Chapter 15 / The World In Your Hands
Chorong's POV
ISN'T IT ALL TOO FAST?
I asked myself as Changsub takes me home. No, not the rideㅡbut me and my heart.
We got off his bike and then we stood in front of each other, not quite meeting eye to eye. I can't meet his eyes because of the revelation inside my headㅡI have no idea why he can't meet mine.
Even so, I smiled. "Thank you for today, especially for coming with me to the hospital." I said, staring at my shoes.
Changsub ruffled my hair with his hand like I was a kid. To my horror, I thought that what if he thought of me as a sister? I looked up at him and finally, I met his eyes with mine. They're shining and happy. I love how I could tell whether he's happy or not just by looking into his eyes.
"Good night, birthday girl." he said, smiling.
"Good night, Lee Changsub. Thanks for the ride!"
He chuckled. "Anytime, with my extravagant bike."
I grinned. "You go first."
He shook his head. "No, I'll see you head in first."
"Come on! Please go first."
"No, you go first."
I sighed. "Fine! Aigoo."
He smiled widely. I smiled back before turning away. "Night!"
But before I could take another step forward, he grabbed my hand. My heart stops beating.
I turned around to face him. "What?" I asked curiously.
He laughed nervously. "Good night."
"Seriously? Let me see you leave first."
He's still holding my hand. I couldn't breathe properly.
He closed his eyes, bent his head down and muttered something I couldn't quite understand.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He looked up and swallowed. "Good night." he said again.
I chuckled. "What's with you?"
He shook his head. "You have no idea." he replied, and then he took my other hand as wellㅡand pulled me closer to him.
My whole world was on pause.
He stared at me for a while. I felt like he was taking in all my facial features with his eyes, so I looked down self-consciously. Also, I'm afraid that he sees me, tooㅡthat if he'd look long enough into my eyes, he would know how I feel about him.
I just turned twenty-sevenㅡand that's the age people start to realize that they have really become an adult even though they've been one for many years before that. It's the age when they've learned a lot from past experiences in life. It's the age when most people have fallen in love and have gotten their hearts broken. But with Changsub, I feel so much youngerㅡwith him, it feels like I'm falling in love for the first time all over again, like I've never been broken.
He didn't let go of my hand, so when I felt something soft and warm against my lips, I'm suddenly wearing my heart on my sleeves. I am vulnerable.
I closed my eyes and there it isㅡhe is kissing me. I couldn't believe that it's possible to feel like the world is in your hands. That's how I felt at that very moment, even though the kiss wasn't quick or long, it was enough to shake my whole world.
His lips separated from mine softly, but the way he pulled himself away was quickㅡas if he was electrified.
I opened my eyes slowly, my cheeks were warm and my heart wasn't able to calm down. I couldn't look at him. What if he regrets it? I don't want him to regret it. I stared at the ground and for what felt like forever, we just stood again in front of each other.
Everything inside my head was suddenly running fast. What if this is the end of us? What if he turns away after this? What ifㅡ
And then there's no more what-ifs. Silently and very gently, he wrapped his arms around me. "Good night for real." He said and we didn't talk about what just happened. He pulled away, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and addedㅡ"Now, you go first."
I nodded quietly. Literally, speechless. Something inside me has malfunctioned.
I looked at him before I get inside the building and he waved at meㅡand he smiled.
I breathed in relief and hoped everything's really fine between us.
I, Park Chorong, do not want to lose Lee Changsub.
#
Changsub's POV
I PEDALLED FAST ON THE WAY HOME, clearing my mind, ignoring the beat of my heart.
Fear is embracing me.
Why did I do that? Why did I kiss her?
But no matter how much I think about it, I couldn't wish to undo something I don't regret.
And it fears me that kissing her is everything beautiful that has happened in my life ever since I got out of the army, being with her is like being surrounded by a shield from everything else.
At home, I left my bike on the front yard and then I saw Bomi sitting on the front porch. "Oppa!" She called out as if she's been waiting for me.
"What are you doing there?" I asked.
She smiled. "Can we talk? Can you sit with me for a while?"
I took a deep breath. This will help me get Chorong out of my mind for a while and I also get to spend some time alone with Bomi.
"What is it?" I asked, sitting beside her.
"I need to tell you something." she said seriously, and Bomi was rarely seriousㅡat least before I went to the army.
"What? You're making me nervous." I told her.
She swallowed. "I like Eunkwang oppa."
Crickets sing.
The whole world was silent.
And then I asked, "What?"
Bomi sighed, then she looked away shyly. "I like your best friend, Seo-Eun-Kwang."
"What?" was all I could say again.
She frowned. "Aish! Seriously! One more what and I'm gonnaㅡ"
"Does he know?" I asked.
