It was going on 9 o'clock when I snuck down the stairs in a tank top and some shorts. Since my mom didn't have work today she went to bed early.
I crept out the front door and closed it quietly behind me.
Jahseh's mom's car was parked in my driveway as he sat on the drivers side waiting on me. I had convinced him to come to the beach party with me, so of course he agreed to come.
He stole Ms.Cleopatra's car while she was sleeping along with Aiden. Which I was kind of skeptical about but hell we needed transportation and I wasn't about to pay for no uber.
I hurried and hopped in the front seat seeing that he had nothing on but some swimming trunks and slides.
"Okay go because my mom is a light sleeper and anything she hears she'll get up and check on it" I told him shutting the car door behind me.
"Ight give me a second" He said.
He rolled down the window and stuck his head out.
"Aye Ms.Tory, Taylor sneaking out the house!" He shouted causing me to slap his arm and pull him back away from the window.
"Jahseh stop!!! Go!" I said while cautiously looking over at the front door.
We arrived at the beach and parked the car in the parking lot. Getting out, we could already hear loud music coming from by the beach side.
People walked around and got out of their cars heading over towards the sand.
Jahseh came over to my side of the truck as I put my phone inside of the glove compartment.
He stood there and waited while I began to pull off my shirt which revealed my bikini top underneath.
I stuck it in the car then began to slide off my shorts. Jahseh watched my every move until I got them off then quickly turned and looked away.
I pulled my hair up into a messy bun the closed the car door.
"Okay lets go"
I led the way out of the parking lot and we began to walk through the sand. Further down, there was a huge bon fire and a couple of people stood around it.
Others splashed around in the salty beach waters while some just walked and stood around drinking and getting high.
Jahseh and I walked over to look for Ashaunti and Kayla who said they'd be here.
Seeing them standing over by the fire with the boys including Ashaunti's boyfriend- we made our way over to them.
Jahseh didn't really want to go over there with them so he just slowly walked behind me.
"Taylor!" Ashaunti said meeting us halfway and jumping on me.
"Why are you always jumping on me? Ashaunti you're far from the same weight as a feather" I told her.
"Hey Jahseh" She laughed before getting down.
He simply just nodded his head at her.
We walked over to the rest of them and I greeted them all. Everyone spoke except for Kayla and Marco.
Kayla gave Jahseh and I a funny look before glancing just at me.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked.
I nodded my head as she pulled me away from them. Jahseh not wanting to stand there with them, moved away as well.
He stood there and waited off on the side while Kayla stood in front of me.
"Seriously Taylor what is this?" She asked confusing me.
"What?"
"Why are you hanging out with him so much all of a sudden???" She asked.
"Kayla, he's my friend–
"Uh no look at him. Did you forget that we were popular and he was weird and lame as fuck? You know you're ruining you reputation hanging out with him right?"
"I don't care about a reputation Kayla. He's not even what people make him seem. Trust me, if you got to know him you would know" I tried to explain.
"Nah I'll pass. You dont even make time for the rest of us anymore? Any time I ask you to hang out, its always oh no sorry I cant im doing such and such with Jahseh" She said.
"Its not even like that-"
"No it is like that. Until you stop fucking with him we don't want to be seen with you anymore. When you get rid of fucking weirdo, hit us up" She said before walking off.
I stood there not believing that I had actually just lost my bestfriend over something as stupid as me hanging out with Jahseh.
I stood there dumbfounded as she went over to the rest of them. They all looked over at me and Cj even shook his head.
Jahseh walked up to me with a concerned look on his face.
"What's wrong?" He asked seeing that I was on the verge of crying.
"Welp, I just lost all my fucking friends so thats great" I told him.
I was a very sensitive and emotional person. And losing all my closes friends really touched me since I've been good friends with them since 8th grade middle school.
Jahseh studied my face while I sighed.
"Come on" He said to me.
