It's a Bad-Ass Thing by:xLoudnProudx
Reads-196
Votes- 8
Comments- 2
Rated R
12 pages (7parts)
First Upload- Nov 20, 2011
Last Upload- Apr 18, 2012
Action and Teen Fiction
Summary:
Jesse Sanchez is a mean but also an abused trouble maker with a shifty past, she doesn't take shit from anyone. Jesse starts fights and isn't afraid of confronting her enemies. She keeps everyone in an arm distance from her, doesn't lean on anyone for help. After gettin' kicked out, she attends a new school and things start to change. She struggles to control thing in her life and soon things start turning for th worst, but one closed door leads to another door being opened... An abused but strong girl fights for her life, join her while she experiences trust, hate, love and pain. I SUCK AT THESE BUT JUST READ AND COMMENT, VOTE OR LIKE :)
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It was pretty good. I think the main reason why you don't have a lot of reads is because of the amount of swearing done the second you start reading.
I think if you going to make the intro a fight at least show the final punch. That kick start the story with action instead of swearing which would apeal to more people.
Also some times you have the all caps words and that isn't needed.
I found this to be intersting and funny in some parts. I just think you should work on your style of writting and this would be 10 times better.
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Why did I chose that video? Well I went on youtube and thought I typed in 'bad ass' but I didn't I typed in "bab ass" and that video came up. So I went with it.