Rule #60: Plead Guilty
In case of a trial, Rebels take credit of the crimes they do.
- () -
December is here. Family members start to leave.
Not Bettie though.
Or my grandmother.
I still haven't apologized, despite mother's threats looming over my head. Then, a week after the incident, my brother, James, has a brilliant idea to hold a trial, in which they can determine if I should say sorry or not.
And even worse, my grandmother has agreed. I guess she, and everybody else, knows that she's going to win.
That brings us to the present, where the remaining parts of both our families stand in the beach, which Melody and James set up to look like a courtroom.
I stand on the far left, along with the children (it seems like the Unicorns and the Warriors have banded together in my defense), James, and Melody.
"All right," Archer, who proclaimed himself the judge as soon as he heard about James's idea, yells through a microphone. "The trail of Monroe vs. Monroe has now begun. May the lawyer from Mrs. Monroe's side please stand up and present the opening statement."
He points to my grandmother's side. All of my family, except for my siblings and my father, stand there solemnly. My father sits near the back of our side, sipping coffee, saying he wants no part in the fake trial.
Neither do I, for this matter.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
Bettie's the lawyer for my grandmother's side so she goes up to the front of the beach, near the ocean, smooths the new outfit her mother brought for her and reads her speech. There's no paper so I'm guessing she memorized.
"Ohana means family," Bettie starts. The kids squirm excitedly. "And family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. By yelling at our grandmother and calling her demeaning names, Peyton has forgotten our true values. When she stormed out the door, leaving all of us to panic, she left us behind. Peyton has broken the Ohana rule and we need an apology!"
My family members nod in agreement, even my grandmother who probably has no idea what she's referencing.
Then, Archer calls on Melody, who presents her side of the argument. It's complete with sock puppets that they made. My puppet has pink hair, even though I repeatedly insisted on black.
But they did put an angry expression to nullify me.
"Wow, those are both phenomenal opening statements, especially those sock puppets," Archer clears his throat. "Now, we shall question the witnesses. Since everybody deserves a fair chance, Peyton's side gets to go first this time.
"That's not how it works," One of my uncles, who's also a lawyer, yells.
Everybody ignores him.
Except for his wife, who offers him some extra potato chips.
Melody, who's my lawyer, straightens her pink business suit. "I call upon the first witness, James."
James, wearing a complete suit and tie, marches up and sits down a beach chair next to Archer's, which is supposed to represent the witness stand. The beach chair is so short and small that it nearly collapses under his weight.
"My first question is to you James - were you aware that Ms. Peyton Monroe was a vegetarian?"
"Yes ma'am."
"And who else, to your knowledge, was aware that Ms. Peyton was a vegetarian?"
"Our entire family."
"And does you entire family include your grandmother?"
"Yes ma'am."
Both of them are trying not to smile. And to be honest, I want to laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole situation too. Then, I glance at mom, who watches them with clear disapproval, and all potential of a smile leaves me.
Melody asks James to recount the night, which he does. Also with the sock puppets.
"Thank you for that story, Mr. James Monroe," Melody says and pushes her fake glasses further up her nose. "Now, in your opinion, does Peyton get angry often?"
"Objection!" Bettie calls. "That's a leading question."
"Is not, you turnip-faced, snitching, monster!" Melody shouts, facing her. "Why don't you shut up and mind your own business?"
I guess we know what career Melody will not be attempting in the future.
"Overruled." Archer motions for James to go on.
"Well, Ms. Monroe, I think Peyton does get mad often. But Peyton getting mad isn't anything to worry about. She's as harmless as a bear -"
"A bear?" Archer raises an eyebrow.
"Excuse me, your honor. I meant a bear cub."
"What?" I screech. "Objection! I am nothing like a bear cub!"
"Overruled. Bear cubs are cute and so is Peyton," Stupid Archer seems to be enjoying his position a little too much. "Ms. Monroe, please continue."
If it wasn't for the fact that his cousin, Stephanie, was sitting on my lap, I'd throw my chair at him. Instead, I lean back and wait for the break.
It's Bettie's turn to do cross-examination. When she approaches the chair, James slouches in his seat and levels her with a glare. This is surprising. He's usually had a good relationship with Bettie.
"James, do you think family is important?"
"I suppose."
"And do you believe in the values of respecting your elders?"
"I believe in the values of respecting everyone. It doesn't matter if they're older or younger."
Bettie falters, then speaks again. "Then, do you believe that Peyton was disrespectful when she yelled at her grandmother and called her mean words?"
"Yes, but -"
"No further questions, your honor."
Melody and Bettie question a few more witnesses before Archer calls a ten-minute snack break.
The kids cheer. Stephanie hops off my lap and runs off with the rest of the cousins to grab some popsicles and ice cream sandwiches. Because I know Archer won't be able to walk all the way over to coolers with his crutches, I grab him some vanilla ice cream (the only flavor left) and give it to him.
"If this is a bribe, it's not going to work," Archer tells me, but he's smiling.
"It's not a bribe."
"So, you just gave it to me from the goodness in your heart?"
"There is no goodness in my heart."
"If you say so, my adorable, little, bear cub."
I open my mouth and then close it again, unable to come up with a suitable remark. Archer smirks at my expression and takes a long lick of his ice cream, locking his eyes with mine.
"There are so many things wrong with that statement," I say, once I manage to find my voice.
"Like?"
"For starters, I'm not yours."
His smirk only grows wider.
"Secondly, if I were to be a bear, I wouldn't be a measly cub. I would be like the bear, Wojtek, who fought with the Polish army in World War II and -"
"You'd still be adorable."
"You know what, that's it. I'm taking this back."
