Never fall for a heart that doesn't beat as loudly as you do for it.
- perry poetry
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Chapter 50
Lauren's POV
"So, the rumors... was it all true?" Lucy finally met my gaze. We were left alone in Simon's office to talk things out about the PR we're about to do.
"Some." I answered and look away.
"And some are not?"
"Camila and I... I knew her since college. We were together back then but things never ended well between us."
Lucy nod her head, "Now it all makes sense why you cared so much about her."
"It's the least thing I could do for her."
"You still love her?"
I look at Lucy and she's looking back at me, waiting for my answer.
"I'm trying not to."
Lucy's about to open her mouth to say something but then closes it seconds after. Silence surround us for a minute before Lucy breaks it.
"I'm proud to say that I don't ship Camila with Shawn. They have no absolute chemistry. Like if you'll ask me to rate them from 1 to 100, I'd say -100." I know she's trying to lighten the mood which didn't fail cause I ended up from being serious to smiling from ear to ear.
"Are you saying that because you knew Camila and I had history and trying to make me feel better or that's pure honesty?"
"Pure and honest judgement. No shit, have you seen their pictures? Camila's too gay for him, honestly."
I giggled, "I couldn't agree more."
Lucy and I made a high five while laughing as we continue bickering Shawn for the next few hours. My conversation with her is so smooth and genuine like we've known each other for a very long time now. She easily makes me laugh without even trying. I love how she quirked her eyebrows when she gets serious and how her eyes smile when she heard something good. I love how she flips her hair constantly like it's her habit that she's not aware of. And there's no doubt that there's something about her that attracts me. Something inside me wants to know more about her— the real her. The real Lucy Vives behind the camera.
"Thank you for backing me, Lucy."
"It's nothing, fangirl. And don't worry, this PR won't last long. Once we convinced everyone that everything is just a pure misunderstanding then we're all good. I just really find an excuse to hang out with you."
Lucy get back on her feet, "I'll call you when it's time for us to make a show. Until then, Ciao, my friend." I watch her walk up to the door when I suddenly remember the date I bailed on.
"Wait!"
She stopped from her tracks and turn around. There's a grin plastered on her lips, "Miss me already, fangirl?"
"I'm sorry that I bailed on you on our first date. Can I at least make up to you? Is there something I could do?"
"Take care of yourself and smile. Always smile, fangirl. You looked beautiful when you do." And with that, Lucy exit the office.
I rest my head against the wall silently thanking god that I found a solution to this mess. At least now I feel relieve knowing things will get better soon.
I pulled out my phone from my pocket and I saw Ally's dozen of worried text messages. She already saw the video online so I texted her saying everything is fine and that Lucy helped me. After sending my message for her, I slip my phone back to my pocket and exit Simon's office.
I saw Alfred standing by the lobby. I called him to make my presence known as I walk towards him. He gave me a smile and a tap on my shoulder.
"I'm quite impressed that you actually made your way around Simon."
"Actually, it's Lucy who made all the talking. I was just standing behind her."
Alfred opened the passenger door for me, "Still. A plan without you will never work out so give yourself some credits."
"Thank you, Alfred."
I settle myself inside as Alfred jogged his way towards the driver's seat. Camila's schedule is surprisingly clear so we headed straight home.
I look at the rear-view mirror to check on Camila and she's sitting there quietly. Something's bothering her and I think it's about Shawn again. And as her friend, I take it as my job to make her happy when she's sad so I pulled out Camila's second phone in my back pocket and scroll through the contacts until I found Shawn's number. I don't know if this is a good idea but all I know is that it'll make Camila feel better.
I dialed his number before handing it over to her.
"Camz,"
She tore her eyes away from the window and look at me.
"I know you miss him."
Camila look at the phone then to me. Her eyes reflecting this kind of emotion I find it so hard to read.
"Take it." I said, "I don't want to see you sad the whole day."
Shawn's already on the other line and it took Camila a few seconds to take the phone from my hand.
I turn back to my seat and Alfred took a quick glance on me. His eyes screaming worriedness and I know why. I smiled at him, silently telling him that I'm okay.
There's a silence in the backseat. I glance at Camila through the mirror and she's listening intently to whatever Shawn's saying but it's a good thing that they're not arguing anymore. I just hope that things will get better between them so I could see that bright smile on her face again.
"If you want us to be okay then you should go ahead and apologize to Lauren. I don't like what you did back there. You can't just hurt someone and act like nothing happened."
Silence. And I guess that was the sign of calm before the storm.
"Yes, her again!"
"You know what?! You're the one who's being unbelievably childish here!"
"Yes! Yes, Shawn! Because you knew I was right and you were wrong!"
And then Camila suddenly ended the call and handed the phone back to me.
"Don't call him ever again." She said firmly and I just nod my head and decided to give Camila some space.
***
"Mommy! Lawren! You're back!" Clark launch himself towards us. Camila pick him up and started showering him with kisses.
"I miss seeing your face so much, tiger."
Clark bump their nose together and I swear that was the most adorable thing I've ever seen today.
"Me too, mommy. I actually can't sleep."
Camila beamed a toothless smile, "Because I'm not around?"
