Previously on Endless Love...
She giggled. She then leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. He kissed her back and soon they both went back to bed, Kate curling up on Castle's chest, Castle wrapping his arms protectively around her. They fell asleep like that, and there were no more interruptions that night. And then when morning came they would deal with morning, but for now they were enjoying their time together.
•••
It had been about two months since they took in Benny while they worked on the case. Since both Castle and Beckett decided on trying to have kids one would think that it would come as no surprise to Kate when the stick read 'pregnant' but her hand was shaking, her free hand covering her mouth. She was scared shitless, but she couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face through all of the fear. She was pregnant. She through the test away discreetly and then placed both of her hands over her still flat belly.
Her happiness was cut short when the fear creeped back in. So many thoughts were running through her head as she thought about all the things that could go wrong with the pregnancy, with Castle and his family's reactions, with Gate's and the team's reactions, with everything. Tears pricked in the corners of her eyes and she let them fall, no one was home. Castle was at a book meeting, Martha was at her acting studio, and Alexis was still at college. Alexis would be coming home next week for New Year's. She wished Castle was here, she wanted to curl up in his arms and have him tell her that everything was going to be ok. But she didn't want him to know. What if he regretted wanting to have children. What if he would say it's too soon for her to get pregnant. All of these what if's crossed her mind. She got lost in them.
When she heard Castle's voice she was still sitting on the bathroom floor with her head placed in her hands, her knees curled up against her chest. Her head popped up and she quickly glanced to the clock on their bathroom wall. Had it really been an hour and a half of her sitting here dwelling on her negative thoughts? She heard him call her name again and quickly stood, checking her face in the mirror only to she her eyes swollen from the tears. She splashed some water on her face and then hurried out of their bedroom, through Rick's office and into the living room. When he saw her she could see the immediate worry leave his face, but what flooded in was concern. He took hurried steps toward her.
"You okay?" He asked searching for her eyes. SHe refused to let him see them because she knew if he saw inside them he would know everything, "Kate. Kate look at me." He softly spoke. She still refused, "You can tell me anything you know that right?"
Kate nodded, feeling tears creep their way to her eyes. "Oh, sweetie, come here." He told her, pulling her in for a warm and comforting hug. Kate sighed against him closing her eyes and breathing in his calming scent. She stayed in his arms for a long time. Once she felt calm and ready she decided to say what was on her mind.
"I need to tell you something."
"Of course, Kate, anything." Castle reassured.
"I'm-" She stopped. The fear had found her, it paralyzed her. She froze, wanting to retreat while simultaneously wanting to just get it off of her chest. She didn't know what to do. She didn't realize she was crying yet again until she felt Rick's hand cup her cheek and sweep them away with the pad of his thumb. She could feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to look up and meet him, but still she denied him that.
"Why won't you look at me?" He asked softly. Kate could hear the hurt in his voice.
"Because then you'll know." She whined.
"Know what?"
"That I'm pregnant."
Rick's eyes grew big as Kate looked up to him, biting her lip in anticipation. "You-You're pregnant?"
"Yeah..." She whispered, swiping at her tears herself.
"Why are you crying, Kate? This is good news, right?"
"G-good news?"
"Yes! Of course! We're gonna have a baby!" He almost yelled, his excitement taking over him, "Are you-do you not want this?" He calmed himself down.
"No, no. I want this, I really want this. I was-I was just scared of what you would think."
"We talked about this, remember? Do you know how excited I was when you said that you wanted to have a baby? Extremely. I want this more than anything, Kate. I want a family with you." He reassured. His face turned sad when he saw her tears resume. He opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but she spoke before he could.
"They're happy tears, I promise," She laughed, reaching out to grab Rick's hand to place it on her stomach, "That's our baby in there." She smiled brightly, illuminating both his and her world. He couldn't contain himself. He picked her up and spun her around in his arms, smiling from ear to ear at the joyous squeal that came from her.
When he set her down they kissed softly and lovingly. Both Kate and Rick were going to get the happy life that each of them deserved.
"How are we going to tell everyone?" Castle furrowed his brow.
"Well, we don't have to tell them right away. I kind of like the secrecy. You know, having something that is solely ours. Mine and yours." Kate grinned.
