Hey guys so this the 3rd book in which we have completed 50 chapters...
I think it will be very big chapter, but I will not make you bore...
So enjoy....😀😀😀
WHY MY MOM TOTALLY RUINED MY WEEKEND PLANS!
There’s this store near my house where you can trade your old clothes for other people’s old clothes. I SERIOUSLY wish there was a place like that to trade in parents, because sometimes, mine can be TOTALLY lame!!
This weekend I was SUPPOSED to hang out with Chloe and Zoey (which is pretty much my unofficial plan), but then I heard my mom telling someone on the phone, “Sure, Nikki will come help out on Saturday. She’s free all day!”
At first I thought I was just hearing things. I’ve spent more of this summer in the ocean than Nemo and Dori, so it was entirely possible my ears were all clogged up with salt!
Then I heard her say, “Nah, she won’t mind. She has a whole month left to hang out with her friends. She can spend ONE DAY giving back to the community!”
At that point, I knew she was volunteering me for some volunteer thing, and that was just WAY too much volunteering for one conversation!!
So I said, “Um, Mom, what are you talking about? I have plans this Saturday!”
And she said, “I know, I just made them for you! There’s a senior barbecue at the community center, and they need help with arts and crafts. Trust me, you’ll have a blast!”
At first I pictured A TON of super fun senior high school boys hanging out, eating hamburgers, and looking so cute that it should be illegal.
Then a little old guy named Irving rolled his wheelchair RIGHT through my fantasy, when I realized she meant senior citizens…as in old people!
Now, I love old people as much as the next girl. Seriously, my grandpa is SUPER COOL (except when he forgets I’m not five and amused by bodily functions, and then asks me to pull his finger).
But still, Saturdays are NOT sit-around-making-macaroni-necklaces days. They’re wild, crazy anything-can-happen-with-Chloe-and-Zoey days!! (And by that, I mean, swim-watch-movies-and-pretend-we’re-actually-much-cooler-than-that days.)
My mom was completely delusional…there was NO WAY I’d have a blast at an old person cookout!
I tried to think of an excuse on the spot to get out of it, but my mind went TOTALLY blank right after I said, “I can’t go! I’m allergic to…”
So then I blurted out, “…art supplies!”
I may as well have said I’m allergic to my own nose. That’s how DUMB and obviously NOT TRUE that was!
Since my mom was totally unwilling to budge, I ended up having to go.
Not a SINGLE person there wanted to do arts and crafts, so I spent the first thirty minutes doodling while texting Chloe and Zoey. It seemed like SUCH a complete waste of my time to be there!!
I was just about to call my mom and ask her to pick me up when the music came on…and not just ANY music, but Thriller! I LOVE that song!!
I was SUPER tempted to get up and do the ballet of the zombie dance I did with Chloe and Zoey…but before I got a chance, this tiny old lady beat me to it!
She looked like was she about 115, but that didn’t stop her from taking three steps to the right with her arms up like claws, and then three steps to the left.
At that point, I couldn’t helped myself…my inner zombie was DYING to come out, so I got up next to her and started doing my thing!
After about 10 seconds, this other old lady got up and joined in, and about 10 seconds later, two more joined in.
By the end of the song, almost EVERY old person was doing the Thriller dance…including this one guy dancing with a walker!
When I first got there, I seriously questioned if some of them were even BREATHING…and now they were all up, jumping around like a bunch of kids (prematurely aged, grey-haired kids, but still).
They played A TON of super fun songs after that, and I danced for pretty much the rest of the afternoon.
I’m not going to lie…I STILL missed hanging out with Chloe and Zoey. But my mom was right…I DID have a blast!
*
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WHY BRIANNA THINKS I’M AN ICE QUEEN
I’m SO tired of my mom trying to force me to be Brianna’s best friend!
She has her own six-year old friends, who also love Queasy Cheesy and drawing on walls, and I have my own friends, who, thankfully, never suck their thumbs or have accidents at night and then try to crawl into my bed.
Why can’t we just be sisters and leave it at that?
This Saturday, I was supposed to hang out with Chloe and Zoey (because that’s what I do pretty much every weekend). But Brianna started crying to my mom about seeing “Frozen,” even though she’s already seen it!
My mom took her the first week it came out, but she told my mom she had to go again with me because, “Nikki’s my Elsa!”
At first, I thought she meant that I’m as mean as an ice queen, but then she sang, “I never see you anymore. Come out the door. It’s like you’ve gone away.
(That’s from the movie! Sorry for the spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen it…)
After that, my mom said, “Awww! Your sister misses you. Do you really want to let her down?”
