Good morning my beautiful readers! Here's a crazy chapter that only starts the real chaos in this book! I hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for reading all this way! If you think this is crazy, just keep reading because this story is going to take an insaaaaane twist...anyways, enjoy this my sweet readers!
P.S - sorry this took awhile, I was camping! But I'll be back to the normal schedule soon! Love you and enjoy <3
P.S.S - some great songs I like to listen to for these kind of chapters include -
• Arsonist's Lullaby - Hozier
• Cherry Wine - Hozier
• New World - The Irrepressibles
• Tears (Prelude) - The Irrepressibles
Thank you once again!
***
Jennifer's POV -
The news of what had happened spread quickly.
It was Flint who burst in the common room at around 8:50 at night, and clearly out of breath, gasped, "Katie Bell was cursed on the trail to Hogsmeade!"
Immediately, the room breaks into chaos.
Students begin rushing out of the leather armchairs and couches and pouring out into the corridors, their eyes wide with either concern or curiosity.
"What the hell is going on?" Josefina mutters, rising off of a sofa near the fireplace and heading towards the portrait hole. Kelsie and I follow.
I know who Katie Bell is. She's a nice girl, a player on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. But what did Flint mean by "cursed"?
"It wasn't an accident."
I hear a high pitched and snobby voice laced with malice drawl from behind me. It's as though the speaker has read my mind.
Although my friends have already left the common room along with the rest of the students, I linger behind, turning around to see who the voice belongs to.
Of course, it's Blu.
She looks relaxed, twiddling with a lock of her blonde hair, appearing rather unbothered by Flint's announcement; so unbothered that it causes me to feel uneasy.
"It wasn't." She repeats, and I realize that she is talking to me after all. "Somebody did it to her."
After a moment, I manage to speak. "Who?"
A small and mischievous smile tugs at the corner of her lip. "Couldn't tell you." My full attention has obviously given her satisfaction. "But she was found laying in the snow. They don't know if she's alive."
Immediately, suspicion begins to blossom within me. I have no idea how Blu knows all of this, or if she's just making it up, but that's not my first concern right now.
Something deep inside of me tells me that this had something to do with Draco.
And I know I need to find him.
"You okay, Janette?" Blu taunts, smirking slightly. I must have been lost in thought for awhile.
"Yes," I say, still not fully present mentally. "I'm fine."
And with that, I turn away from her, and rush towards the portrait hole.
***
I don't know how I know where to find Draco, but something within me guides me to him.
I turn down corridors and mount stairs, and I'm not exactly sure where I'm going, but somehow I know I'm getting closer to him with each step I take.
And with each inch I grow closer to him, I begin to worry about him more and more.
Is he okay? Is he hurt? I can feel that something has gone very wrong in him today, and it makes my insides itch with concern.
I can't take not knowing how or where he is. By now, tears are stinging my eyes and blurring my vision, my muscles have grown tremendously tense and my brain is a violent whirl of chaotic thoughts.
It's right then that I stumble backwards a few steps.
I can feel him, almost sense him, very close to me. Something is very, very wrong.
And just like that, I know exactly what I must do.
I begin pacing back and forth before the wall directly in front of me, three times to be exact.
And in my mind, I whisper to myself the same sentence three times.
I need to see Draco Malfoy. I need to see Draco Malfoy. I need to see Draco Malfoy.
I have no idea in hell how I know to do this, but it works.
A door begins to appear, ingraining itself into the stone wall. It grows larger and larger, until it stops growing completely.
Then, I know I am free to enter.
I reach out and grasp the doorknob tightly, my heart pounding against my ribcage, and push forward.
***
Draco's POV -
The castle is peaceful when I finally make it back, the sky hung with a gloomy darkness and ghastly clouds hiding the stars.
I can't tell if I'm running to something or from something as I stumble through the empty corridors.
My throat and mouth are parched, and my ragged breaths sound as if they're coming from a starved animal.
I find that my legs have begun to shake tremendously. Fear engulfs me whole, making me drastically exhausted. All I can hear in my mind are the ringing screams of Katie Bell, and my gut churns violently, throwing acidic bile to the back of my throat.
I feel as if my world is being destroyed, and I am being demolished from the inside out, my stability collapsing with each step I take forward.
"I may have killed her" turns into "I've killed her" as anxiety attacks my mind.
I've never experienced a fear like this. It's mixed in with guilt and self-hatred, and all three feelings are eating away at me violently. Fat tears begin to spill out of my eyes.
I know I've killed Katie. If she so much as touched that necklace, she'd be dead in an instant. The thought is too much for me to handle. I should've been more careful, maybe packaged the necklace in a box rather than brown paper, where it would stay secure and not be able to easily slide out.
But it's too late now. There's no changing what I've done.
When I hear voices from a few corridors down, I force myself to make my way up to the Room of Requirement, where I know I won't be found.
