My eyes flick yet again to the cracked open door. It's been more than four hours since we put her things in her room and since then, nothing. She wasn't kidding about being quiet. If there wasn't the light coming from her side of the house I wouldn't even know someone else is in here with me.
I find myself being curious so I leave the TV on and go see what she's doing. I push the door more open and there she is, her back to me. She's sitting on the bed. Books and papers with notes everywhere around her. But she doesn't seem to focus on them, she's looking outside the window. I can hear her sniff very quietly.
Okay, nothing for me to see here. Why did I come here anyway?
I try to retreat back but the door screeches and the noise startle her. She quickly turns around to see me between her door, hand on the handle. Her eyes glassy.
Great, another point for me, way to look like an old creeper.
But to my surprise, she lets out the breath that got stuck in, wipes off her tears and attempts to smile at me.
"Wow, you move like a ghost. Do me a favor and stomp a little or something next time."
I crack a smile too. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You were just so quiet in here. Thought you fell asleep with the lights on or something."
"Yeah, I wish. I got this test tomorrow, I've been studying like crazy but I still don't get some things. I wanted to go through it one more time but.." she trails off.
"Test, huh. So you still go to school then?" I ask, why didn't I ask what she's doing before again?
She's quick to answer. "Yeah, I do, don't worry though. I do have a job too, I will pay you the rent. No problem there."
"Oh no, I wasn't worried about that." I study her for a moment, she looks very young. And I realize I didn't even ask her how old she is, crap. Well, no sense in making that interview now. "You okay?" I ask her in the end.
"Yeah." She nods quickly. "Thanks though, for asking."
I look around the room, it seems like she hasn't really unpacked yet. "Go to sleep. You won't learn anything from staring at the window, you'll just be tired."
"Yeah, you are probably right. I'll just put these on the desk," she says as she gets up, gathering all the papers. Her eyes find mine. "Good night, Jackson."
Okay, time for me to leave, gotcha.
"Night." With that, I close the door. I need to sit with her and ask her a few things, but it can wait 'till tomorrow.
_______________________________________________________________________
When I get up next morning I see her car is gone, so are the spare keys from the hook by the door I pointed out to her yesterday. It's fucking 5:30 am when the hell did she leave? I turn to the kitchen to make a coffee just to see that there is a pot already made. Huh, guess having a roommate has its ups, I'm thinking while fixing myself a cup.
When I get to the auto shop I see Wade is waiting for me again. He's smoking and watching me like a hawk. The interrogation starts before I get out of the truck.
"So? How'd it go?"
"Good," I answer with a shrug. At least I think it went pretty well.
"Fuck me, I was sure she'd run away the second she'd see your ugly mug." He tries to joke, but I can see he's actually relieved and somewhat worried at the same time.
He continues as we walk. "She's from around here?"
"I guess."
"So how old is she?"
I shrug again. "I don't know, looks young."
Wade looks at me sideways and tries again. "What does she do?" Another shrug from me and he stops in his tracks. "Did you ask her anything at all you dumbass?" He smacks me upside the head before I have a chance to duck.
"What the hell? What does it fucking matter where she's from or what she does? She's there, problem solved."
He stares at me for a few moments, then shaking his head his eyes drop to the ground and I hear him muttering something but not loud enough for me to get it, I don't care either so I turn around and walk the rest of the way inside, alone. Asshole.
When I get home from work Lana's not there yet. So I grab a beer, turn the TV on and wait.
During the day Wade didn't bring it up again, but he didn't have to. I know he's right, he always is. It's annoying but it doesn't change the fact I should have talked to her at least about some things before giving her the room. The last thing I need is a house full of her girlfriends having sleepovers or worse her worried parents looking for their little girl and find her living with me. She did look like she left somewhere in hurry.
It pisses me off that I didn't think of that yesterday. Well, I can always kick her out. But I need the cover, so I better make this work.
I'm on my third beer and she's not home yet. I check the clock, almost 8 pm. It is Friday night, she's probably out with her friends or something. Just as I think that I hear her car outside. It stops and a few moments later the door opens and in she goes, arms full of bags.
She looks tired but gives me a small smile anyway. With a quiet "hi" she continues to the kitchen as I nod a greeting. I hear her moving around, most likely putting away what she brought.
"Come sit with me for a bit when you're done!" I call after her.
"Okay!" she calls back.
I look at the almost empty bottle in my hand. "Grab a beer for me from the fridge, will you? You can have one too if you want, I don't mind."
"Sure." I hear her reply.
Yeah, having a roommate definitely has its ups, I grin to myself.
I look up at her when she approaches the couch a few minutes later. She has my beer in one hand and a soda in the other.
"I don't really drink," she explains giving me the beer.
Well, let's hope it's by choice and not because the law forbids her to do so. Choosing the other side of the couch, she sits on one leg facing me, waiting. Right. Where do I start?
"How was the test today? You did okay?"
