Chapter 29
Despite the light drizzle of rain pecking my body I felt like I was burning from the inside out. A blazing fire of loathing and and anger mixed together in my chest, creating a dark feeling I wasn't sure I could explain with words. Nothing could describe the dark hatred swirling in my chest.
Hatred towards Wes for proving what I already knew, for making me think he was different.
I hate him!
I loathe the fùcking bastard! I hate him for knowing so much about me. I hate how he slipped past my guard enough to hurt me. I hate how I allowed him to venture further despite the logical part of me that screamed no. I hate how I ran out of the fair crying like a teenager experiencing her first break up, not bothering to call a cab as I ran through the crowded streets in shoes that pinched my feet. Mostly I hate how he didn't call after me or chase me, not even a text.
You'd think after throwing my past at me he'd have the decency to make sure I was safe. Rubbing my cold arms I shivered from the brisk wind as the rain grew heavier. My clothes clung to my body like a second skin, weighting my already sluggish body down and the cars speeding by didn't exactly help. I was cold, wet, tired and apparently lost.
Twisting my head around I took in my surroundings unsure where I was, the rain blurred the already dark streets restricting my vision as well.
"Just fùcking perfect." I sighed in frustration
Pressing my soggy body against a nearby building I rummaged through my bag for my phone when it began to buzz.
"Hello?"
"You ran off again!" a very angry Carrie shouted
Wincing at her loudness I wondered if We- the jerk mentioned why I ran off. "Is it because you don't like me?" she asked catching me by surprise
"No." I immediately denied the allegation "Actually I like you a lot it's just Wes and I had a fight and I really don't want to be near him right now." I admitted in a broke voice as the tears stung my eyes again
"That's why he's wearing ice cream on his face." Carrie giggled "Alright then but I expect to spend more time with you soon."
Despite the stray tear trailing down my face I smiled "Of course, bye."
Hanging up I quickly dialed a cab as a cold shiver racked my body, warning me that walking in the rain would get me sick. Peeling myself off the wall I squinted at the corner signs barely making out the address for the operator through the down pour. Luckily the cab didn't take long to reach me as the temperature dropped drastically and the light drizzle turned into sideways rain from hell. Hopping in the front I shivered from the cold in my bones as the warmth of the car heated the icy within me.
"Want me to turn up the heat?" the cabbie asked
I didn't notice my teeth were chattering till I attempted to speak, sealing my mouth shut I nodded grateful I didn't have to wait too long in the rain. It took a while but I finally felt warm and the random shudders racking my body ceased enough for me to relax on the seat with a sigh.
"Bad night, huh?"
"You could say that." I replied softly
The buzzing of my phone rang through the dark cab, retrieving it from my bag I blinked at the message:
U okay?
This man had balls to be a dick one minute then text me later asking if I was okay as if he hadn't seen the handy work when I cried just before he got ice cream to the face. Gripping the phone tightly in my hands I typed in my response:
Fùck you.
His response came quickly that I figured he expected my response:
Where r u?
Snorting at his response I repeated my earlier response before tucking my phone back into my bag as it buzzed again. The driver sent a curious glance my way as I ignored the buzzing. When the buzzing stopped I felt disappointed that he was giving up so easily when my phone began to ring, glancing at the screen I shoved it back into my bag when I spotted Wes's name.
The driver howled with laughter earning a questioning gaze from me "Nothing like a woman's wrath to break a man's pride." he said with a grin in my direction
Quicker than I anticipated I arrived home and I couldn't be happier, paying the cabbie I rushed upstairs hoping I had been Wes back. I've had enough of the ass for one night, I thought as I stepped into the dark room. I didn't bother switching any lights on as I stripped off my wet clothes and slipped into a worn college shirt. Too exhausted to think of anything else I dived under the covers as my phone rang, ignoring the annoying sound I turned to my side as the heavy pitter patter of the rain hitting the windowed lulled me to sleep.
Sneezing for the umpteenth time today I mentally cursed myself for being careless enough to walk in the rain. Waking up this morning I felt as if my head was going to explode, my eyes ached from my small cry fest, my body ached in as if iI had ran back home, to summarize it up I feel like I was run over by a Mac truck.
"Amy!" I shouted wincing as my head throbbed
In seconds the plump woman scurried into the room "Yes, Ms. Sparks?"
Reaching for the aspirin in my desk I looked up for a bottle of water "Send someone else for my meeting with Donna later and double check on the reservations for the book signing tomorrow."
