Better than words, more than feeling
Crazy in love, dancing on the ceiling
I have been lying on my bed for half an hour now but I still couldn't find my slumber. My eyes were glued to the ceiling where my fan was. I still couldn't believe what happened tonight. From Niall tricking me into watching some bands where he was the one playing and he even sang me a love song where he was confessing his feelings for me while I stared at Harry who was staring back at me with a blank expression that until now, I couldn't understand up to agreeing to give Niall a chance of proving to me that his feelings are real. What a mess-up night? And I don't even know how I got into this mess in the first place.
Ever since I started high school, all I could think about was acing my exams, getting into NYU, and moving to New York City which has been my dream since I was a little kid. I will get a nice apartment, live in the Big Apple, and have the time of my life. And that's what I have been doing. I was contented with the life I was handed to. No friends? I was fine with that. My parents divorced? I accepted that. I never once asked for more than I was given to. I worked hard to be the first in class. I volunteered at the tutoring center to get additional credits and to help other people. It worked for them and it worked for me. So why did all of a sudden, things get complicated?
I couldn't even say that it got complicated because of Harry. Although, he is the one who gave me roller coaster feelings that I wasn't aware existed. But Niall? I knew him for a little while, although, it was just a couple of weeks when I started tutoring him. And I don't remember treating him anything special so why the hell does he likes me?
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard something being thrown out my window. My blinds are down and the only light in the room is the light coming from the full moon. I ignored the sound and glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand. It's 1:04 am. Niall dropped me off past midnight. I took a quick shower and I changed into my PJs. I have class later and I should be up by 6:00 am. I should be sleeping at this hour but earlier events kept popping on my mind.
The sound came in again, this time a little louder which made me nervous. Is someone downstairs? I have lived on this road since forever. I was born and raised in Wake Forest. It's just a little town but the neighborhood is marvelous. Everyone is nice to everyone. And we have zero crime rate.
My heart started pounding in a bad way when I heard the sound again, like three consecutive times, but it does get louder and louder each time. As scared as I am, I decided to look into it. The sound was coming from my window. I climbed off the bed and reached for the baseball bat my dad left for me sitting beside my desk. I tiptoed to the window. Slowly turning the blinds up and peaked on it. My breathing became normal when I saw Harry standing behind the bushes, throwing pebbles on my window. I put the baseball bat down, unlock and slide the window up. What is he doing throwing stones on my window in the middle of the night?
"Hey, are you trying to wake my mom?" I hissed at him.
He smirked at me. "Yeah, because I was so in love with your mother," he replied in his thick British accent. His voice was ragged and raspy than usual and I couldn't tell if he is drunk or not.
I rolled my eyes at him. "What do you want?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Let me in," he said, he wasn't asking.
I couldn't read the expression on his face cause it was dark. It was only his figure that I can clearly see.
Why would I let him in? It's already past one in the morning. My mother is already in deep sleep as she needed to get up early. Ever since my father left to move to New Jersey, my mom and I made a secret pact that we should give the privacy of each other, the main reason why I never pry about her relationship with Tom.
"Go home Harry, it's late," I whispered-yelled.
I heard him let out a loud sigh. "Please?" He begged.
My heart sank as I heard him begging. He didn't talk to me all day yesterday, even shooting daggers in my direction and now he is. . . begging?
"Please," he repeats. "Just let me in,"
I closed my eyes. How can I say no? This is even harder than hearing Niall ask for a chance on me.
"Wait there," I said.
I moved away from the window, grabbed the jacket I have hanging on the door, and made my way downstairs. As soon as I opened the front door, Harry was already standing on it.
He was wearing the same white shirt he wore when I saw him at the bar. With the lights turned on on the front porch, I could see his eyes bloodshot. I am not quite sure if it was because of lack of sleep or he was drunk. I can smell the liquor coming from his mouth mixed with his usual musky and minty scent.
I stood in front of him with my arms crossed to my chest. He surprised me when he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and he started letting out heavy breathing. Like he was gasping for air.
"You broke me, Swift," he whispered while I was still pulled in his arms.
What? I broke him? How? He was the one who avoided me and didn't talk to me so why is he telling me now that I broke him?
"We're you intentionally trying to hurt me?" He asked as he released me from his tight embrace.
I am very confused now that I didn't know how to respond to him anymore. His hands were on my arms holding me. He was staring at me intently and I couldn't stand his gaze so I looked down, but he held my chin and crashes his lips into mine.
This is the second time that he kissed me without my permission. And this is also the second time that I should've pushed him but I didn't instead and wrapped my arms on his neck and respond to his kiss. His tongue brushes my lips so I opened my mouth and let him enter. His hands moved to my hips which sends a shiver to my spine. His touch gives me the voltage of electricity in my veins and made my heart pound so loud. These are the feelings that never once I felt with someone else. Only with Harry.
We were both chasing our breaths when we broke the kiss. My cheeks blushed when I realized that we made out on the front porch. Thank God it's late and the street is quiet and empty.