It takes all of the strength within me to keep myself from collapsing onto the floor. I want to scream, to sob. And in the moment, I can't stand to be in my own body.
By the time I reach the room of requirement, I can't breathe. I somehow manage to pace back and forth in front of the wall behind which it hides, until a small door appears in place of the pale bricks.
I stumble in through the entrance, finally alone.
And I scream.
I yell and sob, sinking to my knees until my voice is low and hoarse. And I pull my hair, tears leaking into my mouth. I'm disgusted with myself and in denial of what I've done.
It seems like hours that I'm alone, when in reality, it was most likely only minutes. And within that short amount of time, I'm back on my feet, pacing back and forth like a madman. I've lost sense of where I am and how long it's been. But who I am, I know fully, and hate and fear with a passion that I've never experienced before.
You've killed her. She didn't need to die, but you've killed her.
A small and malicious voice in my head whispers this to me.
"StOP!" I shout, my gravelly voice cracking as I tug at my hair until my scalp is raw. I know I must've gone insane, and I can't tell whether or not this realization makes me sane.
That's when the door opens.
It's something that momentarily terrifies me. How could somebody have possibly found me? And more importantly, who is it?
And then, I see a curious face surrounded by furious red curls poke out from behind a tall cabinet hung with bird cages.
When she eyes me, her soft lips part the slightest bit, her eyes widen, and brows furrow. She stumbles backward a step or two in shock.
"Jennifer..." I whisper hoarsely, neither of us moving an inch.
And then, I begin to uncontrollably fall forward towards her, my feet carrying me quickly yet clumsily to her comfort. She rushes forward to catch me as I collapse into her arms, tears beginning to leak out of my eyes once again in great numbers.
My face is pressed into her front, muffling my cries and surely dampening her clothing as we sink to the floor harmoniously. I can't hold it in any longer. Wracking sobs begin pouring out of me, and I clutch to the fabric of her shirt like it's life itself. I can feel her small hands moving up and down my back as she whispers soothing words in my ear, her own voice contaminated by tears. It feels as if, in that moment in which I am in her arms, everything will be alright.
Yet I still don't understand how she can stand me. She doesn't even know what I am; a killer, and a monster.
Suddenly, I feel disgusted with myself for violating this girl's comforting arms, and rip away from her, standing up once again with my back to her.
After a moment in which I'm sure Jennifer is in total shock, I feel her stand up behind me too.
"Draco...?"
Jennifer's POV -
Walking in on Draco so clearly distraught and upset, horrified me and broke my heart all in one.
But it confused me just as much.
Is this about Katie Bell? What is going on with him? It's obviously something very serious; I've never seen him so shaken up, and I'm sure I'm the only one.
This is a side of himself he never planned on revealing to anyone, even himself. And now that it's come out, it can't be subdued.
"You-you can't-" Draco begins, startling me. His voice is strained and rough, and it sounds as if he's been screaming for hours on end.
"What?" My words are merely a breath of disbelief.
"You-" he swallows, "you can't know. I-you need to go, J-Jennifer." It seems as if he's struggling for words.
"Draco..." I don't know what to say either, or where I'm going with this, but I'm sure as hell not leaving him. "talk to me...."
This is when he begins to pace back and forth, more thick tears leaking out of his eyes as his hands clasp unnaturally tight behind his back. "You need to go. You need to go. I can't say. I can't talk."
Cautiously, I approach him, unsure of how he'll react. "Tell me what's going on...I can help you." I say quietly, resting a hand on his arm.
As soon as my hand comes in contact with him, he throws me off violently, causing me to stumble back until I've fallen on the floor. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE JENNIFER!" He yells, a look of ferocity in his eyes that makes me cower backwards. "I CAN'T TELL YOU!"
As he stares down at me, his face softens. "Oh-god-" he continues to pace back and forth across the stone floor, mumbling to himself.
I slowly rise to my feet again, very confused and a little afraid. The strength with wish he pushed me to the ground scares me; I didn't know he had it in him.
What the hell is he going on about? I can't help him if he doesn't tell me.
"Oh, fuck, what have I done..." Draco's voice breaks and his hands begin to tremble. "She's dead. All gone, because of me."
As I watch him, I realize he's talking about Katie Bell.
"It's not your fault." I say quietly, unsure of how to comfort him and whether or not that is true.
Suddenly, he begins to laugh. Not as if he finds something humorous, but rather a cold and distorted chuckle, as though he's losing sanity.
"No, it is...it is..."
"I can't help you if you won't tell me." I say these words carefully, not sure of how he'll react to them.
"Oh god..." He ignores me, his hands clawing at his scalp as more tears pour out of his eyes. "I'm terrible, I've done things that would horrify you..."
His voice is shaking tremendously, and I begin to feel the increasing thumping of my heart deep in my chest. "Draco...you're scaring me..."