Downing two pills I chased them down with a generous amount of water, since my early rise this morning I've downed more aspirin than I'd care to admit, nothing working in chasing the pounding in my head. Rubbing my temples in attempt to lessen the pounding I noticed Amy still standing in front of me. Raising a curious brow I could have sworn she smiled, a small curve of her thin thins twitch upwards.
"There's someone here to see you."
"Send them away." I ordered dismissively, not in any mood for company
"He says it's urgent."
Sighing in frustration at the unexpected visit I nodded, if I couldn't handle it I'll just ask to postpone this 'urgent' matter. I leaned back into the chair, my eyelids weighing down with sleep and I was just about to submit to my exhaustion when a knock on my door caused me to snap my eyes open.
"Sleepin' on the job, K?"
Propping my elbows on my desk I stood up as Aaron made his way further into the room, the smile on his face flattering as he took in my appearance.
"You look like crap."
"I feel like it too." I grumbled as I walked around the desk immediately feeling Aaron's long arms coming around me.
Sighing against his chest I felt a familiar warm tingle as his hands tightened around me, his strong cologne invading my nostrils. It wasn't like Wes's musky, manly scent that seemed so natural; Aaron's scent was pure expensive, bottled cologne. I frowned at the thought of Wes, I've tried keeping him out of my thoughts and out of nowhere he enters my mind.
"What's wrong babe?" he asked when I nuzzled my face into his silky dress shirt, as if I could seek refugee from thinking of Wes there.
"What isn't? I laughed humorlessly
"I was hoping you'd be in a good mood when I came by." Aaron muttered under his breath
Stepping back I looked into his soft brown eyes, the seriousness causing me to take another step back "Something tells me you aren't here for a friendly visit."
Dropping his arms from around me he placed the soft hand on his neck, his gaze locking with mine confirming my assumption. Crossing my arms across my chest I couldn't contain my wariness as I awaited to hear whatever had him so nervous. Sucking in a deep breath he nodded, motioning for me to sit he walked so he was standing in front of my desk. Leaning my butt on the desk I tilted my chin up readying myself for the bad news.
"I called Tyler, hoping to convince him to stay in California rather than come to the wedding but he is more determined to come." he said, watching my expression before he added in a gentle voice "He knew I was calling on your behalf so he's going to be arriving earlier then he originally planned."
"How early?" I asked in a small voice
He took a step closer, his body wedged in between my knees but keeping a respectable distance away "After tomorrow."
Squeezing my eyes shut I felt the throbbing in my temple grow fiercer with the new information. Aaron's long fingers entwined with mine, pulling my arms from their crossed position and I didn't fight him. Tyler is coming in twenty-four hours!
The same Tyler who strung me along like a puppet till he grew bored with me and after he humiliated me. Stripped me of any self esteem I carried at the young age. The same man who was vicious enough to shred my image and reputation in front of millions of people by turning to the press, claiming to have dirt on the youngest Sparks daughter. My heart clenched in my chest recalling my last encounter with Tyler, cornering me at my home garden. Gloating about how I'll be the laughing stock of New York, sneering as I cried asking why he would break my trust in him after shattering my heart. I remember crying behind the bushes that night as my mother sent the servants searching for me.
"I can't see him." I sobbed uncertain when I began to cry or when Aaron started to rub my back
"I'm sorry K, so sorry I couldn't keep him away but I can promise I'll be here for you when he arrives." he assured me
Sniffing I felt my chest tighten, my breath catching in my throat as I thought of facing my worst nightmare again, brushing his arm away I felt like the broken girl from high school. The same girl who skipped graduation fearing she would bump into him and face his wrath again.
"I don't know if I could face him so soon and then endure his presence during Stacy's wedding." I admitted in a shaky voice, lowering my gaze to the floor I felt my hands trembling as I slid them out of his grip "I'm scared Aaron." I confessed
"Oh baby-"
A knock on the door cut him off, Amy began to apologize when the person behind her pushed past her, holding a large bouquet of pink tipped roses and entered the room. The stormy grey eyes fixed on Aaron and I before settling on me, the anger clear in his eyes. Guilt washed over me as I realized Aaron and I's compromising position. For a second I thought of explaining that it isn't what it looked like when I recalled last night, the anger returning in waves and washing away any guilt.
Sliding off my desk I cleared my throat "What are you doing here?" I asked
His eyes narrowed on Aaron and it was obvious he didn't like him "Who are you?"