"No, because Lawren is not around."
The smile on her face quickly disappeared as I slip out a small laugh.
"Well, ouch." I said my side comment out loud causing Camila to glare at me for a few seconds before she hand Clark over.
"I am really offended right now, little man. You broke my heart, just so you know."
We both giggled and do a high five, "I guess that makes me the most favorite mommy, right big guy?"
"Yes, Lawren!"
There's something flash in Camila's eyes but it quickly vanished before I could read it.
"Remember this day, you two. Especially you, Clark Zachary Cabello. I don't know who you are the moment I get my own daughter."
Clark's eyes widen. "Am I going to have a baby sister?"
"Yes! And by that time I don't know you."
"Yey! Are you making my baby sister with Lawren?"
Camila and I got choked.
"Awk...ward." I cleared my throat before turning my gaze to Clark.
"Friends don't sleep together, tiger."
"But I sleep with Vero and Afred." He argued back, making us laugh.
"If you want to have your baby sister then you have to ask Shawn and mommy to do it."
Clark responded in the most funny way. He fake a gag that I ended up bursting a loud laugh.
"Ew?" Camila asked, "That's how you were made, tiger."
"No!"
"Yes, you came from Shawn's two eggs."
"Noooooo!!! I didn't come from his two eggs. There's no way!" The way he's protesting is like Camila's forcing him to eat the most disgusting food in the world.
"Well, it is what it is."
Clark's already at the edge of crying while Camila's surely enjoying every bit of it.
"Nooooooo! I'm way more handsome than Yawn."
"Oh no, you're not. He's the most handsome guy I've ever seen."
"You don't mean that, mommy."
"Yes, I do. Since when did I lie to you?"
He pouted, "But... you love me more than him, right mommy?"
"Nope."
"Nope?"
"That's what I said." Camila shrugged, "Shawn's always grateful to see me unlike someone else who's name rhymes with Clark."
"I am happy to see you, mommy!" Clark pressed.
"So now you're saying that? Nope, it's too late. The damage has been done. You go to your Lauren and I'll go to my Shawn, okay?"
Clark desperately reaching for Camila but the brunette distance herself a little while shaking her head.
"I'm gonna call Shawn now and ask him to give me a daughter who's HAPPY to see ME."
Camila turn her back on us and that's when Clark started to cry. The brown eyed girl burst out laughing before taking Clark from me.
"I'm sorry, mommy's just messing around." The brunette hug her son tighter while rubbing his back gently to stop him from crying.
"I can't believe you made your own son cry."
Camila giggled, "Making him cry is my happiness but Alfred's always scolding me, so..."
I shook my head while smiling.
"Come on, join us." Camila motioned me to come over, so I did. I wrapped my arms around her as we caught Clark in the middle of our embrace.
"Camila?"
I immediately pulled away when I heard Normani's voice echoed around the living room. I turn around and I saw her standing by the door frame.
"Mani!" The brunette called out, obviously surprise at the sudden presence of her friend, "I didn't know you were coming."
Normani took a quick glance on me before settling her eyes on Camila, "I heard what happened. Are you okay?"
Camila kneel on the ground and put Clark down. She cupped her son's face and smile, "Mommy loves you, tiger. Now, can you go with Lauren while mommy and Aunt Mani talk something important? Promise I'll be quick."
Clark nod his head before planting a soft kiss on her cheek, "I love you too, mommy." And then he turns to me and hold my hand.
Camila get back on her feet and gave me a small nod before walking towards Normani. Clark and I headed to his room and settle down on his bed. He rest his little head on my chest while I'm playing with his hair.
"Lawren, where have you been yesterday?"
"New York."
"Is it beautiful there?"
I nod my head and told him everything that makes New York the city of dreams. From the buildings, the places, everything. And I can say that he's enjoying every bit of my story. Our conversation shift from New York City to Shawn and Camila. Unfortunately, Clark saw a few tweets from Camila's fans through Vero's twitter so I ended up telling him that they had a small fight but then I assure him that they will surely fix things.
"I have an idea!" Clark suddenly gets up from the bed, "Let's cheer up mommy."
"How?"
"We'll get dressed as mommy's favorite food and then we'll dance to her favorite song."
Sounds like I'm about to embarrassed myself, "If you're in then I'm in."
"I'm totally in, Lawren!" Clark and I do a fist bumped as we both agreed to do his plan to cheer Camila up.
And now I found myself being a ninja as we try to sneak out of the house without making any sound. When there's no one around the living room, I signal Clark to come out as we run outside as fast as we can. He told me there's a costume store near the house about 10 minutes walk. And I don't even have to ask him what are we dressing for cause I perfectly know what Camila's favorite food is.
After we picked up our consume, we headed back to the house so I could arrange the mixtape we're going to use. I put all the funky songs Camila likes while Alfred's helping Clark dressed up as mini banana. We told him the surprise cheer up plan we laid out and Alfred was so excited about it.
When everything's all set, I dressed up as well as a big banana. Clark and I look at each other before we burst out laughing. I've never done this kind of shit my whole life before, only now.
"You ready, kiddo?"
"I am, Lawren."
