Chapter 23
He refuses to play the three handed duet with me. I'm slightly miffed because it's an incredible idea but he is my boss. However he does agree to meeting Maestro and I swallow my pride and arrange a lesson.
I drive the brown bomb and we're outside the London Symphony Orchestra. For whatever reason my hip feels like it's aching and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to walk. It's probably nerves as I step apprehensively toward the building. My guts clench and sick crawls up my throat. All these symptoms are familiar to one of my typical phantom throws.
"I have to just get it together for a few seconds," I whisper and glance at him. His shoulders are hunched. I don't know who's more nervous, Otto or me. I haven't seen Maestro for an age, not since he gave me the walking cane and we had an argument about me using my emotions in my piano. "So we'll probably run into a few people."
"Fan-frigging-tastic," Otto replies. Otto's head darts round, he's wearing a long sleeved jacket to hide his injury "You okay? You're all pale."
"Just nervous." My stomach flips. "Actually I'm petrified I haven't been able to come anywhere near here since the accident."
"Was this where your audition was supposed to be?"
I nod my head and inhale a few sharp breaths. "If I hadn't asked them to drive me...if I had never had wanted to audition...if I –"
Otto squeezes my shoulder. "It's not your fault Phoebe." His good arm rubs me behind the back.
"I know. I know. I know." My voice is quite shrill.
"They'd want you here Phoebe. The orchestra was your life as was piano."
"You're right. Let's push on," I say firmly and with those words I push the back entrance door of the orchestra open. "No turning back now."
Emotions wave through my body and I feel Otto's palm reach for mine. "I was supposed to play Mozart you know," I say. "Maestro loves Mozart." I clench Otto's hand tightly as we walk into the boughs of the theatre.
I imagine what would have happened if there hadn't have been an accident. What would mum and dad have thought if I'd gotten the soloist gig? What would they have wanted for me?
I push the thoughts aside and focus on the lack of noise in the theatre. It's quiet. I think we're not going to see anyone we run straight into Veronica. And I've known Veronica for an age because we both learned piano from Maestro. She's now his assistant and I hope she doesn't remember speaking to me on the phone.
"Phoebe?" She glances at Otto and then at me. Otto drops my hand and I wonder if Veronica noticed. The rumour mill in the classical world is fast. "So you're finally coming back to the piano?"
"Yeah, it was time." I try to walk past her toward Maestro's room.
"I don't think you should just go in there. I'm the conductor's assistant so I should announce you."
"Come on Veronica, I've been here hundreds of times. I don't need announcement."
"And he's expecting us," Otto says.
Again Veronica glances at Otto. "And you are?" She obviously doesn't recognise Otto, much to his pleasure.
"I'm Phoebe's boyfriend, just here for moral support." Veronica's eyes almost pop out of her head and her gaze scans Otto up and down. He looks quite spiffy in his sports coat and shirt.
"Right. Right," Veronica replies. "I'd heard you and Ben broke up."
Maestro did mention that on the phone when I spoke to him last.
"It has been a while," I say.
"Apparently you've been living on your sister's sofa for over six months."
My mouth hangs open and closes.
Is that what Ben has told everyone? How else could Veronica know that, my arch rival, Veronica knows I've been on Mickey's sofa?
"Phoebe bunks at my place most of the time," Otto interjects and I turn to look at him. It's partially true. Well it will be once I move my things over. I give him a grateful smile. He is the perfect cover for the likes of Veronica. "It was quite a whirlwind romance with Phoebe and me. It all happened so fast and she just couldn't stay away."
I want to roll my eyes but I don't.
"Well that's good to know...." Veronica says, her head darting between the two of us.
"Are we here to see Maestro or talk about Phoebe's sleeping arrangements?" Otto interjects like the perfect jealous boyfriend.
"Go on then." Veronica rolls her eyes. "If he's expecting you."
We knock on Maestro's door. The door swings open and he ushers us in. His piercing blue eyes settle on me and he embraces me in a hug, one which might actually force the life out of me. "Phoebe, darling," he says. Maestro's known me since I was a little girl. He pulls away and his eyes flicker over me. I scan him. He wears a bright blue suit which is typical of Maestro, who always focuses on appearance. His hair should be grey but it's black – I'd assume bottle black – considering Maestro would be well in his seventies.
"No cane?"
"Nope," I croak. "Haven't needed it for a long time now."
"Ah...good girl. I knew you could do it."
I delve into my satchel and extract some papers, confidentiality agreements but Maestro's already eyeing off Otto. "Otto Arnold, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"And you too," Otto says, beaming at my teacher and the pair shake hands vigorously.
"So how is she going with the repertoire?" Maestro says, taking the papers from me and skimming them. He grabs a pen and signs.
"She's doing well. Putting in hours. Soon it might be a good idea to get her in front of Pedro."
"Pedro?" I breathe. Pedro is one of the best classical music agents there is.
"If you come recommended from both Otto and me, Pedro will set you up nicely."
Maestro puts his hands together. "Well Otto and I should get started." He glances at me.
"I need to stay here. The rouse is that Otto's my boyfriend."
"Someone's sure to recognise him." Maestro laughs. "But I suppose they won't know who I'm teaching if you both sit down."
It's late after the piano lesson and I drive Otto home. He gives me a sidelong glance in the car. "So you've known Veronica for a while then?"
"Yeah, Maestro used to teach her too."
"She's kind of jealous of you or something."
"I doubt it."
"So tell me about Ben. You're an attractive girl Phoebe. Surely he's going to hear about you hanging with me and you'll get back together?"
"I doubt it."
"So what happened?"
"We used to live together."
"And that's why you were on your sister's couch?"
"Yeah, we were supposed to be on a break but we had different ideas of what that meant. I thought we were sorting through some things to get back together. Ben thought it meant that we were broken up. He wants to stay best friends. A bit of a joke, right?"
"How long were you together?"
"Nine years...almost a decade."
"Whoa. Nine years is a long time. You must have been pretty young when you got together."
"I thought we'd get married. Everyone did, especially since he was there for me after the accident."
"You sound like you're still in love with him."
"There's no point being in love with someone who won't love you back."
"What does he do?"
"He's in a band so he was pretty busy with his music so I had a lot of time to myself anyway."
"You dated a musician?"
"Yes, of course."
"He must know about the piano. I mean, nine years in your life, he'd know something went wrong. Did he try and get you back to playing the piano?"
"No, he had other things to worry about other than me," I say. "Ben, you know, he only wanted me to be happy."
"That's why he wants to be best friends after one decade. What happened? Did you suffer from performance anxiety in the bedroom?"
"No." I know Otto's joking but my face feels hot. "That was not a problem."
"He wanted to shag someone else then? Test the waters with someone else?"
I instantly think of Miss Shower Curtain. "Yes. No. I don't know." My voice is stiff. "Can we not talk about it?"