"Aaron Reynolds, a friend of Khloe's." Aaron introduced himself
Wes's eyes darted to me before returning to Aaron as if he were an animal readying to attack "Well Aaron Reynolds I'd like to speak to my girlfriend if you don't mind." he said in a menacing tone that was, in no way friendly
"I can choose who I-"
Aaron shook his head a playful smirk on his lips "It's okay, we're done anyway." he said and kissed my forehead "I'll see you soon K."
Nodding I watched him cross the room and pass Wes who watched him leave, his tense stance only relaxing when Amy shut the door behind him.
"What do you want?" I repeated
"I came to apologize for last night." he answered, placing the sweet fragranced roses in my arms
Without sparing a glance at them I slammed the bouquet behind me and crossed my arms across my chest, the scowl on my face firmly in place "Is that all?"
"Why was the guy so close to you?" he asked
Pressing my lips together to stop from answering him I watched his eyes narrow on me and I was pleased that I was annoying him.
"You were crying." he stated as he lifted his hand up swiping a stray tear from my cheek
Swatting his hand away, I dragged the back of my hand across my cheeks furious that he seen me cry not once, but twice already. His features softened, regret replacing his anger and he raised his arms up intending to touch me when I stepped put of his reach.
"My behavior last night was inexcusable and I don't expect you to forgive me so quickly-"
"I won't." I hissed darkly, satisfied when he flinched at the venom in my tone
Recomposing himself he gave a curd nod, a small crease forming between his brows "It was a low blow and I deserved that slap but I want to apologize not just for my behavior but also for hurting you. I feel like a world class dick head and I'm willing to do anything for your forgiveness. Just name it."
The pleading tone and his desperate expression would have normally broke my resolve but with the latest news of Tyler coming I couldn't feel anything other than hatred towards Wes, despite his apology. Although he admits he was in the wrong it doesn't erase his words from my mind, the same words that haunted me last night. Reminding me how pathetic I am as I wondered if I set myself up to get hurt by dating men like this?
"No."
"No?" he repeated confused by my response
Straightening my posture, I tilted my head up so our gazes locked "I won't forgive you for taking a cheap shot at me just because you felt cornered, I'm not your punching bag."
"I was stressed, tired and not thinking clearly." he explained
"That doesn't make it okay, Wes." I argued with a shake of my head "I don't deserve that sort of crap."
The last comment was meant for me as well as Wes. I deserved someone who would care about me and my feelings, not take a shot at me when I'm vulnerable. My relationship with Greg was just that and although Tyler was mostly kind and romantic he eventually showed his true colors and Wes has too. I would never had expected Wes to turn out to be exactly like the others. No, I thought he was different -out of my comfort zone but still special in his own unique way. That's what stung more, being blindsided with such an attack when I never would have imagined Wes capable of such a thing.
I thought he cared, a small voice added.
"You're right there is no excuse for my behavior and that's why I want to make it up to you, romantic dinners, massages, mushy movies, the whole shindig I promise."
Part of me wanted to forgive him, to mark this as a one time thing but another part -the part that has hardened from the men in my life- stood her ground, refusing to fall into another jerk's arms and risk the same pain. Better to back out now before he wedges himself deeper into my heart and creates further damage, damage I'm unsure I could bare.
"No."
The small hopeful smile crumbled from his face "Kitty, please-"
"No!" I shouted finding myself torn between protecting my heart and caving into the temptation that was Wes. "Although you over stepped the boundaries you were right, my choice in men is shitty and that includes you. You are no different than either men I've dated and I will not be sucked into a relationship where I am constantly insulted and attacked."
The dangerous combination of anger, confusion and hurt swirled in my chest; the fusion only serving to irritate me further. Raising my index finger up, I jabbed his chest hating how my heart leaped against my ribs as his musky scent tickled my senses. Even angry I couldn't contain my reaction to his presence.
"I'm done."
Immediately he reached a hand out to grab me but I snatched my hand away. Taking two steps backwards I felt his stare boring into me but I made up my mind last night. Laying in bed I realized our situation, the situation I forced us into; two opposites together. Although I did enjoy our time together -up until last night- I am under no illusions that we could put our differences aside and form a healthy and normal relationship, but there is nothing healthy or even normal about us.
Tilting my chin up I steeled myself for what was to come "Thank you for your services these past couple of weeks but I've decided to terminate this deal."