"Good. Let's do this and cheer Camila up."
He nodded encouragingly as we both headed to the living room. Alfred walked up to her office while I set the mixtape on my laptop.
"Ready?" He mouthed and we gave him a thumbs up.
Alfred knocked two times on the door before opening it.
"Miss Cabello, can I excuse you for a moment? There's something important waiting for you in the living room."
"Can it wait?"
"I don't think it can wait, Miss."
"Okay, be there in a sec."
Alfred quickly close the door and run towards our direction, "She's coming! She's coming!" He mouthed as he go hide in the corner.
I look at Clark and we both exchange nervous yet excited giggles. Soon, the door open and Camila's brown eyes came in contact with ours.
"Here we go, kiddo."
I press the play button and Single Ladies started playing. Clark and I started wiggling our butts while making this jiggle gesture with our hands. Camila burst out laughing while watching us. And then the song changes to Anaconda. When the chorus came in, I look at Clark.
"When I twerk, you twerk."
He nodded quickly and we started twerking side by side causing everyone to laugh and cheer. And when the song changes again to Twerk It Like Miley, we started doing this random dance moves like we're two worms being thrown in the bottle of salt. I don't know what the fuck we're doing or if it's still considered as a dance moves but seeing Camila dying because of laughter makes every single ounce of dignity and honor I put on the line just for this all worth it.
When the song ended and Classic started playing, I grab the selfie stick from the center table and use it as my mic. I dance through the beat for a moment before walking towards Camila. She's dancing as well while giggling and if I could just picture this very moment and be able to keep this to myself forever then I'll gladly give up everything to do that.
I offer my hand to her and she quickly took it. I lead her in the middle of the living room where we continue dancing as I sing.
"Woo girl, you're shinin'
Like a 5th Avenue diamond
And they don't make you like they used to
You're never goin' out of style
Woo pretty baby
This world might have gone crazy
The way you saved me, who could blame me
When I just wanna make you smile
I wanna thrill ya like Michael
I wanna kiss you like Prince
Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye, like Hathaway
Write a song for you like this
You're over my head, I'm out of my mind
Thinkin' I was born in the wrong time
It's not a rewind, everything is so throwback-ish
I kinda like it, like it
Out of my league, old school chic
Like a moviestar from a silver screen
You're one of a kind, livin' in a world gone plastic
Baby, you're so classic—"
And then the song interrupted when Treasure started playing and that is Clark's cue to snatch Camila away from me and do his thing.
He grabbed the remote control from the couch and use it as his mic while doing this swaggy hand gestures as he sing to his dearest mommy.
"Give me your, give me your, give me your attention baby
I got to tell you a little something about yourself
You're wonderful, flawless, oh you're a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else
Treasure, that is what you are
Mommy, you're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you—"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on." I cut him off, "Stop the song for a moment."
Alfred came in and stop the mixtape from playing.
"What are you doing, dude? She's dancing with me, can't you see?"
"She wants to dance with me, clearly." Clark wrapped his arm around Camila. The brown eyed brunette keep looking back and forth between Clark and I with a questioning look on her face.
"Okay, guys, chill. I'm gonna dance with you two one at a time. No need to fight about it."
"Lawren, let's set this thing straight. She's mine."
"No, she's mine."
"No, mine!"
I shook my head no, "Okay, fine. Why don't we settle this in an old fashion way?"
"Game on, Lawren!"
"Alfred, bring the beat in!" Alfred run towards our direction and press the play button.
And just like that, The Girl Is Mine started playing making Camila laugh. "Oh my god!"
I walk towards her direction and pull her close to me.
"Every night she walks right in my dreams
Since I met her from the start
I'm so proud I am the only one
Who is special in her heart
The girl is mine
The brown eyed girl is mine
I know she's mine
Because the brown eyed girl is mine."
Clark suddenly came in between Camila and I, tearing us apart. With a shrugged, he sings.
"I don't understand the way you think
Saying that she's yours not mine
Sending roses and your silly dreams
Really just a waste of time
Because she's mine
The brown eyed girl is mine
Don't waste your time
Because the brown eyed girl is mine."
We both turned our attention to Camila who's looking at us completely fascinated and very entertained at the show we're currently pulling.
"I love you more than she." Clark sings, taking Camila's hand.
I quickly slap it away and make a playful jealous face, "Well I love you endlessly."
Clark and I look at each other as we both sing together.
"So come and go with me
Two on the town
But we both cannot have her
So it's one or the other
And one day you'll discover
That she's my girl forever and ever."
And then the music stops playing as we turn our eyes back to Camila.
"So Camz, is it him or me?" I asked.
Camila giggled, "Are you seriously asking me to choose between you and him?"
"Yes. And please remember every time he ignored you because of me."
"No! Mommy, think about all the good times I've been a good boy to you."
"Hold on a sec," Camila scratch the back of her head, "I think we have a problem on that one. I can't think of anything cause you've never been a good boy to me."
"Ooooh," Alfred, Vero, Normani, and I tease him making Clark to pout.
"Can I just have you both? You two are important to me. It's like you're making me choose between my banana and my life."
"Of course you can, Camzi. Group hug!"
