be angry with me,asking me "What are you doing here?" I huff
"What a utter cunt,baby am so sorry you had to go through all that" Russ croons stroking up my bare thigh
I snort laugh " Oh no! That's not even the best bit Russ" i tell him
"You don't have to...." Russ goes to say before I cut him off
"He then told me that he didn't love me,he told me that I was just a conquest...a bet between him and his friend,his friend had bet him 500 euros to make me fall for him and give him my virginity... he told me I served my purpose,because he had won the bet...I got angry and slapped him hard across the face" I tell Russ rubbing my hand that I had slapped Pablo with
"Fucking good" Russ growls "am glad you got a hit in baby..." he smiles sadly at me
I smile back but it's not my smile "Anyway,he told me to leave and go back to Liverpool... before I left though I told him he was shite in bed,that he couldn't even make me come and left....I managed to keep myself together until I got back to my abuela's place and jumped in the shower and cried" I tell him "I haven't told anyone about Pablo,not even Eva" i whisper
"You've not told Eva?" He says shocked "I thought you guys told each other everything" he asks
My heart twists in guilt,he's right we do normally tell each other everything....but I couldn't tell her this not this!
"I couldn't" i tell him "I felt ashamed of myself and I couldn't bare to see the look in her eyes...the look of pity" I admit
"I told myself I'd never let another man fool me again...I've always guarded myself from intimacy since then,so that's why it took me so long to open up to you" I tell Russ
I take a deep breath in and I feel like a big weight has been taken off my shoulders since telling russ about Pablo
"Thankyou for telling me baby,I understand now....I am so sorry,so fucking sorry he did that to you amber" he croons "I should go to Spain and hunt down the fucker and kick his arse for hurting you the way he did" he growls
I chuckle and kiss him passionately "I love you so much baby" I croon
He grins "Oh baby,not as much as I love you....in fact" he grins wickedly "I think we should go for round two...show you just how much" he growls wiggling his eyebrows and pushes me back into the bed where he makes love to me all night long....
My Fiancé.....