He walked away and I had no clue on where he was taking me but I followed him anyways. He led me far away from everybody to the other side of the beach.
We went underneath this extremely tall deck which was a little darker since there weren't any light from the party near by.
He went and sat down on the sand a little away from where the waves touched the shore.
I came and sat down beside of him
propping my knees up to my chin.
The sounds of the waves wash against the shore was extremely loud and we could hear faint music coming from the other side of the beach.
"I just don't understand how people can tell you they would never fold on you but do it anyways over something so pathetic" I told him.
He nodded his head agreeing.
"Fuck them. They weren't real friends anyways. Real friends wouldn't have just threw you off to the side like that" He said.
"But Kayla though? Ive been bestfriends with her since 4th grade" I shook my head as a tear slid down my cheek.
"You can't trust everyone Taylor. Even the people you think are deadass down for you" He said.
I sniffled causing him to look over at me.
"Stop fucking crying over their lame asses" He said kissing his teeth.
"Its their lost not yours. They just lost a really good friend, not you Tay" He said.
I nodded my head trying to convince myself that what he said was true.
"I have this one friend back in Florida that I honestly truly only trust. His name is Stokeley, that nigga has had my back since forever" He started looking over off towards the water.
"I met him in jail and we became close as fuck" He chuckled.
"He is literally the only nigga I told my personal shit to. The only nigga. Moral of the story is you dont need a large group of friends one person is good enough. At the end of the day, nothing is forever and nobody is going to stay by your side for eternity. They all come and go. Dont ever cry over no fuck ass people because nobody is really worth it" He explained.
I wiped my eyes and nodded my head.
"What did they cut you off for anyways?" He asked.
"You"
He looked at me confused.
"Over me? What did I do?" He asked.
"Nothing. They just didn't want me hanging around you because they claimed you made me look bad and was bringing my reputation down or some shit like that" I told him.
"Oh" He said looking down at the ground.
"Thats not true though. I could give zero fucks about what people thought about me being friends with you" I told him truthfully.
"Now I feel bad" He chuckled lightly.
"Don't. Like you said, fuck them" I shrugged.
It got quiet for a moment as we continued to listen to the sounds of the waves.
"I think about death a lot and taking my own life away sometimes" He said randomly.
I looked over at him shocked at the random statement.
"Really? Why??"
"Im not happy" He said.
"I feel like I dont belong here; on earth. I feel like my whole entire existence was just a waste of creation. So many people hurt me.. The ones that claimed to care for me and love me lied and let me down." He said. I could hear the hurt in his voice as he began to speak.
"Im always walking around looking mad or with a blank expression face because im numb. I can't feel anything anymore my heart and my soul is just numb."
"I see things in the world differently from other people. Like when we all die, I believe that we're all going to come back as something different or someone different until we get ourselves together. Life is like a test, you know?"
I nodded as he twisted his lips to the side.
"On my 13th birthday I wished to be dead before I turned 18. Sadly, im still here but throughout the years I did self harm myself and try to like take my own life away a few times" He shrugged.
"The only reason I acted the way I did, like getting kicked out of my old schools and getting sent to jail was all for attention. I was never my mom's main priority surprisingly, and I always felt neglected and alone and I just wanted her love and attention" He said.
He continued to tell me about more of his life stories and things that has happened to him in the past. Even a situation about his ex girlfriend who had got him sent to jail for falsely claiming he beat her, and lying saying that she was pregnant.
When he spoke to me I could almost feel every word that came out of his mouth. It felt good to actually know the true meaning of him and to finally get to understand where he had been coming from.
After an hour of being in tears from his life stories he stood up off the sand and dusted his hands off.
"Lets get out of here. Fuck life, fuck feelings, and fuck people" He said holding his hand out for me to grab on so that he could help me up.
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last update for today.. excuse any mistakes.
since he mentioned stokeley, whats your favorite song by ski mask the slump god? Mine is gone and catch me outside & physco.