We run towards Camila and launch ourselves to her causing the three of us to stumble back on the floor with us on top of her.
Laughter surrounds the living room as Camila fight for her life and struggle so hard to get back on her feet.
"So," Camila finally manages to sit straight on the floor after 10 long difficult minutes. Clark's on her lap while I'm sitting next to her. "Who's brilliant idea is this?"
"Me!" Clark raised his hand.
"Care to share how it happened?"
"We want to cheer you up, mommy. I know you're sad because of Yawn so Lawren and I decided to do something to make you happy."
My eyes met Camila's. "Did it work?"
Camila nod her head, smiling. "Yes. Thank you, Lauren."
I'm about to say something when I felt my phone vibrate against my pocket. I get back on my feet and reach for my back pocket which I struggle a little bit.
"Hold on, let me get that for you." Camila get back on her feet and help me reach for my phone.
I smiled at her and said my polite thank you before I open my phone and found a text message from Lucy.
Lucy Vives:
Almost time for a show, you ready? Don't be nervous cause you have me ❤️
Xoxo, L.
I smiled and about to type my message to her when I notice Camila's still standing in front of me with her eyes darted straight on the screen of my phone. I look up and she quickly look away.
I cleared my throat before I speak. I don't know if I should inform her or what. But I ended up doing it anyway, "I-it's... it's Lucy."
"What does she want now?"
"She just informed me about the appearance we'll make as a couple tonight."
Camila nod her head, "Will you be home early? It's not like I care if you hang out with her. It's just that I'll cook dinner tonight and I'm just wondering if you want to join us?"
"Oh," The only word I manage to say, "Sure, I'll be home early."
I excused myself so I could change and head outside to meet Lucy. I wear the most formal dress I have in my closet and settle my hair in a high ponytail instead of letting it all flowing out.
I grab my purse and my phone before heading out of my room. As soon as I open the door, I was surprise to see Normani. I was taken a back by her presence that I didn't react for a good long minute.
"Can I talk to you?"
I cleared my throat, unsure of what I'm going to say. "Y-yeah, sure. Come on in," I step aside as Normani walk inside my room.
I close the door and took a deep long breath before I face her.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"I just came by to say thank you. I saw how you made Camila smile."
"I can't claim all the credits as much as I want to. I'm just helping the kid making her mom happy, that's all."
Normani smiled, "But still."
There's an awkward silence surround us for a minute before Normani speak again.
"I did my very best for your letter to reach Camila. And Shawn... he asked me to— he was freaking out when he finds out your back in her life."
"He wants me away from Camila. You want the same thing too, I know."
"I didn't help him."
"Why are you telling this to me?"
Normani fell silent. When I got no answer, I took her silence that she's worried that everything they worked hard for will be ruined in just a snap of a fingers.
"I won't speak about the letter if that's what you worry. I want the same thing for her just like what you guys wanted. But don't ever think that we were the same cause we're not. Yes, I cheated on her but at least I have an honor and decency to say goodbye and apologize for what I've done. But assholes like you and Shawn took that chance away from me. But then, I know I can sleep well knowing I'm not the kind of person who called themselves her friends but then proceeds in lying straight to her face."
I glare at Normani for a few seconds before going to the door. I throw my hand on the door knob loudly at the feeling of my heart getting heavier and heavier the longer I stay in this room.
"I'm sorry."
My tight grip loosen a little. My expression slowly getting soft.
"I'm sorry for every pain I've caused to you all these years. I'm wrong, Lauren. And I know I did a lot of horrible things and I'm not proud them. But... I'm willing to take responsibility for all the mistakes I did. That is why I'm here, to take the first step. To apologize sincerely. I hope you forgive me."
I decided to give Normani the response I know that's going to kill her— my silence. I open the door and storm off. After everything that happened, I don't know if I still have the heart to forgive her.
***
"Just in time, fangirl!" Lucy wrapped me in a big hug as soon as I arrived at our meeting place.
I return the big hug, "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"Smile. Act like this is the best hug you've ever felt." She whispered in my ear. And then at the corner pole, I saw a paparazzi taking photograph of us. I slowly take my eyes off of him and started to act naturally.
I pulled away and cupped Lucy's cheeks. Her eyes widen a little, completely surprised by my action, "Act like this is the best kiss you've ever had."
And before she could say anything, I leaned in and press my lips against hers. Her body stiffen. And as I deepen the kiss, aching for her to let my lips in, I felt her body starting to relax. Not long when I felt Lucy kissing me back. She tangled our fingers together and smile in between our kiss. When the air is much needed, we both pull away. And realization hits me that this is our first kiss.
"Holy shit, you're a good kisser!"
I chuckled, "I'm really flattered that Lucy Vives thinks I'm a good kisser."
"Really, women with green eyes are dangerous."
"Only when they didn't catch you."
"Will you catch me though?"
"Why not?"
Lucy grin before walking away, "You talked as if you're not emotionally unavailable."
"I'm working on that!" I yelled but Lucy just gave me a small chuckled as her response.
I followed her inside the office and that's when I realized that we were in E! Entertainment building. I quickly grabbed Lucy by her shoulder.