I lean down and try to take the ice cream back from Archer. He protests and brings it back. For an injured loser, his grip is surprisingly firm. After struggling for a minute, I let go of the ice cream and he jerks it back so fast that some of it gets on his face, smearing it with white vanilla.
"Ha!" I let out a short laugh, then scowl to cover it up.
Archer wipes the ice cream off his face. "That's the third time I made you laugh."
"When was the second time?"
"When I learned that you're ticklish."
"W-well, there's not going to be a fourth time."
"We'll see. You should get going if you don't want any more attention," Archer nods towards my family, who watch us curiously, my mom in particular.
"Great. Now, my mom's going to get even more ideas."
"Run before she thinks of any," Archer suggests, licking the vanilla as if he didn't shove into his face a minute ago.
I jog back to my seat.
Snack break ends and everybody returns to their original positions. Another line of questioning and cross-questioning begins, starting with my aunts and going to Stephanie, who had nothing to do with the incident but wanted to be questioned so badly that Archer let her.
Melody: Stephanie, what's your favorite day of the week?
Stephanie: Sunday, because it has the word sun in it.
(applause)
Melody: Stephanie, what's your favorite animal?
Stephanie: My favorite animal is the elephant because it has the biggest brain in the animal kingdom and can express grief, compassion, self-awareness, and playfulness.
(applause, with an additional thumbs up from me)
All the kids and family members go, until it's down to me and my grandmother. Melody calls me up for questioning first. Despite it being a fake trial, sweat forms on the palm of my hands and I wipe them on my pants before sitting down on the beach chair. The low height makes you feel small and insignificant.
Melody gives me an encouraging smile.
Despite my frustration, I smile back. Even if nobody else in my family isn't on my side, at least my siblings are.
That doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on her for going along with this stupid idea.
"Peyton, how long have you been a vegetarian?"
"Six."
"Six what?"
I slouch further down in the beach chair. "Six years."
The rest of our conversation goes like that. I don't want to reveal anything about the night, because it's humiliating, but the sock puppets actually do make it easier. I even make Peyton-Puppet smack Melody-Puppet on the face. Stephanie and some of her friends laugh at that.
Through my little story telling, I notice some of the aunts and uncles glance at each other with surprised expressions. Maybe not all of them actually knew what happened. The thought makes me feel a little better.
"No further questions, your honor."
It's Bettie's turn.
She walks up to the podium, shuffling through her files. If I were a bear cub, Bettie would be a bobcat, ready to eat me at any signs of weakness. But I am not a bear cub.
I am Wojtek Monroe the bear.
Bettie towers over me as she asks her first question. "Peyton, who instigated the argument during Thanksgiving first? Was it you or your grandmother?"
Keeping a bear-like glare on my face, I say. "I don't recall, ma'am."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
Bettie's face turns a little sour. She didn't want to be the position of a lawyer originally, but she was forced into it by Aunt Sue and our grandmother. And as much as I hate Bettie, I can't help but feel a little bit of pity towards the bobcat.
"Do you remember any of the conversation then?"
"No."
"Not even the part where you called her an old hag?"
"I try not to stay stuck on my past mistakes," And then, because I can't help myself. "And neither do my friends."
"Of course not," Bettie mutters. "No further questions."
She leaves.
A little surprised about how easy that was, I return to my seat.
Now, it's grandmother's turn. She goes up, takes one look at the beach chair, and scolds James for not thinking of her crippled state, so James runs inside to get a "proper" chair for her. After everything's settled, Melody walks up, slipping her fake glasses into her pocket just in case grandmother makes fun of her for it.
Grandmother speaks before Melody can. "You've got some nerve, little girl, going against your family like this."
"I'm standing up for my family, actually. Mrs. Monroe, did you know that Peyton was a vegetarian?"
"Of course I did," She sniffs. "That's the whole reason I gave her some in the first place and she enjoyed up until I told her it was meat. And then, she goes on to perform some dramatics and pretend that she was upset to gain some attention -"
"Okay, okay, we get it," Melody gives Archer an alarmed look. "No further questions, your honor."
Grandmother walks back to her seat without waiting for Bettie to question her.
"Congrats Lucy, you sure raised some insubordinate kids," Grandmother hisses as she passes my mother.
Mom looks at her feet. Aunt Sue doesn't bother to hide her smug expression.
After the closing statements are delivered, we put the judgement to a simple vote. Everybody puts my name or my grandmother's on a slip of paper and then puts it in a box. I vote for grandmother, just because nobody will expect me to.
While Archer counts the votes, people scatter. I go and find James and Melody.
"You guys did a good job," I punch them both on the shoulder lightly. "Even if I have to apologize, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me anymore."
"Peyton," James brushes away imaginary tears. "That might be the sweetest thing you might have said to us."
"Shut up, fool."
"Group hug!" Melody exclaims.
Before I can run, she pushes us both into one big hug. James puts his arms around the two of us so it makes it harder to squirm my way out. To make it worse, the kids spot us and pile on top even though they're so short they can only hug our legs and waists.
"Okay, I counted the votes," Archer shouts. We break apart. "Mrs. Monroe gets twenty votes. Peyton gets twenty-four! She doesn't need to apologize!"
A cheer erupts from our side of the crowd.
Archer winks at me.
My cheeks warm up but I smile back. People actually voted for me? I didn't expect five names, let alone twenty-four.
"Group hug!"
"No more group hugs!"
- () -
Victory for Peyton! Woo hoo!
Next chapter: DEATH
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Thanks to everybody for voting and commenting on my story. You guys are amazing! A special thanks to SecretWriter7777777, ethurn, ashlynn3rh, MistyWallace9, c_jhansen, nurkaiiiiii, elaine0223, jonte93, fate_writer, and BuggeyDadey.
Thanks for reading!
QotC: You guys loved Peyton, but what about Archer? On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate him?