When I woke up I was confused for three reasons.
1) I wasn't in my bed.
2) I couldn't move. And-
3) I wasn't alone.
Before I opened my sleepy eyes, all the events of yesterday came back to me in a steady stream. The fight with Tyler, dinner with Ben's family, throwing up said dinner, and-
I snapped my eyes wide open to find myself tangled in Ben. His chin rested on my head, my hands fisted his shirt, his arms wrapped around my waist, and my ankles were locked around his. He looked serene and almost younger in his sleep, but then I remembered his new muscles and told myself he isn't the six year old I met on the playground anymore. For a few minutes I relaxed into him. He was secure and strong, as if he could fight off anything that would dare harm us.
But then I remembered I have a doctors appointment today. I guess there are some things my best friend couldn't fight off for me. With a reluctant sigh, I inhaled the scent of Ben and tried to detach myself from him.
After a few minutes of careful movements and Ben stirring, I made it off of the bed without waking him. I scribbled a note for him on a piece of notebook paper I found in his desk.
Went home. Thanks for everything :) -B
I sat the note down in the now empty spot on the bed, and I pulled the blanket back over Ben, pressing a kiss to his forehead. I threw on my clothes from yesterday and left Ben's pajamas on Bree's bed. The only noise in the whole house was the hum of cool air spilling out of the vents as I left. Once I got in my car I checked my cell phone. No texts, no calls; only a reminder for my appointment was displayed on the phone screen.
I had about ten minutes to get there before I would be late. I threw my phone on the dash, and I sped my way to Hope Mercy.
******
"Nice to see you again," Dr. Jackson said, "On time."
"What's the verdict, doc?" I asked, sitting across from him.
"Well from your bone marrow sample we took the last time you came, we were able to determine what you're dealing with." He took a deep breath before he continued. "You have acute myeloid leukemia or AML."
"Okay..." I was gripping onto the armrests of the chair. "Dr. Jackson..."
"Yes, Bex?" His curious eyes watched me with concern.
On the way here I decided it was time to tell him about my symptoms. Maybe he could help me deal with them.
"I've been having some symptoms."
"What kind of symptoms?" He opened up my file; he had a pen at the ready.
"Nosebleeds, I get tired and out of breath easy, bruising, and I can't keep food down." I couldn't look him in the eyes.
"And when did the symptoms start?"
"The day after my first appointment." I whispered.
His scribbling down what I said ceased. "What? That's been weeks ago!"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
He's usually patient and calm, but right now he could roast marshmallows with the flames coming out of his eyes.
"Do you understand how serious this is?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was scared, okay!" I shouted, starting to lose my temper too.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I think I might be a little bit emotionally invested in you."
"What? Why?" I snapped my head up.
"The patients I usually deal with are well in their old age. You're the youngest patient I've ever had." He rubbed his temples. "It's just not fair, you have so much to live for! I..."
"I'm sorry I worried you."
"I can prescribe some medicine that will help ease your symptoms. They won't completely go away, but it'll help."
"Okay."
Next we discussed the best treatment plans and set a date for me to start. June 3rd- a couple days after school is over- will be the day I start my first round of chemo. I'll have to stay in the hospital for a month, and from there we will see how everything goes.
It was surreal and frightening talking about the treatment. I'll literally have poison running through my veins to kill the cancer- if it doesn't kill me first. He also told me some effects the chemo will have on me, and that's why I need to stay in the hospital for a month. He was reading out statistics to me, but I could barely hear him. The same question kept sliding across my conscious.
"Am I going to die?"
He was stunned by the question to say the least. He took his glasses off of the bridge of his nose and set them down on his desk.
"There is always the possibility," He said hesitantly. "But I'm not going to let that happen."
With a tear streaming down my cheek, I gave him a weak smile.
******
When I got home Tyler was nowhere to be found; Christin wasn't there either. I had about six messages from Ben asking why I left and if I was okay. I reassured him everything was fine.
I had just finished with my shower and put on some pjs when my phone went off. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was my father.
"Hey."
"Hey, sweetheart," Just by the tone of his voice I knew what was coming. "Look I know me and mom have been gone for awhile now, but we are going to have to stay in New York for a little bit longer."
"That's fine." I sighed, too tired to be angry.
To be honest I should be used to this by now.
"Thank you for understanding, sweetheart. See you in a few days."
"Bye."
After the line went dead, I grabbed my laptop and started googling acute myeloid leukemia. I was drowning in information. After an hour I started to get a headache- from the laptop or the thought of my treatment, I have no clue. I pushed my laptop away; soon my eyelids started to get heavy. Just as I was about to let my conscious be scooped up by sleep, my phone went off again.
It's a text and the caller ID read 'Sexy'.
Hey Angel Eyes ;)
Axel? When did you put your number in my phone?
I got bored when you went to the bathroom Friday.
What do you want?! It's been a long day.
Well lucky for you I can make it better. Look out your window.
I got off of my bed, and I quickly pulled back the curtains from my window. Sure enough, there was Axel in his leather jacket standing in my back lawn. I sat down in the window seat and pushed my window open.
"What are you doing here?" I yelled down to him, annoyed.
"If I remember correctly, I'm supposed to get you to fall in love with me." I could see his smirk from here.
"Like I said before, good luck with that."
"I don't need luck, Angel Eyes. I just need you down here in ten minutes and ready to go."
"Where are you taking me?"
"You'll have to come down here to find out."
Despite my bad day I found myself smiling. "Okay."
I hurriedly shut my window and got dressed. I put on a black lace shirt, ripped jeans, and my combat boots. I grabbed my leather jacket before I walked out the door. I met Axel, who was leaning against his motorcycle, in my driveway.