"You're right. You're always right," He paused, "But what about work? You shouldn't be working while you're pregnant. What if you or the baby gets hurt?"
"I don't know. I can't take a nine month leave of absence."
"No, but what you can do is take desk duty. You can still interrogate suspects and help on cases, just, not go out into the field. Which I know is your favorite part." He frowned. He was determined though, they would take on each struggle together.
"I guess I could do that. But how would I explain it to Gates? She won't exactly do this willingly, she'll want answers as to why one of her best detectives is requesting desk duty."
"Oh don't be so humble, you are her best detective." He smirked.
"Haha. That doesn't answer my question though. What do I tell her?"
"You have work tomorrow right?"
"It's the same schedule it's been for the last seven years now, Castle." She mumbled.
"Ok miss sassy pants, how about we tell our family and friends first and then tell Gates."
"Yeah, but how long are we going to wait? We agreed that we don't want to put the baby in harm's way."
"How about we tell her next week and everyone else this week. And when it comes to chasing down suspects we leave it to the boys. Sounds good?"
"Sounds good."
///
Today was the day that they were going to tell Lanie and the boys as well as Kate's dad and Rick's mother and daughter. They agreed that Castle would tell the boys and Kate would tell Lanie.
As Kate rode the elevator down to the morgue she was picking on this skin around her nail. What would Lanie think? Would she think it was too soon? Kate shook her head. She should probably make a session with Burke to talk about her anxiety through this whole process. As the doors opened she followed the voice of Lanie. She was singing to herself.
"Lane?" Kate asked, not wanting to startle her. Although it didn't work out that way, Lanie jumped, causing Kate to jump.
"Girl," Lanie reprimanded, "don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Sorry." Kate apologized.
"What's goin' on?" Lanie suspiciously looked Kate up and down.
"Wha- nothing?"
"Nothing? I know you, you better tell me."
"Ok, ok," she took in a big breath, "I'm pregnant."
"What!" Lanie squealed, "That is so amazing! I'm so happy for you! Does Castle know?" She asking after she stopped jumping in joy.
"Yeah," Kate laughed softly, "he knows."
"When did you tell him? Oh! How did you tell him? When did you guys decide to start and try-"
"Ok, Lanie, slow down. I'll answer all of your questions."
///
Back with the boys and Castle, Castle had brought the boys into an empty interrogation room and made sure that no one followed them in.
"Bro, what was so urgent that you needed to drag us in here?" Esposito wondered, scratching the back of his head in confusion. Ryan nodded, waiting for Castle's answer.
"Kate and I are having a baby!" He blurted, covering his hands over his mouth after he said it, surprised he was so forward with it.
"What?" Espo asked.
"You guys are having a baby?" Ryan questioned the question.
"Yeah. We are."
"Aw!" Ryan said bringing it in to hug Castle. Esposito stood with a mixture of confusion and protectiveness. After pulling away from his hug with Ryan, Castle swallowed when he saw Espo open his mouth, afraid that he would punch him or something.
"You better be not leave her and that child." He said seriously.
"I-I won't. I love Kate with my everything." Castle quickly said.
"Good." Espo smiled, leaning in to squeeze Castle tightly. Espo and Ryan were like Kate's brothers, they would do anything to protect her and make sure that she was only with the man that would be the best for her. After that hug Ryan asked,
"Does Lanie know?"
"Beckett's telling her now." Castle replied.
"Good...have you told Gates?"
"Not yet."
"Well when are you going to tell her?" Espo chimed in.
"Sometime next week." Castle recalled.
"What about the baby? Is she going to go into the field?"
Castle somewhat nodded and told the boys their plan.
///
By the time Castle and Beckett met back up in the bullpen it was 10:00 in the morning. They both had smiles on their faces. Beckett sat down at her desk and Castle in his chair.
"So," she whispered hiding her smile, "how'd it go?"
"The boys are psyched. Seriously they're really happy," Castle grinned brightly, what about Lanie?"
"She just about popped in excitement." Beckett laughed slightly, recalling the memory of her friend.
"This is good, really good."
"But but now we just have one more person to convince." Beckett stared anxiously inside Gates' office.
"Right, but remember, that's next week. For now we just have to tell our families later tonight and then when they're all gone it will be just," Castle paused to look around and then lowered his voice even more, "the three of us." He had never seen Kate so happy as she processed his words. She was literally glowing.
