Do I continue to read the letters? I mean, I am curious at to what else Glinda had told her parents, but at the same time I still feel guilty for reading even the two I have read. Elphaba, you have to stop feeling guilty like that! Again, her mother told you, she gave you permission to read them. I decide that I will, but before I can continue there is a knock at my door. "Come in."
"Excuse me, Miss Elphaba?" Bessie says as she opens my door, and look up from the stack of letters. "I was wondering if you would you would like anything for dinner? Glinda is having dinner with her family tonight."
"Thank you Bessie, but I am not hungry at the moment." I smile at her. "In fact, why don't you take the rest of the night off. I can get myself something to eat if I become hungry later." She looks at me surprised, and then very excited. "Are you sure? I mean, I would love to take the night off."
"Then go take the evening off. Go see a movie, or shopping, or whatever you would like to do."
"Thank you! Thank you so much." She says and give me a quick curtsy. "Have a good night!"
I roll my eyes. "I've told you before not to curtsy. Now go enjoy night, Bessie." I say as she smiles then heads out the door.
Once she leaves I sit there for a few more before turning my attention back to the letters. I again draw from the stack somewhere a little past where I had taken the last one from.
My dearest darling Momsie and Popsicle,
I don't have much time so I am just sending you this quick note.
Today I got the most thrillifying news! Elphie has asked me to accompany her the Emerald City! Oh, I have always wanted to see the Emerald City, and to think I finally get to! That isn't even the most incredible thing. You see, Elphie received a letter from the Wizard himself! She is going to meet him face to face, and I get to be there when she does! I'm so excited!
I chuckle picturing Glinda letting out her high pitched squeal, and maybe even bouncing slightly. She seems to react like that when she is excited about something or just really happy.
We are actually on the train right this minute as I write to you,, and will arrive a day ahead of schedule so we can have a chance to see Wiz-o-mania! It's going to be so incredible!
I promise we will be safe, and I will write you when we return to Shiz and tell you all about it. Love and kisses to you both.
Your precious daughter,
Galinda
Setting the letter aside I have mixed feeling because I know that after that visit I didn't return to Shiz. I know the letters after this one are the ones Glinda's mother wanted me to read, but I really don't want to read them, because if I read them then I will once and for all have to admit that I hurt Glinda. In order to delay the pain I know is to come I decide to go find something to eat. It takes me only about thirty minutes.
Returning to the room I sit down, and just stare at the stack of letters in front of me. You can do this, Elphaba. You want to know more about your past, and you want to know what it is everyone is keeping from you. I nod to myself. Okay then. Just take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and press on. I take my own advice, and then take another letter from the stack. I slowly open it.
Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle,
I have returned to Shiz, and as promised I am writing to let you know how things went in the Emerald City. First off, the city is even more green than I expected, and because it was so bright everyone had to wear these special glasses to protect our eyes. It was spectacular!
There were buildings as tall as Quoxwood trees, dress salons and libraries! Palaces and museums a hundred strong! There are wonders like I've never seen! It's all grand and it's all green!
Oh, Momsie and Popsicle, I think I've found a place where I belong. I want to be in that holo polloi! I'll go back again someday to make my life and make my way, but for that day Elphie and I just wandered and enjoyed one short day in the Emerald City. It was one short day to have a lifetime of fun.
It was also the first time Elphie was able to go around and not have people stare at her. It was as if she belong there as well, and to me she was even more beautiful the the emeralds. Seeing her smile made my heart swell and couldn't help but smile as well. It was as if for the first time ever she was really and truly happy. I am glad she was happy, because that is how I want to remember her. I want to remember that day forever. Her laugh, her smile, the way she let her walls down and let me see who she really is. I am going to miss her so much. I already do.
Momsie. Popsicle. I am not sure what to do for you see Elphie did not return to school with me. Something happened when she went before the Wizard. He revealed his plans for Animals, and Elphie went berzerk! She started ranting and raving, and I could tell she was thoroughly upset and disgusted with what was going on. I let her rant and and rave and thought that she would get over it, but she didn't. If I knew what would happen next I never would have gone, and I certainly would had tried my best to keep Elphie from going to see the Wizard.
The very next day we packed up for things and prepared to take a carriage back to Shiz. We were to leave at seven o'clock. Elphie told me to wait on the while she found some food for us. When she returned she hands me a bag that has a couple apples, a small loaf of bread, some cheese, and also hands me small jug of apple cider. I found it odd that she apologized about how little food there was. I assured her it was fine and we would have more than enough. It wasn't long after that the carriage arrived and we boarded. We got our seats with little difficulty, and I sat down. It was then I noticed Elphie just stood there staring at me. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she wasn't returning to Shiz. I laughed thinking she was kidding, but then I noticed the look on her face. She was completely serious.
I noticed then that the words on the page seem to be slightly smudged, and it also appears to have faint tear stains on it. I close my eyes for a moment wrapping my head around the fact that I made Glinda cry.
I begged her to stay, but she told me she couldn't. She said she had to stand up to the Wizard and fight for the Animals. I wanted to go with her, but again she wouldn't have it. I said I could help her, and she told me if I really wanted to help then to stay and help her sister Nessarose and finish my time at Shiz. It was after that she held me close and I clung to her again begger her to either stay with me or return, but I knew she wouldn't. She is so stubborn!
Do you know what she told me? She had the nerve to say, and I quote, "You'll be all right now you're a seasoned traveler. This is just the return leg of a voyage you already know." She put her face against my cheek then and kissed it. "Hold out, if you can," she murmured, and kissed me again. "Hold out, my sweet." After that she got off the carriage, and the driver clucked the reins, and pitched a cry to leave. I craned her head to see Elphie, and I just say her as she drifted back into the crowds. For all her singularity of complexion, it was astounding how quickly she became camouflaged in the ragamuffin variety of street life in the Emerald City. Or maybe it was the foolish tears blurring my vision.
I don't understand why it stings so much. It is as if my chest, no my heart, has burst into a thousand pieces. Why does it hurt so bad? I know we are, or were friends, but it has never felt like this before when I have said goodbye to other friends.
I am sorry, but I can't keep writing. This letter has already pained me enough writing. I am exhausted and tired both from travel and the fact I haven't been able to sleep. I will write again soon.
Your precious daughter,
Glinda
By the time I finish the letter I realize I am actually crying. If it weren't for stinging from the pain I am not sure I would have stopped. I look up and wipe away the tears, and it is then I notice it has grown dark outside. Getting up grab a nightgown, and make my way to the bathroom.
Once there I close the door and lock it. Great! Just great! I think as I see the burn marks from the tears. Sighing I open the medicine cabinet and take out a bottle of special salve, and begin to clean up the burns. After that I change into my nightgown, toss my clothes into the hamper, and head back to my room and into bed uncertain if sleep will come to me tonight.