I tilted my head to think about it, as Brianna stood there staring at me with these big puppy dog eyes, but then my mom said, “That was a rhetorical question, Nikki! OF COURSE you don’t want to let her down!”
I HATE rhetorical questions from my mom. They always start with, “Do you really…” and end with something I obviously wouldn’t want, like…
“Do you really want to scar your sister for life?”
“Do you really want to make your dad feel stupid and embarrassed?”
“Do you really want your grandmother to think you hate spending time with her?”
There’s only one way to respond to these questions without looking like the worst human being in the whole wide world, so I said the only thing I could say: “Of course I don’t want to let her down!”
Then I took the little rug rat by the hand, hopped into the back of my mom’s car, and got ready for two hours of her hogging the popcorn (with sticky fingers, because she licks them between every bite!).
After my mom dropped us off, we got our tickets and got in line for snacks. We had just enough money to get a small popcorn and two small sodas.
Right when the guy finished getting our stuff and turned around to ring it up, Brianna said, “And my candy!” Then she threw this MASSIVE plastic bag filled with it onto the little scale that was on the counter.
I don’t know how she did it, but in less than 30 seconds she filled a bag with what looked like five pounds of Pick ‘N’ Mix candy. I whisper-yelled, “Put it back, Brianna! We don’t have enough money!”
But the guy at the counter said, “You can’t put that stuff back! You take it, you bought it!”
So I said, “Fine. Then we’ll have to skip the popcorn and sodas.”
Then the guy said, “Okay. That will be $21.53.” I kid you not! Brianna had filled a bag with more than $20 in candy!
We didn’t have enough money, and the guy wouldn’t let us put it back. And there was a line forming behind us, and everyone seemed totally impatient and mad.
Finally, Brianna said, “I got it!” Then she put her hand in the bag, pulled out a fistful of candy, shoved it in her mouth, and mumbled, “NOW weigh it!”
I thought for sure they were going to kick us out…until I put my hand in my coat pocket and found $20.
I had TOTALLY forgotten it was there! It was money I was planning to use for new art supplies, which I REALLY wanted. But the movie was about to start so I paid the man, grabbed our snacks, and ran into the theater with Brianna.
Even though I didn’t want to spend Saturday with her, I have to admit the movie was pretty awesome!
And even more awesome…as we were leaving, Brianna looked at me and said, “See, Nikki, you’re just like Elsa. You’re both great singers and super pretty! Thanks for buying me the candy…and for being my sister.” Then she gave me a big hug.
Awwww!
Okay, I admit, I was a little icy in the morning, but that kind of melted my heart!
Have you seen Frozen? Did you love it too? And who did YOU go with?
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MY NEVER-ENDING HOMEWORK DRAMA!!
ME, FREAKING OUT BECAUSE BRIANNA HAS A JAR STUCK ON HER HEAD!
3:32 PM: I am starting a huge social studies report and I’m going to be the MOST productive person you ever saw!!! It is true that it was assigned six weeks ago and it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. But I’ve done all my other homework so it’s ALL I have to do this afternoon! It should be NO problem and I WILL ACE IT!!!
My report is on Bessie Coleman. Here’s what I know so far: she was an aviator. Guess I need to do some more research if I’m going to fill up my poster board with interesting facts and prepare an oral report!!
*****
4:03 PM: Okay, I haven’t gotten very far. I learned that Bessie Coleman was born in 1892, and she was the first African-American to get an international pilot’s license. Which is REALLY cool! But then my phone rang and I totally ignored it because I am being PRODUCTIVE and CONSCIENTIOUS (I’m practically doing English homework just by using those words). But then I got a text alert from Chloe with an SOS 911!!!
So I called Chloe back. Her big emergency was that when our math teacher gave us our homework assignment earlier today, she was in the girls’ bathroom. So I had to look it up for her. And then I talked for a few minutes about how cute Brandon looked today, which got Chloe talking about how cute Max Crumbly (Brandon’s new friend) is until I finally told her I absolutely HAD to GO.
*****
4:41 PM: Bessie Coleman had to walk four miles to school every day. I wonder if she ever had to carry a big poster board project all that way? Or if she ever thought a school kid would be doing a report on her more than a hundred years in the future?
ANYWAY, I am TOTALLY getting back to work now after a giant distraction that wasn’t my fault AT ALL. After Chloe’s phone call, I swore there would be no more distractions. But right after that, Brianna stumbled into the living room with HER HEAD STUCK IN A PEANUT BUTTER JAR!! I am so NOT kidding!!!!