"Oh, hell." He laughs again, seemingly unable to look me in the eyes as he paces back and forth, "damn right you should be."
"What's going on?" I ask, still unable to get an answer out of him. My face is extremely hot, and my stomach is twisting and turning this way and that. I try to hold back the tears pooling in my eyes, but am unable to.
"Fuck." He breathes, collapsing down onto the floor and wrapping his arms around his knees. "What have I done..." the tears from his eyes burst forth like water from a dam. I can see his walls crumbling down, brick by brick. "I had to do it, right? But she didn't have to die...he was supposed to...it all went wrong and he'll be very, very angry...he'll take things from me, people..."
His low and quivering voice terrifies me. "Draco-" I begin, unsure of what I'll say. My heart is pumping wildly in my chest. "What's going on?"
He sits there for a moment quietly, his silence paralyzing me with fear.
And then, he's on his feet, much closer to me than before. I can detect the fury in his bloodshot eyes, and cower away from him.
"YOU WANT TO KNOW?!?!" He screams, causing me to flinch.
I instantly shrink away. "Y-yes." Is all I can stammer, although I'm not sure if I do anymore.
"YOU WANT TO FUCKING KNOW?!?!" He repeats, even louder and more violently this time if possible. His breathing is heavy and ragged, and right up in my face.
"Yes!" I shout.
Draco turns his back to me, pacing in the other direction. "Oh, she's going to hate me..." he sounds as if he's talking to himself.
At this point, I'm truly terrified of what he's going to tell me. Will it even be fully truthful?
"Well, then I'll show you..." He mutters shakily, a look of hatred and remorse in his eyes as he faces me once again, and rips his left sleeve up.
Every organ in my body stops functioning for the smallest moment in time. Just one tick of a clock. For what lies underneath his left sleeve, is far more sinister than I ever would've imagined.
A jet black skull, with a serpent protruding from it's mouth like a withering tongue. Although I don't know very much about the wizarding world, I know fully well what this is.
The Dark Mark.
"Say it, Jennifer." Draco breathes, interrupting my pure horror. His left arm is still extended. "You know what I am..."
But my mind begins to fail, like an engine turning over and over. The dark claw of fear wraps around my heart, wringing it of any hope and light.
After a few minutes of choked silence, I finally find my ability to speak again. "A-a-" -I gulp- "A Death Eater."
Draco's POV-
Jennifer stands completely unmoving, her wide eyes filled with fear and focused on the ink burned into my left forearm. I feel exposed, as though I want to cover it up once again, but I can't.
She stands silently for a few minutes, and each second that passes by tortures me.
I want to know what she thinks. She must be disgusted by me now, even hate me. The idea makes me loathe myself all the more.
Finally, I can't take it any longer. "Go on." I begin, my voice grim. "Tell me how much you hate me. Say that you don't want anything to do with me anymore and that you're going to tell everyone. Yell at me, cry. Hell, do something. But please, don't just stand there."
I see her physically gulp; she can't even look me in the eyes. "Do you...condone what they do?" I notice how she refers to them as separate from me, like I'm not a part of his group after all.
Her question confuses me, but I shake my head no, in honesty. "No, never."
"Well, it's settled then." She says simply, her voice much calmer than before.
"What?" I ask. What is she trying to tell me?
Finally, her eyes divert to mine, and they're filled with a sense of calmness that relaxes me the tiniest bit. "That I don't care."
At first, her words leave me in disbelief. But when I make sense of them, they heal me. "Oh, Jennifer..." I trail off, unsure of how to thank her. I've never received this kind of care in my life, it's so new to me and so warm.
It feels as if these past few months, I've been trapped in a living nightmare, with no one to tell or confide in. I've been alone, and now, I'm free.
I can't take it anymore. Quickly, I stumble forward, collapsing into her small arms.
Once again, I begin to sob unceasingly into her chest, hands clutching at her already tear-soaked shirt. She holds me in silence, rocking me slowly as we melt to the floor. A tiny laps allows me to pull away, my blinking lashes heavy with tears, before I fall back into her again.
My howls aren't of sorrow, but rather of built up stress and fear that I've been dealing with by my lonesome ever since the Dark Lord claimed me as his, being released all at once.
Never did I think that someone would understand my situation, or my madness. But now, Jennifer has come along, and saved me from myself. Inside of me, there's something new for her. I don't know what it is, but I've changed.
All I've been for what seems to be a long time is a key, a piece in Voldemort's games. And all of this rage, this hatred, and this fear has been caged inside of me, tormenting me and sucking the life out of me until this very moment.
I realize that Jennifer has freed me from this misery. She is what makes my heart beat and what makes my world turn.
She is the purpose to my chaos.
***
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Trust me, it only gets crazier from here guys! Thank you so much for hanging on with me, I'll be back to you with another chapter soon! I can't wait for you guys to experience and live in the rest of this story, it's going to be insane! Thanks so much for supporting me, I love you all!