When I got close he pulled the hair tie free from my hair. My waves hit my shoulders softly, and Axel smirked.
"I like your hair down."
"Where are we going?" I ask, fighting off my blush.
"It's a surprise." Axel wiggled his eyebrows.
"Don't make me regret this."
"Nobody regrets anything when I'm around." He winked.
"I highly doubt that." I said as I got on the motorcycle.
"I knew you couldn't resist." He handed me his helmet with a triumphant smile.
"Shut up and drive." I buckled the helmet and looped my arms around his waist.
I felt him laugh against me as we took off through the night. It was a long and quiet drive, but I didn't mind. The wind and trees rushing past us made me feel the most exhilarated I'd felt all day.
In about twenty five minutes we pulled up to a wooden and brick building. There was a small parking lot with a dozen or so cars in the spaces. A sign hung above the door on the building that read, Lou's Bar.
"You brought me to a bar, so I would fall in love with you?" I asked incredulously as Axel was finding a parking space.
"No. I brought you to a bar to have some fun with me."
"Unless you have a fake ID I don't think we can be in there."
"I know the bartender. It's cool."
"I don't drink."
"Live a little, Angel Eyes." Axel said, taking his helmet off for me.
The words strike right into my heart. Live a little. Dr. Jackson said he wouldn't let me die, but he can only do so much. There's a good chance I won't make it through the chemo. I better live before I die.
I grabbed his hand with some newfound boldness. As soon as we walked into the bar, the strong smell of alcohol burned my nose. It was dimly lit by blue and purple lights inside, there was a bunch of tough looking biker guys, and girls in too tight clothing. I looked down at my clothes and felt out of place. Axel must have noticed my unease.
"You're the prettiest girl in the room." He whispered into my hair from behind me.
I smiled and walked up to the bar and sat down. Axel sat on the stool beside of me. The bartender made her way to us. She was wearing jeans and a band tee; half of her blond hair was down and the other half was in a braid. Her kohl rimmed eyes latched onto Axel.
"Ax man! It's good to see you!" She beamed a pearly white smile.
"You too, Lily." He smiled lazily.
I almost laughed; she had such a delicate name for a tough looking girl. The vibe 'you don't want to mess with me' radiated off of her. After a minute her eyes studied me.
"Who's this?"
"My girl, Bex."
"I'm not your girl." I glared at Axel.
"Yet." He smirked, and I rolled my eyes with a snort.
"I like her already, Ax." Lily said, while wiping off a glass. "She's feisty. So what will you guys be drinking?"
"We'll take two shots of tequila."
"Coming right up."
After Lily was done pouring the shots, she handed one to Axel and one to me. Axel turned his back quickly, but I hesitated. He looked at me with challenging eyes. Without thinking about it too much, I threw my head back and downed the shot. It burned all of the way down my throat, and I shook my head.
"That's how you do a shot!" Lily laughed.
Axel laughed too and before I knew it, I was laughing. The shots kept coming and so did the laughter. Within minutes I felt lighter, freer. I felt on top of the world. What cancer problems? Axel dragged me over to a pool table in the corner.
"Have you ever played before?"
"No." I shook my head, and continued to shake my head, fascinated with the movement.
Axel laughed at me. "Are you good?"
"Never better." I walked over to him and tripped over my own feet.
"Woah." He caught me right when I slammed into his chest, holding me tight.
"Whoops." I giggled. "Stupid boots."
"I don't think it was the boots, Angel Eyes."
"Whatever," I rolled my eyes. "Aren't you going to teach me how to play?"
"Maybe another time. I have a feeling giving you a stick would end hazardously for everyone."
"Oh come on!" I pouted and snaked my arms around his neck.
"Another time, I promise." He looked down at me with amused eyes; he put his hands on my hips.
I made an impatient noise and nuzzled my face in his chest. I looked up at him to see a smirk on his face. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop looking at his lips, or thinking about how soft they were when I had kissed him. I lifted my head so my eyes were level with his. I leaned in and my lips met his. But instead of kissing me back, he put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away.
"What? I thought this is what you wanted?" I moved in to kiss him again, but he stopped me.
"You're drunk."
"So?" I tried again, and he stopped me again.
"I want you to want me when you're sober." His hands held me firmly at arms length.
"But I do want you. I want you right now!" I whined.
"That's the tequila talking."
I crossed my arms when he let me go. He dragged me back to the bar; he picked me up and sat me down on a bar stool. He pulled out his phone, but I was too busy looking at my thumbs to bother listening to his conversation.
"What are you doing?" He looked at me incredulously.
"Thumbs are so amazing! Look at what I can do with them!" I put up both of my hands and started twirling my thumbs fast.
"She only had three shots. How is she this drunk?" Lily asked.
"I don't know, but it's gonna be a long night." He raked a hand through his hair.
I just kept laughing and twirling my thumbs. After a hour, or a minute- I have no idea- Axel grabbed my thumbs. I stopped and looked into his pretty eyes.
"Angel Eyes, it's time to go." He said like I was a child; I would have been more annoyed, but he looked too hot to be upset.
"Okay!" I hopped off the stool with a giggle.
He walked me outside with one arm around my waist. We walked up to a yellow taxi and got in.
"Where we going?"
"I'm taking you home."
"What about your bike?" I asked upset- I loved his motorcycle.
"Lily said she would drop it off by my house in her truck. I'm sober enough to drive, but I don't want to be halfway down the highway and you're too drunk to hold on to me."
"Awwwwwwwww! You're so hot when you're worried about me. Actually you're hot all of the time, but still it's hot." I inched closer to him.
He laughed. "This is gonna be hard."
"What will?"
"Trying to keep you in check... and keeping myself in check, too." He bit his lip.