Remember when Brianna used Dad’s gallon container of natural no-salt no-sugar peanut butter on Holly and her 7 puppies in Miss Bri-Bri’s Paw Spa??? Well that CRAZY KID needed a snack and didn’t want to bother me (FAIL!!!) so she pulled out the almost-empty jar and decided to lick it clean! From the inside!!!! And then OF COURSE she got her crazy head stuck and came stumbling in from the kitchen, like some kind of crazy peanut butter ZOMBIE moaning for me to help her.
Once I got over my HEART ATTACK, I had to jiggle that jar this way and that until I finally got it off her head. I wanted to yell at her for being SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID and wasting my PRECIOUS TIME! But since she was almost crying, I told her that her skin was going to be beautifully glow-y after her peanut butter facial, and the final step to ultimate beauty was a nice long (long enough for me to finish my report!!!) bubble bath followed by at least one hour of beauty rest (nap for a cranky little kid). So, I ran the bath for her and now I’m getting back to work.
Bessie Coleman, here I come!!!
*****
5:00 PM: You are NOT going to believe this, but a bird just crashed into our window. Of course I had to stop and go outside and make sure it was still alive. It WAS!! He was hopping around in circles, but he was okay, so I came STRAIGHT back inside and got down to business. Clearly that bird needed a few more flying lessons before he left the nest. And he didn’t even have Bessie Coleman’s excuse!! No one would give her flying lessons because she was A) a woman and B) African-American, so she had to go all the way to France!!!
*****
5:51 PM: Okay, I am going to crawl into a hole and DIE OF EMBARRASMENT!! I was almost done with my research (YAY!!!) when my phone rang. I didn’t even look at the caller ID. I thought it was Chloe again!! So here’s what I said when I picked up: “I don’t have time to talk about cute boys right now!!!”
IT WASN’T CHLOE!!!!
There was a pause, and then BRANDON said, “Okay. Umm…I was just going to ask if you could come over to Fuzzy Friends after school tomorrow to help with a mailing.”
So then I started babbling about Bessie Coleman to cover up my MORTIFYING AGONY and my mom walked in with bags of takeout food and gave me a frowny face for being on the phone during homework time, even though I was TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. So, I got off the phone and now I have to go have dinner.
*****
9:34 PM: Had dinner. Locked myself in my room. Made poster board and prepared oral report. Falling into bed now.
NOTE TO SELF: Next time DO NOT leave the project until the last minute!!
Have you ever gotten distracted or interrupted when you’ve tried to do your homework? By what? How do you avoid this problem? Please tell me in the comments below.
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WHY I FEEL BAD FOR MACKENZIE
I never thought I would say or write this, but I feel kind of bad for MacKenzie!
No, it’s not because she’s a horrible human being who lacks any redeeming qualities and will likely develop a mouth disease later in life due to her out of control addiction to lip gloss.
It’s because of what happened to her this weekend.
Usually, I don’t know anything that goes on in her life because she only talks to me to say something nasty, like, “Nice sweater, dork! Did you steal that from a blind refugee?” or “Were you born on a highway, dork? That’s where most accidents happen!”
But yesterday was a whole different story!
In the morning, she was standing right next to me at her locker, looking into the tiny mirror inside it. She was wearing this hat that I actually thought was kind of cute, so I stared at it for a little bit, picturing how it would look on me.
I thought FOR SURE she was going to notice and totally spaz at me for staring, but instead she looked up with these sad looking eyes and said, “Oh, hi, Nikki.”
NIKKI! She didn’t call me “dork.” She didn’t call me “freak show.” She didn’t call me “loser.” She called me by my name!
I was kind of caught off guard, and I wondered if maybe she was only PRETENDING to be nice and normal so she could blindside me with some horrible one-liner.
So I said, “Um, I mean, well, um, hi.”
After that, I expected to hear, “They’re looking for you in first grade English, dork!” But instead, she looked down at her feet, hunched her shoulders, and walked away.
It was like aliens snatched her body from her bed that morning and replaced her with a much shyer, kind of insecure clone!
By the afternoon, I’d forgotten all about this super weird interaction, so when I saw she was last in line for lunch, I seriously considered letting someone else get in line before me.
Getting behind her in line is kind of like driving way too close behind a truck hauling sewage. It’s dangerous and it TOTALLY stinks!
But my stomach was growling so loud that I could barely hear myself worry, so I got behind her and tried not to draw attention to myself.
Within a minute, she turned around, and I thought for sure she was going to say something mean, like, “I’m surprised you’re in the lunch line, dork, considering you have NO TASTE!”