She looks surprised by this question. "Yeah, I think I did. I won't know for sure 'till next week, though."
There is an awkward pause after that. I'm thinking about what to say next and she's watching me curiously. It's not like I'm making small talk every day, or any talk ever for that matter. Well, here goes nothing.
"So... I take it you go to the Winston College here?"
She nods with a small smile and glint in her eyes.
"What subject?" I ask, playing with the bottle in my hand.
"Nursing program," she answers and her smile grows.
"A nurse, huh? Started this year?"
She cracks then. "Is this supposed to be the interview you forgot to do yesterday before you gave me the keys to your house?" She burst in waves of giggles after that.
What the hell? I shoot her a look.
There goes my good mood, now I'm pissed off again. She must see it because she lifts her hand in a wait a second gesture and tries to calm herself down.
"Sor- sorry." She takes several deep breaths and tries again. "Sorry, I meant no offense, but it was funny, you have to admit that!"
"No, I don't!" I don't have to do anything you stupid bitch. I glare at her and she shuts right up. Her eyes go briefly to the empty bottles on the table before me, then back to me.
"I really didn't mean to offend you. You are right, we should get to know each other at least a little if we are going to live together."
"Answer the fucking question then," I all but growl at her and she starts to fidget in her seat nervously and after clearing her throat she asks.
"Wha-what was it again? The question, what was it you wanted to know?"
I hate when I have to repeat myself. I take a deep breath and slowly as if talking to an idiot, ask again. "I asked, when did you start your program? Was it this year?"
Her lips make a thin angry line hearing my tone but she answers regardless. "Yes, I did start this year."
Shit! "So how old are you? Is it at least eighteen?" I snap at her.
That s just great. That won't be suspicious at all. A guy in his late thirties living in the middle of nowhere with an underage girl. What if she's some fucking runaway. Maybe I should just kill her and look for a new roommate. Could be she hasn't told anyone where she stays yet.
My eyes slide to her and I can see hers starting to fill with tears as she's looking back at me, she takes a deep breath then and starts.
"No, I'm twenty-three actually. You know what else I am? I'm fucking out of here," she says it quietly but the tone is so hard she could be as well shouting. She stands up and goes on. "I didn't leave one bipolar asshole only to live with another one." And with that, she hurries to her room muttering over her shoulder. "I'll just pack my stuff and be out of your hair."
What? What just happened? Did she just call me a bipolar asshole? She's one to fucking talk!
I stand up too and march after her. When I get there I see her furiously stashing her papers in her bag.
She turns and yelps when she sees me in the doorway. Gripping the bag in her hands tightly she shouts. "What!?"
I open my mouth to shout back but I shut it up when a single tear roll down her cheek, her lower lip starts to quiver and I can see she's positively scared now.
What do I do now? What if she did indeed tell someone she's staying here with me. Fuck!
I take a deep breath and let it out while leaning against the doorframe, my hand goes through my hair in frustration.
This is exactly why I live alone! So I don't have to deal with anyone in my house on daily basis! She's here for barely a day and it's a fucking disaster already. I don't even know why I got so pissed before anymore.
I look back at her, she didn't budge from her spot and is watching my every move. I look away again. I have to make this right, somehow. But what can I say to make it right?
After few moments I look back at her and just try the only thing that comes to me.
"I guess this is where you tell me that I'm doing something that makes you uncomfortable and I stop, right?"
Her eyes go wide. Shit! Not the right thing to say then.
I'm trying to come up with something else when I see her blink several times. Her expression transforms to one of disbelief. She opens her mouth, then closes it again, and continue to do so, just like a fish but in the end, she whispers.
"Are you for real right now?"
Well, at least she doesn't look so scared anymore. That has to be a good sign. Right?! I take a step into the room and see her stiffen. Or not.
I stop where I am and close my eyes. I should get some kind of award for this shit. I need this, I need this, I need this... I repeat in my head like a mantra.
"What I meant is... look, I told you yesterday that I've never lived with a girl. But it's not just that. I'm not used to dealing with women. I work in a garage, all guys. I grew up with only my father and my brother, I don't date much, as a matter of fact, I've never even had a steady girlfriend... What I'm trying to say here is that I'm not used to watching what I say or how I say it. And I'm not used to making small talks either. But I really want you to stay here."
I blurt all that and now I chance to open my eyes. She doesn't seem tense anymore, good. The bag is hanging loosely from her right hand and she looks at me like I grew a second head.
"I honestly don't know what to say to that," she says eventually.
"You don't have to say anything really. You just stay here and I'll leave, to... cool off, clear my head, sober up, whatever. And we'll talk tomorrow. Are you free on Saturdays?"
She still stares at me but slowly nods.
"Cool, we'll talk in the morning then, yeah?"
Another nod. Yes! I thank the God I don't believe in.
"Okay then, see you later." With that I turn around, go grab my keys and leave.
I need to see something die.
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