I didn't know what to say. What could he be hiding from me?
'What's up?' He asked me with worry in his eye's. He was now standing over me as I still sat on the floor, his hand was held out for me to grab and for him to pull me up. I took the offer and stood up beside him. He grabbed both my hands and looked down into my eyes.
'Maybe we should go somewhere more private?' It wasn't a question it was more of an order. I just nodded, I didn't want to miss up on an opportunity to spend time with him or talk to him.
We headed towards the woods area where we spent the first morning at Folkswood and where mine and Carl's confessions were told. The walk felt long as a conversation brewed, but didn't boil.
'I need to show you something?' He stopped in his tracks and looked forward, still at the woods.
'Okay.' A single word answer sounded appropriate.
The rest of the walk was quiet, just the sound of our boots shuffling through the grass was heard.
'Close your eyes.' He mumbled turning to me as we reached the opening to the woods. I did as I was told. He held my hand, guiding me past obstacles the woods's had offered. 'Okay, look.' We stopped and I slowly opened my eyes.
There in the distance were those hills, from less than a week ago. The one's that were once covered in daises, and where Carl cried out his confusing emotions to me, where now covered in dead, dried out plants. Carl continued to walk towards the fence just in front of the hills. We hadn't drove far from the highway to of gotten here, which shocked me.
'They aren't-' I started.
'yeah, they're our hills.' He crawled under a small gap, which I was presuming he had made, under the fence. 'C'mon.' He said as he walked out, not looking back. I didn't hesitate, I followed him. He began to jog and then he started to sprint. Why is he so eager to show me dead plants?
He continued to run to the top of the hill with open arms.
'Do you see this?' He yelled out to me, while I was still stumbling up the hill.
'Dead flowers?' I collapsed when I reached the top.
'But why are they dead - and don't say because of the lack of rain or nature, think into it.' There was a pause, I knew where he was coming from, but I didn't have the heart to bring it up. 'Mom, they are dead because of Mom. I came here the day I first told you, you know-'
'You love me?'
'yeah, that I love you, and they were all the same as before. It made me smile y'know, being as they are alive and beautiful, but now they are dead and ugly.'
'They'll grow back.' I pointed out. I regretted saying that straight after.
'But Mom won't come back, as herself I mean.' It was quiet. The dead flowers crunched as Carl paced up and down frantically. He did it for so long it startled me when he came to a sudden stop in his path way. 'You lied.'
Now the truth was coming out. This is what he really wanted to say.
'About what again?' I wasn't sure what he was on about, as he could have taken any of my sarcastic remarks into the wrong context.
'You said and I quote "Nobody is going anywhere for a long long time" therefore you lied.'
'Is this why you've been such a prick the last day?' I'm such an idiot, what am I on about.
'Oh shut up for God's sake, I genuinely believed you and had it lingering in my mind that she was going to live through this and see the other side of the apocalypse!'
'Carl, calm down, I didn't know! I wouldn't wish this upon anyone!' I stood up now making my way towards him. 'Carl you frustrate me sometimes!'
'I frustrate you?' He let out a single laugh. 'Aurora-May if anyone is frustrating anybody, it's you who frustrates me! For as long as I have met you all you seem to say is "we're not together" or "we aren't like that"! It upsets me that you clearly don't want any relationship with me what-so -ever, you don't want to tell me or anyone else how you really feel about me!'
'I've told you I love you! I LOVE CARL GRIMES!' I screamed it put to make my point.
'Then why say all those thing's, making me all angry and hot tempered?'
'Because in this world, and i've said this so many times before, it's so hard to commit to having a strong and caring bond with somebody. If we became what you so wish and, God forbid, the worst happened to you, I could never live with myself properly again!' I'm almost a thousand percent sure i've made this valid point a few times.
'So if I died right now, your saying, you wouldn't really care that much?' His mixing up my words, but I see how he picked that up.
'...that's not what I meant Carl.'
He screamed and turned his back on my rubbing both of his hand's through his hair.
'You don't get anything Aurora! For fuck's sake all you do is come up with excuse after excuse after excuse! I'm sick of it!' He slowly leaned closer, yelling louder and louder. 'I have never had such strong feeling's for another person in my whole life! I want to punch you in the face sometimes 'cus you are so blind to the obvious connections we have! Can't you see that I used to go on at my Mom about all this, hence why she loved seeing how happy you made me! The only times I smiled and it was genuine, was when you were mainly on my mind or I was around you.' I was a bit taken back and confused at this point, he was yelling at me in anger, yet he is complimenting me with nice feelings and remarks. He got so close to me now I felt his breath breathe out heavily on my face as he sighed loudly. 'Aurora-May Walters I want to, UGH, for God's sake I want to kiss you so bad!'
'Why don't you man the hell up and do just that then!' I spat back. What even is this now? Is it an argument, or a loud and aggressive meaningful conversation.
He pressed his lips against mine again, I felt the same spark as I did at the campfire. I needed him just as much as he needed me. He kept me sane for the last week and that's all the hope I need. He has shown me that love really does exist when the world in which we live in is full of grim.
'I'm so mad at you, but I sure as hell love the fuck out of you.' He mumbled angrily into the kiss. The kiss was passionate and lasted a while. When we pulled apart I took this slot to say something I should have said last night.
'I felt that something, you know what you were on about last night, I felt that when we kissed at the campfire too and I felt the same spark just then.' I looked at him, his face was flushed and he almost had relief glowing off of him Whatever contact and conflict that just happened was good for him and maybe even me as well. I didn't get much say, but I heard some stuff I needed to hear. A small voice in my head let me know that he hadn't bared all, but right now, if i'm honest, I don't necessarily care.
'Excuse me?' coughed a friendly and familiar voice, causing me and Carl to both look over our shoulders.