"Wait! Are we..."
"Having an intimate interview? Sure." Lucy grin before dragging me around.
I was about to squeeze more details from her when we suddenly barged into one of the rooms revealing the most beautiful interviewer I've ever seen.
"Lucy! Lauren! Welcome!" She gave us a cheerful smile before pulling us in a super welcoming embrace.
"You guys, thank you for coming despite of your busy schedule."
The pretty interviewer pulled away from the hug as Lucy and I settled down on the couch.
"No problem." Lucy smiled.
"So before we start this interview I would like to introduce myself. My name's Erin." She turn her eyes on me and I smile.
"You have a beautiful name." I compliment her and I felt Lucy gave me a low elbow on the arm.
I glance at her and gave her a "What was that for?" kind of look. Lucy responded by shaking her head.
"Oh, thank you. And you also got a beautiful name."
I smiled as my response.
"So, let's start the interview, shall we?"
The camera started rolling. We start first on the very basic questions to give a little background of ourselves before we proceed in discussing how our relationship started, how we met, how is it going, and most importantly, the recent issue.
"There's no cheating happened, no." Lucy said firmly with a smile, "We were all good friends and I find it so funny how people are pitting us against each other."
The interviewer turn her gaze to me and I took that as my cue to speak, "Camila's just being a good friend and protecting me from paparazzi that definitely crossed beyond the line. I mean, you could actually see in the video how they were harassing me. And I'm sure if you were in her shoes you'll do the same thing, right?"
"Of course, of course. And even if it's not my friend I think it's a natural courtesy of a human being to help someone who's being harassed or having a struggle."
"And I really hope this interview resolves everything. Cause with pure honesty, people should be more focusing about important matters like climate change and gender equality than boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls." Lucy added.
"And I think it's more important on focusing on your self care rather than wasting your time to unnecessary drama."
"Right, I completely agree with you two."
Soon, the interview wrapped up. We said our sincere thank you to everyone who prepared and work hard for this happen before we slip outside.
"What now?" I asked her.
"Now we wait. The duration of this PR depends on how the fans going to react after the interview came out."
And then a bright idea suddenly crossed my mind, "Can I take you somewhere?"
Lucy gave me that looked, "Is that a date?"
I shrugged, "Do you want it to?"
"Platonic date, game on!"
I playfully rolled my eyes on her as I motioned Lucy to follow my lead. While waiting, I took her to one of my favorite diner around LA.
"A diner, really?" She asked with a chuckle.
"Hey! It's not just some kind of ordinary diner. Come, I'll show you." I took her by her hand and dragged her to one of my favorite spot. I pulled the chair for her and gave her a gentle smile, "Sit."
Lucy chuckled, "I didn't you know had this kind of side in you."
I playfully wiggled my eyebrows and mimic her answer, "What do you mean? I am naturally a romantic person."
We both giggled before I occupied the seat in front of her.
"So, what's so special in here?"
"First of all, look around. It feels like you were living in the 60's. Vintage. Classic. And nothing could beat that."
Lucy roam her eyes around, "Okay, what else?"
"Second, look at this beauty." I hold the small jukebox on the corner of our table, "You insert a coin and a random classic songs will play. All romantic. Isn't that great?"
"Ugh! Oldies!" Lucy groaned, "I am definitely not a fan of them."
"Who are you?"
Lucy giggled. "I should've called you grandma instead."
"Well, I should call you alien instead too."
She smiled as her eyes landed on the side of my table. She reached for the words engraved on the wood and trace it with her thumb.
"You... want to put your name beside mine?"
She looked up to meet my gaze, motioning me to enlighten her.
"I've never been in a relationship for the past 5 years or even 6. And whenever I came here, I always long to take someone here with me."
"You never take anyone?"
I shook my head, "You're were the first one."
"Why did you take me here?"
"Because..." I paused while staring in her eyes. I like Lucy, and I'm sure of that. I want to know her more but I feel like this is not the right time telling her about it because I know she won't believe me. The way she act around me tells me that. And I want her to believe me that I truly mean it when I say I like her. So for now, I'll just make her feel it. "There's something about you that tells me you're a good person."
"Well, I'm really flattered. And I think you're a good person too, but not the kind of person who's capable of taking care of my heart."
Ouch. "Is that... are you putting me in friend zone right now?"
Lucy smiled politely, "Don't get me wrong. I like you, so very much. And I want this to work out. I badly wanted to. But... I can't put myself out there and risk getting hurt by competing with someone who's no longer in your life but never gone in your heart."
I'm about to say something when the waitress came up and take our order. Lucy ordered fresh salad while I ordered a bucket of chicken and fries. Soon, the interview came out and the reaction of fans are overwhelming. And if I could put it on charts I'd say 97% believed everything was all misunderstanding while the remaining 3% believed the issue was real and needs to pay a serious attention.
"YES!!!" Lucy and I do a high five and do a happy dance.
"So, is this the end for us?"
"There's no "us", fangirl."
I shook my head at how this girl pushed me at the very back of this friend zone circle, "Okay, let me rephrase myself. Is this the end of our PR contract?"