Harry must've seen the shock on my face so he pulled me inside the house and locked the front door.
"What are you doing?" I whispered. "My mother is upstairs and the last thing I want is for her to wake up and see me with you," I added.
My mom and I never had an issue with boys. Simply because I didn't have guy friends to hang out with. Actually, Harry was the only guy who had been in my room. My mom was okay with it cause I was tutoring him. And he was our neighbor and she likes Anne, Harry's mother.
"She will not wake up if you keep quiet," Harry answered and pulled me upstairs.
What does he think he is doing? "Where are we going?" I hissed.
"Of course in your room, where else?" He mumbled as if I asked a stupid question.
My mother will not like this for sure. He was still holding my hand as we tiptoed to my room. My mother's room is dark as she can't sleep with the lights on.
Harry closed the door of my room and I was supposed to give my comment about it but decided against it cause he will just smirk at me for sure. We walked towards my bed with his hand still on mine. My heart is still beating so hard. Being in the same room as Harry gives me flutter in my stomach.
I sat on my bed while he knelt on the floor and settled himself in between my legs with his hands on my face.
"Seeing you with Horan tonight made me want to punch him in the face," he chuckled.
The confusion in my head is still present. "Why are you doing this?" I finally asked.
He cocked his brow. "Doing what?"
I took his hands off of my face, it makes me a little upset because it seems to me he was playing with my feelings. One second he was telling me he likes me then he stopped talking to me and completely ignored me at school.
"This, you were throwing pebbles on my window, kissing me in the dark, telling me you're having feelings for me but then you ignored me at school. I feel like I am in this emotional roller coaster ride with you and I don't like it," I explained, hoping that he will understand what I am trying to tell him.
He puts his hand on my face again, as if I just didn't take it off of me. His green eyes sparkle under the moonlight. "I was the one in the emotional roller coaster ride with you," he replied. "You let me kiss then you were telling Horan was your first kiss, then you never turned those stupid blinds up. And you were flirting with Horan at school then you even went out with him tonight, and he fucking confesses his feelings for you while singing a fucking love song," he was breathing so hard. "And I was like, how can I even top that?"
This is one hell of a big fat mess, and I can't even comprehend what he's saying. "Top what?" I asked.
He chuckled and presses his lips on mine again. This time it was quick, more like a peck on the lips.
"I am not romantic, I surely cannot make out a single lyric of a fucking love song. I have no fucking idea about how to take a girl on a date, let alone ask a girl on a date." He spoke. "Dating was never in my vocabulary let alone the word love and falling in love, I like girls who throw their selves at me, that worked out just fine with me," he chuckled and I frowned. I may be naive when it comes to relationships but I know the meaning of girls throwing their selves at him. "It's been like that since forever and it was fine, I sleep with girls without having the obligation of knowing their names, but with you it was different, you were different, just being in the same room as you give me a sense of satisfaction, kissing you felt like I've won the fucking lottery, you were breathtakingly beautiful, and you have a magnificent brain, like its full of knowledge and information, it amazes me how those thick glasses look so fucking good on you. I admire the way you cover your body and I never have wanted for you to show any skin, your laugh can complete my day and I can stare at your blue eyes forever. I never expected these words will come out of my fucking mouth ever, but I had to, if I want to win this war, I want to erase any memory of Horan in your brain so you could just forget him, forget all about him and just choose me. I don't know how to play the guitar, I am covered with tattoos but that makes me, me. I don't know what to fucking say to you to change your mind over Horan and just be with me. Just be with me Swift, please,"
My heart stops from beating. Did Harry Styles just pour his heart out to me? Is this real? Or am I just dreaming?
"I am not with Niall," I whispered wanting to take the idea of Niall and I dating off of his mind.
His hand right hand moved from face to my nape. He was pushing me towards him. Like he was holding on to me.
"And I've never kissed Niall," I said this time my voice was too low not even sure if he heard me. "I'm sorry, I lied."
His breath on my face made me smell his minty scent. It was refreshing and I began to fall for that smell.
I saw a smile form on his mouth, "So, I got upset towards nothing, you have no idea how mad I was when you told me he was your first kiss," he said to me. "I know I have no fucking right to own you but I can't help this fucking feelings I have for you like it makes me insane, it consumes me and it kills knowing someone else have you," he leaned to me, our face was so closed together, his nose touching my nose. "Please give me a chance, I know this is too fast and I am not asking you to have the same feeling I have for you, all I want is for you to let me admire you, let me show you that I want you, please." He was begging me again, he just poured his heart out to me and it feels like I have thousands of butterflies in my stomach. I still don't understand why he likes me. And why he wants me but I what I know is I like him, but just like he said I am not any other girl. I was different and I am not gonna fall for him just because he was sweet-talking me at 2 in the morning.
"Please?" I heard him ask again.
He was asking for a chance and the best thing I could do is to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"Okay," I replied.
--
This chapter is for @caaeeerr I am sorry I wasn't able to update last night, but I am doing a double update today. Hope you like it.
Also for @haylorNator, start cheering for Team Harry. Haha!