Surprisingly, she nodded. "Yes! Butㅡaren't you gonna ask me why I like him?"
I frowned. "I don't want to know."
She giggled. "He told me he's worried about you, so we couldn't tell you yetㅡbut we're not really going out yet..." she said with uncertainty. "I don't know what we are now."
"Humans?"
She elbowed my arm. "I really like him, oppa. He's always been there for me and he always made me laughㅡeven through the hard times. When you were in the army after mom was gone, he was all I had. At first, I told myself I don't like him like that because, duh, he's your best friend and he's older than me! And I've known him for so long. Not really my type at all!"
I laughed at that.
She continued, "But oppa, this is really cheesy and you can cringe all you wantㅡ" she said, pulling her knees closer to herself. "But his laugh is really contagious, it made me smile. His voice when he hums or sings while he helped me wash dishes is so beautiful, it almost healed my grief. He's like, um, how do I say this? You know, in a very, very, very dark nightㅡhe's the moonlight. I didn't realize it at first, but slowly, I was falling for him..."
She turned her head down and whispered to herself, "Aish, this is embarrassing."
I smiled and shook my head with a sigh. "What did he do to you?"
Bomi grinned. "He totally got me, right?" And then she added, "Are you okay with it?"
"Yah," I said. "Who am I to get in the way of your happiness? I wouldn't have wanted you to date him becauseㅡ" I sighed again. "I know Eunkwang in a very detailed way."
She smiled at this.
"But he's a good guy. The world is a better place with him and youㅡand it will be much better if it has you both together in it."
Bomi gasped and hugged me abruptly. "I love you, Changsub oppa."
I hugged her back and frowned. "Ew?"
"Yah!"
I laughed. "Now, you can sleep."
"Yeahㅡhow did you know I've been thinking about it every night?"
I just shrugged.
Because many things steal your sleepㅡand falling in love is one of them.
#
Bana Entertainment.
I was called in for a meeting. Jinyoung, in a very young age, handles and manages Bana Entertainment. He was sitting quietly on a swivel chair when I came into his office, he smiled.
"Hey, there!" he said brightly.
"Why did you call me?" I asked politely.
"I like you. You get to the point." he said and then he turned to the computer in front of him. "I had a meeting with the management team. We were scheduling your debut."
My eyes widened. "What? Really?"
He nodded. "You should prepare yourself, Lee Changsub-ssi. Your debut might be very soon. ButㅡI was thinking of your debut song."
I swallowed. "I... I'm in the process of making a song. Will you listen to it when it's done? I really want to debut with it."
He nodded considerably. "We'll see, but just in case, you might sing one of my songs."
"Thank you."
#
Chorong hasn't called me. I know she could be waiting for my call or text, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I spent the next few days working on our songㅡAt The End. I know that it's cruel, but I need some time. It's pretty confusing to fall in love while you're afraid.
#
Chorong's POV
If I could see you just once more
If I could meet you just once more
Will there be an answer to this unbelievable situation?
Did you feel the same thing as me?
Or am I just feeling it on my own?
I closed the notebook with a sigh.
It's the notebook Changsub had given me for my birthday. It had a message on its first page that says, SONGS ABOUT MR. WRONG ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE. Please fill it with life. - Changsub
And so here I am, filling it with the thoughts of him. After that night, he hasn't talked to me again. Fear is growing bigger inside of me. I wish he would call and tell me everything's still alright between us. But it's been... a week. Clearly, things are not alright between us.
"Eonni... you're staring blankly ahead again." Bomi said as we sat together behind the counter, listening to the mixed voices of people singing in the karaoke rooms.
"Are you sure your brother is okay?" I couldn't help asking.
She nodded. "He went to Bana for a meeting recently and they said he's going to debut soon. He's been in his room for days now, trying to finish a song." She explained and then she looked at me. "I... thought you would know."
Something inside me tightened. I just forced a smile. Thankfully, a customer came in.
I was watching Bomi accommodate customers when I got a call from the hospital. My heart skipped a beat.
What's this?
I quickly picked up the phone.
"Hello, Park Chorong-ssi?"
"Y-yes?"
"Please head over to the hospital right now. Your mother has been brought to the emergency room."
"W-what?!"
"Eonni, are you okay?" asked Bomi.
My hand trembled as I put back my phone inside my bag. "I gotta goㅡto the hospital. Take care of the shop."
After that, I felt my hearing go silent. My tears blurred my vision as I ran to get a bus to the hospital.
It's either bad or good news. And I really hope and pray it's the latter.
#
A/N: Thanks for reading guys!!
Now, am I the only one who ships the gorilla couple? Hahaha
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