"Yes. It's already mission accomplished, so... the quickest PR I've ever done!" Lucy slip a small laugh before getting back on her feet and give me a hug.
"What you said earlier... you were right. And I don't want to hurt you too either."
"When you're all better and you know there's no one else residing in your heart, then come and find me. Let's try."
I nod my head and tighten my hug on her, "I will find you. Till that day comes, I will miss you."
"You say it like this is the last time we're going to see each other."
"After what you put me through this whole day, I guess it really gave me the right to think about it that way."
She chuckled and pulled away, "You will still see me, lucky you."
I giggled and she smiled, "Take care of yourself, Lucy."
"You too, Lauren." Lucy cupped my face before pressing her lips on mine. It wasn't a kiss of a new beginning but a kiss of goodbye even before our story begins.
***
Camila's POV
Being a parent, I thought I'm going to say to my son, "You're going to change the world."
But in reality...
"Stop licking the window, Clark!" I yelled from the top of my lungs causing the brunette boy to quickly storm off and hide.
"He's doing what again?" Normani asked, taking a seat beside me.
"Licking the damn window."
"Simon called me. Everything's all clear now. Do you want to watch the interview?"
"Sure."
Normani played the interview on her phone as we both sat there and watch.
"So, when did this relationship starts?" The interviewer asked but my eyes are nailed only to Lauren.
The green eyed girl smiled sweetly. As sweet as a candy.
"2 years ago. Lucy and I met at one of her photoshoot. She instantly became one of my closest friends and I take that as my advantage to get to know more about her."
They stare at each other before Lucy place her hand on top of Lauren's. I leaned closer so I could pay more attention to their movements. Lucy started speaking but none of her words travel to my ears. I'm way too focus on their hands that I immediately noticed the way Lauren squeeze it and tangled their fingers together so naturally. How her thumb caress the back of Lucy's hand. And suddenly, I felt myself struggling to breathe. Like something is stuck in my chest.
"...Right?"
"Hmm?" I turned my gaze to Normani, giving her a questioning look.
She chuckled, "I said they look good, don't they?"
"Yeah." The only word I manage to say before sitting up straight.
I took one last glance at the screen before I remember my conversation with Lucy back in Simon's office yesterday.
....
"What the hell did you just do?" I said through a gritted teeth the moment I shut the door behind me.
Lucy smirk, "Uhmm, I helped you get out of the mess? Well, you're welcome."
"No, you didn't. You don't get to come around and jump into someone else's business!"
"Just so you know, I did it for Lauren. Not for you."
"Lauren is my business, in case you don't know. So I suggest you back away from her."
"And why would I do that? Who are you in her life anyway? You're just her boss."
"That's the point! I am her boss and she's my responsibility!" I almost yelled. The way anger quickly rise on my system disgust me.
"Not anymore."
"She's not yours."
"Like she's yours?" Lucy chuckled, "If I didn't know you then I'll probably think you're having an affair with your assistant."
I fell silent.
"You know what? Instead of worrying Lauren, why don't you worry about your fiancé and fix your problem?"
"I think our problems is none of your business."
"Of course." Lucy gave me a teasingly bitch smile, "Let's start minding our own business from now on, shall we? You worry about Shawn, I'll worry about Lauren."
...
"I don't like her."
"Of course, you don't." There's something hidden in the way Normani delivered those words. It's as if she knew something I didn't know myself. So I look at her with a knitted eyebrows.
"I mean, you told me yourself. She's a player."
I wanted to say, "I don't trust her. What if she hurts Lauren?" But then I decided to keep the thought in my head and stay silent. Lucy's right. None of this is my business. Besides, it's not like I even care about them.
My thoughts got interrupted when I heard my phone ringing from my pocket. I took it and it was my mom calling so I quickly answer it.
"Camilita! I miss you so much!"
"I miss you too, mama."
"I have a surprise for you."
I can hear the excitement on my mom's voice.
"Okay, go on, mama. I'm listening."
"I sent someone to do a fitting for your wedding dress!!!!"
My mouth fell open out of excitement.
"Like... right now?"
"Yes! She's already on your front door."
I quickly stand up and ran towards the front door where I saw Lauren and Clark talking to the beautiful lady holding a black brief case.
"Sorry lady but there's no Camila Mendes living in here." I heard my son says.
"Huh? But this is the address Mrs. Cabello sent to me."
I quickly turn to my mom, "Mama, I already saw her. Thank you for this beautiful gift. I love you."
"I love you too, Camilita. Send me your pictures in it! Your sister and your papa wants to see it. They were all excited."
"Sure, mama."
I ended the call before I walk towards them.
"I told you already, lady. There's no Camila Mendes in here." Clark continued arguing with the lady to notice that I'm already standing behind him.
"Actually, there is. He's not really a fan of the guy his mom's about to marry, so..."
"Okay," The lady giggled, "So, should I call her Camila..."
"Jaugey!"
"Cabello." Clark and I said at the same time.
The lady and Clark looked up to me while Lauren makes the most sour face to ever exist while looking at him.
"Seriously, dude? That was the most awful thing I ever heard."
I laugh while the lady giggled as Clark turns to look at the green eyed girl, totally confused.