"You aren't serious, are you?" he gaped
"I am." I nodded, keeping the anger out of my voice as I spoke
"All because I screwed up once?" he asked in disbelief
Running a hand through the bottom of my ponytail I had to remind myself that I was at work, that means no outbursts. Stay professional, I reminded myself. "It's for the best." I said, to both Wes and I
Huffing in frustration he shoved his hands into the front of his jeans, twisting his head away from me he seemed to be restraining himself.
"What about Stacy's wedding?" he asked in a strained tone that reflected his obvious dislike to what I said
"I'll figure something out."
Twisting his head in my direction he searched my features, looking for something I was clueless to. "I think you should think further about this."
"I've thought about it long enough."
Crossing the small space between us, he snatched my hands into his, pressing his chest to mine causing me to lean against the edge of the desk. My breath caught in my throat at the sudden proximity of our bodies, pulling my trembling hands out of his loose grip I placed them on his chest in a fetal attempt to distance our bodies.
"Don't throw this away so quickly." he whispered harshly
I swallowed in hopes of moistening my parched throat, it was as if a pair of imaginary hands gripped my lungs refusing them the oxygen they needed. My heart constricted in my chest at the pleading, desperation on his face. In that moment I knew that despite the steel walls I've set around my heart Wes has somehow squeezed himself through, slipping past my defenses without my knowledge. The thought alone had my vision blurring. We've spent a couple of weeks together, most of that time was spent arguing or avoiding him yet he miraculously slipped in and given enough time he could....
"No, no, no." I shook my head furiously, refusing to entertain the idea of Wes reaching that level
A pair of strong arms circled my waist pulling me against a hard body and for a moment -a fraction of a minute- I forfeited into the warm, inviting touch before realizing who he was. Placing my flat palms on his chest I gave a hard push successfully putting a gap between us. He stumbled backwards, wide eyed at my unexpected action.
"Get out!" I shouted feeling the hot tears streaking my cheeks
He stood froze in place, his eyes following the hot tears as they slid freely down my face "Let me-"
Shaking my head furiously, I stepped back when I spotted his arm lifting in my direction. Raising my hand to my face I wiped my wrt streaked face, noticing my fingers trembling. Anger coiled in my chest at the sight of my hands, the scene occurring now and the realization that Wes found away around my defenses.
"Get out, get out!" I screamed feeling my heart clench at the crushed expression on his face
The way his brows bent over his glazed, soft grey eyes that took in every tear that escaped. He gulped, the sound echoing in the eerily quiet room. Running a hand through his untamed hair he seemed to me mulling over what I said.
"Okay." he finally spoke in a soft, detached voice that felt like a stab in my chest
In a few swift strides he was across the room, standing by the door with his hand on the door knob. When he glanced over his I felt a wave of guilt wash over me as a piercing pain jolted in my chest
"I really am sorry." he said and turned to leave
With a heavy heart I watched him step out of the room where a few of my employees stood gawking at me, winced when he shut the door softly behind him causing a silence to still around me.
The silence felt like a brick wall settling over me, the pressure suffocating me just before I slid down on the floor. Sobs shaking my body as I wrapped my arms around my knees, attempting to wrap my mind on what just happened. Coming up short I dropped my head against my knees and cried in frustration.
"Khloe?"
The voice sounded in my ears but I didn't bother to glance up or even try composing myself, I sat and openly wept at my sudden discovery about my feelings for Wes. For Tyler's arrival in just another day and for the jumbled up emotions wrestling inside me. I felt like a puzzle piece, pieces tossed around and clueless to how to solve the riddle that was my feelings.
A pair of arms circled around me, engrossing me against a broad chest and I didn't fight him when he rubbed my back, while whispering for me to explain what happened. Throwing my arms around his neck I wept into his shirt, tears staining his shirt as I shook against him but if he minded he didn't speak up.
"I.....can't do....it ag-gain...." I hiccuped, as another round of tremors shook my body
"Shhh. It's okay baby, I'm here." Aaron cooed as his arms tightened around me
***************
In the last chapter you all were on team 'castrate Wes' but what about now?
P.S. this story is not edited so if you spot any mistakes feel free to point it out but please DO NOT be rude! I understand there are mistakes and I appreciate every correction but that doesn't mean it's alright for you to take that as an opportunity to be mean. Behind this screen is a person -points at self- and I don't appreciate the people who are being rude, you know who you are! As for the kind people who consider my feelings, thank you :)