We sat together for the puja which was more or less an obligatory ritual which my Dad made me follow. Dinner was served and we ate together talking, laughing and arguing. By 10:30 we were almost done with all the celebratory activities and Gam retired to bed. Savitri and Geeta cleaned and they too left. As always Josh and I were the only ones left behind.
I sat on the couch ladylike and leaned back.
“This sucks it’s not even 11 and we are done.” Josh said plopping next to me which made me jump a little as well.
“I mean what are these people doing anyway?” He remarked at the deafening sounds of the crackers and laughter.
“Just because we are sad doesn't mean they can't celebrate D’costa,” I said
“Anyway where is your object of affection? Haven't seen for a long time now?” I asked.
He scrunched his face and replied, “Saloni is in Calcutta visiting her parents, her flight was on the same day when our exams ended, she did insist on staying and cancelling her holiday but I told her not to, what help she would be of anyway.” he justified yet again.
“Okay.” I simply stated.
He looked at me weirdly like saying “okay? Really?”
“Fine what do you want me to say?” I asked
“I want you to say that she’s a bad girlfriend that she should have stayed behind with me when she knew I was practically alone, can you say that?” He said sounding annoyed
“What good would that do? But if it makes you feel better fine, she’s a bad girlfriend, Happy!” I said raising my hands in air.
After a few minutes of silence he stood up, “Chalo, let’s go somewhere.”He said.
“Uh, where?” I asked
“Let’s see Ice cream?” He asked
I grinned.
“Are you coming like that?” He asked
“What do you mean like that? People are going to be dressed hip, it’s Diwali,” I said rolling my eyes.
“No, no, I mean your choli it doesn't have a back,” he mumbled.
“Huh? Seriously? It’s backless,” I said.
“Umm yeah, but it’s...it’s cold outside,” he said quickly.
“Let’s go you psycho,” I said strapping my silver heels. That guy is a liar, he din want me to go outside in a backless choli, while his girlfriend roamed around wearing really tiny shorts and skirts, hypocrite, I thought.
We walked to an Ice cream stall nearby while people stared us down. It was indeed cold and I regretted wearing a skimpy choli. I ordered for cookie cream and he got himself some banana almond weird sounding scoop.
We sat outside the parlor and hogged our respective ice creams. It was cold and I was having ice cream, my arms literally had those cold Goosebumps and Josh being the gentleman he is taunted on not wearing a jacket as he had suggested.
Finally after lots of taunt and snarky remarks he lended me his jacket.
“Thank you” I said genuinely. I loved how his jackets made me feel, warm and safe. Now he looked cold, so I suggested we go home but he denied and said,
“Naa lets just sit here for some time, it’s nice.”
“O okay,” I said and scooted to where he was sitting so he wouldn't feel that chilly. Like he understood my gesture, he wrapped his arms around me looked down at me and smiled.
“You know Kalsi, I hate festivals and celebrations or any get together, and it’s annoying how much you miss your family on these occasions and days, haina?” He asked.
I just nodded with tears already welling up in my eyes; “you know why I came down to India?” He asked
I nodded saying no; I looked up to him and saw him staring straight into the space.
“Because I love my family, I love them a lot.” he said sounding lost.
I was about to ask what he meant by that, he left his family because he loved them. But before asking he replied.
“My parents got divorced and they asked me who I wanted to live with and I just couldn't decide who to pick over whom, Cheryl chose Mom and I just couldn't.”
“Cheryl?” I asked
“My baby sister.”He said now looking at me.
“She's angry and so is everyone back home especially Mom because I did not choose her over Dad. How could I? Tell me Kalsi how could I?” He said painfully.
“If it weren't for Maa I don’t know what I would have done. And now they are even angrier because my here in India. They say I’m immature and selfish, that I only care about myself and that's why I ran away when my Mom and Sister needed me the most, I’m a coward Kals, I’m a coward!” he cried.
I sat upright and took his hands in mine, “What you did was right, absolutely right, okay,” was I could say. How can a person, who is herself in need of comfort, console someone else?
We held each other for a long time, till Josh felt better and we walked home, hand in hand.
His story made me recollect mine and I couldn't sleep that night and had to take a heavy dose to knock myself dead asleep.
Even the medicines wouldn't work and I just couldn't sleep so like always I walked over to Gams but this time I felt a little more dizzy I shook my head and fell on the couch but still that sneaky bitch wouldn't come.
“Kalsi?” Josh's voice came from behind and I looked up at him hardly able to focus on his figure.
I smiled, “Hey Josh.”
“Christ are you alright!” he said looking at my sweaty face and bloodshot eyed.
“Of course m alright,” I giggled.
“Kalsi, are you drunk?” He asked and splashed water on my face.
“No I’m not drunk, I just had my meds,” I spilled out innocently not knowing what I was saying and Why.
“Josh,” I cried. Immediately he came and on the floor holding my hand while I slept on the couch.
“Oh god,” he cried
“Are you alright, baby? Please tell me.”
“I miss my family too you know, though I never really had any,” I said
“Kalsi let’s talk about this tomorrow please, just sleep,” he begged.
“My mom, she was crazy according to the doctors, a mental patient she developed some psychological problem and lost herself in that web. I only used to visit my mum in the hospital where she wouldn't even recognize me. We had to let her go Josh, we had to. And when she died I not only lost my mom but also my dad, I lost them both.” and I yelled and cried.
“He didn’t even come for Diwali,” I cried and continued sobbing.
Gam was up by now; she wheel chaired herself next to the couch.
“Hush, shhh baby doll, it’s okay,” and she tried comforting me.
But nothing worked; I couldn't stop this dam that had burst.
“Gam, help me, I can't stop weeping, please make it stop, please...”
“Okay baby doll, okay, we will stop it right away,” she said.
“Josh, Josh” she yelled again. Josh was terrified he had never seen me in this state, I was having one of my attacks and I couldn't stop it.
“Josh, go and get that blue box from my side table quickly, go,” gam instructed.
He ran and came back in split seconds.
“I’m crazy too Gam, just like my mother,” I kept on mumbling.
“Lift her sleeve,” she instructed again and so he did.
Gam injected something in my arms and I lost consciousness within seconds.
Josh sat there holding my hand, looking petrified.
“Josh...”
“I’m going to sit here for sometime Maa,” he said
“But she won’t be able to hear you, she wouldn't even remember this tomorrow morning, please act as normal as you can okay,” she said with teary eyes.
“Yes Maa,” he replied.
Gam went in but Josh just sat there holding her hand, whispering everything would be fine and comforting her.