"Huh? Why do you hate your last name, Lawren?"
"You know the time I'll be very happy? That's when you finally learned how to pronounce my name and my LAST NAME correctly."
Clark giggled lifting up both of his tiny little arms to Lauren, "Carry me, Lawren."
"There. That's where you're good at. CaRrY mE, LaWrEn." Lauren mimic his voice before picking him up. "I'll just put this little guy in his room before I make you guys some coffee."
"Sure. Thank you, Lauren."
The green eyed brunette smiled before walking upstairs.
"At first I thought she's your wife."
I almost got choked, "What makes you think that?"
She finally met my gaze, "Because... you looked like a happy family. Especially when you stood behind them a while ago, so I thought you guys were about to get married."
We almost did. Almost.
I give her a small smile, "Let's go to the living room, shall we?"
"My name's Brianne." She extended her hand and I accepted her handshake.
"Nice to meet you. I'm—"
"Camila Cabello!" She exclaimed with cheeks even more redder than a while ago. "I was your huge fan! I'm actually trying to play it cool and be professional because I'm on my job but then you accepted my handshake and I can't hold it back anymore so I needed to freak out and be a fangirl for a moment and—"
"Brianne," I called her out. I can't help not to laugh at how cute she is when she's rambling, "relax. You're rambling."
"I know I'm sorry it's just that I'm really freaking out right now and I can't actually breathe because I finally met my idol! Oh my god you're so beautiful in person. You're an angel—"
"Brianne." I laugh again, "You're doing it again."
"I'm so—"
"Don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about. You're cute."
"Please don't! Oh god, please don't! I'm about pass out!"
I bite my tongue to prevent another laughter from slipping out, "Okay. Do you want some water or tea or something?"
We settled in the living room and Brianne started discussing to me all the design of wedding dresses available for me to fit today. Everything is going smoothly except for some key points: First, she can't make an eye-to-eye contact with me. Second, she's shaking and sweating. And third, she's rambling when she's talking. I tried to comfort her by rubbing her back but I guess my touch made everything even more worst for her that she even passed out a couple of times. As much as I want to end her misery, I can't because, unfortunately, I am the bride. So, sorry Brianne.
"Is she awake now?" I peak behind Lauren who's currently taking care of her.
"Nope. She's in deep sleep already, I think."
"Oh, wow," I breathed out in amusement. I actually enjoyed Brianne's company. I guess the reason why is because I'm loving the feeling that I'm the reason why she can't focus, why she's nervous, and why she's sweating because I'm near.
"You're like Michael Jackson. You made her passed out so many times."
"Just 7."
Lauren look over her shoulder and gave me a "Are you being serious right now?" kind of look, "That's still many, airhead."
I shrugged, "That's the daddy Cabello effect."
Lauren makes an awful face, "Ew, did you just call yourself daddy?"
I grin, "Yes I did, babygirl."
"Oh my god." Lauren quickly distance herself from me causing me to laugh, "Being top doesn't suit you, Camz."
"But I'm sure as hell bottom suits you perfectly, babygirl." I flickered my tongue and wink at her.
"Oh come on! We both know that's not true!"
"We both know that it's true." I corrected her.
"Says the girl who's always underneath me."
"Underneath you, huh?" I launch myself to her, causing us to fell straight on the floor. I'm on top of her. "You look very beautiful when you're under my body, babygirl."
Lauren had this devilish smirk on her face. And before I even know it, she started tickling me. Hard. I started laughing my ass out loud. I don't care if I wake up Brianne or everybody in this house because of how loud my laughter is. The way Lauren attack me mercilessly is so much for me to take. She flips us over. She's now on top of me.
"Now look how the wheel just turned, daddy." Lauren said in a flirty voice but in a high pitch tone.
"S-s-s-s-stop. P-please." I said while chasing after my breath.
"Okay, daddy. Since you beg and I'm a nice person, I'm letting you go." The green eyed girl giggled before she roll over beside me.
"Man! That was a good laugh."
I sigh contentedly, "I've never had a good laugh like that before."
"Yeah, me too."
"It's good to know I make you laugh."
"Says who? You made me feel cringe to the bone when you called yourself daddy."
I turn my head towards Lauren's direction and glare at her. "But... didn't you just called me daddy a few seconds ago?"
We look at each other with a serious face before we burst out laughing.
"Hey, Jaugey. Wanna hear a joke?"
"Corny but... shoot."
I slap her arm, "My jokes are funny!"
"Okay, it is funny." She answered with so much sarcasm on her voice.
"You used to laugh at them!"
"Who says I don't laugh at them now?" Lauren met my gaze. And that's when I realized how close our faces are from each other. I tried to look away but there's something in the way she stare at me that made my eyes stuck on her green orbs. It's like she's reading me like a magazine just by looking in my eyes and it's starting to scare the hell out of me.
"I still think your jokes are the funniest thing I've ever heard, until now."
I forced to break away from the trance I'm currently in as I quickly sit up straight and distance myself away from her.
"What are we going to do now?" I asked referring to the pile of wedding dresses scattered around the floor.
