"tyler," i gasp, catching sight over his shoulder to spot him playing with a glimmering knife.
"josh," he mocks.
"what's with you?" i ask him.
"what's with me?" he chuckles, and it doesn't sound like him. doesn't sound like tyler at all. "what's with you?"
he turns around then, his knife playing hands on full display. he ceases his twiddling, gripping the knife tightly in his right hand. i register it as the one i stashed underneath the bed, the night i dug slits into my arms without any recollection. i guess he did some searching.
"nothing, ty, it's just me," i frown, standing up to walk toward him.
i stumble back as he brandishes the knife toward me, warning me to stay back. a guarded expression is on his face, and my heart is beating as i try to figure out what this is. why is he acting like this? what did he find out? where can i run?
i can't run to the window. he's standing to close to it. he'd have me in an instant. the drop is too high to dive out an expect to live, anyway. i could run to the door. i could sprint to the exit of the apartment, but i'm sure he'd have no time catching up with me. i'm stuck. i can't go anywhere. he's got me, whatever that means.
"i don't even know who you are anymore," he says lowly. his voice is chilling.
the hairs on my arms raise up in anticipation. he knows. zack told him, something, anything. he figured it all out. this is where he leaves me. i'm a terrible person.
"you've lied to me josh."
i hang my head as i whisper, "i know."
"you know?! is that all you have to say for yourself?!" he raises his voice at me, anger flashing behind those cold brown eyes.
"i'm sorry, i've been lying to you, ty, i just... i thought we could start new. you have amnesia, and i just... it was dumb."
i look away, ashamed.
"if only the problem stopped there." the ominous tone snaps my attention back to him.
i furrow my brows, wandering closer to him again. "what do you mean?"
"do you really think stabbing a man six times in the gut would result in amnesia? i thought you were some smart, cunning, murderer josh," tyler scoffs at me.
my eyes widen in shock.
you knew this. come on.
but i didn't know.
you do now.
"what are you saying?" i ask, though i know exactly what he's saying.
"i remember josh. i never forgot."
his smile is sinister. his blade is gleaming. i feel fear flood through me.
"you knew? this whole time?"
"i escaped that night. i hopped from bus to bus, made my way to detroit. i came back to find you. i never stopped loving you josh," my breath stills as he moves toward me, gently scratching my cheek with the tip of his blade in loving strokes.
i swallow roughly, my brain screaming. i'd thought, maybe, he just knew i killed people. that he'd found out i murdered my parents and brother. that he didn't break my heart, and there was a different story. i had no idea he knew the story.
What did you expect Josh
not now
y o u d e s e r v e t o d i e .
"josh?" tyler asks me suddenly.
i breathe out a quite, "yes?"
"where'd you go, baby? i lost you for a moment."
i feel the tears well up in my eyes as i look directly into his. his blade is still pressed tight against my cheek.
"i'm sick, tyler."
the first time i admit it to myself. to anyone. the first time i can accept those words.
"i know you're sick baby. it's okay."
his eyes soften wistfully. he lowers his blade back down to his side, cupping my face with his left hand now. he plants a soft kiss on my lips, and i accept it graciously. i mumble i love you's against his lips, thinking he's forgiven me. i wrap my arms over his shoulders, pushing my body against him.
the kiss ends too soon.
"i know you're sick," he says again, setting the knife down on my desk.
but suddenly something else is coming at me and all i see is blackness before my head hits the ground.
t h e e n d.