I stood there, looking into the livingroom. Just looking at her, thinking about how to approach her, without calling her out of her name, without being hostile, without all the bullshit. I finally said another prayer, and walked into the living room and sat right beside her on the couch. She looked at me weirdly, and scooted over. So I scooted right next to her again.
She looked at me and rose her arched eyebrow
"Um.."
"Wait. Hold up," I put my hand up. "I got something to say.."
Again, she stared at me weirdly and cautiously. I took a deep breath before speaking
"I been thinking and, I wanna squash the beef we got. I mean we blood, we can't keep hurting each other like we do. I don't want to keep going places, and we see each other and don't speak like we don't know each other. I don't wanna keep putting each other down. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting, and I'm tired of being miserable." I told her
She eyed me for a while then finally opened her mouth to speak.
"I never thought you'd say that. Especially so sudden.." She said
"I know you don't really know how to apologize, but I know that's what your trying to do. So I forgive you. Do you forgive me, for all that I've done to you?" She asked sincerely
"Yeah, I forgive you." I told her
She smiled at me before inching towards me to give me a hug.
I really did forgive Shawnie, it's hard to forgive, but I gotta do it for me. It's alright to forgive, but don't ever forget. The question is, did she really forgive me?
Whether she did or didn't, it's now her problem. I've dropped all my problems with her. I've fixed issues with August, Most importantly I'm working on a bond with the woman that brung me in the world.
I ain't saying all my problems are solved, I still gotta lot of work to do. But I must I must admit I'm proud of myself for taking the first step to bettering my life. After chatting with Shawnie, about absolutely nothing, I went back upstairs to my room, or shall I say our room. I grabbed my phone, no missed calls, but I had a text from tank, asking would I be cool with august working with me from now on to make drops, kid must be really impressing Tank to be Finna make drops like that with me. I thought back on the day corahn and I made a drop to that one bitch's house. Tink. I laughed to myself, I was so pissed that day. Funny how when time goes by, moments that angered you or saddened you, sometimes you look back and laugh about it. Funny how time can change everything. A few days ago, corahn was my bestfriend, and I'd kill somebody over him, yesterday, I wanted to kill him.
I texted tank back, and told him I'd be cool with august working with me. I then went on Instagram, I barely log on this shit. The last picture I posted was 12weeks ago according to Instagram. I scrolled through my pictures, most were Kotd pictures. I stopped at one, one of me and corahns shoes. He had on his Last shot 14s, while I had on my candy cane 14s. I then decided to go to his profile.
He had the huge ass house that he was living in on there. I shook my head to myself. Instagram knows everything about his ass. The house was nice as hell though, looked like a mini mansion. Then he had a picture that caught my attention, him and some female smiling, looks as if they were sitting on a couch or something. This must be the little bitch he was telling me about. She was cute or whatever, she was bright skinned with burgundy hair, I think she may be Mexican or something. I went to the next picture. She was behind him with her lips tooted up, and her hands throwing up a gang sign. One that she probably knows nothing about.
"Chilling with my thug Tay." The caption read. I smacked my lips, her ass don't know what a thug is. That's one thing that always irritates me with females, they always wanna claim a title that doesn't truly fit them. Bitch if you notta thug, don't say you are. Don't act like you are. Im not Trynna say im a thug, but I will get on yo ass.
Just to be petty, I liked the picture.
"That's not gonna make you feel better," a voice interrupted
I recognized that voice, but I couldn't put a face to it. It was so soft, but also stern. I looked up to see who was talking to me and there she was.
My Aunt Kam.
The main woman to support me of my dreams besides Mama Lockridge, the main one to accept me for me.
I leaped off my bed to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tight.
"You've gotten so big," she said pulling away from the hug, observing my features.
I also observed hers, she still looks the same but has gained a little weight inn her hips. Her hair still red. She always said it fits her personality.
"I know, I haven't seen you since, forever" I laughed
"Well I'm here now love. How have you been?"
"Well, I can say I'm doing better than what I was." I honestly admitted
"I'm glad to hear that. I'm also glad you and your mother are on good terms, I know you guys still have a lot to work on, but I'm glad you guys are finally trying to bond" she smiled
I nodded
"But, I also know that little boy had you over hear broken into pieces. When Angie told me you were crying, I couldn't believe it. Especially over a boy" she scoffed
I should've known my mama would tell her about that.
"It isn't how it sounds, he just hurt me. He was the last one if expect to hurt me like that, you don't understand how I feel." I told her looking down
"No, I don't. But your mother does, she went through the same thing with your fa--
I rose my hand to stop her
"Don't mention that name, please."
She looked me in my eyes for a moment. Then she sighed
"Adrian, don't be in here, hung up over that little boy." She stressed, I see she changed that subject
"I ain't hung up over no nigga." I frowned
"Then why you looking at his pictures on your phone?"
She had a point. I remained silent
"Exactly. If you got something you wanna say To him, or ask him, don't just stare at his pictures, being a stalker and shit. Call him. You been big and bad all this time, call him and tell his ass how you feel, ace."
I looked up at her with confusion.
It seemed like my name slithered out of her mouth, like her tongue was a python, and my name was venom.
"What? You surprised? I never thought my niece was Ace, the hardcore girl I been hearing about. So you a drug dealer now? Why Adrian? Why you couldn't have gotten a regular job?"
I thought for a moment as I stared at her blankly.
"Number one, yes I'm a drug dealer. Number two, cause I'm good at it. Number three, cause a regular job ain't gone pay the bills and get me what I want." I said bitterly.
She looked me up and down before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She turned on her heal, walking out of the room
"Tell ya mama I stopped by." She called over her shoulder
"Thanks for stopping by," I said sarcastically, smiling.
She suddenly spun around
"That little cocky attitude of yours, is gonna get you hurt someday. Do you not realize drug dealers only get locked up or they die? Ain't no happy ending."
"Eh, it may get me hurt someday, not today though." I shrugged
"You gotta change niece," she said before finally walking out.
I already know I have to change, but I'll do so when the time is right.
Thinking of what Aunt Kam said, I decided to go ahead and call corahn.
I picked up my phone and went to my contacts and called him. I'd never been so nervous about calling somebody before. Let alone his yellow ass.
It rung a few times before my call was answered
"Hello?" Somebody answered, a female to be exact.
"Who's that Tay?" I heard corahn ask in the background
So the little broad already answering the phone
"I don't know," she called back to him "Who's this?"
I rolled my eyes.
"What did it say when you answered it?" I asked
"I didn't check." She answered
"Then check." I snapped
"It's somebody named Adrian." She called to corahn
I heard him tell her to tell me he'll call me later.
"He's a little busy right now, he said he'll call you--
I hung up on her ass. He was lying. He'd tell me to tell the exact same thing to them bitches when I'd answer his phone. He wanna treat me like a basic bitch now? He wanna treat me like I'm one of his hoes? Shit okay, cool. I'll leave his ass alone.
I went to my dresser and glanced at the basketball sitting beside it. I picked it up and palmed it. "You the only one that hasn't changed on me, Spalding." I smiled at the ball.
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