"You wanna try them on already?" Lauren get back on her feet and offered her hand to me, "Come on, I'll help you."
"Uhmm," I suddenly grow nervous and I don't even know why, "I think I'll just wait for Brianne to wake up. I'll be in the office."
Lauren looked confused but shrugged it, "Okay."
I hurriedly walk to my office and I accidentally slam the door behind me. This is what I hate the most when I'm nervous. I tend to do the most stupid thing ever and I became super clumsy.
I spend hours inside my office thinking why am I nervous in the first place when there's nothing to be nervous about. Am I nervous because she's around? No, absolutely not. I throw myself on the couch and decided to take a short nap. But that supposedly "short nap" turned into a 5 hours sleep. When I exit the office, it's already dinner time. Clark immediately run towards my direction and hug me.
"Mommy! Mommy! Come on, we're heading outside for dinner."
"Why?"
"I'm in the mood to eat dinner outside." Alfred suddenly appeared in the living room while jiggling the car key on his finger.
"Okay, if that's what y'all want."
We all hop out on the car. Alfred's driving, Veronica's on the passenger seat while Lauren, Clark, and I are sitting in the backseat with Clark in the middle. At this kind of set up, I feel like we're a family. And it feels so right yet so wrong at the same time. Feels right because I know this is what I want since the very beginning— a family with Lauren. But then it also feels wrong because I shouldn't suppose to feel something like this to anyone other than with Shawn. I feel like I'm being unfair to him. I feel like I'm just proving every doubt he had on me are all true.
"Mommy," Clark suddenly nudge my arm, "Can we stop over there and do star gazing?"
Lauren and I looked at each other.
"You make the call." I told her.
"Why me? You're the mom."
"You're the most favorite mom." I countered and Lauren sigh.
"Okay, okay. Star gazing it is."
"Yehey! Thank you, Lawren. Thank you, mommy!" He kissed us both on the cheek as Alfred pulled the car over.
Clark's holding both of our hands as he dragged us in the middle of nowhere. The three of us settled down on the grass.
"I should've bought a blanket."
"There's always a next time." I told her.
"I'll be right back." Clark suddenly get up and run towards the car, leaving me and Lauren alone.
"I'm not sure how many next time I have left."
I furrowed my eyebrows, "What do you mean? Are you leaving?"
Lauren shrugged, and I know this is about Shawn again.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to him."
"It's not about Shawn. It's... in general. I've come realized that there's nothing permanent in this world. One day you have everything, and then the next day, you don't. And it's scary how things changes so fast in just a blink of an eye."
"Nothing will change." I said like I was so sure of my words when even I feels the same way too.
Lauren looked at me. Her eyes asking me the same question.
"I just know."
Lauren's about to say something when Sad Song started to play behind us. We both turn around only to find Clark holding a stereo while giving us a wide smile.
"Have a good night mommy and Lawren! I love you both!" He sent us a flying kiss before he put down the stereo and started running away.
"Tiger! Where are you going?" I shouted but I get nothing in response. I took a heavy sigh, "This kid."
"He's such... a funny boy." Lauren chuckled, trying to shake off the awkwardness as she settled her eyes on me. "He's like you."
We both giggled. As soon as it died down, silence took over us both. We were just sitting there while listening to the romantic song playing behind us.
"You, uhmmm, up for the dance?" Lauren breaks the silence.
"To that song?" I asked, unsure to Lauren's offer.
"Why not?"
"Isn't that too romantic?"
"Well, I don't mind doing a back flip either if that's what you're comfortable dancing with."
I smiled, "No, I think slow dance is better."
"Okay." Lauren get back on her feet and offer her hand to me. I accepted her help as she pulled me up.
"Let's pretend the world is falling apart and this will be our last dance." Lauren smiled before closing the gap between us. She wrapped her arms around my waist with her chin resting against my shoulder, "Let's pretend we're still each other's safe haven. That I'm still yours and you're still mine."
I wrapped my arms around her neck and cling to it as if my life depends on it. I tighten my hold to her as I feel every bones screaming "Never let go". And then I close my eyes. And suddenly, I was taken back to that very moment where we were dancing in San Francisco. When she asked me to dance with her and bring her demons to their knees. When I felt what it feels like to feel the world falling apart and stars rained down but you never care because you're in her arms and this is the only place you ever wanna be. How my heart began racing in my chest when Lauren told me how grateful she is for meeting me.
That night 5 years ago has no difference to this night. What I felt that night... is what I'm feeling right at this very moment. And I remember asking myself— what if we try and give each other a chance, will it work out? Can Lauren love me despite how ruined she is?
And I guess the right question now is... Can I leave everything behind and hurt Shawn?
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A/N:
Guys!!!! The day has finally come!!! The next two chapters is all about Camila finding out about Lauren's letter. Who's excited????!!! 🙋♀️ I'm literally in a rush finishing this cause I'm so excited to publish chapter 51 & 52. This is what I'm doing the whole day— writing this chapter. And it's currently 8:14 pm here as I type this AN and I haven't eating my dinner yet 😂😂. Anyway, thanks for reading and ur votes and ur wonderful comments. I really enjoyed reading them. Stay safe and love lots ❤️