But instead she looked at me, looked down at her feet, said, “Hi, Nikki,” and then turned around.
There it was…my name again!
This was starting to get really weird! That’s when it occurred to me that she was still wearing that hat…and she never wears a hat all day in school.
I was seriously considering complimenting it, just to see what she’d do, when some boy ran over, said, “Nice hat!” pulled it off her, and ran away!
MacKenzie shrieked, and that’s when I saw it: a big, missing chunk of hair on the back of her head!
After that, tears filled her eyes and she told me what had happened.
Her little sister, Amanda, got mad at her and cut the piece off when she was asleep!
Brianna can be kind of obnoxious and bratty sometimes, but she’d NEVER do something THAT cruel!
I know, it’s possible that MacKenzie did something totally mean to Amanda. She’s mean to pretty much everyone except Brandon (because she’s delusional and thinks he’ll be her boyfriend someday).
But still, I felt pretty bad for her. Maybe if she WAS mean to Amanda, this will teach her to be a nicer person.
Do you think maybe it will?
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THE CRAZY WEDDING I WAS IN THIS WEEKEND!
You’ll never guess what I did this weekend!
Can’t guess? Okay, I’ll tell you: I was in a wedding!
I know, that doesn’t sound all that unusual. But it wasn’t just ANY wedding. It was a wedding for Bubba and Sassy.
If those sound like odd names, it’s probably because they’re names for DOGS!
I got this idea last month when I was trying to help Brandon’s grandmother, Betty, come up with a unique idea for a fundraiser for the animal shelter.
Brandon and I were sitting with her, brainstorming, when we noticed Bubba, this cute little dachshund, cuddling with Sassy, a totally adorable poodle.
They were all nuzzled up against each other, and it was the sweetest thing!
Betty said, “Well, would you look at that! Those two are practically inseparable. There’s nothing cuter than a small dog…other than two small dogs in love!”
I said, “Aww! I wish I could take them home with me! It’s kind of a good thing no one has adopted them. They’re meant to stay together forever!”
Then it hit me: why not “make it official” and invite people in the community to come to the wedding, asking for donations to the animal shelter as gifts?
EVERYONE loves cute little dogs, right?
We decided that Betty would cook, I’d make decorations, and Brandon would take photos that we’d send to the local newspaper to promote the shelter even more.
It was a totally brilliant plan!
We put flyers up all over the neighborhood, Zoey announced the event on her TV show, and I even got the school newspaper to run a story about the wedding.
As of last Friday, 100 people had RSVPed! If everyone gave a $20 gift, that would be $2,000!
On the morning of the wedding, I got Sassy ready, and Brandon dressed Bubba in a little tux.
I made him do it in a separate room, though, because the groom should NEVER see the bride before the wedding!
(At least, according to the wedding forums I found online. Brides are hardcore about the rules, and kind of scary, actually. I think I’d rather be trapped with a psychotic gorilla in a boat, in shark-infested water, than left alone with an angry bride!)
Right after I finished putting Sassy in her dress, Brandon ran in and said, “Bubba has cold feet!”
In case you’re not familiar with wedding lingo, that usually means the groom wants to back out.
It seemed highly unlikely that Bubba suddenly developed a human vocabulary, or telepathically communicated to Brandon that he was too young to get tied down with a wife and a litter of puppies, so I smirked and said, “Um, really? So you speak bark now?”
Then he said, “No, I mean I spilled a bunch of ice water and he stepped in it. Can you pass me a towel?”
Fifteen minutes later, I was standing at the front of the aisle with Sassy, and then I heard it: Duh dum duh dum! Duh dum dee dum!
(No, it wasn’t a dumb kid being repetitively sarcastic…it was the wedding song!)
And after that, I saw Brandon walking Bubba down the aisle!
It was RIDICULOUSLY cute, and so romantic…until he got to the top of the aisle and Bubba peed all over Sassy’s veil!
Still, Betty saved the day by saying, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate a love so deep, it can thrive through both sunshine and SHOWERS!”
Everyone laughed, and the rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch!
We didn’t raise $2,000…we raised $3,575! And I even got to dance with Brandon at the reception!
When we were on the dance floor, he said, “This was a really great idea, Nikki, and you did an awesome job with the decorations. I’m really lucky to have you…I mean, WE’RE really lucky to have you…helping…here at the animal shelter!”
Awwww! I looked into his big puppy dog eyes and said, “Thanks, Brandon. I think I’m pretty lucky, too.”
It was the best weekend EVER!
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