///
As the night came Rick and Kate getting ready for the dinner, when they heard a knock on the door. Rick hurried and opened it while Beckett finished brushing through her hair.
"Hello darling!" Martha greeted. Behind her was Alexis and Jim.
"Did you all carpool together?" Castle joked.
"No, we all just met in the parking lot and decided to walk up together."
"Oh, well that's convenient. Come in, come in."
The three of them came in just as Kate emerged from Rick's office. She looked beautiful. When she saw her father and he saw her they smiled and hugged.
"It's good to see you dad." Kate beamed.
"You too, Katie. We haven't done something like this in a while."
Kate then went on to greet both Alexis and Martha, whom she embraced as well. Since the table was already set and the food was ready, everyone sat down and began to eat and chat. Both Kate and Rick kept throwing looks at each other, unsure of when or how to bring the topic up. Castle felt confident that everything would go ok, but he saw out of the corner of his eye, Kate's knee shaking up and down. He lowered his hand and gently placed it on her thigh to calm her shaking. He met her eyes and could see that they were glossing over. He would've never imagined this would be so hard for her. She was so afraid to tell him because she thought he wouldn't want it even though they decided that they wanted to try. He could see how worried she was right now and it killed him inside. He wanted to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be ok. Because it will be. He hopes that after they tell their family and Gates next week, she'll be able to see that everything will be the way it's supposed to be.
He looked to her again and sent her a nod of encouragement. She nodded back to him and placed her hand over his on her thigh and mouthed a 'please.' She wanted him to want to be the one to tell them. And if that's what she wanted then he would. He would do anything for her.
"You know," Castle began, "We, me and Kate, have more of a secret agenda than just wanting us to all be together again. We actually have some news," he paused again, swallowing nervously as everyone had their eyes on him. He looked to Kate once more and saw how much distress she was in and just spit it out, "We're having a baby."
No one spoke, each one of them processing the information. The silence carried on and to Kate it was agonizing. She scooted her chair back, wiped at a few tears, and hurried away from the table and into the bedroom. Rick looked back and saw her round the corner. He looked back to everyone and was kind of frustrated.
"Hello? No response? Really?" He let out. Martha was the first to speak.
"Sorry kiddo, it was- I wasn't expecting it."
"This whole process has barely even begun for us and already it's been challenging for Kate. If you guys oppose it than just say so."
"I don't oppose it," Alexis contributed, "I'm really, really happy for you guys. I guess I didn't answer right away was because I was waiting for someone else to start. I just didn't know the right way to congratulate you two."
"I'm happy for you too. I'm excited to be a grandpa," Jim added, "I was just in awe of how big my little girl is. It just- it doesn't feel real that she's going to be a mother soon."
"I'm delighted as well Richard. I'm just- I'm proud of you. And happy, and I hope Katherine will forgive us."
"I'm going to go talk to her." Castle softly smiled, excusing himself from the table. He walked quietly through his office and could hear her soft cries. He frowned, his mind wishing he could take all of this hardship away for her. He slowly approached her and sat down on the bed beside her, placing a gentle hand on her leg.
"I miss my mom." Kate cried, her hands covering her face.
"Oh Kate." Castle tried himself trying not to get too emotional.
"I wish she was here, with me. To help me through this. It's not fair."
"I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling, I want you to know that I'm here."
"I know, and that makes me feel a little better, but there's just this big hole in me that she could complete."
"I'm so sorry."
"It's ok..."
"I talked to everyone after you left," he paused as she met his eyes, worried, "I scolded them a little bit," he stopped again and spotted her small smile, "Long story short they're in support just shocked, but happy for us. I made sure."
"Thank you." She whispered, leaning her tired head on his shoulder.
"You feel ready to go back out there? If not I'll stay with you till you do."
"No, I-I feel ready."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." They then stood up and he placed his hand in hers. They would get through this. Before they headed out Rick placed a soft kiss on Kate's lips and they both grinned. They then headed back out.
Sorry, i just finished my semester and I have a break for Christmas so I will be more present. I know I've said that before but I mean it this time, so please bare with me. This chapter didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted it to but if you guys enjoy it that's all that matters !
:)